Showing posts with label Chicago News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chicago News. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Chicago 2016

By: T.R. Slyder,

I took that picture myself. Pretty cool, huh? Well, I took it from this page all by myself. History scholars will note that the fountain pictured there is indeed Buckingham Fountain, which was made famous in the intro of Married With Children.

When asked what the French Delegation of the IOC thought of the cityscape's 2016 motif he said "Eet iz very, how you say, a-shiny"

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Why I Love LSD

By: T.R. Slyder,

Lake Shore Drive. Not the hallucinogen. Not sure if this is an old ditty or a nudity new ditty, but I kinda like it.

I also don't know a thing about the trio that performs this song. But I'd bet that at least one of them is 1) a dude, and, 2) Is bald with a ponytail. I'd be pretty bummed out if that weren't the case.

Update: I just saw this video too. Same song, different video. Since you're probably wondering- I live about 4 blocks to the West (or to the right, in that POV) from where it's shot at the :40 mark. I think this video is more entertaining, but also a bit more likely to induce nausea.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Chicago AM News

By: T.R. Slyder,

To quote R. Kelly: Belie'e me mang, this is how them playas do it in the Chi...

It's a slow Chicago newsday today.

The Chicago Marathon goes down tomorrow. Let's hope it isn't the debacle that it was last year.

Bar Louie in the West Loop has more rats than is permissible.

This hurt me very badly. On the inside. Walter E. Smithe, a Chicago furniture store made this commercial for when the Cubs won the World Series this year. If you are dying to know more info about it, click here, but it's pretty self explanatory. The video is below.

That's kind of it.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Chicago News: 10/9

By: T.R. Slyder,

Trial for defrocked priest gets underway. He was originalyl defrocked by the diocese because he defrocked himself and de-pants'd a little boy. In light of all the sex-abuse scandals, I think it's time to change the euphemism of "defrocked" to "kicked out of priesthood" or something less pun-friendly.

Funny how after Blagovich gives free CTA rides to seniors, he has to raise prices for everyone else. Total coincidence.

While discussing the Icelandic Economy's near collapse, the Trib. outclasses several other media outlets and avoids the "Icelandic Meltdown" pun. Way to go Trib. When you pay the extra $.25 to buy the Tribune and not the Sun-Times, what's the extra charge for? Dignity.

Mayor Daley panders to the masses by expressing his desire to fire the lazy garbagemen featured in yesterday's shocking Sun-Times expose about lazy city workers. So PLEASE don't tell him that I was late in posting my Weng Weng Wednesday post yesterday!

When you publicly belittle a planetarium's projector, be prepared to deal with geek wrath! He's looking at you John McCain (through thick, heavily taped glasses with a strap around the back).

The privitazation of Midway Airport got its finalization on.

Bears DT Tommie Harries explains why he was habitually tardy to team functions, often fined, and injury-prone: Lack of Jesus, duh. Does that count as a sack for Jesus? I hope so.

Cubs and White Sox tv color-announcers share their feelings on their teams' early playoff exits
. Ron Santo is disappointed and will wait until next year. Hawk Harrelson dealt with it in his own way: by lying to himself and not respectingthe Sox opponent. You can put "Denial" onnnn the boooooard, YES!

To Do Tonight: TV Re-Runs! A Very "Special" Halloween. An uptown neighborhood bar/lounge place will hold selected readings from Halloween Special favorites of yesteryear.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Chicago 10/7 AM News Roundup

By: T.R. Slyder,

University of Chicago does it again- Another professor of theirs has won a Nobel Prize. Yoichiro Nambu won half of a nobel prize, for his role in discovering something called spontaneous broken symmetry in subatomic physics. I mean, I'd known about those for years (we'd call them SBS for short), but I never told anyone about them for fear of sounding like a heretic.

Today is the last day to register to vote. Technically. For info on how to register, get your click here on. Unless your vote will cancel out my vote. Then it's probably best you stayed unregistered.

An image of the CTA bus shooter/murderer. I hope authorities are able to catch him at his job at the Disgusting Coat Store. That dude picked himself out a real winner.

The White Sox are doing the cry-and-wap alongside the Cubs now after their loss last night at US Cellular.

Guess which of the two city newspapers is providing a downloadable bingo card, to de-intellectualize the debates?? How did you know it was the Sun-Times? Um, nice guess. I hope the Red Eye follows suit and make a drinking game.... Tonight's debates is at Belmont University. If that name sounds familiar to you it's because they're one of the NCAA teams that is a 16th seed every three years along with Rider, Mount Saint Marys, Sienna, Iona, American, and Mouthy Bobs Oral Roberts.

R. Kelly was awarded $3.4 million in a settlement against a former tour promoter. Since only the loot can make him happy, he'll most likely be having a party at the Rock n Roll McDonalds to celebrate. After the party it's the after-party, and after that it's the hotel lobby, where he will have you singin' like a mocking bird. Word.

Here's what Metromix says is going on today

Monday, October 6, 2008

Going Chicago Style

By: T.R. Slyder,

For this week I thought I'd take this site in a nude erection new direction. I realized that Chicago doesn't have a great, hip website to talk about Chicago. I don't need to re-invent the wheel, put the arms on the Venus di Milo, gild the lilly, or use cliches, just get some Chicago news out there in one site. I hope you all enjoy my nude erection new direction. So we'll see how it goes.

I even booked Kanye West for the launch party. (you can see the actual video here)

AM Chicago News Roundup

The big non-sports news of the weekend is that a 17 year old girl was killed on the far south side. She was killed while riding a CTA bus, the victim of crossfire that occurred ON THE BUS between two of the worst people ever. Great jobs guys.

In pervert-related news: Authorities have learned that a sick, sick bastard man in a clown suit has been approaching schoolchildren in East Garfield Park as they walk to and from school. Granted, that is shocking news. But here's what isn't shocking- the kind of vehicle he drives: You guessed it. A van.

Blagojevich is the slimiest politician ever. And he still looks like the lovechild of Steve Carrell and Janet Reno (proof here).

The Trib. ran this list of the hotels where celebrities stay when they visit the Chi. I'd say the Trump International still has a ways to go before it catches up with the Peninsula.

Mayor Daley's proposed 99-year, privatized lease of Midway Airport is up for its first vote today. If passed this would raise $2.52 billion. If the bill were to be passed, most of the money would have to go toward infrastructure or pension obligations, and would leave roughly $100 to be spent however he wishes. And by "however he wishes", of course I mean "on the Olympic bid"

During a 5k Run in Bucktown, 137 cars were towed and the towees are complaining that there were no signs telling them that they couldn't park.

Police on high alert at Foreman High today after Friday's classes ended early from rampant violence resulting in 24 arrests. "Nearly a dozen officers, along with a patrol wagon." I can't believe they didn't just call it the Paddy Wagon. You don't the chance to say "paddy wagon" everyday, so you have to take advantage of it whenever you can. Paddy wagon.

Random Chicago Links

Things look good for Obama according to this really interesting political site.

Do you hate your Time Warner cable service? Then you'll enjoy this.

Why the price of your weed has gone up

Today's Chicago Events

Ghost tours are underway in the second city.

Chicago Art Open at the Merchandise Mart begins today

See the original scroll on whichJack Keruouc wrote On the Road. Bonus points if you can name the two Chicago streets mentioned in that book. (Answer: Clark and Halsted. I get bonus points)

Wine tasting on one of the streets mentioned in On the Road. The D.O.C. offers a bi-weekly wine tasting and tonight is the night. Just to avoid any confusing "a bi-weekly tasting" is MUCH different than a "bi weakly tasting". I found that out the hard way.

The rest of the Metromix list for things to do today can be found here

The Chicago Reader's Early Warnings of upcoming music concerts and gigs.

Hi-Tops is open again. This time in Lincoln Park by DePaul. Finally, a place for kids to binge drink in Lincoln Park.

Previously in Chicago News:

Girl in Elgin, IL. had to remove her Kosuke Fukudome jersey, because it could be construed as foul language. Good to know the cosmopolitans in Elgin have a healthy respect for global integration. Oh, and ignorance of their hometown team. Foreigners can be sooo foul!

Thank God! CTA prices may finally go UP. I was sick of paying only $2.00, anyway.

The city is expected to ban texting while driving. If enforcing the ban on talking on your phone's handset is any indication, this will be enforced at least 7 times a year.

Classes were dismissed at 1 pm at Foreman high on Friday. Why? Because there were so many fights that 24 students were arrested, and the school was deemed unsafe.

In related news, Chicago Public Schools PSAT scores are down. Funny coincidence.