3 Quick Thoughts

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

1. I just read that Erin Andrews called 911 and the tape was released. She called 911 because a car was parked in front of her house in her gated community. Apparently she felt that those people were papparazzi, so called to have them moved. That all makes sense. But I remember her telling someone in an interview (I think it was Bill Simmons's podcast, but I'm not sure) that her favorite website is TMZ. And that is how karma works.

2. One of the first thoughts I had after hearing that Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz had cloudy tinkle was how disappointed John Kerry must be. While on the campaign trail in 2004, Kerry famously told a reporter that his favorite Red Sox player was, the non-existent, "Manny Ortez".

3. If you're filming a movie and your budget is under $40, does that jogger dude/babydaddy from Juno automatically join the cast? Or is your indie script green-lighted only after you promise to include him? Does he just show up on the first day of filming after having found you?

Update: I guess I had more to say on the second topic than I initially thought.

I really don't care that the Big Ortizer flunked his wiz quiz. It was in 2003 when it was agreed upon that the players' identity would never be disclosed, there was no penalty for a positive test, and it was just for information gathering purposes. It wasn't illegal in 2003.

When I realized that I don't care that the Big Ortizer tested positive, I was surprised at how little I cared. Then I realized that my apathy was twofold.

Fold #1) It isn't shocking. He was a slugger during that era, and his power numbers fell off the table this year. That raises flags. Even Red Sox fans speculated that he used PED's.

2) I tend to associate steroid useage with "unfair advantage", and I tend to associate Red Sox with, among other things, "Yankees". So when I heard that he was juicing one of my first thoughts was, "Oh man, doesn't this necessarily taint their 2004 World Series? Wait, was it steroids alone that broke the Curse of the Bambino?? Maybe they never should have beaten the Yankees in record-setting fashion in the 2004 ALCS!!" before I even finalized that thought, I woke up and remembered what baseball era this is. The 2004 Yankoff team that they beat included known juicers Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi. And those are just the ones we know for sure. Sadly, in this instance Papi's use of the juice merely made for a LEVEL playing field.

3) Even though I don't feel this taints their series with Yankees, that doesn't mean that Ortiz's career numbers aren't tainted. Of course they are. I'm sure his success came at the expense of countless pitchers who were playing within the rules, and maybe the Red Sox didn't even deserve to be in the 2004 ALCS.

In a way, his ascent to stardom mirrors Clemens's prolonged success- they both rose from their ashes after being discarded- Clemens by Boston, and Papi with Minnesota. It has been reported that Clemens began using once he was traded to Toronto, due at least partly, to make Boston regret his release, thereby preserving his ego. It's possible Papi did something similar upon arriving in Boston.

The point of all of this is that Bud Selig is a shitty comissioner.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.