TR Salutes- New Eminem Song

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This is by far his best work in a long time. The lyrics aren't safe for work. But he does get an official TR Salute because he is the first rapper I've ever heard of to use the word "bidet" in a rap song. The closest any rapper I had previous heard to saying that word was Red Man on MTV Cribs when he referred to it as his "booty wetter".

Congratulations, Eminem. I salute you.







That's how I roll.

A Very WhereAwesomeHappens Christmas

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

We do it every year here.




















Oh, and this AWESOME video that is NSFW. Made by the same guys who did the Charlie Brown video above.






That's how I roll.

YES!!! Romania's President Punches a 10 Year-old boy in the Face

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter




Aweshome. Best politcal news since the Mayor of Toledo called a kid "fatso", but not as good as the former premier of Slovakia's dingles in full effect at Silvio Berlusconi's party.





That's how I roll.

Offensive Math 2.0

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Some of you may remember this post. I finally thought of a follow up. I'll have to set it up a bit since my HTML skills are a bit limited. I'm going to post 4 pictures, the answer to the word puzzle will be combination of the 4 in order, left-to-right, top-to-bottom. My final clue: the name of each picture is only one syllable.






































Answer:


I guess I also could have gone with Ron + Jew + Horse + Key. But this way was potentially offensiver.






That's how I roll.

Hell yeah

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter








That's how I roll.

How Paul Pierce's Dunk on Chris Bosh is Like Weird Science, the Movie

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter




This was Paul Pierce's dunk on Chris Bosh the other night. You'll notice a few things. 1- that was a monster dunk over Bosh. 2- He kneed Bosh in the nuts. 3- Pierce got a technical for taunting a man that he already kneed in the nuts.

Sound familiar? It should. Remember the bar scene in Weird Science when Gary has too much to drink at the Blues blue and winds up talking jive with the regulars and winning them over?


There's a part of that conversation (sadly, it isnt in the above clip, but it's from that scene) when Gary is telling the fellas about a chick he likes that does not seem to like him. After detailing his devotion her, he then informs that guys what his efforts have gotten him. Gary says, "She knee'd me...." before Lisa interrupts and says, "She knee'd him in the nuts and called him 'Faggot' in front of everyone." Isn't that exactly what Paul Pierce did to Chris Bosh? Nuts kneeing followed by taunting?

But the similarities don't end there. After Lisa finishes the story, Gary adds, "She broke my heart in two!", to which one of the gentleman adds, "She broke more than your heart". Remember Gary's reply to that (and his final sentence of the scene before he collapses on the floor)?: "That's the truth!". And "The Truth" just happens to be Paul Pierce's nickname.

Eerie, I know.





That's how I roll.

Lookalikes v28.0 Matt Painter and Todd Pletcher

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Purdue head coach Matt Painter and horse racing trainer Todd Pletcher. I think they look alike a fair amount, but I couldn't find any pictures that really drove the point home. Pletcher looks pensive and wooden (and tanned) in most pictures, while Painter is always screaming on the sidelines or he is smiling placidly for an official (thumbail-sized) photo. But if you see the two of them talking, you'll see the resemblance. Trust me. Here is the best I could do.





























That's how I roll.

You Still Got it, Silvio Berlusconi

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

What? Doesn't every head of state threaten violence against his call-girls, have mafia ties and then assault the mother of his call-girl for having a big mouth?









That's how I roll.

Paula Deen Hit In Face By a Ham

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


update: you can watch the video here now that it has been removed from YouTube



I gotta give credit where it's due. She took it like a champ though, she's got a chin like Joe Frazier. Glad she's ok.






That's how I roll.

Jay Cutler

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I think it's time we start calling Jay Cutler, Sid "Bad" Luckman.








That's how I roll.

Highdeas

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Polekat $lim just introduced me to www.highdeas.com. It's pretty self-explanatory. Some of them are pretty rad. Like this one.

make everyone grow weed

save up all your seeds for a year then come spring time go to all your fav home improvment stores like home depot lowes walmart ect. go to the garden section and sew your seeds throughout the garden department so people would buy a nice orchid and they take it home and weed grows up next to the plant that they bought. just make weed so rampant that the war on marijuana would futile. that would be sweet

or this friendly post....

Heres Too You

I don't know you, but your out there. We smoke at the same time sometimes. I think hey I wonder if theres a someone out there saying hey here's too you buddy. Because I'm thinking that.

this isn't as friendly, but thought provoking....

FAT KIDS???

If a fat kid falls in the forest do the trees laugh?

Lighter Holster

Y'know that little pocket in your jeans? The one that's too small for anything? Well turns out its perfect for holding a lighter! Its like a holster for pot smokers!

quick ponder

why the fuk does the english language have a c??
its job is already takin kare of by s and k..
its like a poser someone should just tell it to be itself and make a new sound

Stoned off Airheads

I just smoked out of a pipe I made out of airheads, I ate it afterwards. One of the best ideas i've ever had.

:)

Penguins are the titz

you know those pictures of penguins that you see when thousands of them just bunch together in a giant orgy like clump for warmth? Im I the only one who wants to be super baked and go stand/snuggle right in the middle of all of them so that i can feel like im being hugged by thousands of fluffy penguins at once? and maby throw a chubby little asian in there too there fun to poke.

Cast spells

Man I wanna be able to cast spells we should research this asap.

did you ever realize ?

when you think about it...your nose runs. and your feet smell.

World Peace?

Get this. Giant Banana Suits. For everyone. Because lets face it, no one could be mad at a guy wearing a giant banana suit.

World Peace? Achieved.

disappearing food.

when i'm high, and i have a sandwich or a slice of pizza or a bowl of chips, i always take a bite, savour the deliciousness, then look down at what's left, and get so happy because i think, "look how many more bites i could take" and then i get to the last bite, and i'm like, "fuck, there wasn't as much as i thought there was."
does this happen to anyone else?

something to think about...

3 years ago, the Chinese calendar was the year of the cow....Mad Cow disease was rampant.

2 years ago, the Chinese calendar was the year of the bird.... Avian flu was rampant.

This year, the Chinese calendar is the year of the pig . . . Swine flu is rampant.

Next year is the year of the cock . . . . Anybody else worried?

wicked cool evolution

i think it would be hella cool if people could slither around like a snake then when u lyin down on the couch after smokin and want sumfin but dont wanna get up u could just slither around

Midget Village

Buy a forest. Adopt 8 midget babies every year (mixed race). Be the only non-midget around and raise them to think you're their god.

That's how I roll.

Something I Still Think is Dumb

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Remember my rant in July where I thought it was stupid for complete losers to say "God bless" instead of goodbye? My rationale being that if you are going to be ordering around God to bless people (whatever that means) at your discretion, you must be pretty damn important. So when someone from the shallow end of the gene pool orders God to bless you, I find it somewhere between hilariously ironic and tragically misguided.

Well, we have a concrete case of that in today's news. An 800-pound South Carolina man was too fat to get out of his recliner. As in he never got up once for a few months. He'd do his restroom business from the comfort of his recliner and his wife would dispose of it. He eventually died the other day from, an H.A..

How do the two tie in? "The former preacher would post sermons online from the chair, and it wasn't long before he decided he was ready to go home to the Lord." His wife went on to say, ""Everybody kept telling us, if you get here, we'll help you. We didn't have no way of getting him up, and nobody was willing to come help us. He just kind of said, 'it's in God's hands' at that point." "

It was in God's hands. It's not like there's anything a human can do about losing weight, especially one who doesn't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. How bad does your life have to suck in order to heed the teachings of a preacher who is too fat to NOT poop in a recliner? If you're too fat to live, at least don't preach to people. Literally.

Update: He out-pathetic'd "shitting the bed". He shit the recliner. I'm gonna start saying that.






That's how I roll.

Cartman Being Awesome

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter










That's how I roll.

This Clip from Conan Was Dynamite

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

It's about time someone took that Twilight movie to task for being lame.




That clip was one of the funniest things I've seen on late-night TV in a very, very long time.









That's how I roll.

Maybe the Most Intriguing Blind Item Ever- Revisited

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


CrazyDaysAndNights.net was recently added to my links in the margin because it's a doozy. A while ago I posted that this site released answers to nearly all of their blind items. As luck would have it, the one blind item that was not answered was the most intriguing.

Firstly, here is a link to the (lengthy) blind item. It's too big to do justice by summarizing, so I suggest reading it for yourself. The nuts and bolts of it is that around 2001 a VERY famous pop musician wasn't who we thought she was. She had a separate woman doing her vocals for her on her albums and even did the voice for all of the stars lip-synched concerts. The woman who did the actual singing was paid hush money and was fun with the arrangement until the payments stopped. That's when she went to this blogger with her story.

So that story was put on his blog a few years ago, and since it's the third anniersary of his blog, he's been adding a new clue each day of the week. You can see Monday's clue was added at the end of the story I linked. Tuesday's clue can be found here. Wednesday's isn't out just yet.

It's also worth noting that this blog has the best user comments of any blog ever. Everyone tries to make a guess or put forward their rationale for why they think their answer is correct, and they leave behind the usual offensive comments or "First!!!!".

So far the leading candidates for the identity of the pop star among the commenters seem to be either Britney Spears or Jennifer Lopez, but plenty other names have been bandied about.






That's how I roll.

Google's Veteran's Day Banner. Kinda Phallic.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Seriously? You didn't think we'd notice that, Google? Nice to see that phallus soldier is standing at attention.








That's how I roll.

This Puts the "Queer" in "Querie"

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


You know how Dunkin' Donuts sells donut holes? I wonder any leather stores sells the buns part of chaps.





That's how I roll.

My Kinda Woman: Update

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Remember when I posted this awesome video of a news anchorwoman swearing when she thought she was at a commercial break?



She was back in the news today because she said she used to drink before newscasts in the '80s. She's like a female Ron Burgundy, and still my kinda woman (but was even moreso in the '80s.)








That's how I roll.

Idea for Geezers and one for Hetros

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

You know how high school seniors always wear shirts that say crap like, "Seniors Rule!", "Seniors, '09" or, "It's a Senior Thing, you Wouldn't Understand", etc.? I think old people, i.e. Senior Citizens, should rock those on occasion. I'd laugh my ass off if I saw an old timer in a HoverRound rocking the hell out of one of those.


I didn't have any pictures of geriatrics. So I went with the two-man luge instead.

update: That was odd. I knew there was another wacky theory I wanted to add but couldn't remember it. What's odd about that is that it was two man luge related. ish.

The theory is that since we know that when a gay dude has a fake girlfriend to give the illusion of his heterosexuality, is the opposite- when a straight dude feigns a boyfriend to appear gay, called a mustache? I totally should be. It works so many (2) different levels.







That's how I roll.

Bill Simmons' Book Stops a Bullet- and the Sports Nation Host Michelle Beadle Insults Guest When She Thinks We Can't Hear Her

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter



Yesterday ESPN's Sports Nation, ESPN writer Bill Simmons appeared as a guest to promote his new book, The Book of Basketball. In an attempt to show how large the book is (750 pages) the crew sent correspondent Kevin Wildes to a gun shooting range to see if the book was thick enough to actually stop a bullet. The owner of the shooting range, Ray has the honor or shooting the Smith and Wesson 9mm at the book. Ray's appearance reminds me a bit of the Comic Book guy on the Simpsons- overweight, bearded and his lack of charisma, in tandem with his apperance, make him seem a little creepy.

So they shoot the book and it stops the bullet and Kevin sends it back to the studio to resume the interview with Simmons. Moments later Ray then brings out a higher caliber gun, and the show kicks back to the shooting range. While Ray is preparing to shoot, you can clearly hear co-host Michelle Beadle say, "Ray scares me" at the :58 seconds-remaining mark.






That's how I roll.

Oh Hell Yes!! Best Idea of All Time

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I needed to post some fun animal pics after my last link. I robbed all of these from The Chicago Tribune and were taken by Heather Charles (who did a great job). These pics kick rear.

The Animals at Brookfield Zoo were given pumpkins. Genius.

Whirl samples the cuisine

(Tribune photo by Heather Charles / October 28, 2009)

Whirl, a female 2-year-old Amur Tiger, licks a pumpkin at the Brookfield Zoo. Animals were given pumpkins as part of zoo-wide behavioral enrichment program and a Halloween treat.

Pumpkins for Hudson's habitat

(Tribune photo by Heather Charles / October 28, 2009)

Hudson, a male 2-year-old Polar Bear, carries a pumpkin through his habitat at the Brookfield Zoo.

Nadaya's pumpkin

(Tribune photo by Heather Charles / October 28, 2009)

Nadaya, a male 8-year-old Western Lowland Gorilla, eats a pumpkin at the Brookfield Zoo.

Almighty Isis

(Tribune photo by Heather Charles / October 28, 2009)

Isis, a female 4-year-old African Lion, stands and holds a pumpkin in her mouth at the Brookfield Zoo.

Boo at the zoo

(Tribune photo by Heather Charles / October 28, 2009)

Axhi, a male 14-year-old Grizzly Bear, while he eats a pumpkin at the Brookfield Zoo.

That's how I roll.

Why Reduce, Re-use and Recycle?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I am just going to link to these photographs and not display them. They are of deceased Albatrosses in the North Pacific. I'm actually being serious. The link is here, but read the rest of this before you click on it. What killed these young albatrosses is that they ate garbage. They were fed garbage because in the polluted oceans where their mothers look for food for them, they see bits of colored plastic and other detritus and think they are food. So the pictures are of decaying albatross bodies but with a clearly visible, non-decaying mashup of human garbage inside their gullets. It's super sad.







That's how I roll.

My World Series Pick

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Phillies will win. I just want it on record when I make fun of the Yankoffs for losing.






That's how I roll.

More Awesome Songs From Circa 5th Grade

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter








I HIGHLY Recommend this video- Piledriver. A video done by then-WWF and the video contains the WWF doing construction. It's Rad.










That's how I roll.