Thursday, May 20, 2010

Hey Kids, Would you Like to use Your Creativity to Help Your Community and the Gulf Coast??



By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

We all share the Earth, right? We share our Gulf Coast with BP, and BP shares their headquarters and gas stations with us. We are all on this planet together.

All you need to help with the Gulf Coast oil spill is a cardboard stencil, some paint, a hooded sweatshirt, a hat and a friend to be a lookout. Here is the link to a map in the picture above. These areas need your help, as do thousands of others across the country.

Silence is consent- speak loudly. Or as the Chicago Transit Authority instructs its passengers, "If you see something (suspicious), say something". Besides, haven't you always wanted to be more politically active?



From Banging Your Head Against a Brick Wall by Banksy-
A Beginner's Guide to Painting With Stencils:

  • Draw or copy your image on a piece of paper.
  • Glue the paper onto a bit of card(board) using good glue.
  • Cut straight through the drawing and card at the same time using a very sharp knife. Snap off blades are the best. The sharper the knife the better the stencil looks. As the Grim Reaper said to his new apprentice: "You must learn the compassion suitable to your trade- a fucking sharp edge."
  • Ideal card should be about 1.5mm thick- much fatter and it's too difficult and boring to cut through. Any thinner and it gets sloppy too quick.
  • Find an unassuming piece of card as a folder to hold your stencil in and leave the house before you think of something more comfortable you could be doing.
  • Get a small roll of gaffa tape and pre-tear small strips ready to attach stencil to wall.
  • Shake and test can of paint before you leave. Cheap British paint is fine but some brands bleed more than others. Matt finish comes out better and dries quicker.
  • Apply paint sparingly.
  • Wear a hat.
  • Move around the city quickly. Acting like a sad old drunk if you attract attention.
  • Pace yourself and repeat as often as you feel inadequate and no one listens to a word you say.

Thing globally, act locally. The sea turtles would thank you if they could talk. And weren't dead from suffocating from the crude oil in their respiratory systems.















That's how I roll.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Mayor Daley is Dumber Than 95% of Zoo Inhabitants


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


You've heard of Chicago, right? The city whose leaders have speculated whether or not we need the National Guard to come save us from ourselves and our vomit-ably bad government? The city whose Mayor uses TIF slush funds to channel floods of cash to his cronies while the poor live in a DMZ? And the worst city in the world north of Juarez in which to be the Superintendent of police.

Mayor Daley just suggested he take a pay cut.


In related news, $25 for an 18" x 40" print of the image above seems pretty reasonable. Good lookin out, Ray.


"Deride and Conquer" -Banksy







That's how I roll.

My Mock-Mock Draft Blog




By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Last night the NBA held their annual draft lottery. Equally as traditional, and far less fortunate, is the next day when every sports website that blows offers their mock draft. Sports websites, television shows and the like offer up a lot of hot air, but mock drafts may be the hottest.

Maybe Mel Kiper and Jimmy Clausen ring a bell. Or maybe Darko Milicic sounds more familar.

Many of my readers are familiar with the definition of insanity: repeating the same action over and over and expecting a different result. Allow me speak from soapbox of sanity: No one will accurately predict the draft lottery. Ever.

Mock draft boards exist because sports media has to talk about something. They need a new headline on their website, they need a teaser on their radio show to get you to tune after these not important messages. The truth remains that 0 readers have benefited from a mock draft. Much like weathermen, but less altruistic, the blowhard "journalists" know that they don't have to be correct in their picks because all they have to say to their criticis is, "Give me a break! Like you could do any better! You cannot reasonably expect me to predict it accurately!"

Therein lies the rub.

Furthermore, the draft "debate" is inane because we will know the answer in a few months. The draft will happen, and every question will be answered. Rational people save heated debate for the theoretical, or things that are not provable: should we have bailed out the banks, was Warhol good or bad for modern art, was Bob Gibson's prime better than Koufax's, could Secretariat beat Gallant Fox, etc.

To revert to my weatherman analogy- no one debates the weather. While meteorologists may vary in their opinion of tomorrow's forecast, they don't pontificate with their selections. They give their rationale, give their informed opinion, they shut the hell up afterward. And those are scientists! At least when horse racing experts give you their predictions, their accuracy can make you money.

Sports "journalists" have the balls to think the following: 1) we should take their guesses as fact, 2) that only their draft board is the correct one, 3) that this sort of thing is able to be predicted with any accuracy, 4) this is an intellectual endeavor worth undertaking.

We WILL know the answer in a few months. Why speculate or get your hopes up/down for your team based on some scrotum's prediction?

Lastly, while presenting this argument to the aforementioned predictors they would most likely respond with, "give me a break. I am in the entertainment business. We have 800 words to write/3 hours of airtime to fill. We gotta talk about something." To which the rational counter is: Then maybe your column/radio show shouldn't be so long.

If you have so much free time that hearing a grown man play Sports Nostradamus entertains you, I invite you to not reproduce, although your velcro shoes are lovely.








That's how I roll.

Putting it Down for my People People in 513

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I just found out that Freekbass did a song called "Reds Fan". I wish they had more songs on YouTube, but I will take what I can get for now.

In honor of the Reds being in first place in the NL Central (for now), I thought I'd post it.



And this saaaang belaaaaaannnngs to the Reds.





That's how I roll.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Florida Being Florida.....Again


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy: If you've ever tased a Wendy's employee for incorrectly processing your order, you might be a Florida resident.

The taser became enraged when she wasn't given what she thought was the proper amount of mustard and mayonnaise packets, proving once again that you gotta fight for your right to obesity.

Update: Police have confirmed the woman was tased and not Toews'd.

Update update: Authorities now speculate that one way to avoid a fats food employee screwing up your order is to make your own food.







That's how I roll.

Great Photo of Aramis Ramirez's Walkoff HR by the Chicago Tribune

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I am all about giving credit when and where it is due. It is due. I just don't know where because I couldn't find it on the ChicagoTribune.com (where these two pics came from), and I would love to give someone credit for it. I am sorry for not acknowledging a job well done, Trib photographer, but I assure you I am not profiting from your good work.

Those two photos arranged like that is great work.








That's how I roll.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Cool View From my Plane



By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I wish this picture had come out better, but my camera phone isn't the highest-powered camera of all time.

It's the Willis (formerly Sears) Tower sticking up through the clouds.







That's how I roll.

How T.R. Got His Preak On

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


My Dad's friend has had Preakness seats for a long time and invited us out. So we went. It was my first time at the Preakness and and Pimlico. Leading up to the race all everyone told me, my Dad's friend included, was to not get my hopes up about Pimlico- it's a dump.

We got there Friday on Black-Eyed Susan Day. Here were our seats.


Yes, that is the finish line right in front of us (and that little booth thing on the bottom right that you can't see all that well is the television camera fixed on the wire). So we got there and I couldn't believe how awesome our seats were and how empty the place was. As you can we were inside and we were on the third level. I had never had such good seats for any race ever, much less on the day of a Grade 2 race like the Black Eyed Susan.

I asked my dad's friend how he got those awesome seats and he had a funny story about them. He said that about 20 years ago he asked a higher-up at the company he worked for if he could help him out with some seats for the Preakness and he told him, "I will get right back to you about that." Upon getting back to him he said, "A trainer by the name of XXX canceled his seats. Call Pimlico race track and tell them you would like them and they are yours." So he called them up and they were his. The next year he received a letter asking him if he would like to renew his seats again for that year's Preakness. That is all it took to get seats on the wire for a triple crown race.




This was the section directly across the aisle from our awesome seats. Oh, this was taken on Preakness day. The seats closest to the camera are right on top of the wire and the furthest seats are just past the wire. As you may be able to ascertain, it wasn't all that crowded. When a huge block of some of the best seats in the stadium, your business could probably do better.

Which brings me to my next point about Pimlico: My complaints.

Pimlico wasn't god awful, but it could very easily be twice as good with a few minor tweaks.

1. We couldn't hear the track announcer from our seats. That's a big problem. The sound was piped in, but was hardly audible. It sucked.

2. Not only could we hardly hear the track announcer, but they never told you when the race was about to start (we would have been able to faintly hear an announcement, but there were none). Post Time was posted on a few different tote boards, but when your nose is buried in your Racing Form, it's nice to have an auditory reminder to go bet. It's good business for the track to announce when the race is about to start because when they say, "4 minutes until Post Time" what they mean is, "Hurry up and get your bets in, everyone.". Pimlico didn't do that and of the four people in our party, someone got shut out at the ticket window about 3 times, costing Pimlico precious money that they can't afford to lose.

Saratoga does a much better job of this and I took it for granted. You hear, "5 minutes until post time", then you'll hear, "It is now Post time." or "The horses have reached the starting gate, they're at the post". Which means, "5 minutes to bet", "hurry up and bet, you're lucky the race hasn't gone off yet." and, "you've got about 30 seconds to get your bet in.", respectively.

3. Obstructed views. Not only couldn't we hear the announcer from our seats, but we can't even see the backstretch due to all of the tents and other stuff- and we were on the third level! It's hard to feel like you are watching the race live when you can't hear see the whole race or hear any of it. I watched most of the races on the television monitors.

4. The tote board. No where was I able to see how much money was in the win, place, show or exacta pools- not on the toteboard itself on the infield, or on any tv monitor that I saw at any part of the track. On the off-chance an informed bettor ever went to Pimlico, I bet they would wish they could see that.

Also stinky about their toteboard is how they display the exacta probable payouts. They display it in the usual way: with the horses numbered vertically down the left-hand margin. It might look something like this for a 9 horse field. Then where it says "exacta will pay 2 and" will eventually scroll to "Exacta will pay 3 and", etc. until they show you every combination over the course of maybe 5 minutes of scrolling through all the choices.

win odds: Exacta will pay 2 and
1. 5-2 35
2. 10-1 X
3. scratched scratched
4. 9-5 22
5. 4-1 45
6. 8-1 75
7. scratched scratched
8. scratched scratched
9. 15-1 155

This is where my complaint comes in. It's customary for the scrolling board to simply skip over the scratched horses. For instance, in this example it would go from showing the probably willpays from the 2 directly to the 4. Since the 3 is scratched, he will not be in the exacta and displaying his will pays would be a waste of everyone's time.

Well, at Pimlico they show you anyway.

So it will say
win odds: Exacta will pay 7 and
1. 5-2 scratched
2. 10-1 scratched
3. scratched scratched
4. 9-5 scratched
5. 4-1 scratched
6. 8-1 scratched
7. scratched X
8. scratched scratched
9. 15-1 scratched

then after it finishes cycling through the 7 willpays, it will go on to show the same thing for the scratched 8 horse. For them to show that is unthinkably irrational.

5. There were no restrooms on the third level.


Those 5 things were exceptionally irritating and would be so easy to fix. Let's step it up a bit Pimlico, but otherwise I had an outstanding time.








That's how I roll.

The Chicago Banksy and a Very Handsome Blogger




By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


I checked out the Chicago Banksy today. It was awesome. It's right in the Fulton Market district, which is one of my favorite areas of the city. Thank you to the friendly bystander and fellow Banksy enthusiast for taking these pictures and suggesting the pose in the top picture.








That's how I roll.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Jupiter Lost one if its Rings


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter



Seriously. That's kinda awesome.








That's how I roll.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Free Preakness PP's Available


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


While the entrants are not yet official for the Preakness, the Past Performances of the likely entrants is available at the Daily Racing Form's website.






That's how I roll.

Cool Bannerhead Logo on the Chicago Tribune Today


I like it.

ChicagoTribune.com


I wouldn't mind if the feathers were hanging from the, "C" in, "Chicago" and the, "T" of, "Tribune" were a Taser. As in "Don't Toews me bro".



By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter






That's how I roll.

England Being England


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


Regrettably, I was watching CNN's resident drunk driving homicide expert, Rick Sanchez, interview an Englishman about England's new PM, Davide Cameron making strange bedfellows with the Liberal party and their leader, Nick Clegg.

The Englishman effectively said, "These are two unlikely groups to make friends with one another, we will see how long the honeymoon lasts. Some people think this could explode." After he said as much he threw in, "...it is what some people in the English media are calling 'The Poisoned Chalice.'."

You can't always count on England to be awesome, but you can ALWAYS count on England to be England. The country that is, not Lynndie England.









That's how I roll.

Loyal Divide, Vision Vision video

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

This video is weird, then cool, then you realize what's going on, and it's crazy awesome. You may prefer watching it on full screen, which means you'll have to watch it on vimeo.com.

If you don't see what's going on, scroll down to the very bottom after the video, read the spoiler, then re-watch.

hat tip to Tello Real for schoolin me to this one.


Loyal Divide - Vision Vision (Directed by BBGUN) from bbgun on Vimeo.



Spoiler Below:






further below







further




closer




ok: the catch is that the video is just real dudes dressed in black with white stripes on their black clothes. There is very, very, very little animation done.




That's how I roll.

Pin the Tail on the Jackass: Would you Support This Mystery Baseball Team?


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


There is an MLB team that is the following:

3rd in team payroll with $146 mil. (see below, win %age inserted next to team name)
1st in ticket average ticket price ($52.56, SPOILER ALERT IF YOU CLICK THE LINK)
2nd in total cost to take a family of 4 to a game ($329.74, $5 shy of first place)
tied f0r 23rd best record in baseball (out of 30 teams) with a winning %age of .424.

1. Could you make a case for any team's general manager being worse?
2. Would you support this team?
3. (Spoiler alert if you click here) By the way, they have about 2 players worth watching.
4. They haven't won a world series in over 100 years.
5. The sizes of hot dogs at their stadium should be small, medium, large, Prince Fielder's Choice.
6. #5 was just something I threw in that wasn't totally related.


2010 Team Payrolls
No.Team Current Win %
PayrollAverage
1.New York Yankees .677
$206,333,389$8,253,336
2.Boston Red Sox .515
$162,747,333$5,611,977
3.XXXXXX .424
$146,859,000 $5,439,222
4.Philadelphia Phillies .625
$141,927,381$5,068,835
5.New York Mets .531 $132,701,445$5,103,902
6.Detroit Tigers .563
$122,864,929$4,550,553
7.Chicago White Sox .406
$108,273,197$4,164,354
8.Los Angeles Angels .441
$105,013,667$3,621,161
9.Seattle Mariners .387
$98,376,667$3,513,452
10.San Francisco Giants .600
$97,828,833$3,493,887
11.Minnesota Twins .656
$97,559,167$3,484,256
12.Los Angeles Dodgers .469
$94,945,517$3,651,751
13.St. Louis Cardinals .625
$93,540,753$3,741,630
14.Houston Astros .323 $92,355,500$3,298,411
15.Atlanta Braves .438
$84,423,667$3,126,802
16.Colorado Rockies .469
$84,227,000$2,904,379
17.Baltimore Orioles .281
$81,612,500$3,138,942
18.Milwaukee Brewers .469
$81,108,279$2,796,837
19.Cincinnati Reds .531
$72,386,544$2,784,098
20.Kansas City Royals .344
$72,267,710$2,491,990
21.Tampa Bay Rays .688
$71,923,471$2,663,832
22.Toronto Blue Jays .559
$62,689,357$2,089,645
23.Washington Nationals .563
$61,425,000$2,047,500
24.Cleveland Indians .379
$61,203,967$2,110,482
25.Arizona Diamondbacks .424
$60,718,167$2,335,314
26.Florida Marlins .469
$55,641,500$2,060,796
27.Texas Rangers .563
$55,250,545$1,905,191
28.Oakland Athletics .531
$51,654,900$1,666,287
29.San Diego Padres .613
$37,799,300$1,453,819
30.Pittsburgh Pirates .438
$34,943,000$1,294,185









That's how I roll.

2 new Banksy pieces

























By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


courtesey of Maxwell Colette's Flickr page


And this just days after finding a Blagojevich bomb was put up in Lakeview, presumably done by CRO.














That's how I roll.

I'm Gonna Beat WhereAwesome Happens Investigation: "I'm Gonna Beat the Fu&%$ing Mexican Piss Out of you, Homey. You Feel me?" Edition


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


Click Here and at the 1:13 mark you will hear a Seattle cop tell a hispanic man, "I'm gonna beat the f&%#ing mexican piss outta you, homey. You feel me?". (sadly, I cannot embed the video here in the article, you'll have to open it in a new tab and watch it).

But it gets better, and this is where the investigation comes in. At the 1:21 our whitey news reporter is saying, "....watch what happens when our officer threatens to, quote, beat the effing mexican piss out of you, homey". Let's face it, its awkward/hilarious to hear a reporter say that. Aafter he says that, the reporter pauses for a beat or two before beginning with, "as the uncuffed detainee". It REALLY REALLY REALLY sounds like the reporter is smiling. That might sound weird at first, but you know how you can 'hear' someone smiling- their mouth shape changes the tonal quality of their voice slightly enough that you can detect a difference. when he says, "as the uncuffed" he makes as a 3 syllable word, "a-a-as" almost like it has a "ha ha ha" kinda tone.

Well, I think the reporter has it. To me it sounds like he before the camera started rolling he called his buddies at the bar and said, "Swear to God I am not making this up: I convinced my boss to let me say ON AIR, 'I'm going to beat the effing mexican piss out of you homey'. SWEAR. TO. GOD. Tune in at 11. Make sure everyone at the bar sees it. I gotta go."

Then after he said it on air he thought to himself, "My God I have done it!"







That's how I roll.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Blagojevich Tag Now in Lincoln Park (well Lakeview, technically)!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


I was walking west on Diversey today (a block west of Clark) and what do I see in an alley but the work of my favorite Chicago graffiti artist?





Here was my view from Diversey




























And upon closer inspection:

A little Jailhouse Rock motif for our Elvis-loving-soon-to-be-jailed, ex-governor.


Job well done, Ray. Thanks for bombing where I live! It looks great.




That's how I roll.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Where Are They Now?: Baby from Nirvana's Nevermind Album Cover Edition























By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


According to Shephard Fairey- the baby from the cover is now 19 years old and works for him doing street art:

Now I have a crew of about four art assistants who help me do the murals on the street and everything. One of them was actually the baby on the cover of Nirvana’s Nevermind [1991]. He’s 19, and he’s really into drawing and street art and all that stuff.











That's how I roll.

Vote for the Best Tecmo Bowl Players

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter


Lawrence Taylor being in the news got me thinking about something: Tecmo Bowl. I was surprised that I couldn't find any lists of the best Tecmo Bowl players except for this respectable video.




I decided to vote for best offensive player and best defensive player. If I leave any players out, let me know in the comments or via email or twitter and I will add them if they belong on the list.

The list is:

Offensive:

Bo Jackson
Jerry Rice
Walter Payton
Herschel Walker
Kevin Mack
Anthony Carter
Webster Slaughter

Defensive:

Lawrence Taylor
Ronnie Lott
Mike Singletary
Hanford Dixon/Frank Minniefield
Darrell Green
Dexter Manley




That's how I roll.