Sunday, January 4, 2009

FINALLY: a Decent Excuse to Show These Pics Again!


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Lynndie, you personify female sophistication. Classy, educated, dignified, ethical, pulchritudinous, an underlying air of sexual coyness, confident, accomplished, and cosmopolitan. You make me thank God and Baby Jesus everyday for making me a heterosexual male.

To paraphrase Billy Joel, "She lead prisoners of war around on leashes, that much, she'll tell ya/she had a cigarette hangin' from her mouth as she double-pointed at their exposed genitalia/She also forced inmates to form pyramids while naked, that ended badly/And her Commanding Officer is her baby-daddy/She did time/For war crimes/But she's always a woman to me"

P.S. You were interviewed in The Guardian on Saturday.


I will never forgive you if you don't read the interview, but in case you don't, I'll provide my favorite tidbits. Or, as tween girls say, "my faves".

-Lynndie lives in her hometown still and lives in an adjacent trailer park lot to mother. She also spends a lot of time trying to not run into old high school acquaintances. Hmmmm. Just a thought, she is living in the WORST CITY IN THE WORLD to do that in. Every single city in the entire planet is better to do that in. If you don't want to see them, maybe you should live in a different city. Something to think about. That's like saying "I really, really hope I don't see any animals today." Then walking into a zoo and being upset that you saw animals again there.

- As a convicted felon, Lynndie is not allowed to own a gun, which means that she cannot participate in one of her favorite hobbies, hunting. About having that that right revoked she said, "That pissed me off; made me so mad." What she liked about hunting, she says, was "the going out, being in the woods. Time to think, being out in nature. I love it. Now I can't do that." Now, I'm may not be renkowned naturalist, but I am nearly positive that you can be in nature, think in nature and, yes, even love nature without a gun. A gun is designed to destroy, maim and kill, it is not some kind of medium, that when held, allows one to enjoy, the otherwise unenjoyable nature. In fact, it is designed to destroy things in nature.

- When referring to a fellow female, Abu Ghraib U.S. solider, Megan Ambuhl, who was not convicted of any wrongdoing, who, despite allegations she participated in mistreating inmates, never appeared in any photographs, , England says, "She didn't plan that. It just happened. She wasn't clever. She's a pothead. She was just there. She wasn't in a lot of photos because she didn't want to be. She would just walk away." Um, that sounds a lot more clever than smiling and giving a thumb's up. Like, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot more clever.

- Oh wow. This part isn't just awesome, it's "aweshome". Lynndie's Commanding Officer that KU'd her, was two-timing her the whole time with Ambuhl, picture at right. What a saucy little number, she is.



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