This Just Makes Me Uncomfortable

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Kirk Cameron is starting a campaign to discredit Charles Darwin on the 150th Anniversary of the release of, 'Origin of Species'. Good luck with that one, Kirk.

As someone that isn't a total imbecile, one of the last tasks I'd ever want to undertake is to attempt to disprove that theory.

When I want my science news, I don't turn to arguably the most iconic scientist in history like Darwin. I prefer to get mine from a poodle-haired guy who played make-believe for a living that he had a friend named Boner.









That's how I roll.

I'm Just Gonna go Ahead and say This

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This will be a rather crass post, so pardon me in advance.

As many of you know, Caster Semenya of South Africa was scrutinized for her gender ambiguity a few weeks ago. Tests concluded that she is kinda mixed gendered, and has 3 times the normal testosterone levels for women. Naturally, this as engendered a lot of question asking about whether she should be allowed to compete against women, should her accomplished be allowed to stand, etc.

Now that the bio is out of the way, my first question is: Is it wrong to think her name sounds like a bad porn about a casting couch game show maybe something like- "Cast or Semen ya! (Or Both)." I picture it like The Price is Right with a cheesy host who selects a non-virtuous woman from a crowd then, while he's bringing her onstage to meet the casting director he says to the lucky contestant "Ok, Dominique Perignon, if in fact that is your real name, let's if if the Director will...." then the crowd finishes his sentence in unison, "Cast....or Semen Ya!". Then the hosts shrugs his shoulders and says, "or both!" while the laugh track plays.

I also read that her gender was being formally questioned by track and field officials, so my other question is, how can she get a fair trial regarding her gender when her last name is "Semen ya?" Doesn't that kind of taint or lead the jury? Semenya, as in, "Jeez, Allison, if you wear that dress tonight all the guys are gonna want to semen ya". For a woman named Caster Semenya to get an objective jury would be like a guy named Archie Murdersya getting a fair homicide trial, or Angela Nabsyakid getting a fair kidnapping trial. * Imagine being a dude with this mixed-gender affliction and trying to convince people you are not a woman. Oh, and your last name is Lactatesya.

I bet she has this conversation 8 times a day.

"No trust me, I'm a woman."
"What's your last name, ma'am?"
"Semenya"
"Oh, so you think this funny, wise guy?"


I'm not saying it's ok to laugh at transgendered people, but I am saying, it's ok to laugh at their last name if it sounds like a crude sexual manuever.



*- I just learned that gender is determined by scientists and not in a court of law by a jury. But you can still imagine what it would be like.






That's how I roll.

Funny or Die Video

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This is a call from celebrities to protect insurance company profits.

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

That's how I roll.

ManBearPig

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

As genius as I find South Park, and as indecisive as I can sometimes be, it surprises me that I have a clear-cut favorite episode. This one titled Manbearpig- you can watch the full episode at the link, I recommend it if you have the time. Here's a synopsis if you don't have the time- the South Park kids wind up trapped in a cave with Al Gore. The cave scenes are a bit of an homage to Goonies and Al Gore feels the need to step in be their protector from the biggest threat to planet Earth. The threat comes from Manbearpig- "half man, half bear, and half pig". Being that Al Gore appears to be the only person who has every heard of Manbearpig, he feels pretty darn important in his protecting the world from such a vicious, heinous entity. To know Manbearpig is to be terrified of him, conversely, if you AREN'T afraid of Manbearpig, that's even scarier. Whether you know it or not, Manbearpig is to be feared.

While the episode spoofs Al Gore being the lone protector to us from Global Warming, I find a lot of parallels today coming from the right wing reactionaries. I'm not saying its all Conservatives, or all Republicans, but the right wing certainly has a few fear mongers among them. I found the video below to be pretty similar to Al Gore protecting the South Park kids from Manbearpig.











That's how I roll.

TR Salutes: Cooper: Photographer Cat

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

You don't have to be a cat lover to appreciate this awesome photography- you just have to like stuff that's awesome. This idea is genius and straight from the "why didn't I think of that??" department.

Seattle couple Deirdre and Michael Cross decided to affix a light-weight digital camera to the collar of their cat, Cooper to see what he sees while they are away.

From September, 26th 2009- April, 11 2010 Cooper's photography can be seen at the Peggy Notebart Nature Museum in Chicago's Lincoln Park neighborhood.

Cooper's homepage can be seen here and his Flickr photostream can be seen here.










That's how I roll.

TR Salutes: Larry Johnson's Hair Tackle of Troy Polamalu

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Sure it's a few years year old, but I still love it. It's easily my favorite NFL play of the past 5 years and represents all that is good about sport (as they say in England).

I can't wait until this guy gets an interception.










That's how I roll.

Most Awesome Event Possible

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

After reading about Floyd Mayweather's drubbing of Juan Manuel Marquez, I instantly hoped he'd fight Manny Pacquiao, like I think everyone else did. Then it reminded me of a subject I have never mentioned on here before- that I hope Rachel Alexandra races Zenyatta. Then I thought they should combine the two- the boxing match could take place in the infield, and betwixt rounds the horse race could run. That got me thinking- that could be the begining to the best sporting event possible. So I tried to think of other things to add to the festitivities. Since I don't want the name of the event to end in -palooza, I should probably call "TR Slyder Presents: Awesome"

- A barbecue cookoff could also take place in the infield (down wind from the boxers and after the horse race)

- Complimentary bacon and alcoholic beverages

- Everyone working the concession stands and all ushers are orangutans or chimpanzees.

- Free elephant rides

-Rod Blagojevich and Bernie Madoff dunk tank

- Celebrity prop bets. For instance Nickelback would promise to quit if Mayweather wins, and if Pacquiao wins, Megan Fox stops trying so hard. If Zenyatta wins, The Hills goes off the air, and if Rachel Alexandra wins, Billy Bush murders himself. If the two underdogs both win, Heidi and Spencer have a duel and draw at 15 paces- each shall be armed with dirty bombs that is lethal from 400 yards and in.

- Free corndogs for the kids

- Mike Ditka is the MC of the event, with Tony Sinclair as co-MC.


- Brendan Fraser and Frankie Muniz have a knife fight a la the Beat It video, on the Pacquiao/Mayweather undercard. Sanjaya can be ring girl.

- Tents will feature offshoots of Guitar Hero like Tuba Hero, Recorder Hero, and Ukelele Hero.

- Chesley Sullenberger, Ron Santo, the inventor of the Wienermobile, John Madden, Bob Knight, Joey Chestnut and Harvey Pack will be milling around the premise mingling while dressed as superheroes.

- Viking and Pirate Costumes encouraged (especially for people with jheri curls)

- Macarena every hour, on the hour

- Break Dancing lessons

- Whispy facial hair and jheri curl petting zoos





















Amen.













That's how I roll.

Delonte West popped carrying 2 Guns and a Shotgun

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Here is a repost from 4/24/09

Delonte west got popped for carrying two guns AND a handgun on his motorcycle last night.



This is a reposting from 4/24/09 from this blog.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is funny/horrendous.

When he pleads ignorance, people believe him.

My Over-Thought/Over-Reaching Metaphor of America

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I'll post the YouTube clip, you can think about a possible metaphor, and scroll down to see if it's similar to mine. The clip is worksafe and is a tv commercial from 2007 you've probably seen before.




I think this clip sums up what's wrong with America.

There are plenty great things about our country, but I think this neatly sums up the bad stuff. It hits upon: vapid celebrity glamorization, talentless people becoming celebrities, consumer culture, the acceptability of ignorance, sex selling, using all of the aforementioned to sell a product that encourages sloth, and in the clip she is dressed as her Daisy Duke character- which is a from a warrantless movie-ization of a television classic that highlights what is rotten in the state of Hollywood.

While Ms. Simpson gained initial (semi) stardom from a music career, she become a mega-watt celebrity from a reality show. What about her on the show made her famous? Her marked stupidity and large boobies. She parlayed these two (well, three, I guess) into a career that was long on commercialism and short on talent. Because she is pretty yet untalented, her team of handlers found projects for her- largely products that already existed for her to do again, worse than the originals, and sell to American consumers. She re-did a Goldie Hawn movie, the Dukes of Hazard, and the only song of hers I can recall is her remake of Berlin's Take My Breath Away, which no one felt needed to be redone. Had she been more talented, she could have written her own songs or been signed to original movies. She wasn't, so didn't.

I'm not trying to put her down personally, I don't blame her for accepting what people offered to her. The reason this clip is a metaphor is because of her system of handlers who perpetuated such crass commercialism.

What resulted from her unoriginality? DirectTV said, "Wow, people will respect her as an authority figure regarding their selection of cable providers. Sure, we could have a respected intellectual cite polling data that shows the popularity of our product, or even hard evidence of our product's superiority, but would people listen to them? Sex sells beer, clothing, beauty products, grooming accessories, eye glasses, I bet it can sell cable television too! But we'll have to parlay her stupidity into something useful. Maybe we'll have her recite some technical mumbo jumbo that consumers don't understand, and instead of educating the consumer, we'll imply that their understanding is unimportant, no, glamorous! Yeah, that's it! Our message will be- let other people think for you, especially a famously unintelligent woman with big boobies!"

And maybe it worked. I have no idea how successful, or not, this advertising campaign was for DirectTv.

Two years later Ms. Simpson is now known primarily as a pop culture puppet whose career is currently in a tailspin. But there is good news- Hollywood is still cranking out prefab movies, the test scores of American students continue to hit all-time lows relative to other countries, and new celebrity puppets are popping up all the time.









That's how I roll.

Thanks for Coming out, Wolf Blitzer.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Wolf Blitzer- the least trusted name on Jeopardy.

While watching Conan the other night I saw them show Andy Richter's Celebrity Jeopardy rehearsal. It was Andy, Dana Delaney and Wolf Blitzer. In the rehearsal (shown below) Andy beat the pants off the other two, which didn't shock me- the funniest person in the room is often the overall smartest. What did surprise me is what a wooden moron Wolf Blitzer is. I used to think that he was relatively quiet on his show out of respect for his guests and deferring to them as often as he could. Now I think he just has nothing to say. He finished Double Jeopardy in BOTH the rehearsal and the actual Jeopardy episode's with a negative dollar amount.

The show is basically The Andy Richter show, with an occasionally outlandishly wrong Blitzer answer. At times I thought, "Jeez Andy, shut up and let someone else talk." before realizing it wasn't a conversation but a competition.

To quote G.W. Bush, "Wolfie, You're doing a heck of a job."


The Rehearsal


The Actual Episode Part 1


Part 2



Wolfie, keep effin' that chicken.











That's how I roll.

Part 2 of the Grant Achatz 8-Piece Column for Atlantic

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I liked the first installment better, but I figured I'd post the second one anyway.

Here it is.






That's how I roll.

Ernie Anastos, I Didn't Realize Anchors are Allowed to say That

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This video contains the F-Word, so it's probably not worksafe. Being that it contains a vulgarity, I promise to be offended once I stop laughing. I wish the punchline weren't written atop the YouTube window, because it would be hilarious if you didn't know it was coming.

Great Work, Ernie Anastos






That's how I roll.

About That Little Girl That Threw Back the Foul Ball

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I'm sure most people have seen the clip by now about the little girl at the Phillies game. Whenever I saw it replayed on television the presenters would say something like, "Can you believe it??" or, "Get this....now watch what she does with it...." as if we should be surprised.

Whenever you hand a child a ball what do you encourage them to do with it? Hold it? Put it in their pocket for later? No, you teach them to throw it. Then when the child throws it, you tell them that they did a good job as to encourage them to throw it again next time they have a ball.

Being that the father in the clip seemed to be a Phillies fan, and if he brought his daughter to a game, he probably hopes she will be a baseball fan as well. That being said, I'd imagine she had been handed a ball before and encouraged to throw it, FAR more times than she had been handed a ball and instructed to hold onto it. In fact, she'd probably never been allowed to hold onto a ball in public for that very reason.

I don't blame the father for handing her the ball- when you catch a foul ball, you handed it to the nearest kid, whether you know them or not. But I am not surprised that the little girl threw it, she thought that's what she was supposed to do with it.

As always, big ups to BF Skinner and Carl Rogers.







That's how I roll.

Eliot Spitzer Talking About the AIG Bailout and Goldman Sachs

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

He may have a randy wang, but he's about the only guy who can make a Wall Street Executive squirm under oath.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

That's how I roll.

Extending a Helping, Chimp Hand

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Click here to see Anjana's first appearance on Where Awesome Happens from 10/13/08






That's how I roll.

More Rationale for why Chicago Cannot Afford the Olympics

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter



I got a tweet from the Chicago Reader today linking to this article. It basically says that the city of Chicago is broke, Mayor Daley's approval rating is 35%. That article also links to this article, which has an attention-grabbing first paragraph to illustrate how broke the city is:

Earlier this month, Chicago Mayor Richard Daley released the latest round of alarming budget numbers, this time projecting a $300 million shortfall over the coming year. The deficit led City Hall to send out 1,500 pink slips to Chicago city workers, cuts which the Chicago Federation of Labor is still working to avert. In response to the news, Crain’s columnist Greg Hinz noted that the layoffs — if finalized — would only fill “about 10% of [the] hole in the city budget.” He went on to ask: “So, where’s the city going to get that kind of cash?”

That article is very informative, but the required reading for that article, which is also linked in that Chicago Reader article by Ben Joravsky, can be found here. It explains how the Tax Increment Financing (TIF) works. It's a rather shadowy and relatively unknown tax policy of Mayor Daley's, but is arguably his most insidious. I copied the most basic, short answer of what they are and pasted it below.

OK, one more time—let's review how this sucker works. When the City Council approves a TIF—always with Mayor Daley's blessing—it freezes the amount of property tax dollars the schools, the parks, the county, and other taxing bodies get from that district for 23 years. If the schools were getting $100 from a TIF district when it was created, that's roughly all they'll get until the TIF expires. Any extra tax money, generated by rising assessments or new development, goes into the TIF fund, which Mayor Daley is free to use largely as he wants.

Think about this. If the schools, parks, and county can only get $100 from a TIF district, what do they do when their expenses go up to $200? They have to raise their levies—the amounts they each get from the property tax pie—to compensate for the money diverted to the TIFs. When they do that, property taxes go up. No matter what the city tells you, TIFs are tax hikes, plain and simple—the more you create, the higher taxes go.

It might not be so bad if we only had three or four TIFs. But there are 156—and the city is proposing new ones every month. The existing TIFs divert at least $400 million a year in property taxes. At their current rate of growth, in a few years they'll be diverting more than $500 million a year.

You may be reading all of this and thinking, "Ok, is it really evil that your mayor has your tax dollars at his disposal?" The surprising answer is "yes". As mentioned above, Mayor Daley gets to do whatever he wants with this revenue. These are what finances a lot of his grandiose, heavily-reported-on expenditures. So while government employees are furloughed, and teachers are laid off, TIF funds paid for the new park on the South Side where Mayor Daley is seen cutting the ribbon, proclaiming his championdom of the impoverished, and kissing the babies.

So when he is the guy saying, "Look, just give Chicago the Olympics, and I'll find a responsible way to pay for it, that places minimal burden on the taxpayers. Would I lie to you?", it's difficult to believe.







That's how I roll.

More Synthetic Track Uncertainty

(that was just the first horse pic I randomly found in my pics folder. I'm pretty sure that isn't a synthetic grass surface that Ouija Board is on)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I didn't find anything about this article to be conclusive, but I'll pass it along anyway. It's a Chicago Tribune article about the synthetic surface at Arlington. The 2009 season has seen fewer equine breakdowns but has had two jockeys left paralyzed after falling from their horses. The article speculates about whether or not a synthetic surface is any less safe for jockeys to land on after falling off their mount.

The article can be found here.


One paragraph I found to contain some concrete info was:

Data released in 2008 from 2,235 injury reports showed virtually no difference in the fatality rates for horses racing on synthetic surfaces compared with conventional dirt. The information was presented at a safety summit at Keeneland.








That's how I roll.

Where Awesome Happens Fashion Column

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I'm trying out a new column where I dispense fashion advice. Today's piece of advice is never look like this or this:


























That's all for today.









That's how I roll.

When Will MTV Change its Name to DTV- Drunk Television?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


When MTV decided to not show much "M" on their TV channel they opted Real World-ize their network. What that really means is that their channel was centered upon showing drunk people.

Kanye West's drunken antics highlight MTV's formula perfectly- just shock the audience, the rest of the stuff is just filler.

Every year before the Video Music Awards and MTV Movie awards, MTV runs an hour long commercial for their upcoming show and disguise as something titled, "The 20 Most Shocking VMA Moments". Instead of celebrating artistic achievement in music, they choose to celebrate that one time that a guy from Rage Against the Machine climbed up on the set, acted desctructively and was arrested. That is what MTV wants you to remember about that night. Instead of whetting your appetite for an upcoming awards show by asking the potential viewer- will your favorite artist win an award, or will an artist give us a legendary performance, they show us that hour-long drivel in hopes we will ask ourself, "Will someone actually pee or poop on stage this year? I guess I'll have to tune in and see!"

As a kid I remember asking my dad what being drunk actually was, and what drunk people did differently than non-drunk people. I didn't know what "drunk" looked like. Thanks to The Real World and MTV, kids all over the country know exactly what it looks like

The Real World is based more on alcohol than it is reality, for years the formula of the show has been: Put good looking people with drinking problems and explosive personalities together, add alcohol. Lots of alcohol. What results is raw human emotion: fighting, crying and sex. Where MTV tries to pass that product off as allowing us to view this distilled humanity, all they're really doing is profiting from the drunk guy at a party. It is little surprise that recruits for these shows at bars, of all places. Funny how that works out.

What do people remember about the Real World? Not people who stopped being polite and started being real. Not young men and women growing as people as the result of living among people from different backgrounds- like MTV would have you believe. You remember the drunken fights, threesomes, arrests and hospital trips- none of which would have occurred without alcohol.

MTV's formula has worked. I wouldn't be talking about them now if Kanye had not had his outburst on Sunday. And he wouldn't have had that outburst if he were sober. While MTV got its shocking moment for the 2009 VMAs, and generated plenty of buzz, its means for getting said buzz is sad and tired.

I read a heartening article about how VH1 plans to scale back their reality show formula after a contestent on Megan Wants a Millionaire murdered his girlfriend then killed himself. Their formula was to take the crazy rejects from dating shows like I Love New York, Rock of Love, and Flavor of Love and create a reality show that highlights their alcohol-fueled crazy behavior. After the murder and subsequent suicide from one of their "stars" VH1 is re-thinking their formula.

When experts are trying to figure out why binge drinking on college campuses is at an all-time high, I hope they consider MTV's formula. An 18-year old college freshman has never known a world that didn't glamorize drunken behavior on television. Maybe one day if they party hard enough and hone their skills as being the drunken loose cannon they can be among the national elite of their craft and appear on the Real World. Or the Hills.

I would be willing to bet that MTV spends more time showing drunk people than they do music videos- that's certainly true during Primetime. Why not just come clean and change their name to DTV?












That's how I roll.

I liked this Article

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I got saw this when from my ChicagoReader Twitter feed.

It's by Chicago chef/restauranteur Grant Achatz. And no offense, but there is a very good chance he is a better chef than you are. His Chicago restaurant, Alinea, was voted the best restaurant in America last year by the James Beard Foundation. In this article, the first of an eight part series, he talks abou the importance of wine and food pairings.

His first installment is about when he first discovered the two can be paired symbiotically, and he realized it wasn't just BS. I thought the article was cool because he was once skeptical of the concept of pairings being so important, even though he is as accomplished as chef can be.

Anyway, here is the article.








That's how I roll.