European Version of Ohh Maaa Gaaa, Ohhhh Maaa Gaaaa: Sea the Stars

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


This Gentleman is nothing to eff with. He's an absolute monster and if he runs in the Breeder's Cup and the sight of him makes some other horses pee a little, I completely understand. Oh. And since the Classic will be run over synthetic/experimental surfaces AGAIN this year, the grass-loving euros will have a leg up on the Americans. Have fun with all that, west coasters who still run on that garbage. Let me be the first to say- my deepest sympathy. And the VERY VERY first to say, "Oh Breeder's Cup- you decided to go with a traditional dirt surface in 2010. Congratulations on your return you intelligence- we've been awaiting your return. How was your departure? It is nice to have you back."

I digressed. You'll see Sea The Stars in the yellow down the stretch. This is the definition of "Digging in". He is a bolshy, bolshy, bugger. D'ya know wha I mean? Totely, mate. Totely. All of England is arse over tit with him, and they may be right to think that this year's American crop of older horses has more holes innit than a barmaid's knickers' d'ya know wha I mean? Innit mate? Totely. He's probably all, "Sod off you tosspots in the colonies!" and we're all like, "I have no idea what you just said."

The point is, he's a great racehorse and I have proof.



I call if him and Rachel Alexandra have a kid, I get their firstborn.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Ohhhh Maaaaa Gaaaaaa, Ohhhhh Maaaa Gaaaaaa Rachel Alexandra Wins the Woodward

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Rachel Alexandra won an AWESOME race in the Woodward today, narrowly holding off a charging Macho Again. That was an uber-doozie for the ages. Great race by Rachel, great ride by jockey Calving Borel and a fabulous call by announcer Tom Durkin. My brother was at the race and said that was the loudest he has ever heard Saratoga.

Here's Rachel Alexandra's 2009 Woodward on YouTube, it was post just a minute ago





Some random notes:

- To show what an impressive horse Rachel is, watch how quickly Da Tara runs in reverse at the far turn. Staying a length behind Rachel Alexandra for a half-mile proved too taxing for the 2008 Belmont winner and he just stopped. (I hope that wasn't caused by injury. If he did get injured I take that back, but I haven't heard that he was injured during the race yet, so I am assuming he was sound).

-Rachel turned away Da' Tara, Past the Point, Bullsbay and Macho Again. All four had their shot, took their best shot, and got dirt kicked in their face.

-At the 1:52 mark I am 100% positive that Macho Again will run her down. Despite knowing the outcome of the race, and having watched it 4 or 5 times already, I keep expecting Macho Again to pass her (Psychology scholars will note well that Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”, and that has served as the general functional definition ever since).

- That race had to have been ridiculously grueling for her. I hope she comes out of it in good shape. Not many three year olds go 8-for-8.

- Great job Breeders' Cup. Yes, I'm still harping on it. Synthetic surface TWO YEARS IN A ROW. You reap what you sow, get what you deserve, get back what you put in, etc. And what you deserve is not having Rachel Alexandra. You earned getting your nose turned up in your direction. (Editor's note: Mmmm, those Hater-Tots were delicious)

-You really can't overetate how good of a filly she is. It's not like she just broke her maiden and won by 15 lengths, then after getting all excited about it someone said, "Ok calm down, she still has a lot to prove. We can't call her the second coming of Ruffian just yet." Well, that isn't the case with Rachel Alexandra. She is the second coming of Ruffian and as long as you don't say she is clearly better than Ruffian you aren't getting carried away. It is ok to go nuts over here.

- She also bucked Calvin Borel off before the race. I just thought I'd add that. Usually that isn't a great omen, and I am pretty sure she'd never done that before.

-I will say it again. GREAT call by Tom Durkin. I'm 29 years old. The odds of me liking another announcer of any sport more than I like Durkin by the time can be measured only in scientific notation. 10 X 5^1-18th. I love Durkin, and this call ranks among his very best (I just updated my salute of him) He conveyed the heightened stakes with his voice alone. It just sounded different than a maiden claiming race- as it should have. It was a great call. He knew that regardless of the outcome, it was Rachel's race- she was the story, and he called the race as such. Lesser announcers would have pretended it was just another race. You could hear the release of his full theater-major gusto. I know for a fact that he had a lot stored up for when Smarty Jones was going to win the Belmont. Unfortunately, Durking had to tuck that away, but it sounded liek he culled from that reserve to call Rachel's historic race and Tom was among the people I was most happy for. He let loose and it sounded like it felt it great. It felt great hearing it, anyway. He's kinda the male announcing equivalent of Rachel Alexandra, I guess.

-I'm eager to see what her Beyer Speed Figure will be. That race, though visually stunning and fast early on, wasn't super fast as far as Grade 1 races go. I'm guessing she'll be in the 105-109 range, but that's just a guess based on how the Forego was raced before it, and the time for the Whitney this year.

- With Rachel winning by only a head, every single bit of ground-saving helped, another advantage of being a speed horse, drawing near the rail and being ridden by Calvin Bo-rail. If you're following Macho Again (in the yellow coming from off the picture on the far turn) it looks like he's a sure winner at the 1:33 mark. Then turning for home you see Rachel and Calvin on the rail, and Macho Again 3 wide. It's obvious that Macho Again ran substantially farther than Rachel Alexandra did. Macho Again's jockey, Robby Albarado, isn't to blame, he is an accomplished jockey and his horse has a late-running style and they are often caught going 5-wide around the far turn, but that's where the race was both won and lost.

I just saw Robby said this (here), "I never thought I had her," he said. "The only thing I was hoping for was that she'd tire. Champions show different dimensions. She's in a league of her own. Older horses, her own age, it doesn't matter. No matter what they throw at her, she'll beat them." That was classy of him. I also didn't expect it, not because he is not classy, but because I was positive on two different occasions that his horse would win, yet he was positive zero times. I guess its time to admit that that awesome jockey (who jockey'd Curlin among others) knows more about horse racing than I do.

- If Macho Again hadn't run ragged and bumped Bullsbay at the 1:54 mark, would he have won? It looked like he was flying, then brushed Bullsbay and lost a bit of steam, then picked it right back up again only to lose by a head. I guess we'll never know, but that appeared to slow him down. (update again) I would not believe that anyone in the world has watched this race more times than I have, and (not that he needs my validation) I think Robby was right. I don't think his bump costed him all that much momentum/velocity.

-If a high school senior asked Rachel Alexandra to his senior prom and her handlers accepted, wouldn't that kid be guaranteed an internship at the Daily Racing Form?

-That race kicked hiney. She really is the Rachel Alexandra of horse racing.

**********************************************************

Now I'm just being (more) self indulgent/autobiographical. It's totally fine if you don't read this portion.

I had to work until just before the start of the race, and I wasn't by an OTB. I don't get TVG or HRTV. Luckily I have a-hole/very good friends. My friend Joe sent me the following texts, "Do you get the Woodward on TV?" He read my blog and tweets, so he knows how big of a deal this race is, and how much I care about it. So I reply with, "No I don't", I assume he is interested in watching it, so I instruct him on how to watch the race replay on NYRA.com shortly after the race, or where to find a live radio feed. He smugly replies with, "Too bad, I get it on live TV". In so many words I reply with something to the effect of, "Though you are a gentleman, you do not deserve this honor.". Since I know I have no chance of watching it live, I ask him to place his phone by the speaker of his television during the race. He's a good friend and obliges. I sat at home watching my racing form listening to Tom Durkin's call. That race was every single thing I hoped it would be. I know that Durkin calls the race like a tv announcer (meaning for those watching on-track, as opposed to those listening at home without sound, a la radio) but I was still slightly misled. I thought Da' Tara still held the lead throughout, for one. That turned out to be irrelevant once Rachel ran her down.

But the tension I felt listening to Tom Durkin (via my friend Joe) will be something I can never share with anyone. Durkin did a tremendous job calling the race, but I still somehow wanted more. When he said it will be "a dramatic stretch drive awaits in the Woodward Stakes" I gripped my chair tighter. I hoped he meant it would be easy for Rachel, but dramatic....I don't know why....cuz it was historic? I didn't want a close race...I knew Rachel had the lead and was waiting to hear until she was overtaken, and she wasn't...Then I heard Durkin- who has never mislead me- say it will be "desperately close" and my heart sank. I knew he wanted Rachel to win and if he said it would be "desperately close" it would be that close. I also thought that it was his way of breaking the news softly to us. He'd be too kind to say, "Macho Again runs down Rachel", or "Macho Again inhales a tiring Rachel". I appreciated the passive voice and euphemism and was prepared my ears for the worst. I knew they'd hit the wire at the same time, and when Durkin says it will be close, it IS close....I know his calls. He says it's close.......he pauses........he announces the winner. That is what he does.

'It's going to be desperately close...here's the wire!!!" *************95 years of my life. seriously. 95 years. ***************** That was bad. Tom is the best. If he knew Rachel would win he would have said it. But the bravado in his voice as the super-talented Macho Again started his stride hurt my confidence. I knew he inched closer and closer, and since Tom didn't say Rachel kicked him away I feared the worst. They hit the wire together. My heart was residing behind my navel. The hit the wire together. The next name he says is the winner- that's just his way. PLEASE TOM. Just. Say. "Rachel". HOW MUCH LONGER CAN THIS GO ON!!! YOU ARE MURDERING MY SOUL!!! (it was half a second)

"RACHEL WON!!!!!!!!!!"

*room starts spinning*

the end.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Get Up, Stand Up. Don't Give up the Fight!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter











I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

My Travers Assessment

(above photograph courtesy of T.R. Slyder)
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
(The horse in the picture is Quality Road as a young 'un)


The 140th Running of the Travers should be a doozey. The race that is often referred to as the Midsummer Derby features Quality Road- who was expected to be the favorite in the KY Derby before being sidelined with a hoof injury, Summer Bird- who won the Belmont, Charitable Man who went off at 9/2 in the Belmont before finishing 4th, and the near-overnight sensation Kensei.

I attacked this race from two angles, 1- the pace scenario, and 2- seeing if Quality Road was beatable. Of Quality Road's 5 starts, 4 have earned a Beyer Speed Figure of 100+ and three of those, his three most recent, have earned Beyers of 110+. No other horse has ran higher than a 106 in a graded stakes race (Warriors Reward freaked in an Allowance race and ran a 113 in May). The elephant in the room with handicapping this race is to determine whether or not Quality Road simply lays over the field with talent and is too good to be beaten. If every other horse runs it's 100% best race- can Quality Road still beat them with a 90% effort?

Much of the pace scenario should be easy to predict- but the few parts of it that are difficult to predict are the most important. #5, Our Edge should go right to the lead with Warriors Reward and Quality Road either contesting the lead or sitting closely off it (by anywhere from .5 to 1.5 lengths off), followed by Kensei sitting another length or so behind them. Charitable Man ought to be near Kensei, my guess is that he'll be a half-length behind him, and Summer Bird and Hold Me Back both in the back, timing their final run. I anticipate Summer Bird starting off in last then slowly progressing gradually until he's about 3 lengths off the lead by the far turn.

Barring a stumbled start for one of the speedsters, its hard to see the race unfolding radically different than this. What will be difficult, yet important, to try to determine will be how close Quality Road is to the lead and how much energy, if any, he spends trying to be on the lead early. If he's able to sit patiently toward the inside, just a length or so off the lead, that ought to bode very well for Quality Road who wants to have both some gas in the tank and a slight lead on the closers when they turn for home. If he exerts a lot of energy vying for the lead, that will diminish the amount of stank in the tank, so to speak. This is also where QR's talent advantage comes into play- is he so talented that he can overcome a speed duel with Our Edge and run faster than he'd like to early on, and still have enough to hold off the late charging foes?

Kensei's position relative to Quality Road will also be important. Ideally for Kensei, he will sit patiently right off Quality Road and be in a position to run him down at the end. If, however Kensei and Quality Road "hook up" and engage in a speed duel early on, it will tire both of them out and improve the chances for Charitable Man and Summer Bird to run down their tired foes down the stretch. It's also possible that Charitable Man could be forwardly placed and duel with Quality Road, but I find that scenario less likely.

As the field turns for home I anticipate Quality Road to emerge as the leader and starting his late run before all others. Upon seeing Quality Road giving it the gas, then Charitable Man and Kensei will also be summoned to make their bid, where they'll run down a tiring Our Edge, and probably Warrior's Reward. Once all of our eyes focus on QR, CM and Kensei, we will notice that Summer Bird is not far behind.

Then what? This is when I think Quality Road is going to wow us. After pulling away from Our Edge I don't think he'll be caught. Even if one of the talented horses happened to stay with him or even catches him I don't think anticipate them having more grit and determination than Quality Road. Why do I say that?



In holding off the favored Dunkirk, Quality Road showed more tenacity in that race than any of these horses have. He also held off a higher-caliber horse than any of his Travers foes ever have.

I think the Travers' 1 1/4 will be a touch too far for Charitable Man and he'll be run down by Kensei and eventually Summer Bird, who will compete for 2nd place. I give the edge to Summer Bird here because I think he has more flexible with his timing and had will have a few options on Saturday. It also doesn't hurt that I saw his father win the 2004 Travers over a sloppy track.

To provide more context for this race- here is the 2009 Jim Dandy which was run over the same Saratoga surface earlier this month. It featured Kensei, Charitable Man and Warrior's Reward.



That race was an eighth of a mile shorter than the Travers will be, and you can see that Charitable Man wants no part in any added distance. Kensei showed us some talent, but seemed to just outlast tired foes, moreso than ripping the race away from a determined bunch.

Being that I think the top three will be Quality Road, Summer Bird and Kensei- I haven't really taken much of a stand as those are the three favorites (with QR being the favorite). So I feel obligated to throw in my longshot pick- Our Edge.

I think the winner of the race will have to run at least a 106 Beyer. Hold Me Back and Charitable Man have had chances to show us that they're capable of running a 106 and have been unable to. Warrior's Reward freaked in one race and ran a 113, which is the highest lifetime Beyer in this race, but I think that was a bit flukey with Calvin Borel giving him a dream trip along the rail while at the back of the pack at Churchill Downs, a la Mine That Bird. Since he'll be more forwardly placed this time around I just don't think that will happen again. So that leaves us with Our Edge at 15-1. He's been in only 5 races and his Beyer's keep going up in his 5 starts his Beyers are (48, 79, 91, 91, 100). In his last race while recording the 100 BSF, he won by 7 lengths so, you have to figure he wasn't giving it his all towards the end and could have run a 103 or 105 if need be, so he could be sitting on a big race here. His last two works are bulleted works over the Saratoga track, and he is also the only horse in the race who has won over a Sloppy track- which could become a factor as rain is in the forecast. You know he's going right to the lead and if Quality Road stumbles at the start or just throws in a poor effort, he could get loose on the lead and hold off the closers. At 15-1, there is a lot to like.







I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

A Chimpanzee in his Natural Habitat: a Japanese Game Show

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This isn't as good as you might think, but its still a chimp on a Japanese game show where it acts as an audience for a magic show. It's better than not watching a chimp on a Japanese game show, anyway.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Eager to Achieve Obesity?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

There is probably a health care debate joke in here somewhere. KFC is unveiling what is ostensibly a neo-Atkins sandwich. The sandwich lacks bread, and in its place are two pieces of fried chicken breast. While it isn't on KFC's website, I'm sure you can find it shortly on ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com.


update: I may have spoken too soon. Just use this dietary supplement after eating that KFC burger and you should be fine. Let me rephrase that: you probably will not gain weight.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

After Watching the Alabama Stakes, maybe Zenyatta is now the #2 Contender to Rachel Alexandra.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

With Zenyatta's diminishing margins of victory, maybe she should have to go through Careless Jewel to earn her shot at Rachel Alexandra. Watch her victory in the Alabama Stakes at Saratoga today. Just sayin.

Looks like Zenyatta's "The ball is in my court- come and get me" stance might be over. Those on the East Coast sure hope you aren't just the female version of Lava Man (Lava Girl?). You aren't, are you? See ya in the Beldame.

I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

I've Been Looking for This

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I remember wanting this clip a while ago for an article on here. I couldn't find the article, and I may have ever gotten this clip and forgotten I did. Anyway, here it is. Of all the things you should never admit in public..... lol. Thanks for coming out guys.










I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Zenyatta Still Aint Nothin' to Eff With

ZeBy: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

The awesome Zenyatta is now 12-for-12 after winning the Clement Hirsch Stakes at Del Mar on Sunday. The finish was actually pretty close on this one. What I'm about to say will surprise you- I still want to see her race Rachel Alexandra even though it now appears that Rachel would be a decisive favorite. After seeing their last two races I think of Zenyatta as undefeated and Rachel Alexandra as a Superhorse.

In her last race out, Flashing, a 3-year old filly finished third (of three) to Rachel Alexandra in the Mother Goose Stakes on June 27th- beaten by a wopping 31 lengths. So what did she do in her next race? Won the Grade 1 Test at Saratoga.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Bobby Flay Announced the 8th Race at Saratoga on Sunday

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Daily Racing Form's Steven Crist summed it up pretty well on his blog-

"5:00 pm: Which was the most surreal part of the 8th race? The skies opening the moment the field started loading into the gate? The race's being called, and not very well by "guest announcer" Bobby Flay? Or the victory after an agonizing nine furlongs in 1:53.07 by 32-1 Freddy the Cap, trained by Finger Lakes-based Oscar Barrera Jr.?

Maybe none of the above. If you watch the replay carefully, coming out of the first turn, it appears winning rider Sebastian Morales is hit in the head by an unfortunate seagull, who bounces off him and then hits Julien Leparoux, (TR Slyder's note: that means from the 7 horse to the 9) aboard A Zero Trap, also in the head. At this time I can not determine the further fate of the seagull. "


The seagull strike is right at :39 seconds when Bobby is saying "the club sandwich turn". It hits the horse in the lead right as they pass the 8th pole (I think it's the 8th)- The white pole with black and white stripes and a gold ball on top. You can't see it flying in very well, but you can see it flop after impact and go from the 7 to the 9. Once Bobby says "they go around the club..." lean in and really stare and it's fairly easy to see.

P.S. When is Bobby gonna get a show called "The Bobby Flayshow"? (If you didn't get the joke, don't ask a co-worker to explain it).

I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Queezy Reezy won the Amsterdeezy

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Quality Road won the Amsterdam Stakes on Monday at Saratoga. TR Slyder scholars will doubtlessly remember that he was my pick for the Ky Derby before a recurring hoof injury sidelined from then until this race on Monday. Most people felt that Quality Road would need a race or two under his belt before he could be expected to be at his best. It appears that he was at his best today because he set a track record- not too bad considering that horses have been running at that track for 141 years.





Did the jockey's silks on the #5 horse look familiar? They are the same ones as Rachel Alexandra's jockey wears (as seen below with Calvin Borel up). They're the silks of Stonestreet Stables, who own the #5 and Rachel.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Jay HOVA is the Male Rachel Alexandra of Rapping

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Our Boy, Jay-Z, just headlined some festival in place of the Beastie-Boys. He opened with this badass cover of No Sleep Til Brooklyn. He covered the parts of the song sung by MCA who just announced he has cancer (I forget of what, and I'm too lazy to look it up right now), which is why the band dropped out of their gig at the festival.

Great song, great cover song. You're crazy for that one, Rick.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Rachel Alexandra Humiliates the Boys in the Haskell Invitational on Sunday

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

She is unbelievable. ESPN was derelict in not showing this race, but that is beside the point. I digreezy. The point is Rachel Alexandra is ludicrously awesome. You can watch the race (via YouTube) below. Over a sloppy Monmouth Park surface, she beat Belmont Stakes winner Summer Bird and Multiple Stakes winner Munnings in a time that was 2/5ths of a second off the course record. Not too shabby for a filly over a sloppy track.




Her connections still have no plans to run her in the Breeder's Cup, and I am still not blaming them.

Rachel is better at being a successful female racehorse than I am. And I have to live with that. Every day of my life.





I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Don't Ask Me to Hate This

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is pretty hilarious.













I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

I Disappointed Myself Again. Why? Because, Sadly, I Can't, I Won't and I Don't Stop

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

1) I'm a loser
2) I have too much free time
3) My memory is at best when the subject matter matters the least
4) I was searching for a particular Little Caeser's commercial and wasn't able to find it, but while looking for it, I watched a few other Little Caeser's commercials for old time's sake.
5) This was one of them (You'll have to listen to the whole clip for #6 to make sense).


6)Then I realized that that dog's voice was sampled at the very beginning of the song heard here: (The official video of the song can't be embedded, so I had to use this video version, which is actually amusing, but the audio clip is the important thing, and it's spot on).


7) Now you see why I am disappointed.

More Commercial Fun

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

While this commercial doesn't belong in this esteemed company, it wasn't bad back in the day. My mother loved it and it was from this commercial that I first heard the word "Origami". True story.

The Only Reason The Diamond Has Never Done Crack

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com




(My apologies if you have, Joe)

TheBron Getting Dunked On: All Sizzle, No Steak

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

How Anal Retentive must Nike to deem it necessary to confiscate this crap? The Bron switched over to help a defender and arrived too late. It wasn't even LeBron's man who dunked, and tt wasn't like he got banged on or anything.

That's Brisk Baby

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



For some reason I still think about this commercial about once a week.

TR Salutes Harland Williams

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com





joke @ the 4:00 mark of the below video is outstandingly crude.
















I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.