Florida Being Florida.....Again

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy: If you've ever tased a Wendy's employee for incorrectly processing your order, you might be a Florida resident.

The taser became enraged when she wasn't given what she thought was the proper amount of mustard and mayonnaise packets, proving once again that you gotta fight for your right to obesity.

Update: Police have confirmed the woman was tased and not Toews'd.

Update update: Authorities now speculate that one way to avoid a fats food employee screwing up your order is to make your own food.







That's how I roll.

Are you There, Florida? It's me, Weirdo: More Florida Awesomeness

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Thank you to Polekat $lim for sending along this link with the dialogue: and on and on and on it don't stop.... So true, my friend. So true.

Florida is awesome at having crazy people live in it. It's like the Men's Club of America.






That's how I roll.

More Florida Awesomeness

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



When your kid finds your stash of The 'ornography. Don't do this.

Andy yes, it took place in Tampa, FL. The home of Polekat $lim.

Once Again: We Salute You, Florida

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Florida once again contributes to our country's achievement in intellectualism. This vigalante legal maverick attempted to extend the powers that the police have over commerce. It failed badly.

Some good came out of it though. Now we know the answer to the decades-old debate: Should you call 911 if McDonalds is out of Chicken McNuggets?

Two Ways to Express Displeasure Over the Thanksgiving: The Florida Way.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


If you find yourself fatigued with the giving of too many thanks over the weekend and you wish your guests didn't stay so long, here's an idea: Chase out dinner guests with a machete. According to Annette Jenkins of Tampa, Florida, it works.


Or if you are displeased at how a friend of T.R. Slyder is trying to surreptitiously take phone pics of you and your unsightly partner in Orlando, here's an idea: Shoot him a look like this one.


Her favorite sport may be softball, but that look indicates a willingness to play hardball if necessary.

Florida is Getting an Early Start on Election Stupidity

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Why wouldn't you stand in the middle of a freeway?


And check out which city this was from. I REALLY hope these aren't the people making my butter.

Florida, Florida, Florida.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


I saw the headline and thought "Tell me this took place in Florida." and it did. A dude in Vero Beach tried to pay for his McDonalds with reefer instead of cash. Seriously. Here is a link to the goods.

Do Your Thing, Florida

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Smile if you're from Florida AND you poured boling water on your husband's junk.

Keep on Keepin' on, Florida.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


A "Bra Bandit" has been accused of stealing over 160 bras from a Victoria's Secret in Bonita Springs. What state is Bonita Springs in? Florida. Duh.

More Florida Awesomeness

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


So my friend and occasional WhereAwesomeHappens contributor, Polekat $lim lives in Florida. His frequent email forwards were the inspiration for this recurring column about Florida's awesomeness. Then tonight he sent me this picture taken with his camera phone.



"Now you lookie he-uh, I aint leavin' this he-uh office until you fill up ma empteh whiskey jug with peroxide, ya he-uh?"

Can you beat that caption? Let me know in the "Comments" section. I'll take on all comers! be eager to see what you write.

He's like the dude Crystal Gale of NASCAR.

More Florida Awesomeness

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Carnival ride. Mother dropping kid. Florida. Busch Light. (I am guessing about the last one)

Four Cases of Florida Being WhereCrazyHappens

By: Polekat $lim


Exhibit A: Firstly, this is VERY UN-SAFE for work. Check out the license plate in the picture. Yup, it's Forida.

Exhibit B: This little number. Note to all the guys out there: Don't do what this guy did. It's just gonna increase her ego and she'll use it to her advantage next opportunity she gets.

Exhibit C: I bet there was some major jigglage going on when that happened.

Exhibit D: This is just white trash.



-Polekat $lim