That Wasn't the Real Mine That Bird on Conan Last Night

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Not that I thought the KY Derby winner was just sold to NBC, but I was curious about whether or not that was the real Mine that Bird, or if the mink was real. This answers one of those questions. It was NOT Mine That Bird.








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Didn't Know This Could Be Done: Amy Winehouse's Marriage gets Weirder

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

If her life were fiction no one would believe it.








That's how I roll.

Congratulations, Rachel Alexandra

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


2009 Horse of the Year.

She received 13% more votes than female foe Zenyatta for Horse of the Year Honors. Zenyatta's win in the Classic was legendary, but she won on her home surface against a comparatively weak Classic field (especially since the best horses were not used synthetics). Zenyatta really had nothing to lose in that race either. Rachel on the other hand, raced against boys in Grade 1's, won a leg of the triple crown and beat the winners of the other two. In doing so, she put a lot on the line multiple times and had plenty to lose.











That's how I roll.

Air France Makes Obesers Buy a Second Ticket

(photo courtesy of TR Slyder on the #8 Halsted Bus last August)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Details here.

If the Chicago Transit Authority did that, they wouldn't be bankrupt and announcing reduced operating hours to shore up a $300 million dollar shortfall in the CTA budget that will cost over 1,100 people their jobs. Trust me, we have the fat manpower to cover that bill and save those jobs. Trust me.






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Goddamn it, Donald

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter






I like all different kinds of, "Goddamnit Donald"s, like, Peyton Manneen's "Goddamnit Donald"




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baby beluga dropped on monday at the shedd aquarium

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

He looks like quite a bolshy gentleman. You can see this pic and others of him here at the Chicago Tribune. Or the Shedd's webpage here.



T.R. Slyder scholars will have already known about the Beluga's birth from this WhereAwesomeHappens post of the Best Quote in the Newspapers on Dec. 16th, 2009.
That is not a title I hand out lightly. So you can already tell it deals with flatulence.







That's how I roll.

Former Chicago Mayor Harold Washington Blasts John Edwards' Love Child From Beyond the Grave

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter



(note: unfortunately I have no idea how to make the image any sharper or more legible. the top headline says, ''Hynes ad shows Harold Washington blasting Quinn'' and directly underneath it is the headline, ''Edwards: 'I am Quinn's father'"

You would think the ghost of Chicago's first black mayor would have better things to do than call a 2-year old girl, 'completely undisciplined'.

Or it could be the case that John Edwards is the father of Illinois's governor.

Either way, the Trib is all over it.








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Howard Stern Predicted Leno Wouldn't Leave

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


No one ever said that Howard Stern is unintelligent.







That's how I roll.

Log O'Rhythm

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I'm not saying I made this up, yet credited my friend with this. Well, ok, yes I am. But it was in a text to Matodgey, and he's an honorable honorary.

You're welcome/sorry.








That's how I roll.

3 Sayings I Hate In One/ The Worst Sentence Possible

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I was thinking about hackneyed phrases that need to stop being used. I came up with three. Then I combined them to make the worst sentence possible.

Since blondes have more fun, and size matters, what happened in Vegas will definitely stay in Vegas.

Feel free to add any others in the comments section. Those were just off the top of my head and really rub me the wrong way.





That's how I roll.

Proof I'm Stupid

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Do you ever "accidentally" think of something stupid to say? Like a really, REALLY bad pun or putdown you wish you had never thought of? I know I do. Yesterday I was on the bus and passed a stop called "Balmoral". Then I thought it sounded like "Ball Moral" then I thought of the phrase, "Penny wise, and pound foolish" and thought that a similar saying could be, "Ball Moral, and peniley immoral". Trust me, I was not happy either.

Sorry.


I just liked that pic, it doesn't necessarily fit with the post. It's Kate Moss at her birthday party.





That's how I roll.

Banksy Tagged Park City for Sundance

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


this piece is bad as hay-ell.




That's a rad bomb, brah.

you can read a tiny bit about it at gawker.







That's how I roll.

oh boy. oh boy.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter



If you're offended by stuff that's offensive. Do NOT click here. It isn't safe for work.








That's how I roll.

Awesome Article

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This is an awesome article about the best jewel thieves in the world








That's how I roll.

Which is Wussier?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Which is wussier: England or California?

California has Compton and most of America's MMA guys, but it also has 100% of the nation's population of botox'd, lipo'd and face-lift'd men. Sure England is pretty wussy, but it also has Vinny Jones, most of the Bond Villains, Guy Ritchie movies. And it doesn't nearly the depravity of wussiedom as California's wussiest.



P.S.
Remember how wussy the ending of "The Wizard" is? And what word triggered that wussy ending? "California!" repeated ad vomitum. That will be a mandatory 5/8ths deduction for your non-wussy point total, California.





That's how I roll.

Prehistoric YouTube material

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Sometimes when I think about all the awesome stuff I've seen on America's Funniest Home Videos and YouTube, I wonder what kinda awesome random stuff people witnessed in pre-historic times. Like seeing a Wooly Mammoth bite it on the ice and fall on its side, or a sabre tooth tiger peeing itself in its sleep or something.








That's how I roll.

nfl playoffs

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

brett favre is kinda the jay leno of the nfl







That's how I roll.

something else that annoys me

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

on those commercials with ellen page for 'the human network' it annoys me at the end when you hear ellen doing the voiceover but it doesn't sound like her voice because you can hear her trying to force a smile. it annoys me.






That's how I roll.

News Update

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Since all the news is now about Haiti, I'm going to answer some current event FAQs.


What's new with the stock market? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

What's the state of the Health Care Bill? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

What's new in International News? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

What's going on with your local government? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

Wasn't there a congressional hearing with banking CEOs? Did anything constructive happen there? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

What was the deal with Dubai delaying loan payments? Any updates with that? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

How are things going with in Afghanistan and Iraq? Are we planning on invading Yemen or what? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

Has the dollar stabilized any, relative to world currencies? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

Is anything new in my community? Maybe some local interest stories? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

Who will replace Senator Kennedy's vacated seat? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

Is the weather supposed to warm up at some point? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

Wasn't a panda born at the San Diego Zoo or something? Is it a boy or a girl, or what's going on there? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

What's going on with the earthquake in Haiti? There was a devastating earthquake in Haiti.

Is Texas going to secede? No, I wish.









That's how I roll.

Biggest News Story Possible

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I think if Conan O'Brien and Tiger Woods went to Haiti, that would be the biggest news story possible right now.








That's how I roll.

On Race and Big Big Boobs

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Harry Reid's recent remarks about Obama and his ethnicity reminded me of something. At first I realized that there have been a lot, "This is racially offensive!!! (Wait, is this racially offensive?? Hang on, I need to go ask my black friend if I should be angry about this or not.) You have Rush Limbaugh's offensive Barack The Magic Negro song, you have Harry's new comments, when Joe Biden called him a "clean" candidate during the primaries people assumed he was being racist, you also have Rod Blagojevich telling Esquire magazine that he's blacker than Barack Obama, etc.

It reminded me of when you have a female who has very, very large breasts.

I think everyone has had an experience similar to this: You have a friend with big boobs, or your girlfriend has a friend with huge boobs, and everyone knows she has big boobs, but it's not like you sit and talk about them all the time, but you've all acknowledged them in some way. Then there is a late night at a bar when you and a few other friends (maybe a group of 6 or 7) and she's in the group and the topic of her boobs comes up. Maybe she's showing a lot of cleavage that night, maybe a drunken member male member of the group mentions them, maybe a female squeezes them. Something happens. Then it's like all the air has been let out of the bag and everyone breathes a sigh of relief, then makes the comment they've always been thinking about making regarding her big boobs.

Everyone basically makes one comment about them and they run the gamut of appropriate enough, (do they hurt your back? do you always catch guys staring at them? do you ever wish they weren't so big?) to the possibly skeezy (I'm a total boob guy I just think your boobs are great. I've always thought that. So....keep up the good work) to the definitely skeezy, (Can I PLEASE motorboat them? No, ok then will you stand up on a chair so I can run, full-speed into them face-first? PLEASE. I am willing to pay for this privelege.)

Racial differences have been around as long as big boobs have been around but it's still something people notice, but aren't sure what is approrpriate to say about them, and what is better left unsaid. And the more people have to clam up about it, the more people just want to talk about it, and whenever there's the slightest opening, someone is gonna jump in with both feet and again prove the Mark Twain phrase about it being better to be silent and perceived a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

So stay strong, large-breasted women who are the only member of their race in a given social setting.











That's how I roll.

Never Before Seen Ditka Interview From his Hey Day

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I wish the title across the top of the YouTube window didn't ruin the surprise ending. The footage shows a lot of profanity off-air from an angry Coach, then he gets undie-tastic at about the 3:08 mark. 2010 just got a lot awesomer.









That's how I roll.

It's About G.D. Time I saw This: Monkeys Eating Jello

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter








That's how I roll.

I Live for Stuff Like This

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter










That's how I roll.

2 more articles i liked

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Chris Henry- Best sports wtf injury in a long, long while. That's classy.


If you are ever wondering what to say while pretending to pretentious about wine- you can get some good pointers here. The author reviewed a few vintages of the same wine and did some vino fancy-talkin.






That's how I roll.

i'll tell ya who's awesome. Silvio Berlusconi.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


More drama with Silvio.

This is the second time in like 3 days he had a mentally unstable person attempt to physically harm him. We know that Silvio is a media-mogul in Italy, this begs the question: Does he secretly transmit on that mythical radio station that crazy people seem to all listen to??? Maybe he's got a show on that channel that is like Lou Dobbs:Mexicans::Silvio Berlusconi:The Mentally Ill. Or maybe he's just really polarizing like the Bill O'reilly of the Crazy Person's Radio Network.







That's how I roll.

Best Sentence of the Day

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Without any context here is the sentence I read in today's Chicago Tribune.

"All night long and early Tuesday morning, he was full of energy, passing gas, defecating, swimming and beginning to learn how to dive."

That sounds like the best all-night activity I an 11-year old boy could ever imagine.

Here is where the story it came from. It's the second sentence in the 9th paragraph.







That's how I roll.

This is Sexist, but True

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Women NEVER assume that someone is going to be in the elevator they are waiting for.

Here's the scene 19 times out of 20 when a woman is waiting for the elevator that I am in. The door opens and I start walking out, then notice a woman standing 4 feet in front of the door, not paying attention, but walking directly toward me/ trying to board the elevator. Then when I'm about 2 feet in front of her, looking at the top of her head, waiting for her to look up, she sees me feet, stops, gasps, look me in the eye and says either, "Excuse me", or "Oh, sorry". This phenomenon also happens with mass transit as well.

It's permissible when the elevator you call doesn't start moving until you call it, but if you're on the lobby floor and you see the elevator is already traveling downward, chances are there is someone in there who is going to the lobby. That is to say, someone will be in the elevator, hoping to exit the elevator when it arrives. So you shouldn't just start staring off somewhere, then when you hear the doors open just start walking in the elevator, assuming it's empty. You have to a major league dumbass to walk into a lobby, see the elevator is already heading to your floor then assume that the elevator will be empty. Do these people just assume that the elevator knew they were coming and headed toward them on their own?

That brings me to my second to last point. Most people reading this will say, "Wow, you overthought this. Cut them some slack, these people just weren't thinking, take it easy." Therein lies the asexual rub- THAT is my point. People aren't thinking. They're the same breed of people who start looking for their toll money once they are stopped infront of the toll booth and not when they read the, "Toll 1 Mile Ahead" sign, as though this toll booth's appearance is some kind of surprise. I think they just think the following: "I need to take the elevator up. Oh, it's already coming down. I'll press the 'up' button anyway. Well, it'll be here in about 20 seconds. I'll stare at the floor I guess. Waiting for the elevator. waiting for the elevator. waiting for the elevator. Oh finally I heard it ding and it sounds like the doors are opening. Well, I'm just gonna head in and assume no one is trying to exit. I'm not even gonna bother look up, really. I mean, I pressed the 'up' button and then it showed up so.........Oh, excuse me. Sorry about that, I didn't see you (three feet in front of me while I was looking at floor).

For the record, guys definitely do this too. I'm not saying it's only females and every female does it. But chicks are about 4X more likely to do this than guys. Really, it's the same ratio of spazzing out when it's announced that you'll be playing your game for a car on The Price is Right. It seems that nearly every chick that is told she could win, "a new car!" totally flips out. Sure, a lot of guys do too, but only about 1 in 4.











That's how I roll.

My Favorite Woody Guthrie Cover EVER

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter



I'm just assuming Woody Guthrie wrote a song called Booty Butt Cheeks. Here are a few great interpretations.





update:

And there's uh, this one. It's nsfw. At all.



update update:

This is safe for work and effin' rad. Well, visually safe for work. Unless you're allowed to say the N-word at work.






That's how I roll.

I'm an Alabama Fan Now

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Because this is awesome.








That's how I roll.

Finally a Reason to Live!!!!!!!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This couple: Fuck yes!!!!




This explains everything. This pic should be the answer on the last page of a murder mystery book. I'd read that book, and I already know the ending. Then when I hear people ask the adage, "Why read the book if you already know the ending?", I'll pull that picture out from my wallet and be like, "because this was the ending, a-hole! What? Know who looks smart?"








That's how I roll.

Silvio Berlusconi Punched at Rally!!!!!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Further proof that he is the man.

You can read up about it and see a video of the punch aftermath (but not the punch itself) on the Huffington Post.









That's how I roll.

Tiger Woods may Accidentally get his Levi Johnson on

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter



Uhhh... if that's true. If that chick really does have 5-6 pictures of Tiger Wood's sleeping bu' nekket in her bed, Tiger is in a LOT of trouble.






That's how I roll.

Another Awesome song with difficult lyrics to decipher

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Speedo by the Cadillacs



If you are curious, here are the lyrics.

That song kicks tuchis.





That's how I roll.

Oh, by the Way.....

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter








That's how I roll.

Hilarious Lyrics-writers Fail

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


As per the post beneath this one- I was looking for the lyrics to the song Elevator by Eminem because I didn't think I was hearing part of the hook correctly.

Tthe lyrics are NSFW, but the song is great.

So I Googled, "Eminem song lyrics Elevator", and I clicked on the top choice because it seemed like was what I wanted (so that was the lyrics site I was reading while listening to the song on YouTube) . So I start following hearing the song on YouTube while reading this group's interpretation of the lyrics (keep in mind that Eminem hasn't released official lyrics for the song yet, so these lyrics are just the result of one dude listening to the song and writing what hears). I didn't think that their lyrical dictation was 100% accurate but still did a better job than I would have done. So I'm following along and getting ready to hear him say my favorite rhyme in years- with the lyrics, "Fuckin' A, even got a bidet" then proceeds to sing, "to wipe my ass after I shit with golden toilet paper". That line I could very well decipher for myself and didn't need to consult the lyrics site, but I read along anyway. He got the lyrics wrong by writing them as, "Fuckin' A even got a potato/ wipe my ass wipe my ass after I shit with golden paper"!!!!!



Fuck yes! I laughed my ass off when I read that little number. So that guy was like, "hmmm, what is that word? Something that washes his ass while he $hit$ + the word "to", that rhymes with how he pronounces paper (paypah). Oh, duh- "Potato". Those will wash your ass."

It then reminded me of two awesome things:

1. This website- the exact opposite of FMyLife.com. Some of them are uberdoozies.

2. The story of "My bag, my bag."
About a decade ago I was at my grandma's house watching her television that had enable closed captioning. I didn't want to remove that setting because I know she wasn't tech-savvy enough to reset it to enable closed caption, and since her hearing totally sucked and she couldn't appreciate t.v. without it, I decided to leave it on and not shut it off and then accidentally forget to reset it before I shut the t.v. off. So I'm watching tv with closed captioning and on tv is a middle-aged black guy coaching a high school (I think) basketball team. He's speaking what I could conservatively say is "Beginner's Ebonics", meaning even your whitest white friend can still translate this 100%. When he told his team, "Alright, Ok, my bad. My bad." the closed caption writer wrote, "Alright, ok., my bag. My bag.". To this day when a college friend or myself
screws up in the other's presence we wil voice our mea culpa thusly, "my bag, my bag".

I can't believe I hadn't posted that before.

So that awesome lyric thing reminded me of two other awesome things. Aweshome.






That's how I roll.