Hey Leee

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

As you may be aware, I like the Chicago Cubs, and they have a player named Derek Lee. Because of this clip, and me being a moron, I say "Hey Leeee" everytime he is mentioned. It sucks and so do I.

Please Don't Turn a "Blind" eye Toward me

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

One of my favorites

Ken Jennings Doin' What he do

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I almost forgot about this little doozie.

When Jesus and Flatulence Become Synergistic- Farting Preacher 4

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Thank God this is back on YouTube. Watch it while you can.



Thank you, Jesus *toot* Thank you, Jesus *toot* Thank you Jesus.

I Hate Chris Matthews, and so Should You.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You know how people like add "East" or "West" to already existing places in order to describe newer places? Like someone may call Atlantic City, "Las Vegas East", or call Miami, "Rio de Janiero North"?

I'd like to start the movement to call Chris Matthews, "Glenn Beck Left". However, if you'd prefer to call him, "Old Tingley Leg" instead, I'd also be ok with that. What a scrotum.

Turns out Brendan Fraser Wasn't "The Missing Link" Afterall

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Turns out it was that thing in the picture. Who knew? Oh yeah, these guys.

Don't Judge a Book By Its Title

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Despite the name "Paris Hilton" being in the title, this book looks pretty entertaining. Based upon the synopses I've read it reminds me of Clubland, By Frank Owen, which was later turned in to the movie Party Monster. I read that book and enjoyed it.

Some High-Grade Stupidity, Bristol Palin Style.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Bristol Palin told People Magazine, "If girls realized the consequences of sex, nobody would be having sex. Trust me. Nobody."

Doesn't this necessarily mean that she was unaware of where babies came from, and/or that STDs existed? You know how when you read an article involving speculation or gossip, it's common for people to reply, "I call bullshit on this one"? Well, I call dipshit on this one.

Secondly, with the absolute language of, "Nobody.", Does she think that knowledge would prevent a newly-outed 22 year-old single gay man on Ecstasy at a gay nightclub from having sex? Isn't that guy "somebody"?

So at age 17 or 18, Bristol didn't know where babies come and at age 18 she doesn't know that gay people have sex. Maybe she should stop talking to the media.

Another Great Website

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

FMyLife.com.

Need a pick-me-up? This site will cure what ails ya. It's like a Twitter/Message Board/Sounding Board/Place to Vent. But only for things that totally suck AND are hilarious.

Examples:

Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML

Today, a litte girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then proceeded to put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML


Shout out to Erika for introducing me to this website.

Cool New Website

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The Memory Palace. It's got an NPR feel about it, in the best way- intelligent, and the author's voice has the NPR requisite lullaby-quality voice. If you like getting your Cliff Clavin on with little-known factoids, this site is for you.

I'm gonna plagiarize the Freakonomics blog to save myself time (note that I didn't copy their links over here, despite it looking like I did. I'm lazy.)

" History is full of half-forgotten tales. That time, for instance, when the British thought Ben Franklin was helping the French build a death ray. Or when everyone in the Netherlands accidentally got high for a year on rye bread tainted by a psychedelic mold. Or how a dentist’s visit to Carlsbad Cavern inspired a doomsday weapon that could have ended World War II, if the atom bomb hadn’t done it first. Nate DiMeo has been collecting these stories, in short, wonderful podcasts, on a site called The Memory Palace. "

I can recommend this site for sure. It's pretty new and there are only a handful of stories yet. But they are all between like 3 and 5 minutes (they're all done in audio form), so you don't have to devote much time to the site if you aren't willing. My favorite one is High Societies, especially the part about St. Catherine of Sienna.

One complaint about the site is that it offers the title of the piece and it's duration, but offers no description as to the story. The good news is that every one of them is good.

My Disappointment in Cubs Vendors

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

So the Cardinals vendors concocted this t-shirt. Apparently the humor lies in the notion that 1. Carlos Zambrano is Hispanic, and, 2. Lower-class Hispanics commonly mow lawns for higher class people. Obviously that is hilarious because it's racially insensitive and because the Cardinals have a number of Hispanic players as well. Great job, Cardinals t-shirt mongers!

But the Cubs recently countered with an equally offensive/not funny t-shirt, only it was far less original. It says simply, "Pujols Mows My Lawn" and uses the same image. If you're gonna set your brain to "offensive t-shirt mode" shouldn't it be funnier?

I would have liked to have seen, "The Cardinals signed Pujols at a Home Depot Parking Lot" on a t-shirt instead. Then the t-shirt could feature his stupid squatty stance in the parking lot, signing a contract that is being handed to him by a guy with a crappy pickup truck with the Cardinals logo on it.

Step up your game, Cubs t-shirt mongers.

This What Results When Uninformed Writers Act Informed

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


This is a great example, courtesy of ESPN's wind-bag-in-residence, Rick Reilly.

Let's take it from the top.

Problem 1: The title is, "The Greatest Horse in the World Will get to Stretch her legs in the Preakness"

The Problem: No one thinks she is the greatest horse in the world. She may not even be the best female horse in America. Zenyatta, who is 9-for-9 and blew the doors off the competition in last year's Breeder's Cup Ladies Classic, the most prestigious female race in North America, is still in training. Rick either decided to irrationally leave her out, or has no idea she exists. I'll go with the latter- and that's just the females. No one has ever alleged she could or would beat the likes of Einstein or Commentator, or even fellow three year-olds I Want Revenge or Quality Road, for that matter.

Problem 2: Sentence #1 starts with "If you love to see a strong female take on the boys, if you think fillies should be given every chance to compete with studs..."

The Problem: The word "studs". Studs mean horses that have sired children. Horses in training (i.e. still racing) are forbidden from being sires. She will never race against a stud in her life, nor will any other horse. Studs do not race.

Problem 3: The third paragraph is one (erroneous) sentence long: "In fact, she's the fastest racehorse in the world"

The Problem: That is not a fact at all. Reilly may have been tempted to anoint her as such because he saw her visually stunning Kentucky Oaks victory which resulted in a Beyer Speed figure of 108. However, fellow three-year old I Want Revenge ran a 113 in the Gotham Stakes on March 7th. In the Florida Derby on March 28th, Dunkirk ran a 108 and Quality Road ran a 111. And those are just other three-year olds.

Furthermore, "fastest" implies she is a sprinter, which she is not.

That assertion is akin to saying that the man who runs the fastest mile is the fatest man in the world. That's cool, I'll take Usain Bolt. As much as I enjoy Rachel Alexandra, she would be no match in a sprint versus horses like Fabulous Strike, Kodiak Kowboy or Commentator.

Problem 4: First sentence, 9th paragraph, "That left Rachel Alexandra to race in the biggest fillies race in America—the Kentucky Oaks—the day before the Derby."

The Problem: The Kentucky Oaks, though a very prestigious race for fillies is certainly not the biggest monetarily or in terms of prestige. With the Oaks's purse of $500k, the Alabama Stakes at Saratoga is bigger at $600k. But that's not the only one. In 2008, the purse for the Breeder's Cup Juvenile Fillies was $2 million, four times larger than that of the KY Oaks.

Problem 5: The ninth-to-last paragraph where Rick implies that fillies are more likely to die in races versus boys.

The Problem: He ignored two well-documented racing facts. One is that, for whatever reason, match races, like the one that ended Ruffian's life-as Reilly mentions, are historically much more likely to cause a horse to break down. And, two, Eight Belles did not die because she raced against boys, she died due to multiple breeding links to notoriously feeble-boned sire Native Dancer, a breeding pattern that herself up for that fall.

And do you know where I learned #2? From an article on Reilly's own ESPN.com. It was written by an actual horse racing journalist, Bill Nack- who was portrayed in a prominent role in the ESPN movie about Ruffian. So it appears that Rick Rielly saw the movie about Ruffian, then decided to throw in a reference to her in an attempt to seem familiar with the history of horse racing. It's too bad he didn't consult his ESPN.com colleague who could have informed him of his feeble writing about horses.

Ordinarily, I am excited to see any mainstream media outlet cover horse racing- the more exposure for this ailing sport, the better. I even give passes to authors when they are extremely topical and don't offer any incite into racing, just the publicity alone is enough for me. Despite Reilly's feeble allusion to past legend Ruffian, and his gavel-pounding declaration about Rachel Alexandra's current global domination of all things equine, it's obvious that he knows very little about the sport and this column was woefully under-researched.

Good topic, dreadful column, Rick Reilly.

Moral Majority

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I saw heard this the other day about the Moral Majority:I thought that was pretty funny and very true.

Then I thought of a great name for a punk band: Mmm...Oral Majority

The Most Interesting Photo in the World

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I don't always look at nude little person with vacum cleaner pics, but when I do, I prefer this one. Stay awesome, my friends.

Best Song to Have in Your iPod to Workout to

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is ALWAYS the song I put on when I'm trying to crank out the last stretch of a long run. This doesn't show the video, but the audio quality is good and it isn't edited.



I Woulda included Kanye's Workout Plan, but I couldn't embed the video, so I nixed it.

Another Ditty

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

If you don't like this song, jumpoff ditty. Then please do not ever visit this blog again.

Girl, I Must Waaarrrrrnnnnnn Youuuuu

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The last posting I made reminded me that I need to needed to post more awesome videos from the Embarassing Clothing Era of hip-hop.

That One Commercial Reminded me That I, and Everyone, Loves This Song

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Don't try to hide that smile when this song starts up. How this song isn't a wedding staple is beyond me. This song is such a hit, he should be considered a "Two Hit Wonder".




That being said, I'd want to be just friends with Biz Markie. But I still like the song a lot.

And to all of my personal friends: Please be patient while I attempt to learn that dance he does at the end. Thank you.

I'm a Black Woman, and I Luuuuuve This Posting

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is among the best local commercials of all time, out of North Carolina. I'm still trying to figure out of the awkward handshakes are acting, or if it was real life and filmed on a hidden camera. I know when I shake hands with someone I give a limp handshake, then look away toward where cameras would be, but I assumed I was the only one.





Here is their homepage.


(that clip courtesy of Dr. Kevin. If this doesn't change your Uncle's opinion about you Kevin, then it's HIS loss!!!)

Barack Kept it Pretty Greezy At the White House Correspondants Association Dinner

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You can get your watch on right here. Good to see Ashton Kutcher at the 9:48 mark. It really woulda sucked if he couldn't have made it. I hope he Twitters about it, then I am forced to read about how he Twittered about it.

Update (less than 12 hours later): Son of a bitch. It already happened.

Up-update: It happened again. Maybe I should stop reading HuffPo.