This is Sexist, but True

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Women NEVER assume that someone is going to be in the elevator they are waiting for.

Here's the scene 19 times out of 20 when a woman is waiting for the elevator that I am in. The door opens and I start walking out, then notice a woman standing 4 feet in front of the door, not paying attention, but walking directly toward me/ trying to board the elevator. Then when I'm about 2 feet in front of her, looking at the top of her head, waiting for her to look up, she sees me feet, stops, gasps, look me in the eye and says either, "Excuse me", or "Oh, sorry". This phenomenon also happens with mass transit as well.

It's permissible when the elevator you call doesn't start moving until you call it, but if you're on the lobby floor and you see the elevator is already traveling downward, chances are there is someone in there who is going to the lobby. That is to say, someone will be in the elevator, hoping to exit the elevator when it arrives. So you shouldn't just start staring off somewhere, then when you hear the doors open just start walking in the elevator, assuming it's empty. You have to a major league dumbass to walk into a lobby, see the elevator is already heading to your floor then assume that the elevator will be empty. Do these people just assume that the elevator knew they were coming and headed toward them on their own?

That brings me to my second to last point. Most people reading this will say, "Wow, you overthought this. Cut them some slack, these people just weren't thinking, take it easy." Therein lies the asexual rub- THAT is my point. People aren't thinking. They're the same breed of people who start looking for their toll money once they are stopped infront of the toll booth and not when they read the, "Toll 1 Mile Ahead" sign, as though this toll booth's appearance is some kind of surprise. I think they just think the following: "I need to take the elevator up. Oh, it's already coming down. I'll press the 'up' button anyway. Well, it'll be here in about 20 seconds. I'll stare at the floor I guess. Waiting for the elevator. waiting for the elevator. waiting for the elevator. Oh finally I heard it ding and it sounds like the doors are opening. Well, I'm just gonna head in and assume no one is trying to exit. I'm not even gonna bother look up, really. I mean, I pressed the 'up' button and then it showed up so.........Oh, excuse me. Sorry about that, I didn't see you (three feet in front of me while I was looking at floor).

For the record, guys definitely do this too. I'm not saying it's only females and every female does it. But chicks are about 4X more likely to do this than guys. Really, it's the same ratio of spazzing out when it's announced that you'll be playing your game for a car on The Price is Right. It seems that nearly every chick that is told she could win, "a new car!" totally flips out. Sure, a lot of guys do too, but only about 1 in 4.











That's how I roll.