Plaxico Burress Back in the Lead for Dumbest Ass In NFL

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


As I intrepidly reported last week, Ohco Cinco was, for a time, the dumbest ass in the NFL. But Plaxico Burress has shot that theory (and himself in the leg) to hell. He shot himself while in a club. I really hope this is the song that plays when his name is announced.

Just to be sure, lets make a list of all of the stupid things you see here.

1. Handling a gun in public
2. Handling a gun in a club, where you're likely drinking alcohol
3. A high-profile person doing #s 1 and 2
4. Handling a gun and pointing it at any human being, yourself included
5. Pointing the gun at a human being while at a club
6. Discharging a gun in public
7. Discharging a gun that is pointed at another human being, yourself included
8. Being a professional athlete and discharging a gun in public while it is pointed at your leg


This is the funniest celebrity shooting in a bar since Johnny Paycheck, singer of "Take This Job and Shove It" shot a man in the head over a dispute over which tasted better: turtle meat or deer meat.

You know on YouTube, when you search for something like a music video, and you see like 990 versions of moron teenagers doing their impressions of that video? I think that's what Plax was trying to do. He was making his bling'd out, club version of this YouTube classic where a police officer accidentally shot himself in the leg while teaching elementary school kids about gun safety.




And this blogger says well done, Plaxico. You are one of the stupidest people I have ever heard of.