Since When Was "Sensitivity" an Essential Trait For a Rock Musician?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


I'm watching Letterman right now and there's some total wussy band on right now. This isn't the first time I've been fed up with the wussification of rock music, but the first I'm blogging about it. I realize the death metal genre still exists and all that, but I'm talking about rock music. What the hell happened to Motley Crüe, AC/DC and Guns n Roses? When I was a kid, rock musicians were dangerous. If your mother heard you listening to (even mainstream) rock music she'd tell you to turn it off. Why? Because they were dangerous! Motley Crüe once declared themselves "The rudest, the crudest, and usually, the nudest rock band in the world". Where the HELL did that ethos go?? Those are words to live by!

Today's rock musicians are all sensitive poontangs. They're all 5'4'', have dyed hair, painted fingerails, wear tight black jeans with cardigans, have wussified whispy facial hair, and look like they'd throw a baseball like a girl. It's awful. Fucking Linkin Park, are you kidding me? All they're songs are just complaints set to music. Same with Coldplay, good god. And Fall Out Boy, too. We get it guys: you were losers in 7th grade and the constant putdowns affected your psyche and hurt your feelings. Seriously, we get it. Point taken. Please stop. Can't you deal with your pain by kicking ass, trashing hotel rooms, being an asshole, and legendary drug and groupie binges? That will make you get over being called dork in Home Ec. class a lot faster than wearing a cardigan, tight black jeans and singing about being a latch-key kid. Trust me.

You suck, contemporary rock.