Dumb Stuff I Hate

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Not all dumb stuff is inherently bad. But this stuff is.

1) When people, though it seems like sports debaters do this most often, ask whether or not something "can" happen. Examples are, "Can Cleveland force a game 7 against the Magic?", or "Can the Cubs reach the NLCS this season?". The question is not "will" they, but "can" they. That's the problem.

There is no way to incorrectly answer that question. If you say that the Cubs "can" and later they do that, you are of course correct. Conversely, if you say they can and they do not, you aren't absolutely wrong: they still could have, they just didn't; just like how I could have went jogging at 5:30 am this morning. Could I have? Definitely. Did I? No. If last night I asked you, "could I go jogging tomorrow at 5:30 am tomorrow?" and you answered yes, you still wouldn't be wrong. All you confirmed was a possibility.

So the only way to answer a "can" question wrong is to say "no" then have that action occur. So what is the incentive for answering in the negative? None.

The "can" question obviously makes for lousy television or radio, or any form of entertainment. So why do they keep asking it?



2) Another common stupid comment I have yet to hear anyone rebut in the media. Namely, when defending an athlete against a steroid allegation the defender's rationale is, "No way he's on steroids- that guy works out ALL THE TIME. No way he took steroids."

Right. Let's go over how you get extremely muscular from steroids use again.

1) You ingest steroids.
2) You work out all the time.

So when accuser Y says "I think that athlete did action 1 (as shown above)", defendant X feels t a cogent defense would be, "No way he did 1 because he performs action #2!".

With that putrid logic, two things must necessarily be true: 1) working out without steroids can get you as big as fast as working out with them, and 2) It's possible to take steroids, not workout, and still get huge.

Phrased another way, that's like saying, "There's no way Michael Jackson molested that kid, he loves kids!"