I Accidentally Thought of This and I'm STILL Disappointed in Myself

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Since Chastity Bono is getting a sex change operation to become a man, I think she should change her name to Chaspectoraly Bono.

I won't elaborate on that one, but I will apologize.

I'm sorry you had to read that.

Brenden Fraser is BACK!!!!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


I've said it before and I will say it again: The three biggest cinema stars in my lifetime are Frankie Muniz, Johnathon Brandis and Brenden Fraser.

Fraser is back in a new movie starring Brooke Shields called "Vengence". Here is a description of his juicy/meaty role:

Brendan Fraser is playing the lead in Roger Kumble's film, which centers on a real estate developer who gets more than he bargained for from a band of raccoons when he pushes too hard into more pristine territory. Shields will play Tami Sanders, the wife of Fraser's character.


I am sure there are some people out there with no eye for cinematic genius that think that this role sounds lame, befitting an actor of Fraser's status, but that's not the case. Its such a challenging role to make this character awesome, that the casting agent KNEW that there was only one man alive (not named Frankie Muniz) that could bring this humble character to, not only life, but to the Mount Olympus of historic characters in cinema. That man is Brendan Fraser.


Here he is acting like a scrotum on drugs in a setting where he does not belong.

Fatness in the News Today

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Tim Magazine asks Why Are Southerners So Fat?

Today's Chicago Tribune had a link saying, "1 in 4 Illinoisians Declared Fat", which brought you to the page I linked. The link has a different headline, but the teaser from Tribune page had me thinking.

I wonder if they were declared obese like from medical testing measured against a standard definition for obesity, or if someone dressed up like a king with a red, velvety cape, a crown and scepter and walked around Illinois "declaring" people obese right off the street. The "King" could make it sound all regal, and use a stuffy British accent to make his very loud and bold public declaration, preferably starting with "Hear ye, hear ye...". I hope they also announced the date in super long form like, "It is on this 9th day of the 7th month of the Solar Calendar, in the year of our Lord that is the Two thousand and ninth, the I do declare, under auspices of the Queen, myself and the Incorporated State of Illinois...."

Then maybe he could boldly proclaim his rationale for his declaration, "Due to a buttocks that is reminiscent of a sack of wet laundry, triceps that could feed a cannibalistic tee-ball team, and waist line that would not fit inside of an inner tube, I, the King, declare you obese!"




For information on my Fighting Childhood Obesity Iniatitive, click here

Question

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Why does every rapper want to get into acting, but no performers in any other genre want to?

Happy Birthday and Anniversay, Sarah

Happy Birthday!


Happy Anniversary to you and Michael!


Limpet

My Baloney Died

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Oscar Mayer died today.

He died at home of natural causes. He was brought to the hospital but was DOA. He also had a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.

In a related story- One time I was in New Jersey with my cousins when we got a flat tire. While walking along the highway to get to a tire store, we heard a car honk at us. It was a rude, "watch where you're going, asshole!" honk, it was a friendly, "hey, I know you!" honk. That type of honk surprised us because we didn't know anyone in New Jersey and were just visiting. We turned around to see it was the Wienermobile. That's my best New Jersey memory.

Destino: Salvador Dali and Walt Disney Collaboration

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I had no idea this existed. This is pretty effing rad.



You can read a bit about this surprising collaboration here.

New Website That Kicks Fanny

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Dan Abram's new website Mediaite kicks hiney. It's all about the media and the business of the media. It's kind of a meta-look at the media. It's good. I recommend checking out the PowerGrids.

One disclaimer: If you don't like websites about the media that kick hiney, you won't like this website.

A 'Little' Theory About Semantics

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Semantics are a big deal in our society.

For instance: I'm convinced that semantics are the only hangup with the passing of gay marriage legislation. Why? Because here is every gay marriage argument ever.

ProPerson: Gay Marriage should be legal.
ConPerson: No. Marriage is between a man and a woman, the bible says so.

If instead of "marriage" they called themselves, "Contractual Homies", the Con argument would fall apart. The bible never says anything about Contractual Homies. It doesn't harm the sanctity of "marriage" because being Contractual Homies isn't the same as marriage *wink*. Problem solved.

The reason I mention that is because a group of little people is asking the FCC to ban the word, "midget" from the airwaves. I'm ok with that, if the majority of little people are offended by that, then that word should be banned. It's easy enough to call them 'little people' instead. No skin off my nose.

But I was trying to figure out why that word is offensive. It doesn't have any inherent connotation that 'little people' couldn't later adopt. The words 'moron', 'idiot', and 'imbecile' originated as clinical words used for different classifications of mental retardation- they eventually morphed into pejoratives. I'm afraid that little people are likely to always be considered an 'outgroup' and be regarded as oddballs, comedic or something slightly less than human.

That's where I think semantics can help. I think part of what makes the literal word "midget" pejorative is the ending. What other words end in -et, (or at least that sound)?

Nugget, cutlet, marionette, pipette, kitchenette, etc. I'm sure I'm forgetting plenty.

The point is they're all dimuntives- a little cut, little pipe, little kitchen, (nugget is different, and I have no idea what "Marion" is in French, but you get the point). The word "midget" just sounds like it denotes something little.

I think we should think of a new word to replace "midget" but something menacing- like the names of groups of bad guys/things in movies or like a dinosaur- something with a K sounds or two, or a V sound and ending in -or preferably. Like Klovaktors or Rokalktors or something. That's just a menacing sounding name. If you heard that every Wednesday from 9-midnight a bar had Rokalktor Tossing, at first you'd think, "Dayyyum! You'd have to be a bad mother fucking to throw a Rokalktor!!" then you'd realize that it means little person, and you'd think, "Eh, I guess most people could throw one. But man, that sounds difficult."

Giving little people a bad ass nickname would be like semantic reparations. We can do this.

New Nickname Proposal to Replace "The Governator"

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

How about, "The Moronator"?

How is the media not calling him out more? What state would be more difficult to bankrupt that California??? They have every taxable revenue a state can possibly imagine: countless varaties of agriculture- both terrestrial and aquatic, major tourism, an impossible concentration of super-wealthy residents to tax (not to mention they're a left-leaning state who doesn't mind higher taxation), and nearly the entire movie and music recording industry, several major professional sports franchises, a thriving alcohol-producing industry and I'm sure I've left tons out.

You can't take all of that and keep the state un-bankrupt? Are you fucking kidding? This has got to be some kind of joke.

A New Sub-Species of Monkey was Discovered in Brazil

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

It's pretty ugly, but it's still a monkey.

Great PR Week for Goldman Sachs

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

First this convincing article that assert that Goldman Sachs is responsible for engineering and profiteering from every major financial bubble, and its subsequent bursting, since the depression.

Now it's top-secret trading algorithm has been purloined.

Good luck with all that, guys.

Still Don't Think That Silvio Berlusconi is Awesome?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Then how would you explain this??

Berlusconi taking for topless model to escort him to G8 Summit.

I Accidentally Thought of This.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You know those Sex and The City t-shirts that say "I'm a Charlotte" or "I'm a Samantha"? I think they should have a line of those shirts for the Facts of Life.

I still can't decided whether I'd rather rock the shirt that says, "I'm a Tootie" or, "I'm a Mrs. Garrett". But I'd totally rock one of them. Maybe I'd buy both and wear one over the other depending on my mood. Like if I were gonna rollerskate I'd go with the Tootie tee, but if I were gonna discipline a bunch of teenage girls in school uniforms I'd go with Mrs. G.

But if I were gonna smoke me a li'l good-ass weed, I'd probably go with "I'm a Tumpy"

My Favorite Michael Jackson Cover

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Amy Winehouse and Charlotte Church singing Beat It. (previously mentioned here).

Blind Stupidity Yields Undesirable Results: The Breeder's Cup Story

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


The below headline and accompanying article (taken from here). Actually made me glad. As much as I love horse racing, I cannot imagine a sport, or any commodity for that reason, managed more poorly than the sport of horse racing. Last year's Breeders' Cup as well as this years, were/will be held at Santa Anita, a track with a synthetic racing surface, as opposed to traditional dirt. This befuddling decision left many (many of the few remaining, that is) to either drastically decrease their wagers, or abandon betting on the Breeders' Cup altogether. Just as you would feel less comfortable betting on a football game played on gravel, the betting contingent felt equally as hesitant to part with their hard-earned cash over a surface where many horses had never ran.

Worse yet, can the horse racing decision makers even be surprised by that? So what did they do remedy that problem? Ran it at Santa Anita again. You deserve these problems, Horse Racing.

Breeders' Cup Faces, 'substantial deficit'

By Matt Hegarty

LEXINGTON, Ky. - The Breeders' Cup is operating at a "substantial deficit," according to its top official, and it is becoming increasingly likely that purses for its top events and supplemental stakes program will need to be cut to return the organization to financial stability, according to several of its directors.

The question of how to address the deficit is the backdrop to an election Thursday to fill six of the board's 13 seats. Ten candidates are vying for the seats, including four members whose terms expire that day.

The Breeders' Cup weathered a near revolt among its nominators late last year when it attempted to suspend a $6 million supplemental purse program, but the sustained recession leaves purse cuts as one of the few options to control expenses without further dipping into its depressed reserves, board members said. The Breeders' Cup expects to distribute $30.5 million in purses this year. In 2005, purse distribution was $21.8 million.

"There's no way we can continue operating our company with the deficits we've had," said Terry Finley, the owner of West Point Thoroughbreds and a director of the company. "There's obviously going to be some changes to the business and tweaks to the model. We're all of the same opinion that everything is on the table. We wouldn't be doing our jobs if that wasn't the case."

According to the organization's financial statements for 2008, the Breeders' Cup had negative cash flow last year of $7.5 million, reducing its cash balance to $1.2 million by year end. In large part, that reduction was caused by a fall-off in the value of its investments, a change that reduced net assets to $28.2 million, down from $40.9 million at the end of 2007. In response, the Breeders' Cup tapped a $10 million line of credit for $5.9 million to operate this year.

Greg Avioli, the chief executive officer of the Breeders' Cup, declined to answer direct questions last week but said in a statement that the group was operating at a "substantial deficit." Previously, in a letter to nominators that accompanied the group's annual financial documents, Avioli projected a $5.6 million budget deficit this year. In the statement last week, Avioli said that Breeders' Cup officials "expect that our 2009 results will be consistent with the budget."

"We will be in a better position to comment on long-term financial matters after we have completed 2009 foal nominations, which we believe will be the most direct indicator of the effect the recession will have on finances in future years," Avioli said in the statement.

Approximately 40 percent of Breeders' Cup revenues are derived from fees paid by owners of foals and stallions. According to officials, revenues from those sources are expected to drop by at least 20 percent, largely because stallion nominations are tied to stud fees and book size, which have fallen significantly.

Satish Sanan, a board member whose term expires next year, said that the $6 million line of credit was not an indication that the Breeders' Cup position had become precarious. Instead, Sanan said, tapping the line of credit is a prudent strategy to cover expenses at a time of little revenue - between the year-end championship event and the collection of nomination fees in late summer.

Sanan, the owner of Padua Stables, has been an outspoken critic of the way the group has managed its investment funds. He said he was preparing a strategic plan that would allow the Breeders' Cup to realize additional revenues from sponsorships and the year-end event. He also said that purses appear to be destined for cuts.

"The logical place to start is the purses," Sanan said. "You don't have to have a $5 or $6 million Classic; horses will still come if it's worth $3 million or $4 million. But that is only short-term."

Sanan would not comment further on his strategic plan, which is to be presented to the board on Thursday.

The recession has had a crippling effect on sponsorship revenue in other sports, and some Breeders' Cup directors said that revenues from the year-end event will likely be less than last year, partly because of a compensation requirement to Santa Anita Park. The requirement is part of a two-year agreement to hold the year-end event at the track, which guarantees Santa Anita specific returns. The Breeders' Cup did not hit those returns last year and will need to compensate the track this year accordingly, one director said. In 2008, revenue from the year-end event was $21.2 million, down 9 percent compared with 2007. Since then, wagering on domestic horse races has declined just over 10 percent, including a 17 percent drop in June. The bulk of the event revenues are collected from wagering.

E. Duncan Taylor, a co-owner of Taylor Made Farms who is a candidate for one of the open seats, said that it was possible to increase revenues from the year-end event and possibly avoid purse cuts. He said it would take "foresight and brainstorming," and he also said that it would be nearly impossible to extract more revenue from nominators. The nominators provided $21.5 million in fees in 2008 compared with $29.5 million in purse expenses and awards. Fees are expected to be only approximately $16 million in 2009 compared with the $30.5 million purse distribution.

"You can't ask the nominators to put up more money," Taylor said. "They've already primed the pump. And they are going through tough times."

Robert T. Manfuso, a director who is up for re-election, said that he does not anticipate that the bloodstock market will rebound anytime soon, citing the persistence of the economic doldrums affecting markets worldwide. As a result, he said, the Breeders' Cup has little to no chance to grow its revenue, and purse cuts have to be considered, no matter how much resistance nominators may offer.

"There are constituents out there whose concerns we will have to address," Manfuso said. "How we address those, and how we maintain our focus on our mission, is the big question. But sometimes people forget that the mission of the Breeders' Cup is to raise awareness of Thoroughbred racing. It's not just purses. That's our job, and when we do our job right, everyone benefits."

Time for Hypocrisy

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

After having posted the preceding post, this may seem hypocritical. It isn't that I care about celebrity lives, or even care to meet any of them, but I do find articles about them behaving badly to be amusing, just as it amuses me when people I know behave badly.

That being said, if you are similar, you will waste 3 hours at this site. (click the "older posts" link at the bottom of the page)

It's a blog called Crazy Days and Nights that has for years been providing "blind items" about celebrities. I'd read them on Gawker.com which offers blind items every day, roughly have of them are from this particular blog. Well today Crazy Days and Nights decided to provided the "answers" for years of their blind items, revealing who they bits were about. It's amusing so I wanted to pass it along.

Steve McNair Death Edition Soundoff

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

It's too bad that he died and in such grisly fashion.

But the media is being moronic yet again. Their coverage is also poor because it reminds us all too well that all sports journalists are still conrtolled by their inner 11-year old self, who idolizes their sports heroes, assumes they're great men and would make great dads, and fall asleep in their sports-themed pajamas every night.

Get over it guys. I hear sports talking-heads saying things about McNair's death to the effect of, "Wow. You know, we thought we knew this guy. I mean, he was a great family-man, did so much for the community, and no we find out that he was murdered by his girlfriend. Who knows what other kind of shady activities he may have partaken of. Sadly, this doubt will tarnish a legacy of a great man.". When I hear that kind of dumb crap it reminds me of when someone (usually women) come to your place for the first, or any place new for that matter, and say, "Oh wow. This is totally different than how I pictured it!" The first thing I think when I hear that is, "Why the HELL did you bother to imagine my apartment?" Was any good going to come of it? Was there any chance you'd be 100% correct? If so, who cares? Do you really have THAT much spare time? I mean, really. What the hell?

That's how I view "getting to know" celebrities or atheletes. Who cares? Even if you loved how Steve McNair threw a football to a man wearing pads, a helmet and spandex pants, why do you care if he was having an affair? Why did journalists bother to try to carve out this man's identity and feel they knew him? Now they're finding out that the information they imagined/assumed/were fed by McNair's handlers didn't reveal every dark nuance of his life and I'm supposed to care that they're pajama-wearing, jersey-sniffing asses were surprised that they didn't know everything about him and are saddened?

Don't assume we're all as stupid and celebrity-worshiping and fame-blinded as you are.

T.R. Salutes: Ghoulies

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Best movie poster of all time. I remember seeing this on the shelf at the video rental place when I was Kindergarten and just being mesmerized. I had no idea that adults could have ideas that were as disgustingly silly as the ones my friends and I had. I never wound up seeing the movie, but it could never live up to my expectations that the poster created. I don't want a story arch, static and dynamic characters, rising action, protagonist, antagonist, falling action, a love interest, a beginning, middle and an end.

I just like green dudes coming out of toilets hinting that they'll bite your buns. That's all I need, really.

Is the Most Interesting Man in the World a More Interesting Man, than Joe Camel is an Interesting Camel?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I could really go either way with this one as they both have the obvious merits. However, I've met and heard of a lot of men I thought were interesting, with TMIMITW being chief among them, but Joe Camel is the ONLY camel I've ever found interesting. He's a good four standard deviations above the mean for camel interestingness, whereas TMIMITW is probably closer to two or three for man interestingness.

Plus Joe Camel was banned. What's cooler than being so dangerous that you're banned? Plus he was banned for tempting underage kids to smoke. You know who else encouraged underage drug use? Wooderson from Dazed and Confused- the coolest character in the whole damn movie.

Put, to play Beelzebub's apologist (that would be a sweet name for a punk band, btw), you have to give TMIMITW credit for, ostensibly playing by the rules the whole time yet managing to stay so goddamn interesting.

I guess it really comes down to whether or not you like the rebel or the straight man. Dylan McKay or Brandon Walsh? Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin? Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Aniston? Pee Wee Herman or the ex con he picked up who has got a real bad temper and cut the tag off of a mattress?

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.