Why Isn't the Two-Man Luge Embraced by the Gay Community More?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Doesn't make sense; You'd think they would.

P.S. Did you notice how instead of arranging the pictures side-by-side like I usually do, I arranged them top and bottom? You're welcome.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Cry and Wap

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

On Tonight's episode and Finale of, "Daisy of Love" there is a GREAT cry and wap scene.

12-Pack was eliminated while they were all standing near the runway of an airport. He wasn't free to leave immediately after, however. They made him watch her and the guy who was chosen over him get all huggy and kissy. Then she tells the winner that she is going to spend all day with him, away from the other remaining contestant. 12-pack had to watch all of this, then the two of them getting in a helicopter and leaving his dumped ass. Then he was allowed in the limo to take him the hell out of there.

Nice to see television direction that does justice to The Cry And Wap.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

I Knew him ath Jameth.....he Uthed to Come by da Poo'

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You're about to find out what Detroit Tiger Marcus Thames and Long Duc Dong have it common.

Sadly I can't embed this video, but you can find it here. You'll have to watch it for the rest of the article to make sense.

It's of the Chappelle's Show sketch about Mr. Ed and Flipper being racist. One part in the piece about Flipper was an interview with a man who had known Flipper for quite a long time. So long, in fact, that he knew him before he was known as Flipper. He in fact, knew him as James. But he has kind of a lisp so he pronounces it "Jame-th". He later goes on to pronounce the word "pool" as, "poo' ".

I am mentioning all of this because the only baseball player nickname I like more than "Oh hey Lee" for Derek Lee, is the one for Detroit's Marcus Thames that relates to the above Chappelle's Show sketch.

His name is Marcus Thames, but it's pronounced "Tems" like the river in London. So I like doing the voice of the dude in the Chappelle's Show sketch and say, "I knew him ath Thameth", but pronouncing it so it rhymes with "James".

Honorable Mention: Saying in the style of Long Duc Dong: "Bet you a big Ortizer, huh?" when David Ortiz steps to the plate.







I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

It Took me a Little While to Figure out why This was Funny

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Apparently the base runner was obstructing the letters "Fig" on the advert for "Frank Robinson Figuring Giveaway".

That cameraman should be kissed on the forehead.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Does Ron Weasley Really Bring Anything to the Table?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I watched a few minutes of a Harry Potter movie on HBO. I've seen 2 or 3 of the HP movies and enjoyed them. But it just dawned on me: Does Ron really bring anything to the table? Does he exist solely to complicate things betwixt Harry and Hermione? Harry is obviously worthwhile, as is Hermione, who seems to be the female version of Harry and keeps him on his toes. Ron just kind of exists. If he weren't there it'd be obvious that Harry and Hermione are gonna end up together, so he's necessary only to make you question/wonder if Harry and Hermione really will wind up together.

Do you think if Harry Potter were written by a dude it would be two girls competing for Harry? It worked well for the Archie Comics.

Harry Potter is kinda like Archie, in that both involve a teenage love triangle. Plus, that HP actor who just got busted selling reefer looks like he could believably be nicknamed, "Jug Head". The similarities are basically endless.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Better With Boxes: Joseph Cornell or B.F. Skinner?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

And yes, I did say "B.F."

Which achievement to thought/their respective field/culture: Psychologist B.F. Skinner's, "Skinner Boxes" or Joseph Cornell's, "Cornell Boxes"?

My money is on B.F..

And much like Snoop Dogg, I got my mind on my money, if you know what I mean.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Something that America's Funniest Home Videos has Taught me

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

White Trash love to do a lot of mean-spirited practical jokes to each other. Like, the kinda where the honoree of a party gets a cake in the face, or dads trick their 6 year-old kids and point-and-laugh insecurely at them afterward. Something at least severe enough that they get yelled at an hour later from the victim and their relationship is awkward for a little while afterward.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Cubs be in First Place

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

True Story

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Last night I visited someone I know that's staying at a youth hostel in my neighborhood. While I was leaving I was walking past a table of 20-somethings who were having a conversation. As I walked by a mild-mannered, studious looking guy I overheard him exclaim, "My friend got beat up by a hooker!".

Best overhearing job of my life. That's what's known as good ear-handling. It's like remote control handling, but with ears. Conversely, if you randomly spot something random, yet worthwhile, that's known as good eyeball handling.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Important Things

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

1. Martha Stewart is kinda the chick MacGyver

2. What happens if you are wearing your contact lenses and you get arrested on the spot doing something really bad and have to stay in jail for a few months? And your lenses are the kind you replace like everyday. Does the state give you saline solution a case and prescription refills? Do they go to your house and get your glasses for you and bring them to prison? They can't do that because that could be turned into a weapon. They'd have to be state-issued prescription glasses. Is that what they do? I hope if I ever get arrested and locked away I'm wearing my glasses.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

All Praise be to Allah. I Remembered This Clip Randomly

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is from the show called "Thank God You're Hear". It's Improv-y and the special guest is dressed in a costume to a scene he doesn't yet know. Behind a door there's a team of improv players who have all prepared for the sketch and they're about to be joined be this person who knows nothing about what its about, so he has to improv.

This is Harland Williams doing it and its one of the funniest things I've ever seen.











I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

My New Punk Band

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

We're gonna be called The Sphinct.s, and our first three albums shall be titled thusly:

1. Riddle of The Sphinct.s
2. Autoerotic ExSphinct.siation
3. Put a Nose On The Sphinct.s

While consulting Polekat $lim regarding the logo of the band, I suggested the Sphinx placed in front of The Sarlaac from the Return of the Jedi. His idea was much better however: The Sphinx with sphincters as eyes.

Lastly, When the Ladies Man, Leon Phelps, performs with us we will be known as, "Leon Sphinct.s".








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Better Song to do the Robot to: Daft Punk's Robot Rock or Planet Rock by Afrika Bambaataa?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com





Or is it this late entrant wild card?



It's a toss up, really.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Ronny Santo

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Ron Santo just said: Theriot is 7 for 10 against Cueto. That's getting it done. That's over .400.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

New Link Added to Recommended Links

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I'm adding a link to the columns of NY Post sports writer Phil Mushnik.

His M.O. is more or less voicing measured and fair criticism of the sports media, New York and National. When you and your friends are watching sports and complain to one another about awful announcing or annoying announcers or sports networks, you're doing what Mushnik does. His usual targets are Joe Morgan, Chris Berman, Kenny Mayne, Mike Francesa, Michael Kay, and ESPN as a whole. Mushnik is most critical of blowhards and announcers that are more concerned with catch-phrases, becoming a charicature of themselves than they are describing the game to viewers/listeners.







I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Just to Review

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The word "Chipotle" is in fact pronounced "Chip-ot-lay". The "T" comes before the "L".

There is a groundswell of support for pronouncing it, "Chip-ol-tay". That is not correct. The succession of letters "-otl" is not pronounced "olt", in spite of popular belief.







I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Answering Once and for all: Who I am and How one Goes About Tangueraying

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I'm trying out a new feature. After viewing an old post and liking one of its features, I'm gonna incorporate it in future posts and see how I like it. It's a footer. Much like how my header is always, "By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com", my footer will be as seen below.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

When Fatties Propose....

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

More like Fat Fail Friday!


(as opposed to Fat Fall Friday)

Oh. Well, I'll be Damned

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

New research suggests that Toucan's use their huge bills to regulate their body temperature. Who knew?

Silvio Berlusconi Sex (audio) Tape

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Silvio is the best. I'm gonna call Casey Kasem and dedicate "Simply The Best" by Tina Turner to him. Then I'm gonna keep my feet on the ground and reach for the stars.

This probably isn't safe for work.

ESPN May Have Trouble Being Consistent With Their Punishment

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

It was big news today that in response to the NY Post showing pics of the Erin Andrews video, ESPN banned all NY Post reporters from appearing on any of their shows. That seems a bit much, but it makes sense.

But Bill O'Reilly played the video on air. Will ESPN now toe the line and refuse to air highlights from FoxSports football and baseball games?

I'm happy if PTI agrees to never have Joe Buck and Tim McCarver on their show again.

Here is B.O. taking the pixelated, moral high ground. I'd have no idea what he was talking about if he hadn't shown the tantalizing video. He's a real journalist's journalist.

I Disappointed Myself Again. Why? Because, Sadly, I Can't, I Won't and I Don't Stop

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

1) I'm a loser
2) I have too much free time
3) My memory is at best when the subject matter matters the least
4) I was searching for a particular Little Caeser's commercial and wasn't able to find it, but while looking for it, I watched a few other Little Caeser's commercials for old time's sake.
5) This was one of them (You'll have to listen to the whole clip for #6 to make sense).


6)Then I realized that that dog's voice was sampled at the very beginning of the song heard here: (The official video of the song can't be embedded, so I had to use this video version, which is actually amusing, but the audio clip is the important thing, and it's spot on).


7) Now you see why I am disappointed.

More Commercial Fun

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

While this commercial doesn't belong in this esteemed company, it wasn't bad back in the day. My mother loved it and it was from this commercial that I first heard the word "Origami". True story.

The Only Reason The Diamond Has Never Done Crack

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com




(My apologies if you have, Joe)

Something Else I Think is Dumb: God Bless and the HoverRound Conundrum

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

When people say, "God bless" instead of, "take care" or "see ya later".

Firstly, what the hell does "bless" even mean? As far as I'm able to discern it means about the same as, "fortune"- a life with many blessings will look an awful like a life with much good fortune. So when someone says, "God bless" they're basically saying, "I hope God grants you good luck". But if they're that theistic, and simply wish you "good luck" can't we assume that the wisher of good luck assumes all good luck comes from God? So isn't the "God" part redundant?

But that's not my major point of annoyance with that phrase. What I find irritating is that when they simply say, "God bless" and not, "May God bless you", or "I'll pray for God's blessings on your behalf" etc., it sounds an awful lot like they are commanding God. "God bless" sounds pretty similar to, "Kevin, go get me a beer" or, "Joe, stop doing that to the dog".

So if the wisher of blessing , 1) Is confident that they are SOOO tight with God himself (or herself) that they can just command him around, and, 2) is truly concerned with your well being, couldn't they just command God to grant you something a lot cooler and more specific than just lame-o, generic "blessing". If someone said "God bless" to me, I'd say, "Listen pal, if God does your bidding, and you're lookin out for me, how about you order the man upstairs to send me a sports car, ocean-front condos and huge pectoral muscles, thanks."

But the never order God for that stuff- and that's stuff I can use! What the hell?

But the fun doesn't stop there. I can understand if someone awesome is alleging to have a hotline to God. If a fabulously good looking, intelligent, successful, empathic Alpha-Male (or female) claimed to have God's Ear, I'd think about considering it. But when a 45-year old fat lady sips her Big Gulp through her zero teeth from her HoverRound says, "God Bless", I really have to question either her authority over God, or just who this "God" person is, and if I want anything to do with him/her, since he obviously really screwed up the HoverRound blesser.

If she says, "God bless" I'd think, "Sure lady, but pardon me for not offering to hold my breath until it happens." But, if she were to say, "May God make you grotesque and HoverRound-bound and smelly." I'd have to respect her ability to force God to make that happen- she has a proven track record. HoverRound tracks, that is. Hi-ooooo.

TheBron Getting Dunked On: All Sizzle, No Steak

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

How Anal Retentive must Nike to deem it necessary to confiscate this crap? The Bron switched over to help a defender and arrived too late. It wasn't even LeBron's man who dunked, and tt wasn't like he got banged on or anything.

Pile Driving Miss Daisy

vs.









By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

TR Slyder Scholars know how much I love the story that the singer of "Take This Job and Shove It", Johnny Paycheck, once shot a man to death in a bar over a dispute about what tastes better- deer meat or turtle meat.

I thought that was unrivalable until now.

A Man on the South Side of Chicago was arrested after allegedly GIVING A WOMAN A PILE DRIVER during a dispute. The 46 year old Victor Velasco was arguing with his 50 year-old, female, and after punching her in the face, he picked her up, upside-down, put her head betwixt his legs and gave her a pile-driver (all allegedly).

Classy.

That's Brisk Baby

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



For some reason I still think about this commercial about once a week.

Holy Crap Hillary Made a HUGE Wardrobe Mistake While Promoting Diplomacy

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


What the HELL? Who the hell thought this was a good idea??? This is Hillary arriving in Bangkok on Tuesday rocking the Guantanamo Chic Look. I guess you could say it's a VERY unfortunate Git(mo) up. (hold all the applause for the end, please).

The AP report of this says that "...the administration of President Barack Obama thinks it's time to show Asian nations that the United States is not distracted by its wars in Iraq and Afghanistan."

Really? What better way to make foreign nations forget about our war and use of possibly undesirable/illegal information gathering than by dressing EXACTLY like an Gitmo detainee. Why not a Saddam Hussein outfit with a fake mustache, or a Bin Laden hat and fake beard and that dude burkha he wears?

I'd rather my Secretary of State show up dressed like a JJ Fad, than a Gitmo detainee. And it isn't like I'm the only person that thinks she looks like a detainee. I think that's the first thing everyone thought when they saw it.

Terrible.

Which White Guy is Barack Obama Most Alike? Tune in to Find out!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I have blogged before about how I am sick of the Obama/Abe Lincoln comparisons. At the beginning of the Obama administration, we as news-consumers were also beaten over the head with comparisons to FDR. Today the HuffingtonPosts banner headline is "Dwight D. Obama" and shows a picture of Obama and Eisenhower. 20 seconds after seeing that headline, I turned on my television to see CNN running the headline "Obama vs. Napoleon- is healthcare Obama's Waterloo?".

Did George Bush draw as many comparisons? Did he draw any? What makes Obama so comparable? He seems to be wholly unique- among world leaders and especially among United States Presidents. His father was born in Africa, he's bi-racial, he was raised in Hawaii and the Philippines, he was the first black editor of Harvard Law Review, he was raised in a single-parent home, after graduating as arguably the most distinguished law student in the country (as editor of the HLR) he turned down guaranteed riches in order to community-build in Chicago. I'd say that makes him unlike other presidents.

When Obama wanted to overhaul infrastructure, similar to what FDR did with the new deal, why can't they say, "He seems to think like an FDR-style Democrat", or "Apparently, Obama is looking to leave new infrastructure as a legacy"? Why is it phrased "Obama is the new FDR?"? When he tries mentions a desire to engage in dialogue with enemy states, he must be just like Lincoln, who brought together the North and South.

The media wants to make Obama's character the sum of his policies- It isn't that he thinks like these men, it's that he IS like them. While past leaders like Roosevelt, FDR, Kennedy, Churchill, and to a lesser extent, Clinton- were free to be men of multi-tiered complexity, whose blending of talents, foibles and quirks were unique and likely never to be seen again- Obama is relegated to comparisons with people who have come before him. It's not that he possess traits XY and Z, it's that he's kinda like other guys who also have XY and Z between them.

So, again, why all the comparisons? Didn't George Bush have more in common with previous leaders, as a white, child of privilege turned politician? Why no comparisons to JFK or John Quincy Adams?

I can only assume it's racially based. My guess is that the underlying assumption is that the news makers feel that America as a whole has some kind of skepticism about who this black character REALLY is. So my conclusion is that the news media either, A) feel this way themselves or, B) they feel that the news consumers feel this way.

My question to the media then is: Which is it, A or B? The majority of us in the U.S. voted for him, so you'd think it could be assumed that we have an ok idea of who he is, what he is like and what he is about. Apparently the news media feels that white people can't understand who a black man is, and we need some kind of analogy to understand.

"So tell me all about this colored President Obama. I can't seem to make sense of him."
"He is like Abraham Lincoln kinda, except for Obama is a black version."
"Ohhhhhhh. I see."

I think most Americans would rather answer the question of, "Who the hell exactly was George Bush ?" than, "Who is this new Obama fellow?". Obama actually won the majority of votes and has an approval rating above 50%- I'd say America's mind is made up about him. Let's find some actual news to report instead of implicitly playing into America's perceived racial paranoia. Paranoid infotainment is not making any Americans more intelligent or tolerant.

The Biggest Sellout Job Possible

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I laughed my buns off when I read this. In order to cultivate a Hispanic voter base to rival Obama's in 2012, Newt Gringrich is, wait for it, (don't take a sip of any beverage until you read the rest)....

Tweeting in Spanish.

Some people view that as pandering, but I really don't. I think he'd do that on his own anyway regardless of whether Hispanics lived in our country or not. I think that's something Newt would do anyway. That's just Newt being Newt.

Apparently the adage, "People with enormous faces never pander via Twitter." is not true.

Now if he can only get his mother to Tweet @ConnieChung, that Newt thinks Sarah Palin is a puta.

Best Writer in Chicago

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The only things I know about Chicago that are remotely "insidery" are things I parrot from the Chicago Reader's Ben Joravsky, Chicago's most important writer.

I just realized today that he does a weekly webcast where he does a brief Q&A about his newest weekly political feature. The nuts and bolts of it, is that he's the best informed, most consistent, and most forthright Mayor Quimby Daley watchdog that we have. And no one needs a watchdog moreso than Mayor Quimby Daley.

Particularly important is his work about Chicago's Olympic bid (he's staunchly against it, out of distrust for Mayor Daley, not because he's a stick-in-the-mud), Chicago's parking meter leasing fiasco, and our less-than-awesome TIF/slush funds for Mayor Daley.

So if you sorta want to see what's going on in Chicago politics, but you don't feel like spending much time doing so, that podcast is a great place to start.

T. Wat. Left me Wanting More on Sunday ...

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

....when he bogeyed 18 then fell apart in the playoff.

Best Spam Email I've Ever Got

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Checked my Spam folder today just to make sure that I hadn't missed any emails that got kicked there today and found a Doozie.

The name said it was from Neef and the email's subject was, "Eunuch". The when I opened the email, I saw the emailer's email address was in fact, "chanukah@XXXX.com". Then the body of the email was, an email directing where I can find "orgasm secrets".

The saddest part was when I initially saw the email I thought, "I have no idea who Neef is. But a friend of mine would definitely title an email, 'Eunuch'. Maybe this email is from a friend's new email account or someone I haven't heard from in a while." then I clicked on it.

TR Salutes Harland Williams

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com





joke @ the 4:00 mark of the below video is outstandingly crude.
















I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Ok, Beat THIS Caption

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I was thinking of going with, "You got nowhere to go, but up, little fella. Literally, and figuratively in your life."

But I decided to make it less PC while paraphrasing Dumb and Dumber- "Wait, isn't the bible filled with parables about the gentleness of lambs? That Jesus Christ is full of shit, man."

Beat This Caption

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I was thinking either, "Wiener Mobile Crashes in Wisconsin" or maybe something hilarious like, "More like Wiener-IMmobile!".

What's that? You were thinking of making a double entendre regarding a sex pun? I don't get it. How? Ohhhhhhhhh. Ok, let me try again.

"Remember when that chick at the bar threw a drink in my face and said it would be like throwing a hot dog in a garage? Exactly. By the way, I got fired for that comment."

How to Turn Your Global Warming Skepticism Into Cash

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Statistics guru Nate Silver is offering a bet to anyone global warming deniers willing to put dey money where dey me-owf be at.

You could come betwixt Nate and his Silver! Hi-ooooo.

The Worst News Headline That I see Every Week

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I've sounded off before about the "duh" nature of the commonly seen, "Middle East Peace Talks Fail", but that at least is news with some merit, even if it is predictable. But there is a new headline that I've been seeing more and more of that is as inane as it is, self-perpetuating.

"Oldest Person In the World Dies"

Who the fuck is going to care about that? No one knows or cares who the current oldest living person is, so who is going to care when they die? Furthermore, what could be less surprising news? Why not just say, "Most likely person to die, dies"? or, "Most Predictable Death Possible Occurs"?

Is the well-being of the oldest living person really anyone's hot-button topic? We all know someone who has a specific thing they look for in the newspaper- Sports, Obituaries, comics, political news, real estate news, the stock prices, etc. Is anyone's primary concern, or intellectual curiousity really how the oldest person in the world is doing?

Why just people? Why stop there? How about headlines like, "Most dilapidated old barn in Indiana collapses", "Makeshift tree fort made in the 1970's that has been rotting and ignored since 1978 finally falls apart", or "Worlds oldest newspaper clipping so yellow and crinkley that it's unreadable", or "World's oldest transistor radio stops working"? Why aren't those newsworthy?

Short of a scientific or mathematical certainty, what could possibly be more predictable/less surprising/less news worthy than "Oldest Person In the World Dies"? Is that appreciably more entertainingg or surprising than, "Ball Thrown Upward, Lands"?

And besides, it's called the news not the olds. HELLO-OOOOO.

Walter Cronkite

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

One thing I haven't heard about Walter Cronkite yet is his similarity to Johnny Carson.

They will forever be historically similar (whether history pairs them or not) as the last famous men to be the only show in town in their respective fields.

Cronkite WAS the news back then. Him and your local newspaper, and maybe the your local news, was the only news you knew. Oh, and maybe the odd magazine you picked up. Such news bottle-necking will never again be repeated. The internet and cable news have ensured that. But it wasn't just that he was the only show in town- he was also phenomenal at his job. If he were on today, he'd still be a success, there would just be other options, and the nation's conscious wouldn't run through him alone.

Johnny Carson was the same. He was the only show in town. Back then there wasn't a comedy central, or the internet, or comedy DVDs, or even Comedy VHS. There wasn't much political comedy at the time, and if Carson wasn't acting as the nation's satirical watchdog, who was? No one else was doing the kind of show that he was doing. Furthermore, he had little competition. If you were watching TV at 10:30, he was the only entertaining show on. It wasn't that he was the only show in town per se- he was also phenomenal at his job. If he were on today, he'd still be a success, there would just be other options and the nation's conscious wouldn't run through him alone.

And that's why they'll always be linked. At least to me.

Just Please Stop

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Forgive my ghetto stem and leaf graph, but you get the idea. A better version can be found here.
Each X represents a Major Tournament victor by Tiger Woods in that year (of a possible four). (The "I" is supposed to be a dividing line. I said it was ghetto.)

1997 I X
1998 I
1999 I X
2000I XXX
2001 I X
2002 I XX
2003 I
2004 I
2005 I XX
2006 I XX
2007 I X
2008 I X
2009 I


Tiger Woods missed the cut at the British Open. Before you accuse me of hubris- I think he's an amazing person/competitor/athlete. I think that he and Michael Jordan stand alone in their intense competitive spirit in the modern American sports age. *deep exhalation*

That being said. I'm sick of all of this adulation. I understand that sports make money thorough the marketing of stars, and he's a transcendent star in a mostly, yawn-inducing sport. But enough. From 2001-2006, he was on pace to shatter every golf record and sprint across the threshold of the Jack Nicklaus- "Best Golfer Ever" Finish Line and keep on sprinting, only to finish at an unachievable endpoint. But now, it looks as though he'll walk across that line, hands on hips, and will peter out not far after.

I'm sick of Tigermania. It's over. It was over, I was just the only one that admitted it. I still think he's the best golfer ever, just not by the same margin people used to think. He's very, very good. And that is all. No longer relevant are the questions, "Who will win this upcoming tournament- Tiger, or the field?". Maybe we should start paying more collective attention to who all entails this "Field" entity, since they've won 21 of the last 27 majors.

Tigermania has been overly-genuflective for a long time now, but it became unbearable over Father's Day weekend when I learned that Tiger is the only human to ever admire, much less love, his father. That notion was re-jack hammered into my skull a month later when Tiger hosted his own tournament, which he won. Tiger's cool, his dad's cool, you're cool, I'm cool. But please stop.

Nothing against Tiger- he's a great golfer and the guy loves his dad- both good things. But the old, unathletic whitey bastards who comprise the media are offensively all-too-eager to lick the floor Tiger spits on.

I'll say it. I'm glad he missed the cut at the British Open. I DO care who wins the British Open- even without him- Take that Jim Nantz, and everyone who has ever been on ESPN. I never pick Tiger over The Field. I am ok with golf, but not it's current separatist banter.

I admitted it long ago whitey media, you'd be wise to learn from me: The Tiger Woods that you think about while you tell teary-eyed tales, cross-legged, while sipping your white zinfandel in your Ashworth shirts, no longer exists. The man lives, still golfs and plays well, but allow me to be your own Friedrich Nietzsche, and sober you opiated mass: Your God Is Dead.

Oh, and do I need to apologize for being the only person in American that remembers that Tiger's Ryder Cup record is 7-11-2?

The WhereAwesomeHappens Homage to Popurls

(I chose that picture at Random from my WAH folder)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

As I've mentioned before, and linked in my margin, the site http://popurls.com/. If you don't recall me mentioning it, you've seen my links to it before. Anyway, I thought I'd send a link from each of my favorite websites today.

HuffingtonPost (my homepage): Walter Cronkite (I almost typed "Croakite" but didn't) pics
runner up: Hot Rod Blagojevich gets radio host gig

Freakonomics: Swoopo seems kinda awesome.

ChicagoTribune: The Chicago rail system gets $$ and expects improvements

Gawker: Blind Items I read them everyday. It's a guilty pleasure, and I'm guilty. And pleasurable pleased.

DailyRacingForm: This weekend had some dominant performances

Deadspin: Erin Andrews Attorney speaks about a video that I didn't see that I wished I had, that was posted on a website whose editor I know. (It might help to read this one first)

TheYBF.com (note that it is NOT TheyBF.com. I was disappointed to learn that as well): YBF Exclusive Interview: Maxwell

DrudgeReport: A female dog is nursing abandoned Pandas in China.
(also liked: Cop doesn't like iPhone App that helps iPhone App users avoid cop checkpoints.)

FMyLife: Maybe women really are bad drivers.

BattingStanceGuy.com: The whole website

Jezebel: What if Pixar made the new Where The Wild Things Are movie?

BBC: Former Iranian President calls for release of jailed protesters
runner up: jogger attacked by a buzzard

Mediaite: Does the NYT hold Maureen Dowd to a different, lower standard?

Wired: 10 most dangerous foods to eat while driving.

The Big Lead: Pacman Jones Making it Rain Video

Indexed: Fireworks and Kisses, charted

FiveThirtyEight.com: The Global Obama Effect Considered, and Charted

The MemoryPalace: High Societies

TheDailyBeast: ArtBeast

WhereAwesomeHappens: Michael Jackson Did the White Man's Overbite
runner up: Chuck E. Cheese Band covering Usher

Mutton Busted

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You know how I knew you were a failure of a parent? When I learned this was your kid.

Congratulations, Mutton of the world.

More Salvador Dali Coolness

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Ya know what goes well with a Salvador Dali YouTube clip? Weed.

Ya got some?

This is Kinda Awesome

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You've never done anything this visually cool- offense (as opposed to "no offense").

You can check out more of your shortcomings, and more of this cool shadow art, here.

Thanks for Coming out, Berman.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


No one likes Chris Berman, so I'll just get right down to it.

1)TMZ has a funny video of Berman feeling snubbed because people wanted Evan Longoria's autograph, but no one asked for Berman's or genuflected at him or his celebrity status. It's almost like Berman forgot that Longoria was the 2008 American League Rookie of the Year and World Series participant, and Berman is the guy who's job it is to talk about him.

You can't blame Berman though- it isn't like he's a pompous ballbag or anything. I was always shocked when women wanted to date Liam Gallagher over Kurt Loder. Don't they realize that Kurt's job is to chronicle Liam?? What the hell?


2) Berman got called out trying to pick up an ESPY's trophy girl. Didn't she realize he's a fatter, balder, louder, and probably older, sports version of Kurt Loder???

Who Wins the Better Sheep Riding Contest: Mini Goat or Kids?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com




Or....




Answer: Humanity.


update: The Trib posted this article from the LA Times today about "Mutton Busting", or "little kid sheep rodeo" as you may know it.

Another Great Matt Taibi Article on Goldman Sachs

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This time he's talking about Goldman's huge quarterly profits, and how they should be considered ill-gotten gains at best, and at worst, property of the US Government.

This article praises Taibbi's work and echos antitrust sentiment regarding Goldman.

update: This article about Goldman Sachs also makes some really interesting points. This one too.

Redneck Games

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You had me at "Armpit farts". Click here for a slideshow of pics, including this one.

Told ya.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

When I thought in February that Facebook would eventually launch their own version of Twitter I was correct.

According to InsideFacebook, they have reason to believe that Facebook is working on a Twitter app thingy, where you can post a Tweet directly from your Facebook page.

If that's the case I guess my prophecy isn't 100% correct, since I thought Facebook would launch their own version of Twitter, but this is still pretty close.