Something I Still Think is Dumb

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Remember my rant in July where I thought it was stupid for complete losers to say "God bless" instead of goodbye? My rationale being that if you are going to be ordering around God to bless people (whatever that means) at your discretion, you must be pretty damn important. So when someone from the shallow end of the gene pool orders God to bless you, I find it somewhere between hilariously ironic and tragically misguided.

Well, we have a concrete case of that in today's news. An 800-pound South Carolina man was too fat to get out of his recliner. As in he never got up once for a few months. He'd do his restroom business from the comfort of his recliner and his wife would dispose of it. He eventually died the other day from, an H.A..

How do the two tie in? "The former preacher would post sermons online from the chair, and it wasn't long before he decided he was ready to go home to the Lord." His wife went on to say, ""Everybody kept telling us, if you get here, we'll help you. We didn't have no way of getting him up, and nobody was willing to come help us. He just kind of said, 'it's in God's hands' at that point." "

It was in God's hands. It's not like there's anything a human can do about losing weight, especially one who doesn't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. How bad does your life have to suck in order to heed the teachings of a preacher who is too fat to NOT poop in a recliner? If you're too fat to live, at least don't preach to people. Literally.

Update: He out-pathetic'd "shitting the bed". He shit the recliner. I'm gonna start saying that.






That's how I roll.