Saturday, July 4, 2009

Suggestion to Improve the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest
















By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The pregame introductions at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest are the best introductions in sports- whimsical, entertaining, and mildly educational. The antithesis of this is the introductions at professional soccer matches, especially in Europe, where the players walk out holding hands with children, then exchange flags, and a bunch of other pomp and circumstance that reminds me of the introductions on Iron Chef.

Soccer just needs to abandon all that foolywang, but I think the hot dog eating competition intros would be even funnier if they came holding holding hands with random Coney Island kids during the introductions as seen below.



Friday, July 3, 2009

Lookalikes 24.0- Tim Lincecum and Mitch Kramer from Dazed and Confused

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

WhereAwesomeHappens loyalists/documentarians will recall my posting about Tim Lincecum looking like the offspring of Fall Out Boy and Don Flamenco (Note that his relation to Don Flamenco, also makes him related to Steve Carrell and Martin Gramattica). Now that Lincecum has his hair longer, he reminds me a lot of Mitch Kramer, the kid from Dazed and Confused (Played by Wiley Wiggins).

In addition to their uncanny physical similarities, they also act similarly. Remember the scene in that movie where the Seniors stake out Mitch at the baseball game and wait for the game to end so they can paddle him? Do you remember which position Mitch played? Yup, he was a pitcher as well.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find a picture of Mitch pitching, or in his baseball uni, for that matter, so we'll have to make do with these.











































View all WhereAwesomeHappens Lookalikes

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Dooey Decimate System

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I'm hearing a lot of PSA's now to prevent drunk driving over the 4th of July weekend. I'm all for it, driving drunk is terrible. I'm also not afraid to call a DUI a "Dooey". Therefore, I think that the PSA's against drunk driving should simply say,

"Get a Dooey, go to the hooey."

Two Brassy Boys. Very Brassy.


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I read this article on TheBloodhorse.com about the highly-touted 2-year old, Brassy Boy, returning to the races on Saturday.

**********
UPDATE: I'm dumb. The race is Tonight, July 3rd. NOT on Saturday. Post time is 6:24pm. Up until post time, you can get the Past Performances here.

TheBloodhorse article was the first I'd heard of Brassy(, Very Brassy) Boy. After checking out the PP's he underwhelmed me. For being 5-1 on the morning line, he's a little light in the Beyer Speed Figure department, and may just be a mud lover. But he does love the Churchill surface. Here's hoping he wins.
**********


I know what you're wondering- Does that remind me of any famous lines from a TV show on the Disney Channel from a few years go staring Shia LaBoeuf? Funny you should ask. Yes it does.

It's as 6:52 of Part 2. If you have the time, you should check out Part 1 though as well, the show, and this episode in particular, are pretty awesome.

Part 1


Part 2

Thursday, July 2, 2009

More Than Just a Good Punk Band Name- It's Also Good For You: Super Tuna
















By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I think regular Tuna is pretty super, imagine how much I'd like Super Tuna! If it's as super as I think it would be, I'd get on my knees and thank Baby Jesus AND Baby Allah (why all the talk of Baby Jesus but not Baby Allah? That doesn't seem fair.).

If you read the article, you'll be re-re-re-re-reminded of how much of a mongoloid Sting is. In an effort sound intelligently and sanctimonious he ballsily signed a petition to end the serving of Tuna. Who did he petition? The ridiculously powerful Reverend Moon? Maybe a commercial fishery like Chicken of the Sea, Bumblebee, or Starkist?

Nope. Celebrity chef Nobu. Not the people Nobu buys his Tuna from (like the aforementioned Moon), nor a major, major fishery. A celebrity. Probably the only person that Sting knows that sells Tuna.

I digressed with the Sting bashing. The point is, Super Tuna is gonna be awesome.

Ass-men Need not Apply

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


While checking out jobs on LinkedIn.com I noticed this job posting. If you have an account with LinkedIn you can view the posting here. Otherwise, just check it out below. I thought the wording was funny.



Sr. Web Developer- Front End at Playboy

Location: Greater Chicago Area

URL: http://www.playboyenterprises.com

Type:
Full-time
Experience:
Mid-Senior level
Functions:
Information Technology
Industries:
Online Media, Internet, Entertainment
Posted:
June 5, 2009
Pay Description:
commensurate with Experience

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Beavis and Butthead


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Don't expect me to hate that lookalike pairing.

United Airlines Attendant Honoring Michael Jackson

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Click here to see the innovative way one gentleman chose to mourn the loss of Michael Jackson.

The New "Ledge" on the Sears Tower Skydeck is Now Open


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The Tribune has a good, brief write up about it with another picture.

This isn't the most non-gross thought ever, but if they had a toilet with a clear tube going down all 103 floors, and cameras on like every 5th floor beaming the image up to a huge wall of monitors where you could chart your urinary freefall- would you pay $5 to use it? Then maybe like $4 more for a DVD copy of your journey? I'd probably pay the 5.

Where the Wildly Obese Things Are




















By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The results are in. Drumstickroll please. The fattest state in the United States for the fifth year in a row and still champion, Mississippi! Congratulations Mississippi, your adult obesity percentage of 32.5% took the cake.

Update: Sorry if that mislead any Mississippi readers- that was just a figure of speech. No cakes were awarded.

Here's the breakdown of the results.

1. Mississippi- Adult Obesity %- 32.5
2. Alabama- 31.2%, which is up from last year. Way to dig deeper, guys. Into the fried chicken bucket, that is.
3. West Virginia- 31.1%. Country Roads, Take Me to McDonalds.
4. Tennessee- 30.2%. Nice to see the Volunteer state was volunteering to have seconds and thirds of dessert.


Here's Where Bad Parenting Comes Into Play- Childhood Obesity Rankings.

1. Mississippi- 44%
2. Arkansas 37.5%
3. Georgia 37.3%


Where Chubby-Chasers Fear to Tread- states with the lowest % of obesity
1. Colorado- 18.9%
2. Massachusetts- 21.2%
3. Connecticut- 21.3%


What's especially puzzling is that Mississippi, Alabama, West Virginia, Tennessee, Arkansas and Georgia- the fattest states for adults and kids, all voted for John McCain in the 2008 election.

Phrased differently, the fattest states all voted against the candidate who ran on the Health Care For Everyone platform. If I were obese, I'd probably want free health care. I guess these states really don't want Obama's handouts, unless of course, they're wrapped in bacon.


To see my video compilations of fighting childhood obesity, click here

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Why I Call him "Al" Instead of "Reverend" Sharpton




Shake that Rev-Rear-End, Al Doggie!!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


What is the definition of "Reverend", any? According to Merriam-Webster it's?

1: worthy of reverence : revered


Well that makes sense. What about "reverence" then?


Main Entry:
1rev·er·ence           Listen to the pronunciation of 1reverence
Pronunciation:
\ˈrev-rən(t)s, ˈre-və-; ˈre-vərn(t)s\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin reverentia, from reverent-, reverens respectful, reverent
Date:
14th century
1: honor or respect felt or shown : deference ; especially : profound adoring awed respect2: a gesture of respect (as a bow)3: the state of being revered4: one held in reverence —used as a title for a clergyman

synonyms see honor



Hmmm. It's not that I expect everyone to be models of nobility every instant of every day, but when your title is "Reverend" and it's part of your name, you should refrain from pelvis-on-pelvis activity in public if you expect anyone to find you reverend.

Doin' the loose booty while publicly celebrating the life of a child molester isn't engendering my "adoring awed respect" for you, Al.

Good Write-up About Zenyatta and Rachel Alexandra

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Brought to you by Dan Illman of the Daily Racing Form

06/29/2009

Rachel vs. Zenyatta?

Like a large locomotive slowly building momentum, Zenyatta crept up to the leaders entering the far turn of Saturday's Vanity Handicap. Despite her undefeated record and 3-10 post time odds, one could feel the tension in the steamy simulcast facility.

"She's too far behind," exclaimed one punter.

"She doesn't look comfortable," chimed in another.

"What's Smith waiting for?" asked one more worried fan.

The concern was contagious. For a moment, no one spoke. Then, Zenyatta did the talking. If Mike Smith was a conductor on the big train, he would have blasted the horn. Zenyatta dropped her massive head, and picked up steam. For the eleventh straight time, she circled her foes, and then passed them with a minimum of fuss. For the eleventh straight time, she crossed the wire in front. For the eleventh straight time, she returned to the winner's circle to bask in the wild cheers of her home crowd.

Less than thirty minutes earlier, and 3,000 miles to the East, the main challenger to Zenyatta's claim as best horse in North America, Rachel Alexandra, absolutely crushed two overmatched foes in the historic Mother Goose Stakes. Rachel is younger, more tactical, and arguably more exciting than Zenyatta. She's frenzied dance music to Zenyatta's classic rock. Different strokes for different folks, but true aficionados enjoy the best of both genres.
Rachel Alexandra won the Mother Goose by 19 1/4 lengths. A remarkable feat to be sure, but the margin of victory still fell a length shy to her amazing performance in the Kentucky Oaks on the first Friday in May. Rachel Alexandra has won her last three starts by a combined 40 1/2 lengths. The combined margin of all eleven of Zenyatta's wins stands at 26.
They are two of the best thoroughbreds we've seen in recent years, and they couldn't be more different. Zenyatta likes to lope along at the back of the pack, and doesn't kick into gear until the final three-eighths of a mile. She has won on dirt, but is the poster girl for synthetic racing.
Rachel Alexandra likes to be near the action from the opening bell. Sure, she "rated" in the Mother Goose, but only because her opponents engaged in cutthroat fractions in front of her. No doubt, Rachel likes to hear her feet rattle, and she can keep that pace up for a long time. Plus, she earned her reputation by beating the best males of her year in the Preakness Stakes, the second jewel of racing's hallowed Triple Crown.
Will they ever meet? The odds are against it. Racehorses are fragile creatures. One misstep in the stall can cause a multiple-month respite from competition. Zenyatta will likely retire at the end of the year. Rachel's connections won't ship to Zenyatta's home base to run on a synthetic surface. But, if they do. If they do. It would be the battle racing fans, denied a Big Brown vs. Curlin clash last fall, have demanded for years. There's nothing like star power to sell a heavyweight bout. Zenyatta vs. Rachel? A racing fan can dream.

So, who would you take?

Timothy Stephen Rogers of Reading, Massachusetts saw This Movie in the Theater

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Sadly, Mr. Rogers plays the same "stupid cop games" that our diminutive cop friend does as well. You'll see what I mean.




Monday, June 29, 2009

Ian Schrager to Purchase Chicago's Once-Lengendary Ambassador East Hotel and its Pump Room Restaurant

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

If the name is familar, it may be because you knew him as the business-oriented half of the two owners of Studio 54. This will be his first Chicago property.

You can read about it here in Crain's Chicago.

This Dude is my new Role Model

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Karl Pilkington.

Monday Morning News Roundup with Acronyms/Initials


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


B.M. to get BF'd in prison for 150 years.

A medical examiner said it's likely B.M. (a different B.M. than the previous one) died of an H.A., not Natasha Richardson style. It would take a LOT of might putty to mend my broken heart.

Mahmeezy Amadinajeezy vows to find the real killer of Neda. You'll know he's serious about it when he enlists OJ to help.

Phil Rogers of the Chicago Tribune effectively says about Zambrano: You S a lot of C. Time for you to leave, take your high ERA with you.

Random thought: Did MJ get his gayness from his Dad, JJ? Sure he's married, but that doesn't mean he never a got a BJ through a GH on the DL.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Mariano Rivera Had More RBI Than the Chicago Cubs Today


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


It's true. Here is the Boxscore for the Yankees. And here it is for the Cubs.

Unbelievable. The Cubs season and dignity are over. He out-RBI'ed the Cubs in only his third career plate appearance.

I'm just glad I'm not a Cubs blogger or work for the organization so I'd be obligated to watch them. The only way this season could get worse is if my mother would call me to inform me that 1) the Cubs just acquired Todd Hundley again and, 2) I was an accident. With a guy other than who I thought "my dad" was.

Here are the cut-and-pasted versions


CHICAGO (35-37)


AB R H RBI BB K LOB SEASON AVG.
SorianoLF 4 0 2 0 0 1 1 .235
TheriotSS 4 0 0 0 0 2 1 .283
BradleyRF 3 0 0 0 1 2 1 .232
Lee1B 3 0 1 0 1 1 0 .289
FoxDH 3 0 0 0 1 1 3 .326
SotoC 4 0 0 0 0 0 3 .223
Freel3B 2 0 1 0 1 1 0 .160
FukudomeCF 3 0 0 0 0 1 3 .260
Blanco2B 3 0 0 0 0 0 2 .239
TOTALS 29 0 4 0 4 9 14
DOUBLES Soriano (17)
LEFT ON BASE 7
STOLEN BASES Freel (1)
ERRORS Theriot (6)
CHICAGO PITCHING

IP H R ER BB K HR SEASON ERA
Zambrano(L, 4-3) 5.1 9 5 4 2 3 1 3.69
Patton 1.2 3 0 0 0 1 0 5.32
Hart 1.0 1 1 1 1 0 1 2.45
PITCHES / STRIKES Zambrano 97-60, Patton 27-16, Hart 20-10
GROUND / FLY Zambrano 9-9, Patton 2-3, Hart 3-1
TOTAL BATTERS FACED Zambrano 28, Patton 8, Hart 5

And the Yankees...


NEW YORK (43-32)


AB R H RBI BB K LOB SEASON AVG.
JeterSS 2 1 1 0 3 0 0 .309
SwisherRF 2 1 0 0 1 0 0 .237
HughesP 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 -
MatsuiPH 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .246
BruneyP 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 -
RiveraP 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 .000
Teixeira1B 4 1 1 2 1 1 3 .276
Rodriguez3B 1 0 1 0 3 0 0 .232
Cano2B 4 0 0 0 0 0 8 .297
PosadaC 3 0 1 1 0 0 0 .272
CabreraLF-RF 4 1 0 0 0 1 1 .286
GardnerCF 2 0 0 0 2 0 0 .289
WangP 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 .000
CokeP 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
DamonLF 2 0 0 0 0 0 2 .288
TOTALS 27 4 4 4 11 2 15
DOUBLES Jeter (15), Teixeira (22)
RUNS BATTED IN Rivera (1), Teixeira 2 (60), Posada (33)
2-OUT RBI Rivera
LEFT ON BASE 8
SACRIFICE FLIES Posada
STOLEN BASES Cabrera (5)
CAUGHT STEALING Cano (3)
DOUBLE PLAYS (Jeter to Cano to Teixeira)
NEW YORK PITCHING

IP H R ER BB K HR SEASON ERA
Wang(W, 1-6) 5.1 4 2 2 3 3 0 10.06
Coke(H, 5) 0.1 0 0 0 0 1 0 3.31
Hughes(H, 2) 1.1 0 0 0 1 1 0 4.44
Bruney(H, 7) 0.2 0 0 0 2 1 0 2.84
Rivera(SV, 18) 1.1 1 0 0 0 2 0 2.93
INTENTIONAL WALKS Rodriguez (by Hernandez), Teixeira (by Feliciano), Jeter (by Rodriguez)
PITCHES / STRIKES Wang 85-49, Coke 6-4, Hughes 16-10, Bruney 15-6, Rivera 23-16
GROUND / FLY Wang 12-3, Coke 0-0, Hughes 1-1, Bruney 0-1, Rivera 2-0
TOTAL BATTERS FACED Wang 23, Coke 1, Hughes 5, Bruney 4, Rivera 5


Courtesy of Si.com

Billy Mays Found Dead This Morning- Did he get his Natasha Richardson on?


By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Et tu, Billy?

Update: It sounds like he died from what Natasha Richardson died from, Talk and Die Syndrome. That weird condition where you take a mild blow to the head, seem woozy but more or less fine, then you just drop dead a little while later.

Billy's death could have been the result of him hitting his head on the underside of the overhead compartment during a bumpy landing on his airline flight last night.

Here is his last interview- given last night to a Tampa news station regarding the flight's rough landing and Mays getting hit on the head.

Click here to check out a collection of my favorite Billy Mays pics.

Oh, Billy: A Visual Celebration of Billy Mays.




By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


My Homage to Gossip Columns

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Who would you rather have look after a loved one? Dr. Jan Adams or Conrad Murray? That is to ask, the doctor that botched the plastic surgery of Kanye West's mother, or the doctor that couldn't shoot Michael Jackson full of a non-fatal amount of Demerol? Hippocrates would be proud of both.

























Update: One other doctor that I have found to be more reputable than these two is this gentleman:


Hubba hubba. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

Update #2: It was just me. But Dr. Kevin is still the man.