Gene Keady, How Could You?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Growing up in Indiana in the 80's and 90's, I became a fan of (then) Purdue basketball coach Gene Keady.

But then I read this headline and it REALLY pissed me off: Gene makes People fat, Raises Alzheimer's Risk(!!!!!!).

What a dick. So does he hide in people's houses and slip bacon and aluminum and mercury in people's diets? He really could use some gene therapy. total a-hole. But I will say this; the man does good work, especially in Chicago. My hat is off to him for his job making Chicagoans obese. All I have heard about you is true, Gene: you're one hell of a competitor.






That's how I roll.

Yes! Thank You.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter










That's how I roll.

Air France Makes Obesers Buy a Second Ticket

(photo courtesy of TR Slyder on the #8 Halsted Bus last August)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Details here.

If the Chicago Transit Authority did that, they wouldn't be bankrupt and announcing reduced operating hours to shore up a $300 million dollar shortfall in the CTA budget that will cost over 1,100 people their jobs. Trust me, we have the fat manpower to cover that bill and save those jobs. Trust me.






That's how I roll.

Something I Still Think is Dumb

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Remember my rant in July where I thought it was stupid for complete losers to say "God bless" instead of goodbye? My rationale being that if you are going to be ordering around God to bless people (whatever that means) at your discretion, you must be pretty damn important. So when someone from the shallow end of the gene pool orders God to bless you, I find it somewhere between hilariously ironic and tragically misguided.

Well, we have a concrete case of that in today's news. An 800-pound South Carolina man was too fat to get out of his recliner. As in he never got up once for a few months. He'd do his restroom business from the comfort of his recliner and his wife would dispose of it. He eventually died the other day from, an H.A..

How do the two tie in? "The former preacher would post sermons online from the chair, and it wasn't long before he decided he was ready to go home to the Lord." His wife went on to say, ""Everybody kept telling us, if you get here, we'll help you. We didn't have no way of getting him up, and nobody was willing to come help us. He just kind of said, 'it's in God's hands' at that point." "

It was in God's hands. It's not like there's anything a human can do about losing weight, especially one who doesn't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. How bad does your life have to suck in order to heed the teachings of a preacher who is too fat to NOT poop in a recliner? If you're too fat to live, at least don't preach to people. Literally.

Update: He out-pathetic'd "shitting the bed". He shit the recliner. I'm gonna start saying that.






That's how I roll.

Eager to Achieve Obesity?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

There is probably a health care debate joke in here somewhere. KFC is unveiling what is ostensibly a neo-Atkins sandwich. The sandwich lacks bread, and in its place are two pieces of fried chicken breast. While it isn't on KFC's website, I'm sure you can find it shortly on ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com.


update: I may have spoken too soon. Just use this dietary supplement after eating that KFC burger and you should be fine. Let me rephrase that: you probably will not gain weight.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Fatness in the News Today

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Tim Magazine asks Why Are Southerners So Fat?

Today's Chicago Tribune had a link saying, "1 in 4 Illinoisians Declared Fat", which brought you to the page I linked. The link has a different headline, but the teaser from Tribune page had me thinking.

I wonder if they were declared obese like from medical testing measured against a standard definition for obesity, or if someone dressed up like a king with a red, velvety cape, a crown and scepter and walked around Illinois "declaring" people obese right off the street. The "King" could make it sound all regal, and use a stuffy British accent to make his very loud and bold public declaration, preferably starting with "Hear ye, hear ye...". I hope they also announced the date in super long form like, "It is on this 9th day of the 7th month of the Solar Calendar, in the year of our Lord that is the Two thousand and ninth, the I do declare, under auspices of the Queen, myself and the Incorporated State of Illinois...."

Then maybe he could boldly proclaim his rationale for his declaration, "Due to a buttocks that is reminiscent of a sack of wet laundry, triceps that could feed a cannibalistic tee-ball team, and waist line that would not fit inside of an inner tube, I, the King, declare you obese!"




For information on my Fighting Childhood Obesity Iniatitive, click here

Where the Wildly Obese Things Are

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The results are in. Drumstickroll please. The fattest state in the United States for the fifth year in a row and still champion, Mississippi! Congratulations Mississippi, your adult obesity percentage of 32.5% took the cake.

Update: Sorry if that mislead any Mississippi readers- that was just a figure of speech. No cakes were awarded.

Here's the breakdown of the results.

1. Mississippi- Adult Obesity %- 32.5
2. Alabama- 31.2%, which is up from last year. Way to dig deeper, guys. Into the fried chicken bucket, that is.
3. West Virginia- 31.1%. Country Roads, Take Me to McDonalds.
4. Tennessee- 30.2%. Nice to see the Volunteer state was volunteering to have seconds and thirds of dessert.


Here's Where Bad Parenting Comes Into Play- Childhood Obesity Rankings.

1. Mississippi- 44%
2. Arkansas 37.5%
3. Georgia 37.3%


Where Chubby-Chasers Fear to Tread- states with the lowest % of obesity
1. Colorado- 18.9%
2. Massachusetts- 21.2%
3. Connecticut- 21.3%


What's especially puzzling is that Mississippi, Alabama, West Virginia, Tennessee, Arkansas and Georgia- the fattest states for adults and kids, all voted for John McCain in the 2008 election.

Phrased differently, the fattest states all voted against the candidate who ran on the Health Care For Everyone platform. If I were obese, I'd probably want free health care. I guess these states really don't want Obama's handouts, unless of course, they're wrapped in bacon.


To see my video compilations of fighting childhood obesity, click here