What Kind of Drinker Are You?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

According to Consultant Psychologist Dr. Glenn Wilson, how you hold your glass while imbibing says a lot about who you are. After observing 500 drinkers, he broke them down into the 8 types listed above.

After you've found your type, click the link and see what it says about you. You must be so excited to meet yourself finally!

As a someone with a degree in Psychology, I'm a sucker for these kinds of things and tend to believe in them more strongly than others. I do have a bit of an issue with Dr. Wilson's hypotheses and that is that he didn't address one's ability to change. For instance, if I'm out with good friends at a bar I don't frequent then I'm definitely the Jack the Lad type. But if I'm in relatively mixed company, or have to play more of a role of a host, I'm definitely The Fun Lover. But I still thought the research was interesting.

This Summer's Club Banger

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

It's a rap by two white bastards in suits about their conservative views and Jesusophilia. It has "Club banger" written ALL over it.

Big ups to my man upstairs on the 1s and 2s, Mr. JC.!




If there's one thing I love more than crap rap from Juvenile and Wax-a-million, it's whitefolk
rapping about their love of Jesus. It's awesome 100% of the time.


Speaking of summer hits...

You know you can't help but keep a running list of your favorite summertime songs?

Mine has:

"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
"Summertime" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
"April 26, 1992" by Sublime
"Homecoming" by Kanye
"Turn Me On" by Kevin Lyttle
"Here Comes Your Man" by the Pixies
"Scar Tissue" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
"The Party Song" by Blink182
"Warehouse" by Dave Matthews Band
"Dip it Low" by Christina Milian
"Addicted" by Amy Winehouse
"Regulate" by Warren G
"Fantastic Voyage" by Coolio
"GZ and Hustlas" by Snoop Doggy Dogg, the bonus track from Snoop's Doggystle
"Don't Cry" and "You Could Be Mine" by Guns and Roses
"Miami Shit" by Pitbull
"Feel Good, Inc." by Gorillaz
"Shake Down" by Akon
"Drug Ballad" by Eminem
"Home Alone" by R. Kelly feat. Keith Murray
"Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani
"Mr. Brightside" by the Killers
"Rock DJ" by Robbie Williams
"The Irony of It All" and "Weak Become Heroes" by the Streets
"No Scrubs" by TLC
"Anywhere" by 112
"Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol
"She's Crafty" by the Beastie Boys
"Right Thurr" by Chingey
"100 Miles and Runnin'" by NWA
"My Neck, My Back" by Khia
"Love at First Sight" by Kylie Minogue
"Bad Babysitter" by Princess Supastar and the High & Mighty
"What's it Gonna Be" by Busta Rhymes and Janet Jackson
"Don't Talk Just Kiss" by Right Said Fred
"Romeo's Tune" by Steve Forbert
"Ecstasty" by Rusted Root
"Roll up and Shine" by Stereohonics
"Simple Kind of Man" by Lynyrd Skynrd
"Ayo Technology" by 50 Cent and Justin Timberlake
"That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain
"Frank Sinatra" by Miss Kitten and the Hacker
"Sexual" by Amber
"Imigrrante" by Tanghetto
"Last Night" and "Hard to Explain" by the Strokes
"Take California" by the Propellerheads
"Got Glint" by the Chemical Brothers,
"She's Electric", "Cigarettes and Alcohol" and "Morning Glory" by Oasis
"Disco Science" by Mirwais
"99 Problems" by Jay-Z
"Knee Deep [Midnight Mix]" George Clinton and Digital Underground
"Don't Stop What You're Doing" by Puff Daddy and the Family
"Bop Gun" by George Clinton featuring Ice Cube
"Take me Out" by Franz Ferdinand
"Girl From Ipanema" and "Nancy" by Frank Sinatra, to name a few)

Most songs correspond with one specific summer, and if you think hard enough every summer has at least one song that you'll always associate with that specific summer.

Well, I have 2009's. You heard it hear first.

The Cubs May Not Be Getting Sold Afterall. Sonofa....

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I hope the Cubs get sold to the Ricketts family. This news is pretty non-bodacious.

Update: It looks like the sticking point is the contracts of broadcasting rights. Since Wrigley is too old/historic to renovate/overhaul, the revenue garnered from game attendance is relatively fixed. So the owners would have to squeeze all the money out of broadcasting rights that it possibly could. That then puts a premium for the Ricketts family on getting an acceptable valuation of the Cubs media outlets- therein lies the problem. The Cubs' partial ownership of CSN and ownership of WGN tv and radio have created a very costly gray area in that process.

Dumb Stuff I Hate

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Not all dumb stuff is inherently bad. But this stuff is.

1) When people, though it seems like sports debaters do this most often, ask whether or not something "can" happen. Examples are, "Can Cleveland force a game 7 against the Magic?", or "Can the Cubs reach the NLCS this season?". The question is not "will" they, but "can" they. That's the problem.

There is no way to incorrectly answer that question. If you say that the Cubs "can" and later they do that, you are of course correct. Conversely, if you say they can and they do not, you aren't absolutely wrong: they still could have, they just didn't; just like how I could have went jogging at 5:30 am this morning. Could I have? Definitely. Did I? No. If last night I asked you, "could I go jogging tomorrow at 5:30 am tomorrow?" and you answered yes, you still wouldn't be wrong. All you confirmed was a possibility.

So the only way to answer a "can" question wrong is to say "no" then have that action occur. So what is the incentive for answering in the negative? None.

The "can" question obviously makes for lousy television or radio, or any form of entertainment. So why do they keep asking it?



2) Another common stupid comment I have yet to hear anyone rebut in the media. Namely, when defending an athlete against a steroid allegation the defender's rationale is, "No way he's on steroids- that guy works out ALL THE TIME. No way he took steroids."

Right. Let's go over how you get extremely muscular from steroids use again.

1) You ingest steroids.
2) You work out all the time.

So when accuser Y says "I think that athlete did action 1 (as shown above)", defendant X feels t a cogent defense would be, "No way he did 1 because he performs action #2!".

With that putrid logic, two things must necessarily be true: 1) working out without steroids can get you as big as fast as working out with them, and 2) It's possible to take steroids, not workout, and still get huge.

Phrased another way, that's like saying, "There's no way Michael Jackson molested that kid, he loves kids!"

Pre-Gamin'

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

So I'm waiting for Dirty Driving: Thundercars of Indiana to start up and I'm sitting through the last part of Almost Famous. The main character/kid/Cameron Crowe character is definitely the kid of Kevin Arnold and the kid from Dazed and Confused.























A round-faced, goody two-shoes stoner.

I Forgot This Song Existed, Until I Remembered it Existed

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Good luck getting the hook of this jumpoff* out of your head.


* denotes- I'm not sure if I used that word correctly, but I went for it anyway. You regret the things you don't do in life.

Improv Everyone- One Hell of a Model Group of Americans

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I'm not all that familiar with much of their stuff, but I like knowing they exist. My sister showed me this video a few months ago and I just now decided to post it (not sure what caused the delay). Anyway, it's awesome and the placards are worth pausing on and reading.



I think that I kinda invented this though. I've been taking a flask full of booze with me wherever I go for years. That way, whenever I pull it out I feel like I'm at a party or some kind of convivial social event- much like how the champagne was deftly used in this piece. Is it kinda lame, am I a douchebag, or do I secretly think I'm awesome? Nooo.....noooo.......and yes!

Tom Durkin Interview

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You probably have to be a horse racingophile to appreciate this video, but I'm posting it anyway. TheBloodhorse.com is now featuring an entertaining interview with Belmont Stakes (among other races and tracks) announcer, Tom Durkin (whom I previously saluted). They talk about his preparation, strategies and do go over a few specific calls.

The most fascinating tidbit was when Durkin said that he was so confident that Smarty Jones would win the Belmont that the night before the race, he went down to the track and measured out 31 lengths, by hand, from the wire and put a piece of red tape against the rail to mark it. That distance is significant in Belmont Stakes history because it's the biggest margin of victory ever at that race, and was done by Secretariat. There is also another good image of it here.

God Exists And He Loves Him Some Racin'- Whoo Heidi

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The most awesome WT Documentary I've ever seen will be on HBO, Friday, 5/29 at 2am Central Time. In other words, in 3 hours from this posting. You just have to watch it.

THE FOLLOWING IS A REPOST



I had my Chakras aligned last night, shoot I tell you what. I did me some of the best remote-a-handlin' I ever did do, shoot. If you like that internet reading you can read you up on some of dat right here. And if you found that fancy, you might be a happy camper to read this here to boot.

It's called Dirty Driving: Thundercars of Indiana, but I'd also believe those cars came straight from heaven.

Man that documentary was radical. My only regret was that I didn't grow up closer to it, I was a good hour and 45 minutes away. Maybe I'll get 'em next life time.

I HIGHLY recommend that documentary to anyone who like stuff that is: 1) Awesome, 2) Sweet, 2) Cool, 3) Great, and or 4) Mega-bodacious. Great slice of Americana and a great slice of, well, numbers 1-4 as mentioned above. If your idea ratio of Shakesepearean quotations to uses of the word "cocksucker" is roughly in the 0 : 1,600 (pronounced "16 hun-erd") range, then this documentary is for you, you sumbitch.

Bad News for Fellow Saratoga Race Course Junkies

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Of all the awesome old dudes in the last 15 years Harvey Pack is on Mount Olympus, ruling benevolently along with Harry Caray, Burgess Meredith's character from Grumpy Old Men, John Wooden, Bill Russell, Buck O'neil, George Carlin, all the WWII veterans/commenters from Band of Brothers, and Art Donovan.

(I hijacked this article from here.)

NEW YORK, NY, April 2, 2009 -- Daily Racing Form today announced that Harvey Pack is retiring as the longtime host of DRF’s popular daily Saratoga handicapping seminars, which is ending its 17-year run at Siro’s restaurant, and that DRF has entered into a strategic partnership with the New York Racing Association to sponsor and provide analysts for an expanded and reformatted “Talking Horses” for the Saratoga race meet.

“Talking Horses, Presented by Daily Racing Form” will be conducted in a live audience format in 2009. The popular longstanding daily television show will be extended to 45 minutes, 11:45 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. every racing day and broadcast live in the Carousel Restaurant facing the grandstand backyard. Scratches and changes have been moved to 11:40 am to allow the live program to be broadcast uninterrupted on all on-track monitors.

The new 3-person format will include a NYRA host (Eric Donovan or Jason Blewitt), NYRA co-host Andy Serling and a Daily Racing Form guest daily. DRF guests will include Steve Crist, Dave Grening, Dan Illman, Dave Litfin, Mike Watchmaker, and others.

“The Daily Racing Form’s handicapping seminars at Siro’s have been one of the great traditions of the Saratoga race meet,” NYRA President and CEO Charles Hayward said. “It won’t be the same without the legendary Harvey Pack, but we are thrilled with the opportunity to bring the DRF seminars on track and to combine our respective resources of talent and broadcast capabilities.”

The 82-year-old Pack, who resides in New York City with his wife Joy, cited family considerations for his decision not to return to Saratoga Springs for the annual six-week summer race meet. He had hosted the DRF seminars since 1999, reviving a tradition he began as the longtime host of “The Paddock Club” at the track and the “Thoroughbred Action” television show. If his family situation allows, Harvey is considering a cameo appearance as “Talking Horses” host early in August.

“The DRF seminars at Siro’s was a great gig,” said Pack. “The audiences responded to every joke and were all fans for many years. I want to thank everyone involved for a great ten years. I leave you with Little Andy (Serling), my last and best gift to racing.”

“We were saddened when Harvey told us that he could no longer come to Saratoga for the meet,” said Crist, DRF’s publisher. “We briefly considered alternative hosts but quickly concluded that no one could ever adequately replace Harvey. While it’s the end of an era for those of us involved with the DRF seminars, we’re excited about our new partnership with NYRA and hope to preserve the spirit of the seminars.”

“Talking Horses, Presented by Daily Racing Form” will be open to the public. Fans that are not on-track will be able to watch and listen to the show live on www.nyra.com and www.drf.com/saratoga.

The Stoning of Soraya M.- The New Conservative Focus Group?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I heard about a free movie being shown at the independent movie theater three blocks from my apartment, so I decided to check it out. Its called The Stoning of Soraya M. and its a true story adapted from a book of the same name. In order to be able to attend the free screening I had to click here to RSVP to be allowed in.

Being that the movie was free I didn't mind jumping through a few hoops for a minute or two. But I was surprised to see its overt Christian overtone because the movie is about egregious human rights violations directed at Iranian women (Soraya in particular, as you can guess). I would have thought that if this movie had any religious or political backing it would be from a muslim council or some kind of global humanitarian awareness something or other. So I was filling out the survey at the bottom of the link and got to where it asks me to list my "Title" I was epecting the usual choices of Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., etc. The options I got were, "Head Pastor, Pastor, Priest, Rabbi, Small Group Leader, Youth Ministry, Adult Ministry, Teacher, other."

That was surpring, and not just grammatically. Is Adult Ministry really a "title", as in, "Hello, I'm Adult Ministry Slyder"? I also noted how the "o" of "other" was lowercase, unlike all the other options. Anyway, I clicked other. The next question calls for the name of my Congregation, and the following question asks for the size of my congregation. I'm not affiliated with any religious organization, so I wrote in "none" for my name. When I got to the size of my congregation, I recalled that the survey says at the top "All Fields Required", so I was looking for the option of "0-100" or, "I don't belong to an organization" Nothing of the sort was an option. The choice with the smallest following was "1-10", so I had to lie since all fields were required.

Make no mistake about my skepticism- the movie was very good. It was good in a Schindler's List kind of way- well done, gets its point across, appears accurate and without an ax to grind, but at the same time isn't a date movie and provides zero comic relief. It's just designed to provoke thought, feel sympathy and nothing else. So a friend and I sat through the movie and found that it achieved its goal. It is entertaining, just not escapist.

When the movie finished a guy who is affiliated with the movie, more specifically Grace Hill Media, the movie's Christian PR team, grabs a microphone in the theater to ask us what we thought. He then was telling us what an outrageous crime against humanity, blah blah blah. He proceeded to tell us that the best way to end such suffering is to talk about it at our church, at youth groups and for church's to rent out entire movie theaters for its parishioners to come watch his movie. He then asked for a show of hands from the audience for people who were leaders in their churches. What I heard was "Jesus wants you to give us your money." That's when I left.

It seemed to me that this entire event was little else but a focus group for a possible new conservative agenda. Maybe the conservatives feel like the dropped the ball on certain humanitarian topics like Darfur, Global Warming, or maybe even gay marriage to some small extent (since it now seems like its legalization is a foregone conclusion, even if its a ways off), and scrambled to find a new stage in which to display their humanitarianism. So with the free screening and feedback, and subsequent email surveys, they were seeing if this was a topic that resonated with a conservative audience, and we were their focus group.

What I found most unfortunate was the veiled correlation between this conservative burgeoning concern with Iranian well-being, and the conservative support of war in that region. While this movie successfully makes us sympathize with the plight of females in Iran, it also demonizes the men (rightfully so, in the case of this movie). I couldn't shake the feeling that this movie then advances anti-muslim sentiment (since Allah apparently condones violence if the recipient had it coming to them, as we learn in the movie), by effectively stating- "Sure their thinking is screwed up, but it's nothing a little Jesus can't fix". Phrased differently, it seems to drive an ideological wedge between us and them.

Maybe all of the wedge-driving is warranted. If all the men in that village really were that incorrigble, then this movie has portrayed that accurately and no one is at fault. But such direct marketing toward Christians, and ostensibly, toward ONLY Christians reduces the credibility of the cinematic achievement. It made me ask- why does the marketing of this movie make it sound as if an atheist or muslim couldn't sympathize with Soraya's strife? Why was religion a part of the marketing of this movie? Since its a global issue, why not appeal toward more liberal groups like colleges or global humanitarian causes? Christianity playing such a heavy-handed role in the movie's marketing, I kept thinking that some conservative consortium must have planned this PR movie months ago, thinking, "Ok liberals, you won with Darfur, water-boarding, health care reform and Global Warming, but we're gonna get even when we make muslim women our new pet cause. Just you wait! Back off, non-Christians, this is our battle to fight and win, we found it first."

Then I got this email from Grace Hill today.

Dear Friend,

Now that you've had a chance to see THE STONING OF SORAYA M. and had time to collect your thoughts about this powerful film, I hope you've come to the same conclusion I have – although difficult to watch, it is a story that must be told! If you were as moved as I was, it is time to stand up and make a difference.The momentum for the STONING OF SORAYA M. is building – people as diverse as Dr. Frank Wright (President, NRB), Tony Campolo (Lecturer and Professor at Eastern University) and radio personality Rush Limbaugh have all been moved to offer action:
“Out of darkness – light. That is the story of creation, the story of human redemption, and the hope of The Stoning of Soraya M. In this true story, a wrongly accused woman pays the price for the sins of her town. With the darkness of the human condition laid bare, this riveting account inevitably points us to our only real hope: the One Atonement that dispels darkness and manifests the One Light that will never fail.”
-Frank Wright, Ph.D., President & CEO, National Religious Broadcasters

"The Stoning of Soraya M. is mesmerizing from beginning to end. It stirs the emotions that lead to commitments for justice on behalf of oppressed women everywhere. This has to be one of the best and most important films of the year."
-Tony Campolo, PhD, Eastern University

And now it's your turn.

As you probably sensed intuitively, the filmmakers responsible for THE STONING OF SORAYA M. are unique in Hollywood. Having made other life-altering films like THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST and BELLA, it's clear that their personal faith informs their professional vision. But films like these don't continue to get made without box office success, and that requires men and women who make a personal commitment to support films like these as a ministry opportunity.

We need your help. We need YOU to commit to buying out an entire screening on opening weekend. That's a big commitment, I know - but I would not ask you to do anything I wouldn't do myself. That's why I'll be buying out a screening on opening weekend. Join me, and help make THE STONING OF SORAYA M. a movie that changes hearts and frees oppressed people all over the globe. Together we can make a difference.
As an added incentive, if you buy out an entire theatre, Jim Caviezel will tape a personal greeting for you and your congregation! Just go to www.stoningparable.com/commit to register, or contact me personally at jb@gracehillmedia.com. Help support THE STONING OF SORAYA M. - so that the world will know.

Thank you again and God bless,

Jonathan BockPresidentGrace Hill Media

***********************************************************

Wait, so you're telling me that this movie has been lauded from such a diverse array of thinkers that it was praised by Rush Limbaugh AND the Pres. and CEO of National Religious Broadcasters?? That movie somehow reached out to BOTH of them?? Daayyyyum. That just about spans the whole spectrum of American political thought.

So if you feel sympathy for Soraya, and you should, you're obligated as Christians to feel guilty for your inaction regarding her people. How can you get involved? By watching my movie and telling a friend! Silence is consent- speak loudly! Unfortunately, this concept is very reminiscent of the pre-Lutheran Revolution Christian Church's selling of indulgences. The tag-team alliance of this powerful movie with this Christian group is an unsound idea as it dillutes the powerful message of the movie by secularizing it.

All that letter was missing was what they really wanted to say: Jesus told us that he wants you to give us your money.

A Martin Landau-Related Epiphany

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


While watching the Cavs-Magic game last night it hit me: If Martin Landau ever decides to write a book of oral sex techniques, it should definitely be called Oral Landau Magic.

Daily Racing Form's Dan Illman Agrees With Me About Zenyatta

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

After Zenyatta's stunning win in this weekends Milady Handicap, Dan Illman of DailyRacingForm.com echoed my sentiments about her superiority over the freakisly talented media darling, Rachel Alexandra.

***

With all due respect to "Superstar" Billy Graham, it is Zenyatta that is "the reflection of perfection, the number one selection." The Amazon, the freak, the scourge of the distaff division, Zenyatta is Beauty and The Beast rolled up into one divine package. Despite a wonderful ride from Garrett Gomez aboard the talented Life Is Sweet, Zenyatta wouldn't be denied. Again. Gomez dared Mike Smith to move Zenyatta through a narrow opening on the inside entering the final turn of the Milady Handicap at Hollywood Park on Saturday, and when Smith took the bait, Gomez almost put him over the rail. Undaunted, Zenyatta calmly began to build up momentum, and despite losing ground when wide turning for home, she steamrolled her opposition with the devastating ease that we've come to expect from the champion. Rachel Alexandra may have thrown down the gauntlet by beating males in the Preakness, but she isn't the mare to beat until she tackles Zenyatta.

***

Agreed.

Mancow on Countdown With Keith Olbermann to Discuss his Waterboarding Experience

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

By now I'm sure all of you have heard that Chicago rado DJ Erich "Mancow" Mueller was voluntarily waterboarded on his show last week. This is the first interview that I've seen him do about it. Here it is.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I still think pee boarding would be worse.

Roland Burris Really is a Moron

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The Trib is reporting that Roland Burris was caught on tape telling Rod Blagojevich's brother that he'd be will to present then-Governor Rod Blagojevich with a check, if appointed to a Senate seat.

That information was made available a day after a judge announced that a secretly-recorded phone conversation between Burris and Blago's brother would be used in the Blagojevich trial. When reached for comment about it yesterday, an attorney representing Burris said that he was glad the tape was being used as evidence, because he was sure that its contents, whatever they were, would help exonerate Bloagevich and Burris. He was wrong.

The Sun-Times provides a transcript of the phone call here.

Some Things Are Just Meant to be

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Mr. T sang Take Me Out To The Ballgame at Wrigley.

The New Sheriff of Sexytown

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Not only was I not uncomfortable at any point of this video, but it inspired me to be a better man.




Any guy who is NOT gyrating his pelvis to cliched R and B, while wearing red manties and a gold grill is no man at all.

This is Unimportant But I Couldn't Sit Idly By

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I've been watching the NBA playoffs on TNT. They are running a commercial now starring their usual suspects- Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, and Ernie Johnson. In the commercial Ernie says he can't do something because he has a weak back. Kenny asks, "oh when did that happen?" and Ernie answers, "oh about a week back".

They stole that from the Three Stooges.

Not a great joke by the Stooges, but nonetheless, it's theirs and not TNT's. One would think that if TNT would steal a joke it'd be a good one, but I guess that's not the case. Big ups to the Stooges.

Strike Two

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Helio Castroneves Evades Taxes, Indy 500 Loss

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Actually he was acquitted on charges of tax evasion, but was convicted of conspiracy. Anyway, he won the Indy 500 on Sunday.

Zenyatta Still Aint Nothin' to Eff With

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Zenyatta does it again. Watch her the whole time, she tries for about a quarter of a mile in this mile and a sixteenth race. If Zenyatta and Rachel Alexandra go head to head (presumably in the Breeder's Cup, but most likely not before), I think that would be the best day of my life. This ride is one of those rare things of beauty that does not involve me shirtless.



Rick Reilly certainly has never heard of this horse. Was that the impetus of my recent article against him? Yes. Not only is Reilly unaware of the Breeder's Cup, it is obvious he has never see this horse race. Nor has he seen Zenyatta effortlessly put to bed her foes in the classiest female race in the world like I have. That race? This one. The 2008 Breeder's Cup Ladies Classic.



Look impressive? It's cuz she is. I Loooooove Rachel Alexandra as much as the rest of America. But The throne she aspires to is currently occupied by Zenyatta. Don't believe me? What if the EIC of the Daily Racing Form ran a comparison of the best current female in training against the best mare (older female) of all time? Would it be Rachel Alexandra? Click here to find out.

Zenyatta is nothing to be fucked with.

Why the Sun-Times Lags Behind the Tribune

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Because the Sun-Times not only gives the time of day to Clay Aiken's blog, but uses a cheeky headline to boot- Aiken Takes Poke at 'Idol', Lambert.

No word yet on whether the truth was difficult for Lambert to swallow or if Lambert felt Clay to be a pain in the ass.

Minor Changes to the Blog

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I added a few new links to my Recommended Links in the margin.

FMyLife- Mentioned a few posts below this one.

The Memory Palace- Ditto.

TheYBF- The Young Black and Famous. Basically a black gossip site. Its comments section taught me the acronym, LMBAO, which I use regularly.

The Big Lead- Great sports blog.

Huffington Post- You're probably familiar with this reputable and cutting edge news site.

The Chicago Defender- News regarding the Black Community in Chicago.

Fake Shore Drive- Outstanding, independent blog about the hip-hop scene in Chicago.

The Boston Phoenix- Independent, Free Boston newspaper. At least I think it's independent, a copy of them helped me get through my recent Boston-to-Chicago flight. It reminds me of the Chicago Reader. I thought I'd give them some Link Love.

Rod and Patti Blagojevich to Have Role on I'm A Celebrity....Get me out of Here

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Patti will be a full-fledged contestant and Rod will have some kind of job that surprises us, according to him. This is a great day for America.

For anyone who isn't familiar with the Blagojeviches, just trust me. They'll amuse you.

Hey Leee

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

As you may be aware, I like the Chicago Cubs, and they have a player named Derek Lee. Because of this clip, and me being a moron, I say "Hey Leeee" everytime he is mentioned. It sucks and so do I.

Please Don't Turn a "Blind" eye Toward me

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

One of my favorites

Ken Jennings Doin' What he do

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I almost forgot about this little doozie.

When Jesus and Flatulence Become Synergistic- Farting Preacher 4

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Thank God this is back on YouTube. Watch it while you can.



Thank you, Jesus *toot* Thank you, Jesus *toot* Thank you Jesus.

I Hate Chris Matthews, and so Should You.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You know how people like add "East" or "West" to already existing places in order to describe newer places? Like someone may call Atlantic City, "Las Vegas East", or call Miami, "Rio de Janiero North"?

I'd like to start the movement to call Chris Matthews, "Glenn Beck Left". However, if you'd prefer to call him, "Old Tingley Leg" instead, I'd also be ok with that. What a scrotum.

Turns out Brendan Fraser Wasn't "The Missing Link" Afterall

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Turns out it was that thing in the picture. Who knew? Oh yeah, these guys.

Don't Judge a Book By Its Title

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Despite the name "Paris Hilton" being in the title, this book looks pretty entertaining. Based upon the synopses I've read it reminds me of Clubland, By Frank Owen, which was later turned in to the movie Party Monster. I read that book and enjoyed it.

Some High-Grade Stupidity, Bristol Palin Style.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Bristol Palin told People Magazine, "If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust me. Nobody."

Doesn't this necessarily mean that she was unaware of where babies came from, and/or that STDs existed? You know how when you read an article involving speculation or gossip, it's common for people to reply, "I call bullshit on this one"? Well, I call dipshit on this one.

Secondly, with the absolute language of, "Nobody.", Does she think that knowledge would prevent a newly-outed 22 year-old single gay man on Ecstasy at a gay nightclub from having sex? Isn't that guy "somebody"?

So at age 17 or 18, Bristol didn't know where babies come and at age 18 she doesn't know that gay people have sex. Maybe she should stop talking to the media.

Another Great Website

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

FMyLife.com.

Need a pick-me-up? This site will cure what ails ya. It's like a Twitter/Message Board/Sounding Board/Place to Vent. But only for things that totally suck AND are hilarious.

Examples:

Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML

Today, a litte girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then proceeded to put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML


Shout out to Erika for introducing me to this website.

Cool New Website

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The Memory Palace. It's got an NPR feel about it, in the best way- intelligent, and the author's voice has the NPR requisite lullaby-quality voice. If you like getting your Cliff Clavin on with little-known factoids, this site is for you.

I'm gonna plagiarize the Freakonomics blog to save myself time (note that I didn't copy their links over here, despite it looking like I did. I'm lazy.)

" History is full of half-forgotten tales. That time, for instance, when the British thought Ben Franklin was helping the French build a death ray. Or when everyone in the Netherlands accidentally got high for a year on rye bread tainted by a psychedelic mold. Or how a dentist’s visit to Carlsbad Cavern inspired a doomsday weapon that could have ended World War II, if the atom bomb hadn’t done it first. Nate DiMeo has been collecting these stories, in short, wonderful podcasts, on a site called The Memory Palace. "

I can recommend this site for sure. It's pretty new and there are only a handful of stories yet. But they are all between like 3 and 5 minutes (they're all done in audio form), so you don't have to devote much time to the site if you aren't willing. My favorite one is High Societies, especially the part about St. Catherine of Sienna.

One complaint about the site is that it offers the title of the piece and it's duration, but offers no description as to the story. The good news is that every one of them is good.

My Disappointment in Cubs Vendors

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

So the Cardinals vendors concocted this t-shirt. Apparently the humor lies in the notion that 1. Carlos Zambrano is Hispanic, and, 2. Lower-class Hispanics commonly mow lawns for higher class people. Obviously that is hilarious because it's racially insensitive and because the Cardinals have a number of Hispanic players as well. Great job, Cardinals t-shirt mongers!

But the Cubs recently countered with an equally offensive/not funny t-shirt, only it was far less original. It says simply, "Pujols Mows My Lawn" and uses the same image. If you're gonna set your brain to "offensive t-shirt mode" shouldn't it be funnier?

I would have liked to have seen, "The Cardinals signed Pujols at a Home Depot Parking Lot" on a t-shirt instead. Then the t-shirt could feature his stupid squatty stance in the parking lot, signing a contract that is being handed to him by a guy with a crappy pickup truck with the Cardinals logo on it.

Step up your game, Cubs t-shirt mongers.

This What Results When Uninformed Writers Act Informed

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


This is a great example, courtesy of ESPN's wind-bag-in-residence, Rick Reilly.

Let's take it from the top.

Problem 1: The title is, "The Greatest Horse in the World Will get to Stretch her legs in the Preakness"

The Problem: No one thinks she is the greatest horse in the world. She may not even be the best female horse in America. Zenyatta, who is 9-for-9 and blew the doors off the competition in last year's Breeder's Cup Ladies Classic, the most prestigious female race in North America, is still in training. Rick either decided to irrationally leave her out, or has no idea she exists. I'll go with the latter- and that's just the females. No one has ever alleged she could or would beat the likes of Einstein or Commentator, or even fellow three year-olds I Want Revenge or Quality Road, for that matter.

Problem 2: Sentence #1 starts with "If you love to see a strong female take on the boys, if you think fillies should be given every chance to compete with studs..."

The Problem: The word "studs". Studs mean horses that have sired children. Horses in training (i.e. still racing) are forbidden from being sires. She will never race against a stud in her life, nor will any other horse. Studs do not race.

Problem 3: The third paragraph is one (erroneous) sentence long: "In fact, she's the fastest racehorse in the world"

The Problem: That is not a fact at all. Reilly may have been tempted to anoint her as such because he saw her visually stunning Kentucky Oaks victory which resulted in a Beyer Speed figure of 108. However, fellow three-year old I Want Revenge ran a 113 in the Gotham Stakes on March 7th. In the Florida Derby on March 28th, Dunkirk ran a 108 and Quality Road ran a 111. And those are just other three-year olds.

Furthermore, "fastest" implies she is a sprinter, which she is not.

That assertion is akin to saying that the man who runs the fastest mile is the fatest man in the world. That's cool, I'll take Usain Bolt. As much as I enjoy Rachel Alexandra, she would be no match in a sprint versus horses like Fabulous Strike, Kodiak Kowboy or Commentator.

Problem 4: First sentence, 9th paragraph, "That left Rachel Alexandra to race in the biggest fillies race in America—the Kentucky Oaks—the day before the Derby."

The Problem: The Kentucky Oaks, though a very prestigious race for fillies is certainly not the biggest monetarily or in terms of prestige. With the Oaks's purse of $500k, the Alabama Stakes at Saratoga is bigger at $600k. But that's not the only one. In 2008, the purse for the Breeder's Cup Juvenile Fillies was $2 million, four times larger than that of the KY Oaks.

Problem 5: The ninth-to-last paragraph where Rick implies that fillies are more likely to die in races versus boys.

The Problem: He ignored two well-documented racing facts. One is that, for whatever reason, match races, like the one that ended Ruffian's life-as Reilly mentions, are historically much more likely to cause a horse to break down. And, two, Eight Belles did not die because she raced against boys, she died due to multiple breeding links to notoriously feeble-boned sire Native Dancer, a breeding pattern that herself up for that fall.

And do you know where I learned #2? From an article on Reilly's own ESPN.com. It was written by an actual horse racing journalist, Bill Nack- who was portrayed in a prominent role in the ESPN movie about Ruffian. So it appears that Rick Rielly saw the movie about Ruffian, then decided to throw in a reference to her in an attempt to seem familiar with the history of horse racing. It's too bad he didn't consult his ESPN.com colleague who could have informed him of his feeble writing about horses.

Ordinarily, I am excited to see any mainstream media outlet cover horse racing- the more exposure for this ailing sport, the better. I even give passes to authors when they are extremely topical and don't offer any incite into racing, just the publicity alone is enough for me. Despite Reilly's feeble allusion to past legend Ruffian, and his gavel-pounding declaration about Rachel Alexandra's current global domination of all things equine, it's obvious that he knows very little about the sport and this column was woefully under-researched.

Good topic, dreadful column, Rick Reilly.

Moral Majority

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I saw heard this the other day about the Moral Majority:I thought that was pretty funny and very true.

Then I thought of a great name for a punk band: Mmm...Oral Majority

The Most Interesting Photo in the World

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I don't always look at nude little person with vacum cleaner pics, but when I do, I prefer this one. Stay awesome, my friends.

Best Song to Have in Your iPod to Workout to

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is ALWAYS the song I put on when I'm trying to crank out the last stretch of a long run. This doesn't show the video, but the audio quality is good and it isn't edited.



I Woulda included Kanye's Workout Plan, but I couldn't embed the video, so I nixed it.

Another Ditty

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

If you don't like this song, jumpoff ditty. Then please do not ever visit this blog again.

Girl, I Must Waaarrrrrnnnnnn Youuuuu

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The last posting I made reminded me that I need to needed to post more awesome videos from the Embarassing Clothing Era of hip-hop.

That One Commercial Reminded me That I, and Everyone, Loves This Song

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Don't try to hide that smile when this song starts up. How this song isn't a wedding staple is beyond me. This song is such a hit, he should be considered a "Two Hit Wonder".




That being said, I'd want to be just friends with Biz Markie. But I still like the song a lot.

And to all of my personal friends: Please be patient while I attempt to learn that dance he does at the end. Thank you.

I'm a Black Woman, and I Luuuuuve This Posting

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is among the best local commercials of all time, out of North Carolina. I'm still trying to figure out of the awkward handshakes are acting, or if it was real life and filmed on a hidden camera. I know when I shake hands with someone I give a limp handshake, then look away toward where cameras would be, but I assumed I was the only one.





Here is their homepage.


(that clip courtesy of Dr. Kevin. If this doesn't change your Uncle's opinion about you Kevin, then it's HIS loss!!!)

Barack Kept it Pretty Greezy At the White House Correspondants Association Dinner

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You can get your watch on right here. Good to see Ashton Kutcher at the 9:48 mark. It really woulda sucked if he couldn't have made it. I hope he Twitters about it, then I am forced to read about how he Twittered about it.

Update (less than 12 hours later): Son of a bitch. It already happened.

Up-update: It happened again. Maybe I should stop reading HuffPo.

Can't Hate This One

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

It's the Dick In a Box sequel pretty much.

P.S. It's about sexual intercourse.

If You Aren't Crunk Don't Bother

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Chicago Hip-House. 1989. Get ready for the comeback. You heard it here first. Well, I mean, unless you heard it here first. Or here.

Talkin Politics Without the Snark or Name Calling

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Without putting in my specific political beliefs, here's what I think is wrong with the Republican Party: They haven't yet grasped that the country is moving to the left.

Not left in the sense that we have a democrat in office, or a president who opposes war, and seems to favor gay-rights and bigger government, but left in global terms.

Ask anyone European what they think of American politics and what they'll tell you is that on the global stage, the US is the Mississippi of modern world. As liberal as Fox News may want you to believe the country now is, we are still the Mississippi of the G8.

With that being said, the Republicans have been trying to prevent this shift by trying to nail down their base at its most conservative extreme to prevent losing them. Unfortunately, that's exactly what happened- they lost all of the "swing vote" centrists who could go either way and the supporters they were left with are somewhere between hardened believers in Christianity, and hardened disbelievers in evolution- hardly an accurate representation of our country. It's just difficult to have your party's intelligence taken seriously when 3 of 10 of the debaters at a Presidential Campaign Debate raised their hands when asked "Which of you do not believe in evolution?". Sen. Sam Brownback, Gov. Mike Huckabee, and Rep. Tom Tancredo, I'm looking in your direction.

For the RNC to think they need to trot out fundamentalists (what are those "fundamentals" anyway?) to try to salvage their base is awful strategy. What they should say is, "If you don't believe in evolution, 1) you are helplessly moronic, and, 2) you're gonna vote republican no matter what anyway, so don't expect any of us to propose legislature where we lie to our kids about evolution." If you don't believe in evolution, you will never vote deomocrat, so why cater to them?

George Clooney could go out with any fat chick in America, and everyone knows that- so why would he go on Oprah and pander to them?

While I agree with the frustration of the Republican party that they recent setbacks aren't the result of an inherently flawed party, but rather a current vacum of energizing leaders. But they can't keep trying new pundits out on weekly basis and hoping the public likes them. It reminds me of a Carrot Top routine- he stands up there, reaches into a huge chest, pulls something out, says some stuff, no one is amused then he says, "No? Ok, well about this thing right here...?" then the audience reacts apathetically to that as well. Between Sarah Palin, Joe the Plumber, Megan McCain, Glenn Beck, that chick on the view who is the non-ugly one, enough already guys. I get you don't have anyone that's hot at the moment, but you don't have keep trying new people out and hoping for the best.

You're right, as a party, to realize that Rush Limbaugh's vitriol has grown rude, petty, and tiresome and that Fox News' infotainment doesn't "reach across the aisle" in the living rooms of America, but don't keep trying out new insta-leaders on the fly like you have been, because it makes you look desperate. Just hang back against the ropes, take a few body blows for a few months while you formulate a game plan then come out swinging. If you keep parading around uneducated opponents of the separation of church and state like they're an elephant at an Indian wedding, people will never take you seriously when you actually DO have a plan and a galvanizing leader.

The country is moving to the left and your people that are farthest to the right are getting left behind. They better catch up, or they'll be left for good because this boat is too big to turn around and save them. Cut your losses and move forward before it's too late and you're joing your friends in the water, watching this ship sail away from you and out of sight forever.

Some Horse Racing Odds and Ends

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Calvin Borel will NOT ride Mine That Bird in the Preakness. Since superfilly Rachel Alexandra declared she'll be in the Preakness, Borel opted to ride her. After riding her to a 20-length blowout in the Kentucky Oaks the day before the KY Derby, Borel said that she is the best horse he has ever ridden. No one can blame Borel for that. Rachel Alexandra is likely to one of the best horses, male or female, in history and seems to have several more high-stakes wins ahead of her, and at this point, the same cannot be said of Mine That Bird. It wouldn't be shocking for Borel to regain any (non-conflicting with Rachel Alexandra) future mounts on Mine That Bird. We'll have to wait and see.

A full-brother to Curlin was born on April 29th. So be on the lookout for him in the Derby in three years.

Steve Haskin wrote his follow-up to the Derby. Labeling this article a "must-read" would be a misnomer, but it's ok.

Exhaustion

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I just read that a reality show chick went to the emergency room for "Exhaustion", but it's widely believed to be a cocaine overdose.

What's the over/under on amount of time before people start calling cocaine "exhaustion", or "exhaust", or "exhaustion powder"? I'm going with 4 weeks.

This Gave me Some Derby Closure

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Horse racing Yoda, Andrew Beyer wrote this great article explaining how the unlikely Derby result was the product of a perfect storm. I plagarized it below. I took it from here.

Don't look for Mine That Bird to win the Preakness, however. Rachel Alexandra's connections just announced that she will run in the Preakness Stakes. The boys are in a LOT of trouble. Anyway, the Beyer article is below.

Many factors led to eye-popping win

By Andrew Beyer

WASHINGTON - After Mine That Bird won the Kentucky Derby, all reports of the race noted the 50-1 payoff was the second highest in the race's history. Even so, most casual fans probably did not appreciate the magnitude of this incomprehensible upset.

Because many people blindly bet on longshots in the Derby, even hopeless horses rarely go off at odds higher than 50-1. Mine That Bird deserved to be 200-1. This was one of the biggest upsets in the history of American racing. In my four decades of covering the sport, it ranks as one of the two most mystifying results in a major stakes race, along with Canonero II's victory in the 1971 Derby.

For devotees of speed figures - which usually have been a reliable gauge of Derby horses - this result was especially hard to explain. Since the publication of the Beyer Speed Figures, the weakest horse to win the Derby was Giacomo, who had never earned a figure higher than 98 before he scored his 50-1 upset in 2005. Yet Giacomo looked like a superhorse compared with Mine That Bird, whose best lifetime figure was the 81 he recorded while losing an obscure stakes race in New Mexico. His figure of 105 in the Derby represented a 17-length improvement.

How did it happen? I put that question Sunday to a few of the people whose opinions I respect the most: professional handicappers Maury Wolff and Paul Cornman; New York Racing Association TV analyst Andy Serling; and ESPN commentator Randy Moss. With their help, I have tried to fashion an explanation for Saturday's events.

It's not a simple explanation, but as Moss said, "What happened was a perfect storm of situations that added up to give you a wacky result."

These were the elements of the perfect storm:

* The Derby field was weak and the best horses delivered poor performances on the sloppy track.

* Racing on or near the rail was an advantage at Churchill Downs on Saturday, and jockey Calvin Borel took advantage of the conditions by keeping Mine That Bird on the rail.

* Mine That Bird obviously relished the sloppy track, and he evidently possessed more talent than his past performances indicated.

* The two outstanding members of the 3-year-old crop, I Want Revenge and Quality Road, had been knocked out of the Derby by injuries; I Want Revenge was scratched on the morning of the race. In their absence, nobody possessed rock-solid credentials.

Even in a normal year, few horses deliver peak performances in the Derby - it's an extraordinarily difficult and stressful race. Over a sloppy track, even fewer horses fire their best shots. On Saturday, Friesan Fire, the favorite, barely picked up his feet and lost by more than 40 lengths. Dunkirk, the second choice, lost by more than 20. Almost nobody besides the winner ran well. If Mine That Bird hadn't been in the field, the winning speed figure for the Derby would have been 95 - by far the lowest ever for a Triple Crown event.

Besides having trouble with the sloppy track, many of the horses in the Derby were compromised by the bias of the Churchill racing strip. Most of the winners Saturday spent all or part of their journeys near the rail, and nobody won by circling the field. This was no secret: ESPN's commentators were talking about the bias all afternoon and asking jockeys about it. But few of the riders in the Derby tried to take advantage of the rail, except for Borel, whose propensities have earned him the nickname "Bo-Rail." His performance was almost a duplicate of his rail-skimming ride aboard Street Sense in the 2007 Derby. Wolff observed: "With any other rider, Mine That Bird doesn't get that trip."

The bias wasn't so strong that it was propelling bad horses to victory. There hadn't been any absurd results on the Churchill card before the Derby. In the Derby, jockey Kent Desormeaux also stayed on the rail with his mount, Hold Me Back, and he made a strong move down the backstretch and into the turn before his mount faltered badly. So the winner needed some talent to take advantage of his ground-saving trip.

Presumably Mine That Bird improved because he relished the sloppy track - something no handicapper could have anticipated before the race. But the gelding may have also been a better horse than he looked on paper. After the Derby, I reviewed the films of his previous races. In both of his starts this spring at New Mexico's Sunland Park, his jockey had made ill-judged, premature moves to vie for the lead. In both races he fought tenaciously before he faded in the stretch. I would imagine some handicappers in New Mexico were eagerly waiting to bet him the next time he ran. However, no rational handicapper could have considered these trips a harbinger of a victory in the Kentucky Derby.

Mine That Bird's win will be popularly regarded as the result of a once-in-a-lifetime perfect storm. Probably this opinion is correct; probably the gelding will never win another major race. However, I can remember that the other utterly implausible Derby winner, Canonero II, was regarded the same way. Two weeks later he won the Preakness and forced all of the doubters to revise their opinion that the Derby was a fluke.

(c) 2009, The Washington Post

Mongy Ramirez and the Hall of Fame Question

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You know how some people preface their argument with, "I'm sorry but.."? I'm not one of those people.

I just read an ESPN poll that asked the question:

With the news of his suspension, does Manny Ramirez get your vote for the Hall of Fame?
A) Always had my vote
B) Doesn't have my vote anymore
C) Never had my vote

While I think that is a very good question, and the answer choices provided are good choices, I was disappointed in America's answers. 50% answered A, 31% went with B, and 20% chose C.I'm sorry but, 71% of those answers are not acceptable. C is indefensible and A is not much better.

If Mongy has cloudy piss, and you still put him in the Hall, then what is the point of testing? If you believe in science, then you necessarily believe that Mongy cheated. For those that voted for option A, I think their rationale is something like this, "He may have flunked one test, but that doesn't prove he cheated for years on end. He passed numerous tests and for all we know, he could have taken a banned drug one time. That shouldn't erase a career's worth of work". Believing that statement is a perversion of logic. No one can deny that steroid tests have historically been rife with false-negatives (e.g. a guilty player taking a designer steroid that the tests cannot detect, resulting in a passed test), but who believes there are any false positives? If you believe in false positives, then the testing process has no legitimacy whatsoever.

What perplexes me is why do so many people feel that players are entitled to be in the Hall of Fame? If you believe cheaters belong in the HOF, what's the point of having a Hall of Fame? In response to the Mongy apologists who claim, "One failed test should not ruin a career's work" I say this, "You are wrong. It absolutely should." Much like I'm unable to prove that one flunked test doesn't necessarily mean there was a lifetime of cheating, apologists cannot prove that he did NOT cheat for a career. Positive tests create doubt, and the Hall of Fame should be doubt free. I could not care less if no player is inducted into the HOF for the next 15 years, the point of the HOF is to honor the best of the best, with the honesty of their achievements being assumed in the definition of "best of the best".

Already, I can anticipate the criticism to my argument- I claim we must have faith in testing, yet I am willing to discredit all of Manny's previously passed tests. According to my line of rationale, Manny's positive test should prove that he started taking steroids sometime after his last negative test, right? Wrong.

Mongy tested positive for a female fertility hormone, a banned substance (hCG) that is used after a steroids cycle to kickstart one's system into making its own testosterone again. No rational athlete would take such a system-jarring drug like that, especially if it were banned, if they were not taking steroids. An ESPN article states:

Ramirez's case was set off when a test in spring training revealed he had elevated levels of testosterone in his body. MLB followed up with a more comprehensive test that confirmed the testosterone had to come from an artificial source, the sources said........The hCG use, a doping expert told ESPN, would have been separate from the use of the artificial testosterone reflected by MLB's testing.

So in the Spring he had too much testosterone, and a recent test confirmed he still had artificial testosterone in his system that was different than the kind of testosterone found in the Spring. That defeats the theory that Mongy was a one-time user. Does that prove he had used performance enhancing drugs in any previous season? No, but it proves he is a cheater; by definition, cheaters cannot be trusted. So if you want to take your kids to the Hall of Fame, pay $16.50 to get in, shouldn't you not have to hope that the inductees' statistics are legitimate?

Would you pay to go to an art museum if you knew that all of the works were forgeries? What if only some were forgeries, but you weren't sure which? I'm in favor of removing all doubt. Mongy Ramirez has raised such doubt.

Mongy Ramirez: I got it poppin, and got the panties droppin' with Gonadotropin

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



I stole this quotation from this ESPN Link

However, two sources told ESPN's T.J. Quinn and Mark Fainaru-Wada that the drug used by Ramirez is HCG -- human chorionic gonadotropin. HCG is a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle. It is similar to Clomid, the drug Bonds, Giambi and others used as clients of BALCO.

You're a very fertile woman, Manny.

Request and Dedication Hour, With Your DJ TR Slyder

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I got this letter from a special gentleman in Chicago, Illinois it reads,

"Dear TR,

Mongy Ramirez is a GD 'roid monkey like I've always suspected. He helped steroids break the Curse of the Bambino, and he helped keep holding the Cubs down. He is a juicing liar, a fraud and a general fucking mongoloid all around. Classy of him and his agent to take Los Angeles hostage in their contract talks, only to see LA give in to the PR pressure and capitulate. Then Mongy stabbed them in the back with being a roid fiend. What a colossal dickbag.

So TR would you please play request and dedication? I want to dedicate Biggie Small's "Juicy" to Mongy Ramirez. You know what TR? It's like Biggie says, "And if you don't know, know you now, nicka."

Signed,

Tito Swanson"


Tito, thank you for your moving letter, and I'll do you one better with the Biggie/Mongy lyrics- "Spread 'roids it's the BX way." Anyway, It would be my honor to play that. Since this email was about a juiced-out 'roid monkey, I'll even change my tagline for my dedidacion-
Tito, keep a needle in your ass, your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars! Here is your request and dedication.