You Might Cry and Wap.....Like Peyton Manning's Team

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Since no one needs me to break down the X's and O's and re-re-re-re-re-explain why the Saints won, I'll put in some bullet points of stuff I thought during the game.

- Phil Simms, great to hear you again pronounce Manning as "Maneen" and him as "eem" as in, "Maneen had eem wide open and completed a big pass!"

- The commercials really sucked, just like last year. And how un-Budweiser-like was it for them to not have one good commercial that was superior, but instead they carpet-bombed the commercial market with tons and tons of average-at-best commercials until we just relented and were like, "ok fine, it wasn't that bad I guess I'll accept it". Oh wait, that's been their ethos for a century plus.

- Are Charles Barkley's buns so big that it affects his posture?

- What are the odds that Colts coach Jim Caldwell is actually highly expressive, but he just does so much botox that we can't see his epxressions? I texted 4 friends that question during the game and I got one friend's answer as "100000000:1" and immediately before that I got "3:2" from another friend. So it's somewhere betwixt there. Probably.

- Who thought it was a good idea to bring in the Who? I've never heard of anyone my age listening to them. And why the hell does every super bowl band have to be foreign? U2, Coldplay, The Who, The Rolling Stones, etc. And it goes for award show hosts- Ricky Gervais, Russell Brand, etc. Does anything watch American football and think, "Man, this makes me want to listen to the Who. Just the vibe of this game really reminds me of Pinball Wizard. Dude, put on your The Who album. What do you mean who don't own one????!!!"?

-It seems like there have been a lot of feel-good champions recently. The Patriots broke the Boston curse, then the Red Sox were the biggest deal possible, the White Sox broke their drought, the Phillies eased Philadelphia's pain, Peyton Manning finally got his Super Bowl, The Saints won it for New Orleans. Even Zenyatta's win in the Breeder's Cup Classic was historic because she was the first chick horse to ever win that race.

- Why does no one ever yell at Reggie Bush for voluntarily stepping out of bounds every time he touches the ball? Can some Photoshop Wiz doctor a pic of Walter Payton crying in heaven while watching Reggie Bush do that? Thanks.

- I don't even know what commercial will emerge as the consensus best. The only two that even made me emote were the Emerald Nuts + Pop Secret commercial where that weirdo dude trained humans, and the Hyundai commercial where the toys came to life and went to Vegas.

- That onside kick was so effing radical. Nice to know the guy who muffed it is married to Hugh Heffner's ex-girlfriend. I wonder if that made Bob Guccione and Larry Flynt smile.

- I was impressed at how clean the game was: minimal penalties, only one INT, only the one minor fumble that wasn't turned over, the only missed FG was 50+ yards, not that many drops, few punts, no back-breaking pass interference calls, pretty solid officiating, good third down conversion %ages from what I recall, high completion %age for each QB, neither special teams nor defensive units gave up anything resembling a big play, etc.

- Nice to see Shockey get a ring. I don't love the guy, but you had to feel bad for him when the Giants won without him.

- Great job by Garrett Hartley, the Saints kicker, who everyone seemed to assume was a liability at best.

- This game really seemed to illustrate the importance of field position. Through 3 quarters each team was playing relatively flawless football from each side of the ball, with the only minor difference being the Saints average drive starting at the 30 and the Colts starting at their 15.

- After Indy went up 10-0 I thought it could get ugly

-Speaking of which, Tony Dungy's prediction was, well, dung-y.

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That's how I roll.

Super Bowl Name Karma

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

When the Patriots beat the Rams to win the Super Bowl in 2001 (the game was in 2002, but it concluded the 2001 season), you will recall that in the year of 9/11, the team named the Patriots won the Super Bowl.


This year pits the Colts and the Saints. So was it a better year for Colts or for Saints?

We'll start with the Saints. There wasn't really much news about literal Saints in 2009, and we know that no news is good news. So the Saints get a point for that.

We do know that the winner AND runner up for the 2010 Eclipse Award for Horse of The Year were both female horses (a filly and mare, respectively) and not Colts (dude horses). Furthermore the two females, Rachel Alexandra and Zenyatta, split 100% of the vote for Horse of the Year. Dude horses got zero total votes. So that's a negative for the Colts.

Based on my qualitative analysis of unrelated stuff, the Saints will win the Super Bowl.








That's how I roll.