Being a Cubs Fan is Like Being in Brokeback Mountain

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


It's true. Being a Cubs fan is like being in Brokeback Mountain: I wish I could quit them, and all they do is B.F. me.


Why Fukudome was in the lineup is something I will never understand. And how he is fooled by breaking balls 100% of the time is even less excusable. Kosuke, how about you sit on a breaking ball and not on a fastball sometime? Seriously. If I saw a three year old girl look as bad swinging and missing as you do on off-speed pitches, I'd tell her to quit baseball immediately.

Lee, Ramirez and Soriano- We should call you The Halloween Hookers, because you guys do a LOT of laying down in October- and make a LOT of money doing it too. Good god. Eli Manning's goobery hangdog face is more confidence-inspiring than the looks on your loser faces in the playoffs. I would be legitimately excited if I saw all three of those chokers benched on Saturday. I have had enough of seeing them look like beaten men in the playoffs.

You guys are gonna give Ron Santo an H.A.