By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
A few years ago, while living in Saratoga Springs, NY I had a few friends in town for the weekend. Tim R., Tim S., Cliff and Joe. We'd been drinking all day at the track since we brought in a fifth of bourbon mixed in with a two-liter of coke. Since they aren't the hugest racing fans, I kept trying to keep them interested in the featured race that day, The Sword Dancer. The more boozey and tired they got, the more I reminded them that they just needed to hold it together for another race or two and we'd be at the feature where we'd see the best race in America that day, then we could go home and put some steaks on the grill.
That plan was working pretty well until Cliff and Joe got up to use the restroom an hour before the feature. They never came back. My house was about 5 blocks from the track and they knew where the secret key was so, they knew well how to get back. So we noticed they'd be gone forever and had talked about going back, so we called their phones. No answer. We just assumed they went home. Upon returning home, we discovered we were right.
We walked in the door, through the kitchen to find Cliff passed out sloppily on the couch in the family room. At least we knew where they were. No sign of Joe downstairs. Since Tim S.'s room was on the first floor, he went to his room for a bit while Tim R. and I proceeded upstairs to our rooms. I go to my room which I wasn't sharing with anyone, and watched Tim R. go to his room which he wasn't sharing with anyone. I watch Tim open the door, lower his head, proceed in, then spin a 180 on his heels and walk directly back. It looked like he walked in on something he was not meant to see.
He looks up, sees me and starts laughing hysterically. I look quizically and he says, "Go have a look in there. I found Joe."
Since Joe had obviously passed out in the wrong room, it was pretty funny, so I walked in to have a look at 100% nude-as-a-newborn Joe on Tim's bed. Wait, what? Yes, Joe was completely naked and laying on top of Tim's bed. No covers, no clothing,
no problem. Thank Baby Jesus he was lying face down. Feeling bad for a guy who had obviously been over-served, Tim and I took pictures of Joe's naked buns.
Eventually we realized Joe's rationale for choosing Tim's bed over his (Tim's room had air conditioning), the pictures made the rounds and we stopped tease Joe about it every at least once a week. Yesterday I was talking to him and we were talking about something that was stupid I casually inserted, "Yeah, kinda like the time you passed out balls-nude on Tim's bed.". To which Joe responded with a sigh, "That really was my Chappaquiddick."
I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.
Thursday, August 27, 2009