TR Salutes: Number Muncher

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Enough said.





That's how I roll.

A Song I Forgot Until I Remembered it: The 5th Grade Edition

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Tic Tac Toe by Kyper was probably the most hardcore non- 2 Live Crew song I had ever heard in 5th Grade. Need proof? The song contains the following, "Went to the movies and bought her a treat, went to my house and made the bed squeak". See, I told you. Do you think this song and video withstood the test of time? That's for you to decide.



And a song from that era that I never forgot about. For those that wants to get busy, you gots to speak up now.



Don't hate the fanny pack.

Hidden Track: Just a Friend by Biz Markie. This song is the best.








That's how I roll.

Levi is Showing His Dingles!!!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

My favorite news story of the year: Now with more penis!

Levi Johnston's Playgirl photoshoot is still on as planned, and he reached a decision about whether or not to show his log: He is going to dong it up.

Let's recap the degrees of separation from fame for Levi: He gooped in the uterus of the daughter of a woman who ran for VP last year. Apparently, that is enough to make you famous. Now in order to promote his "brand" he is allowing people to photograph his genitals.

The only claims to fame that rival his are the Kardashian sisters: They are the sisters of a chick who is famous for getting urinated on in a sextape by the brother of a has-been R&B singer.








That's how I roll.

Fo Dope Songs Fo Dat Ass, Kid.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

You knew your boy TR was gonna bring the Heat. You best wear them gloves of osbestos, cuz you gots to respect this.

This is the best 1, 2, 3, 4 punch in my iTunes. In alphabetical order.

Michael Jackson- Butterflies


Mr. Cheeks- Lights, Camera, Action


N.E.R.D.- Everyone Nose



Nas- Made you Look



If the last song's intro sounds familar, maybe you heard it sampled here.







That's how I roll.

International Perspective: Cubs Edition

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I'm not sure how to write this very well, so I'll start off awkwardly: With what I was wearing. I have an orange flannel shirt that I don't think is particularly fashionable, urban chic or cool, but it's excessively comfortable and I like to wear it once or twice during Autumn. It's a Fall rite of passage for me and I like it's agrarian feel. I usually wear it with a black shirt underneath for the orange and black Halloween feel. I think the flannel aspect helps accentuate the autumnal aspect. Living in a big city I miss wearing flannel shirts, and this shirt remains my only flannel one. Anyway, I wore it today, that will come up later.

So today I was taking the el back home and I saw a foreign-looking guy staring at his Chicago el map. His eyes didn't leave it for like 4 minutes solid. So I approached and asked if he knew where he was going. After being carless in the city for 5 years and working in a hostel for about 18 months, I don't know anyone that knows the train system better than I do, so I try to help people when I can.

With a thick accent, but very good grammar, this guy told me he was trying to get to the Navy Pier. That's the single biggest tourists-only destinatiton in Chicago, so after telling him how to get there from here, I asked where he was from. He said South Korea, then asked if I was American. At first I thought of a smart-ass answer along the lines of, "Well, I'm wearing a Halloween-themed orange flannel shirt (with a Nautica logo on it, no less), olive-colored khakis and a pair of Chuck Taylors, I kinda thought that would make it obvious. Oh, that and I asked you if you needed any help, and I asked in perfect English."

But I didn't feel like being a dick to a tourist, so I just politely said "yes". Then he asked if I lived in Chicago, and I' though, "No, I'm from Argentina, but I just felt like asking if you needed help on the Chicago Public Transit for shits", but I demured and just said, "Yeah, I live here in Chicago. I'm waiting for the train to take me home."

He became excited and told me that he likes Chicago and that last night he watched the Bulls game on television. He had the politely infectious tourist smiley enthusiasm that you have to love. He was smiling as he said it, he hoped I'd be impressed. So I said that was cool, and he said that Michael Jordan was a huge, huge star in South Korea. After working in a hotel for over a year and meeting countless people new to Chicago- this was expected. Foreigners know a TON about New York City and Hollywood. But Chicago? Al Capone, Michael Jordan and the Sears Tower. Sometimes they know Oprah, R. Kelly or Kanye West, but they don't know they're from Chicago. That's it. So we talked about the Bulls for a bit, and how they aren't as exciting anymore without Jordan. I conceded that nowadays Kobe and Lebron were cooler.

He later asked where in the city I lived. So I grabbed his map and showed him that I lived not too far from Wrigley Field- where the Chicago Cubs baseball team plays. At this mention his face lit up. "I know the Chicago Cubs!" he proudly blurted. He went on to start a sentence and then stop it, I think he was going to say something to the effect of, "They lose a lot", or "They are never very good" I forget exactly, but he politely cut himself off, and said, "Yes! They are....they are known for having bad ruck."

Very impressive that he knew that. Very diplomatically phrased. Why should he know anything else about the Cubs? For the record, he were was our final exchange upon his train's arrival.

Me: Ok man, this is your train. Take this to State and Lake, get off, then your map will tell you how to walk to Navy Pier.

Him: Ok, Thank you. Thank you very much.

Me: Hey man, no problem. Have fun here in Chicago.

Him: Ok, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much. Have a wonderful day. Have a very wonderful day!


Sadly, that was my favorite Cubs-related converstion in about 6 months.

And I base that Seoul-ly on his politeness...Hello-ooooo!











That's how I roll.

Lookalikes v. 27.0- Ronald Reagan Jr. and Dan Savage

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

They look so similar I don't even feel clever about posting this. Another clever idea of mine is that boiling water is hot to the touch.




































That's how I roll.

The Cocaine Diary

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I caught this on BBC America last night and was really impressed. It's a documentary about the Cocaine business within Columbia- how destructive it is, how violent, and how nearly everyone involved regrets their affiliation with it, but feels they have no choice. What makes this documentary unique is its documentarian- Alex James, the bassist for the wildly popular Britpop band Blur. After he admitted that he'd blown £1,000,000 on "cocaine and champagne" (it took me like 4 minutes to learn how to type the pound symbol, so I hope you appreciated it), the President of Columbia sent him an unsolicited letter asking him to come document what the narcotrafficing does to his country. Alex agreed and made this documentary, it's only 30 minutes and is pretty interesting.

Part1


Part2


Part3



And just to stay with the theme, here's a brief video showing how cocaine is made. Anytime you mix gasoline, amonia, lime, sulfuric acid and then gasoline again, you know it's gonna be good for you and just how grandma used to make it.











That's how I roll.

A New Learning Experience

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Mr. T has mad Grill Slangin' Game!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I am proud humiliated to say that I watched Mr. T's infomercial last night for his FlavorWave Turbo oven. It reminded me of this article I wrote about other celebrity grills endorsed by Evander Holyfield, Hulk Hogan and Deion Sanders.

As for as infomercial cheesiness it gets a 10 out of 10. It's as cheesey as cheesey gets. And I'm ok with that. I never got around to forming an opinion about it's awesomeness or if it was good value (three easy payments of $39.99), but it was just nice to see Mr. T on TV again. I guess you could call him Mr. T.V.!! Man, that was a great closing line.








That's how I roll.

WhereAwesomeHappens Public Service Announcement

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Apparently uncertainty regarding the pronunciation of the large word above in boldface is rampant. Allow me to break it down phonetically- Chip. Ote. Lay. Notice how the "T" appears before the "L". A lot of people are under the impression that it is pronounced "Chip-OL-Tay". Had this been the intent of this restaurant chain, my guess is that the company would have placed the "L" before the "T", much like how if you wanted your name to be pronounced as "Frank" you probably wouldn't spell it as "Dave". Letters and their order, actually do affect the pronunciation.

Furthermore, please note that this word is not one of those wonky exceptions where letter sequencing should be tinkered with. The only conceivable instances of word order not mattering are words (most of them French in derivation) like 'Centre', 'Theatre', or 'Favre'.

The 'T followed by L' shouldn't scare native English speakers- most of us have a proven track record of this phoneme. Words like "Little", "Bottle", and "Motley" are never mispronounced as, "Lil-tay", "Bol-tay" and "Mol-tay".


Update: For further reading on this gripping subject, check this out. Apparently I wrote on this topic in July. I don't remember doing it, but it sounds like something I'd do.








That's how I roll.

Love Child Investigation v. 14.0

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Andrew Lloyd Webber and Christopher Hitchens may have begotten Barry Sonenfeld. If you consider pics to be DNA evidence, then I have DNA evidence that, in fact, Barry is their love child. Let's check out the hard science.






























That's how I roll.

My Latest Offensive Putdown

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Guys, when you run into someone say, "I ran into your mother/sister/gilfriend/wife/daughter the other day and was absolutely elated. Elated with a capital 'F', that is."

If you want to, you can follow it up with the classic, "I'm just kidding. She was being sorta rude, actually. I almost had to ask her to leave the shower."








That's how I roll.

Captain Planet Bono is Kinda a Hypocrite

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Wondering how many gallons of diesel fuel U2's over-the-top tour used this month alone?

126,857. Thank Baby Jesus that it takes only 120 trucks to transport it all.

You can read more about it here.







That's how I roll.

Revival of my Political $.02- We invaded Afghanistan Because We Care About the US

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I get that General McChrystal wants more troops in Afghanistan, but should that surprise anyone? Of course he does. If you're paying me to do a project, of course I'm gonna say, "You know what? This would be a lot easier with another $200". There are gonna be at least two sides of any argument, and of course McChrystal's side will be the side lobbying for more troops. I'm not even saying he's wrong, I'm just saying that it shouldn't come as a surprise.

If you have sinus issues and you go to a surgeon, he's gonna recommend surgery. Surgeons cut. He won't recommend you seek a holistic healer, or buy an over-the-counter inhaler, he's gonna say, "Well, I'll cut you open and fix this problem". Just because he recommends surgery doesn't make it the best option, you knew that would be his recommendation.

We invaded Afghanistan- because we care about the US. It wasn't for humanitarian reasons, or peace-keeping or goodwill ambassadorship. Killing possible terrorists before they kill us was the reason. Right or wrong, it was the reason and it happened and we have to deal with it. If we pull out now is Afghanistan any worse off? No. If we stay there will America be worse? I say absolutely. The war is killing our tropps and it's not making us appreciably safer. That Zazi nutsack in Colorado 1) wasn't killed in Afghanistanor Iraq and, 2) wasn't able to harm Americans because Department of Homeland Security did a great job.

Furthermore, the war is sucking the money out of our recessed economy that could use every dime it can get its hands on. As Orwellian as this tradeoff sounds- America might be in a place where we have to think about a trade off of a terrorist attack. The right loves saying, "well if we leave Aghanistan, we're just making us less safe at home." I disagree with that, but lets assume that is true. If we pull out of Afghanistan we'll save hundreds of billions of dollars that could be put into the economy to improve helath care, create jobs and prevent homes from being foreclosed. 1 in 10 people in homeless shelters are there as a result of foreclosure. People die everyday from lacking adequate health care, and if some money saved from the war saved their life, isn't that just as good as a life prevented from terrorist attack? What if, God forbid, we were victimized by terrorist attack that killed 50 people? Sure it's a grisly thought and it could happen to members of my family. But I'd rather them killed by terrorist wackos than by a government that refused to allow them to receive health care because they had to pay for a war in a nation that still operates like its the 12th century.

Once we leave Afghanistan, Al Qaeda will just enter from Pakistan and undo all of our work there anyway. It's not that I don't feel compassion for the Afghanis, but I feel a lot more for Americans. We won't have another 9/11 because we have the Department of Homeland Security in place now and they're batting 1.000 up until now. Phrased differently, if you were a muslim extremist with aspirations to blow up America- where would you be right now? In Afghanistan running around with your hands above your head telling US Soldiers that you plan on killing Americans one day on American soil, or would you be a bit more discreet about it and attempting to assimilate yourself into American life and laying low to avoid detection?

That's like the joke about why Mexico doesn't have a Summer Olympics team- because all their best runners, jumpers and swimmers are already in the U.S.. My money is on the Afghanistan's All-Star terror prospects already being out of Afghanistan.












That's how I roll.

My $.02 About Curb Your Enthusiasm

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I like the show enough but I can't get over how the combination of two elements. Element #1 is that Larry David's character is just an a-hole- Not everyone is nice, I get that. But element #2 is how he is obsessed with delineating and following social rules- the inviter always pays for the invitee's lunch, even when the invitee insists (and touches the bill first), or when out to lunch with a friend and you go dutch, you coordinate the tip, etc.

But if Larry is so compelled with creating and following these advanced social norms, why does he completely ignore the most basic social tenet of "don't be a total asshole"? That's like trying to learn calculus before you know how to add.








That's how I roll.

Hell Yes!!!!!!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I'm gettin this haircut today, bitches! Don't hate....














That's how I roll.

David Wells Admitting he Flatulated on National TV

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter



Stay Learn to be classy, David Wells. Yet another Yankee "great" acting the ass.










That's how I roll.

Chamillionaire Felt that Michael Jordan was Ridin' Dirty

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


One of my favorite rap one-hit wonders (so far at least) speaks up about getting dissed by Michael Jordan.









That's how I roll.

How do you say, "Best Thing Possible that Doesn't Include Monkeys" in Chinese?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


There is a Kingdom of Dwarves Theme Park in China.

I wasn't able to copy pictures from that article and post them here. If I could have, rest assured I would have copied the 8th pic (from left to right) which shows "The King" in a red kimono and driving a purple, regular-sized scooter.

Sometimes life is pretty awesome.






That's how I roll.

More Blagojevich Awesomeness

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I'm not talking about him being on Celebrity Apprentice. I'm talking about this Investigative Report by the Chicago Sun-Times about Hot Rod's jobs-for-favors policy.

You still got it, Rod!







That's how I roll.

Lookalikes v. 27.0- Ronan Tynan and Sloth from Goonies

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Before you laugh and then say, "That's mean!" Please read this about his anti-semitism. That being said....
























Bab(e)y Ruth?






That's how I roll.

The Only Thing I'll Post About Balloon Boy

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Since that crazy family hijacked America for a few hours they have an outstanding debt with us. My proposal for their comepensation?

Those stupid parents and their 3 kids, along with the grandparents of those kids, should be forced to watch Last Tango In Paris together while America watches their reactions. The family all has to sit down, on one long couch and watch the whole thing. The cameras will film the faces of the family members through a two-way mirror, and America gets to watch. We also get to watch the kids during a post-viewing Q&A with their parents and grandparents.

And don't say that's child abuse or twisted. Kids in Europe are exposed to that kind of stuff on a daily basis. Besides, that family owes us.

Those parents suck.







That's how I roll.

Wow. Thanks Sun-Times and Craig Newman!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

The Chicago Sun-Times ran a brief interview between Ernie Banks and Sun-Times writer Craig Newman. It can be seen here.

The very last paragraph mentions that recently Ernie Banks and his wife adopted a baby girl. He links to yours selfishly truly, baby. That was pretty cool.

Thanks Craig.







That's how I roll.

Is Letterman a Wussy Now?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I watched Letterman tonight because Don Rickles was on. I figured that if any guest had the stones and the seniority enough to bust on Dave for his recent scandal it would be Rickles.

Early on in the conversation Rickles didn't dive right in, so I thought maybe he would later. A bit later he was telling a story about old timey mobsters in early Vegas, and he joked that he hopes those mafiosos weren't upset at him for talking about them. Then a sandbag dropped from above onto Letterman's desk. When the bag dropped from the set above, Dave and Don looked at eachother and pretended to be shocked, then they went to commercial.

It was just a pre-meditated, scripted bit. Dave Letterman had the most legendary insult comic in history on his show at the time of Letterman's vulnerability and Dave strong-armed him into doing an out-of-character scripted piece.

May your comedic integrity rest in peace, Dave.










That's how I roll.

Progressive Therapy

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


If you're having a bad day, or just need a pick-me-up, I have a plan for you: Crank up Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell" and crotch chop every time he says the word "More". You'll feel much better afteward. Trust me.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the song, here it is with lyrics.




It looks like Professor Slyder has just confirmed that two rights do in fact make a right.






That's how I roll.

Ball 'till you Fall

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


If you go to an Italian dive restaurant that doesn't have plastic garlic on the wall, you aint ballin'. And if you aint gonna ride fly then you might as well hate.





That's how I roll.

Lookalikes v. 26.0- Brendan Ryan and Mr. Hat

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I couldn't find a good picture of Brendan Ryan and his mustache wearing a hat, so this will have to do.


























This isn't the first time I've thought a major league baseball player looked like a puppet. Roger Clemens also looked like Uncle Joey's puppet, Mr. Woodchuck in Lookalikes v. 12.0







That's how I roll.