By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
It's obvious what BU did in order to beat Miami University for the National Championship on Saturday. They made a deal with Satan himself. Anyone who watched the game knows perfectly well that's the only explanation for that.
Here we were, the Miami faithful, just trying to compete in some honest gamesmanship in a sportsmanlike way, and we were competing against satanists! Well, I mean, if it's THAT important to you, BU, then you should have it. We wouldn't want to interfere with that.
But I just hope it was worth it, Boston University. I mean sure, that trophy will look mighty shiny in your trophy case, but is an eternity of sodomy in the fiery bellows of hell, while Jefferey Dahmer, Hitler and Stalin point and laugh, really worth it? Is it? I guess you'll have an eternity to think of an answer to that question. While you're getting BF'd.
Congratulations on an honest effort, Miami University Redhawks. At least you still own your souls. You are the real winners here today.
P.S. Sex with Satan? Really Boston University? That just seems gauche to me.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Boston University is Full of Satanists
Trying out Something New: Grammar Call Outs
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Bad grammar annoys me more than it annoys most people. Also, I am stupid enough to read the Comments-section occasionally for web articles that I enjoy. Inevitably, these are a breeding ground for the worst of the worst grammar on the internet. So I decided to start posting examples of extra-bad grammar.
Here's today's entrant. It's from this quasi-article on the Daily Racing Form's website. In the rant, this guy, "Race" sounds off about Kent Desormeaux, a jockey he dislikes. Let's have a look, shall we?
race says:
To "Prozackjack"---I agree hold heartely with your comments with Desormeaux---He's a head case, and cannot be trusted. My wife keeps telling me to let it go, but after he blew the Belmont with Big Brown with enough room for a Tracker Trailer to go through on the rail, I swore off him--and yes, he had to leave California go to another Country, and now he's riding high--Believe me---he'll show his color's soon in a big race, he already does every other day and it's head scratching, but not a big enough race to get any ink, and those in California will say "I told you so"----race
Posted by race Apr 11, 2009 12:14:15 PM
Congratulations "race"---- You don't understand life-----How does "hold heartely" make more sense than "whole"? By the way, you are allowed to use periods-----instead of "-----" dashes. I forgot to tell you that earlier.
It's Getting to be That Time of Year
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Bananas, Melonas, yeah.
As I always feel obligated to point out- the most underrated part of the video is the "yeah" at the :54 mark.
Fun With Names: Mark Teixeira Edition
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
I bet Mark's parents wouldn't like Mark Teixeira bed with a man.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Passin it Along
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
To my Chi-town people people.
| ||||||||||||||
Miami University
725 E Chestnut St
Oxford, OH 45056
If you wish to be removed from this group's mailing list, click here
Here is Sully's page on Metromix. It's in Old Town.
I'm Just Gonna Say it
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
This is the Angels pitcher that was killed by a drunk driver in a hit-and-run the other day. Trust me, I think it's as sad as anyone else.
It's just that I'm not mature to ignore that his fly is down in that pic. That's all. I'm compassionate, sympathetic and empathetic, I just never said I was mature.
When reached for a photographic comment on this picture, a 3-year old boy in the park 
offered the following reaction:
Thursday, April 9, 2009
I Know I Should be the Bigger Person, But Sometimes I Can't Help But Bemidiji
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Good work dispatching Bemidji State 4-1, Redhawks.
Keep your ducks in a row and you'll have no problem workin out those Departed-watching, Derek Jeter-hating, silly Bostonians.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Keep it Greezy, Like They do in Fort Weezy
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
If you're like most Americans, you're asking "Does a former mayor of TR Slyder's hometown ever blog on the Huffington Post?" For years, I refused to answer that question publicly, but after a recent series of tragedies (the Cubs lost last night, I mildly irritated my knee while running, I accidental bet a wrong exacta combinaiton for the Derby, etc.) I've re-evaluated things and decided to break my silence.
Yes, at least one of them does. Paul Helmke posts a lot of articulate and difficult-to-argue-with pieces about gun control. In this instance "gun control" means limiting the number of them in the public, and not merely hitting your target. Here's a sample of Helmke's work.
One warning before you read this though: This former mayor of Fort Wayne, Indiana is a white man. So don't me startled by his pic in the byline.
P.S. When I was looking for a picture to post for Fort Wayne, I wasn't sure what to use, since nothing really symbolizes Fort Wayne all that well. I don't think there's one image that every Fort Wayne resident would identify strongly with, so I just went with Coney Island. After Googling Fort Wayne I came upon the picture at right. It's for Fort Wayne Living magazine (you can faintly see the "Fort Wayne" atop the cover. Eagle-eyed readers may notice that is not Fort Wayne. What does that really say about Fort Wayne? "Fort Wayne- where you can read all about cooler places!" Do you think Fort Wayne was on the cover of March-April 2008's Las Vegas Living magazine? How pissed would you be if you lived in Vegas and subscribed to FWL, only to find that cover, telling you what you already knew? I'm gonna have to demand better from you, Fort Wayne Living.
For The Paranoia Enthusiasts
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Anytime you see this headline in the Wall Street Journal, you have to be excited
Electricity Grid in U.S. Penetrated By Spies
The article can be found here.The first thing I thought of when I saw that headline was this macabre ending to George Carlin's Life is Worth Losing Special on HBO. If I'm not mistaken, it was his last special on HBO. Anyway, check it out. You can start at the 4:00 minute mark for the full lead up, or just start right in at the 5:00 mark and figure out what you've missed. I'm glad I found this on YouTube. It goes hand-in-hand with the article above.
Holy. Moly. Buttholey.
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Wow o wow o wow o wow.
Here's how you know your blog has jumped the shark. It's safe for work, but not safe for anyone respecting their intellect, or human decency.
I'll give you a hint it's one of these two people. Seriously.
Ok fine, it's Justin Gwarweenie. Can you believe that the Huffington Post lets him blog there? Those bloggers are allowed to blog about whatever they want, whenever they want. I'm not sure I'd want that guy having that kind of access. What I'm saying is, when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep and log on to the Huffington Post, don't be surprised if you see him blogging about how he can't sleep either after all that Amyl Nitrate and the natural high he got when he bought those fabulous new boots. You heard it here first.
Turkish Blackface
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
I'm sure you've all see this by now. My biggest problem with this is that the guy doing it is Turkish! If I am not mistaken, those unibrowed, rug-selling, fez-wearing, hookah-smoking, fur-covered, camel-eatering, B.O. bastards aren't exactly aryan themselves. Maybe he shouldn't have quit his day job of being an extra in James Bond movies.
P.S. I think most Turks are Muslim. So I hope you guys are enjoying the Dutch cartoons of Muhammed going on sale soon. But seriously did you see Muhammed's turban in those? It's the bomb. I'll be here all week.
Chick Chimps Like Chimp Dudes who Bring the Meat
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Female Chimps mate most frequently with male chimps that frequently share portions of meat with them over long periods of time, according to Germans. That sounds about right.
Women.
Chicago 2016
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
I took that picture myself. Pretty cool, huh? Well, I took it from this page all by myself. History scholars will note that the fountain pictured there is indeed Buckingham Fountain, which was made famous in the intro of Married With Children.
When asked what the French Delegation of the IOC thought of the cityscape's 2016 motif he said "Eet iz very, how you say, a-shiny"
Jesse Jackson Jr. is Well on his way to Being as Stupid as his Father
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
The Chicago-Sun Times today is reporting that Jesse Jackson Jr.'s actions are being reviewed by Office of Congressional Ethics. These actions stem from his alleged involvement with ex-IL. Governor Rod Blagojevich's attempts to sell Obama's vacant Senate seat. To make a long story short, Blagojevich was trying to sell something illegally (the seat) and Jackson allegedly showed interest in purchasing that seat (illegally). Jackson and his people are going to say, "Of course I was interested in being the Senator, but I never discussed doing anything illegal to obtain the seat or engaging in any 'pay to play' activity." The Sun-Times, and Blagojevich's previous investigation seem to hint that there is cause to believe that Jackson had more-or-less begun negotiations for obtain the seat (illegally).
When reached for comment regarding the investigation, Jackson said: "I look a lot like Herschel Walker. Furthermore, my dad was with MLK when he got shot then used that fame to run a glorified Ponzi scheme for 40 years. Clearly, I have done no wrong."
KY is for Horses, and I'm Gonna Talk About That
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
My man Steve Haskins has spoken and I listened. My Derby horse, Quality Road is healing nicely from his potentially-harmful cracked hoof. Thank God and Baby Jesus. I didn't want my Derby horse to sit out the Derby or go in gimpy. The slight was crack looks increasingly non-threatening and we are nearly out of the woods with the injury.
I borrowed this from the link above:
Quality Road Quarter Crack Not Serious
Posted: Monday, April 6, 2009 2:44 PM
Foot specialist Ian McKinlay, who was in the news last year dealing with Big Brown ’s quarter crack prior to the Belmont Stakes (gr. I), is back on the Triple Crown trail once again, treating a lesser quarter crack suffered by
McKinlay said he’s optimistic
“He got patched down in
“I figured his foot would be ice cold today, but it was a little warmer than I thought. We had planned on patching him on Wednesday, but we’re going to be cautious, that’s all, and wait until the end of the week. They’ll just draw on it again with the Animalintex. This isn’t anything huge, that’s for sure. It’s just that I was looking for a simple one, but they never seem to be when you’re dealing with good horses. This one is basically pretty easy, but I was hoping it would be really easy.”
McKinlay said
“Big Brown had a pretty large abscess blow at the top, but with this one there’s no soreness at all up at the hairline,” he said. “It’s just a little pocket. Believe me, if his foot was cold today we’d be patching him on Wednesday. There’s just a little bit of heat that I don’t like. It could him moving around or just a little lingering infection, which the Animalintex should pull out along with any soreness.”
That is good news for the TR Slyder camp, as I have $20 worth of Derby Futures Exactas with Quality Road in them.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Philipino Fisherman Catch Rare Shark, Eat Rare Shark
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Great job guys.
From the AP: MANILA, Philippines – Fishermen in the Philippines accidentally caught and later ate a megamouth shark, one of the rarest fishes in the world with only 40 others recorded to have been encountered, the World Wildlife Fund said Tuesday.
What you guys were running short on cats, so you had to eat a rare shark? It's coincidental that I heard this only two weeks after Jim Rome reported that Manny Pacquiao's falling out with his father was caused by Manny's dad getting drunk and hungry and subsequently, killing and eating Manny's pet dog.
P'yongyanging With Mr. Cooper
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
I didn't read the captions, but apparently a European vacationer spent some time in P'yongyang and got out with his life and some cool pictures too.
Danger, She Smashed the Homey!
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
This was HILARIOUS from For the Love of Ray J. This totally made my month.
On last night's episode Ray J had the skanks meet his homies. This scene focuses on the crazy broad, Danger (The one with a face tattoo who looks like a latino version of early-Madonna) and her interaction with the aforementioned homies. As coincidence would have it, Danger has a history with one of the homies. Sing-song hilarity ensues. You are welcome.
She is one hunnit percent. Skanky. I mean, she smashed the homey!
P.S. the dude in the white zip-up hoodie is my favorite.
When Drugs and Diners DO Mix
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
You know how diners love giving their dishes funky, offbeat names? Do you know of any diners that refer to a fried egg as "Your Brain on Drugs"? If I saw that name somewhere, I'd go there everyday for the rest of my life.
Oh yeah, I Should Mention This
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
I inspired myself to get Statistical Extraploitation on UrbanDictionary.com. Check it out. And be on the look out for them today! I heard Stu Scott be an Extraploitative D-bag on Sports Center last night. What a D-bag.
Talk Derby to me: Steve Haskins' top 10
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.comBob Ross Steve Haskins is at it again. He ranks his top ten horses in an article published today. He has my boy Quality Road as third, which is understandable. For the neophytes, the first name (using #1 I Want Revenge as an example) is the horse's name, followed by his trainer- Jeff Mullins in this case. The next names probably won't mean much to you, but would to a big horse racing afficionado, it's the name of his sire (or dad), followed by his dam (i.e. mom), in this case it's Stephen Got Even and Meguial, respectively. The last horse listed, Roy here, is the horses' maternal grandfather.
Steve Haskin's Derby Dozen
Updated: April 7th
1.I Want Revenge Jeff Mullins; Stephen Got Even—Meguial, by Roy
Is there anything this horse can't do? His remarkable victory in the Wood had Aqueduct abuzz and stamped him as something special. His five-eighths come-home time in :59 4/5 and last eighth in :12 flat into a strong headwind was sensational, especially considering all the trouble he had and having to stop his run and alter course.
TR says: True enough But like I've always said- it's easier to beat horses that totally suck.
2. Pioneerof the Nile Bob Baffert; Empire Maker—Star of Goshen, by Lord At War
This winning machine just goes out there race after race and gets the job done even with having to run counterproductive to his best running style. He can adapt to any pace scenario and is so smooth and light on his feet he's a joy to watch. It would be a surprise if he didn't handle the dirt just as well or better, but he still has to go out and do it.
TR Says: I can't endorse this horse at the #2. He's talented, but he's only Haskins' #2 based on the assumption that he handles dirt very, very well (i.e. as well as he does synthetic). I'd rather base my second pic on a past record, than future optimism. We just don't know how he'll handle it. Great horses don't love every surface. Curlin lost on the grass last year. It can happen.
3. Quality Road Jimmy Jerkens; Elusive Quality—Kobla, by Strawberry Road
He makes up the Big 3 who for now will vie for favoritism in the Derby. He no doubt has the potential to be a superstar. Physically, he is an imposing specimen. The only thing separating him from the top two is that he's demonstrated only one running style, which is to be on or near the lead, but boy is he fast. He's dealing with a quarter crack issue that in itself shouldn't hamper him, but if it causes him to miss a work then he may have a problem.
TR Says: Can't fault Steve here. I still like this guy to win the Derby, but I can understand the logic behind others being more favored. I don't mind his early on-the-pace style, as very few Derby winners come from more than 4 lengths back from the leader at any time in the race. However, I'm not thrilled about the crack in his hoof.
4. Dunkirk Todd Pletcher; Unbridled’s Song—Secret Status, by A.P. Indy
Saturday was a big day for him, as the three stakes winners and two of the runners-up were already ahead of him on the earnings list. This keeps him at either No. 17 or 18. He needs similar results next week. The feeling here is that he'll get in and will be extremely dangerous. I'm still not crazy about the three starts, but he is so gifted he just may be able to overcome that, just as Big Brown did last year. Come to think of it, make that the Big 4.
5. Chocolate Candy Jerry Hollendorfer; Candy Ride—Crownette, by Seattle Slew
This is my Derby dark horse. I listed all the things he has going for him in various columns and how well the Santa Anita Derby shaped for him. It was a perfect prep, and with that race under him he should now be ready to peak on Derby Day. This definitely is a horse to watch.
TR Says: I haven't seen much of this horse. But when Steve says stuff like this, you should listen. It's not unlike when in the song Fatty Girl Ludacris says, "N*&ga, shut yo' ass up when you hear a pimp talk."
6.Friesan Fire Larry Jones, A.P. Indy—Bollinger, by Dehere
We know he's extremely talented, but he'll have to be an exceptional horse to win the Derby off a seven-week layoff and never having run farther than 1 1/16 miles. If he pulls it off, you can officially toss the history books.
TR Says: I haven't seen anyone rank this guy lower than third or fourth. Gutsy call by Steve, but he makes a very good point that no one else has made regarding his distance. A lot of columnists were awed by his talent and overlooked that.
7.Desert Party Saeed bin Suroor, Street Cry—Sage Cat, by Tabasco Cat
I still have to stick with him. There are major questions about him returning home after some four months in Dubai, but there are enough positives to take out of his UAE Derby defeat to suggest he could be a legitimate contender. He needs to get back here and start training at Churchill Downs. He'll also need a new jockey.
8.Old Fashioned Larry Jones, Unbridled’s Song—Collect Call, by Meadowlake
There is going to be plenty of pace pressure in the Arkansas Derby and he has to settle and relax off the pace and kick in down the stretch. He can certainly be excused for his last race, and he should be much tougher this time. With the Rebel under him, he is capable of anything on Saturday. He's tight and fit and there shouldn't be any excuses.
Did you notice that he's Dunkirk's half-brother? He was the Derby favorite a month or so ago, then got beaten by a longshot (who is the #9 horse on this list), and others have surpassed him for favoritism. He still has the same amount of talent, just threw in a clunker in his last race.
9.Win Willy McLean Robertson, Monarchos—City Fair, by Carson City
Right now, this is my longshot special. Unless the Rebel was a fluke, he is going to be a major factor in the Arkansas Derby, and it would come as no surprise if he runs another bang-up race. There's a lot to like about this colt, and if he does duplicate his effort in the Rebel, people better start taking him seriously.
You might be interested to know that his dad won the KY Derby in (I think) 2001. I was at that Derby. The most memorable part of that day for me was when I purchased my first pair of molester sunglasses in a KY gas station on the way to Churchill Downs. That really started it all for me.
10.Hold Me Back Bill Mott, Giant’s Causeway—Restraint, by Unbridled’s Song
If I had a No. 2 longshot special it would be him, despite his one bad race on dirt. He just was so visually impressive in the Lane's end Stakes the feeling here is that he's grown up physically and is a much better horse now. We won't know for sure about him regardless of what he does in the Blue Grass, but the unknown factor will keep his odds pretty high in the Derby.
He is technically, the uncle of Dunkirk. Although, I think Dunkirk must have over 100 uncles at this point, some of which are younger than him.
11.Musket Man Derek Ryan; Yonaguska--Fortuesque, by Fortunate Prospect
He's improving with every race, has won at four different tracks, and has now turned in back-to-back big efforts in graded stakes, both over surfaces that can get a little quirky. He's already defied his pedigree by winning impressively going 1 1/8 miles. He hasn't met horses of this quality, but anyone would love to have him in their barn.
12.West Side Bernie Kelly Breen, Bernstein—Time Honored, by Gilded Time
He bounced back off his Lane's End debacle with a big second in the Wood Memorial against the Derby Future Wager favorite. A mile and a quarter against these horses is still a tall order, but he has the right running style and he's earned his chance to try.
Steve Haskins, ladies and gentleman. He'll be here up until the Derby. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
Monday, April 6, 2009
D-bag Scavenger Hunt
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Now that the first day of the Major League Baseball season is over, be on the lookout for played-out D-bag behavior on the second day of the MLB Season.
It is what I call Statistical Extrap-loitation, combining, of course the words "extrapolate" and "exploit", while at the same time giving a veiled tip of the hat to Blaxploitation.
Anyway, it's where someone "hilariously" extrapolates a players first game statistics over the 162 game season. For instance, Alfonso Soriano hit a home run today. Tomorrow some D-bag is gonna be at the water cooler and say "Yeah, did you see Soriano went long? Christ, at this rate he'll finish the season with 162 home runs!" then he open his mouth to illustrate hilarity has just been achieved, and he'll ravenously look the other three water-cooler dwellers in the eye for comedic approval. My friend Hairy (a nickname due to excessive bodily hair) made the "look of approval" famous, but even he never succumbed to the temptation of Statistical Extraploitation stupidity.
The ideal breeding ground for Statistical Extraploitation is of course, a huge first game offensively- Like two homeruns, or 5 RBI or 3 stolen bases. I was busy watching the NCAA game, so I'm not sure if anyone fits the bill, but all it really takes is a home run, and plenty of them were hit on Monday.
Keep an eye for Extraplotative D-Bags. You'll find 'em. And when you do, tell 'em TR Slyder says they're an unoriginal Douchebag.
Some Chicago Awesomeness
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
I stole this from the Chicago Sun-Times. This really hurts that, "Everyone drinks responsibly in Wrigleyville" adage.
Drunken bar patron charged with punching paramedic
An Edgewater neighborhood man originally from Ireland is scheduled to appear in court later Monday after being charged with punching a paramedic in the face during a drunken disturbance at a Wrigleyville bar late Saturday, police said.
Anthony O’Sullivan, 35, of the 6100 block of North Winthrop Avenue and who was born in Ireland, was charged with aggravated battery to first aid personnel, a felony, according to a police report. He is expected to appear in bond court later Monday.
O’Sullivan was arrested at 12:05 a.m. Sunday outside the Irish Oak, 3511 N. Clark St. after police officers responded to a call of a drunken disturbance, according to the report.
A bar employee told police while he was attempting to escort O’Sullivan out of the bar, O’Sullivan allegedly struck him in the face with a closed fist. The employee then hit O’Sullivan in the chest in self-defense, causing him to fall on the ground and hit his head, according to the report.
While inside Chicago Fire Department ambulance 31 being treated O’Sullivan allegedly used his right fist to strike a paramedic below the medic’s right eye, causing abrasions and swelling. O’Sullivan was placed into custody and was taken to Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center for treatment.
The paramedic and the tavern employee refused medical treatment. Belmont Area detectives are investigating.
More Florida Awesomeness
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
When your kid finds your stash of The 'ornography. Don't do this.
Andy yes, it took place in Tampa, FL. The home of Polekat $lim.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I Wanted It, You Got It. More Talkin' Derby
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
This weekend featured one and a half meaninful Derby prep races- the Santa Anita Derby, and the Wood Memorial at Aqueduct. The Santa Anita Derby was the more ballyhooed of the two races because it pitted formidable foes against one another- ThePamplemousse and Pioneer of the Nile. Unfortunately for race fans, ThePamplemousse scratched before the race and is now off the Derby Trail, and is going to rest for 6 months. So that took a lot of the luster off the Santa Anita Derby, which was later won handily by Pioneer of the Nile, who is shaping up to be a major Derby contender, despite never having raced on dirt. The KY Derby is run on dirt, and Santa Anita runs over a synthetic surface. Most horses prefer one to the other and there is no way of predicting how any horse will take to a new surface.
One horse that ran fairly well on synthetic then ran freakishly on dirt was I Want Revenge, who won the Wood Memorial on Saturday. He ran so well in his last two starts (his only on dirt), that he is now considered to be the Derby favorite. Below is the video of his race in the Wood on Saturday. Getting off to a flat-footed start (it looked like the worse just wasn't paying attention or something), he appeared to have no shot to win it. After fighting on gamely, he found himself behind a wall of horses on the home stretch and managed to swing outside and still have energy left to pass the remaining horses. It's a very impressive race, visually.
Given that the Derby has 20 horses in it, the track is always crowded and adversity is the only certainty. So when a horse has a race like this, showing that he is able to overcome adversity and traffic problems, it bodes very well for his Derby chances.
While I think it was an awesome race for a very sound horse, I am not rushing to the betting window for I Want Revenge just yet. Formidable though he is, I haven't seen him beat any top-tier horses on Synthetic or Dirt. Had he raced against Quality Road or Friesan Fire in the Wood, I think we'd be talking about an impressive last-to-second place finish for I Want Revenge.
The other race I mentioned was the ThePamplemousse-less Santa Anita Derby. That is four wins in a row for Pioneer of the Nile, two of them were over I Want Revenge, albeit over synthetic and in December and February. If Pioneer of the Nile puts in a solid workout at Churchill Downs the week of the Derby, he will be a major, major contender.
The knock on him is that, although he wins, he doesn't do so in eye-popping time. Below is his victory in Saturday's Santa Anita Derby.
That win looked a lot like all of his others- nothing fancy. You don't drop your jaw and look at the person standing next to you. Just a very workmanlike win. Every time it looked like a foe was gaining on him he just kicked them away and sped off. Much like Milton Berle, he pulls out just enough to win.
As legitimate of a contender as Pioneer of the Nile is, I just can't feel confident in betting on him until I know how he'll react to the dirt. Last year was Santa Anita's first year using the synthetic surface, so most of the west coast horses coming to the Derby were racing on dirt for the first time, and no one knew how their synthetic races would translate to dirt. Well, they didn't translate very well. It could just be that the dirt horses were better horses than the west coast, synthetic-raced horses, but it wasn't pretty. I lost money betting on synthetic-specialist Colonel John, and vowed to never bet on a Derby horse that had never raced on dirt. Winning the Derby requires an outstanding horse, and getting a few breaks during the race- everything has to go right. Racing a horse over a new surface diminishes the odds of everything going right, in my opinion.
So after this weekend's racing, the Derby stage is pretty well set. Next week there are two prep races, but they are more glorified prep races.What they really are is a last-second cash-grab for horses who don't yet have the requisite earnings to enter the Derby. Racing next weekend will give a horse only three weeks of rest before the Derby. For most horses, having only three weeks to lead up to a race is too short of an interval to produce their highest quality racing. So the top tier horses already won their prep races and have earned some time off, the horses running next weekend probably lost to the aforementioned horses and need to scare up some cash in order to be eligible.
Friday, April 3, 2009
You are in Luck- I'm Talking About Horse Racing Again
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
One of the best parts about the weeks leading up to the KY Derby is reading what Steve Haskins has to say about it. He is back in the habit again, I am glad to say. All you really need to know about him is that he's like the Bob Ross of horse racing. As knowledgeable as he is gentle.
Another thing I admire about Steve is that while most horse racing writers tend to grow bald as they age, Steve still has a thick, full head of hair. As you can plainly tell from the picture, you can see continuous strands of hair from one side of his head to the other, therefore, it is impossible that he is bald, otherwise you'd just see bare head.
KY Derby Earnings
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
I robbed this from thebloodhorse.com. I highlighted (highlit?) Dunkirk at #20 for two reasons. One is that the 20th spot is the cutoff for Derby eligibility (inclusive), and 2) to illustrate where Dunkirk was- since every racing fan wants him in the Derby. Since the odds for Dunkirk remaining in the 20 slot for another 3 weeks are terrible, Dunkirk enthusiasts will have to hope that there are a lot of Derby defections- horses being eligible but opting not to run in the Derby, thereby allowing the horse with the 21st most winnings to enter, etc.
By my un-scientific calculations, there are 7 horses racing this weekend that are behind Dunkirk in earnings. I have italicized their names. I hope none of them earny any money this weekend.
| Kentucky Derby Graded Earnings for Major Contenders (through 03/31/09) | |||
| Rank | Horse | Trainer | Graded Earnings |
| 1 | Regal Ransom | bin Suroor, Saeed | $1,250,000 |
| 2 | Square Eddie | O'Neill, Doug | $774,981 |
| 3 | Pioneerof the Nile | Baffert, Bob | $743,250 |
| 4 | Desert Party | bin Suroor, Saeed | $641,667 |
| 5 | Quality Road | Jerkens, James | $600,000 |
| 6 | Friesan Fire | Jones, J. Larry | $570,465 |
| 7 | Terrain | Stall, Albert | $410,830 |
| 8 | Old Fashioned | Jones, J. Larry | $330,000 |
| 9 | I Want Revenge | Mullins, Jeff | $324,000 |
| 10 | Hold Me Back | Mott, Bill | $288,000 |
| 11 | West Side Bernie | Breen, Kelly | $235,160 |
| 12 | Chocolate Candy | Hollendorfer, Jerry | $220,000 |
| 13 | Bittel Road | Pletcher, Todd | $211,000 |
| 14 | Musket Man | Ryan, Derek | $200,000 |
| 15 | Crowded House (GB) | Meehan, Brian | $195,020 |
| 16 | The Pamplemousse | Canani, Julio | $180,000 |
| 17 | Win Willy | Robertson, McLean | $180,000 |
| 18 | Papa Clem | Stute, Gary | $160,000 |
| 19 | Charitable Man | McGlaughlin, Kiaran | $150,000 |
| 20 | Dunkirk | Pletcher, Todd | $150,000 |
| 21 | Mine That Bird | Woolley, Bennie | $138,705 |
| 22 | Theregoesjojo | McPeek, Ken | $133,063 |
| 23 | General Quarters | McCarthy, Tom | $130,645 |
| 24 | Munnings | Pletcher, Todd | $105,000 |
| 25 | Flying Private | Lukas, D. Wayne | $94,000 |
| 26 | Cribnote | Violette, Rick | $90,000 |
| 27 | Flying Pegasus | Nicks, Ralph | $90,000 |
| 28 | Join in the Dance | Pletcher, Todd | $67,500 |
| 29 | Imperial Council | McGaughey, Shug | $50,000 |
| 30 | Procede Bee | Gestes, Terry | $47,000 |
| 31 | Atomic Rain | Breen, Kelly | $40,000 |
| 32 | Take the Points | Pletcher, Todd | $40,000 |
| 33 | Feisty Suances | Vienna, Darrell | $40,000 |
| 34 | Bear's Rocket | Baker, Reade | $36,000 |
| 35 | Poltergeist | VonHemel, Donnie K. | $30,000 |
| 36 | Lime Rickey | Alexander, Frank | $30,000 |
| 37 | Uno Mas | Asmussen, Steve | $28,000 |
| 38 | Gone Astray | McGaughey, Shug | $27,500 |
| 39 | Nowhere to Hide | Zito, Nick | $27,000 |
| 40 | Rendezvous | Hollendorfer, Jerry | $24,000 |
| 41 | Jeranimo | Pender, Michael | $24,000 |
| 42 | Parade Clown | Ball, Katherine | $23,500 |
| 43 | Patena | Dutrow, Rick | $20,000 |
| 44 | Soul Warrior | Asmussen, Steve | $18,000 |
| 45 | Ventana | Baffert, Bob | $16,600 |
| 46 | Captain Cherokee | Asmussen, Steve | $15,000 |
| 47 | Brave Victory | Zito, Nick | $14,833 |
| 48 | Al Khali | Pletcher, Todd | $0 |
| 49 | Mayor Marv | Baffert, Bob | $0 |
| 50 | Omniscient | Asmussen, Steve | $0 |
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Dear G20 Protesters in London,
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Come one guys, this again? We get it. You weenies do this every year. You don't like the G20 Summit, we get it. It's a lot less shocking when everyone expects it and cops in riot gear are awaiting you. You get "violent" in the street. And by "violent" I mean you break a window at a financial institution or an American-based fats fast food restaurant. Really epic shit, you guys. Seriously. And it's working, too. I just heard Gordon Brown say, "As much as I like your proposal, Mr. Sarkozy, I've just been informed that a scrawny man with a patchy beard and dreadlocks recently threw a rock at a KFC window a few blocks away. Therefore, I am unable to accept your plan." Power to the people!
You school-girls need to up your game or just stay home, eating fish and chips, watching a spot of footie on the telly, and making sure you don't brush your teeth while you listen to Oasis. Is saying, "Financial greed is rubbish! It's total bollocks, innit?" to a cop without a gun really that macho? Blow some shit up for once, get some molotov cocktails out, take some hostages, use a flamethrower or drive a hummer through a McDonalds or Barclay's window or just stay the hell home.
Go big or go home. Christ, FRANCE is better at rioting than you tosspots. You have the balls to celebrate the memory of Guy Fawkes every year, and call this rioting? He'd be ashamed of all of you. You either protest peacefully or you riot. You don't "half-arse" rioting.
Epilogue: As a solutions-oriented complainer, I offer you would-be-protesters a very useful heuristic for shocking people: I call it TR's Oh Ma Gaaaa Shock Heuristic. If you are not 100% that when a woman from the Southside of Chicago witnessed your shocking act would say "Ohhh ma Gaaaaat (i.e. God)" while covering her mouth, then it isn't truly shocking. Let this serve as a carrot to your ass.
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