Is There a Big Ass Chain Expert in the House? Fortunately Yes.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

What midwifes are to doctors, or tornado chasers are to meteorologists, I am to chainologists. Actually I have no idea what any of that meant, but I'm trying to establish my credibility within that medium.

This Big Ass Chain of T-Pain's was brought to my attention by my sister, Sarah Slyder. This chain is funny for a few reasons.

1. It came to light a few weeks after this Wall Street Journal article which effectively plays the fiddle while Hip-Hop's Blingopolis burns. The part I found most interesting was when a source told the reporter that a lot of huge bling we see nowadays is fake. So now that the economy is in the tank, a hip hop autotune singer who just pecker-slapped by Jay-Z in his new single, whom I've heard of about 4 times is rocking a cartoonishly large chunk of bling.

2. As TR Slyder scholars know full well, one of my favorite hobbies is to brandish my phallus of logic and urinate on a parade of stupidity. I'm going to do that again here. As you'll see the chain very explicitely claims to be a "Big Ass Chain". But is it? I am not questioning that the pendant/medallion/bling/thing-hanging-on-the-chain is indeed, "Big ass" But is the chain iteself that big? Or is it the thing on the chain?

If I tie a piece of dental floos to a cruise ship, would you say, "Damn! That is one huge piece of dental floss!!", or would you more logically say, "Wow, you've got something Big Ass on the end of your dental floss!"? I really hope you'd go with the later.

Had his pendant thingy said "Big Ass Pendant" or "Big Ass Thing Hanging on a Chain" I'd have no issue what that whatsoever. If you want to see a Big Ass CHAIN, check out some rappers in the late 80's


















And Nas recently
So if T-Pain's chain is "Big Ass" what does that make those chains?

Sometimes I wonder if T-Pain really is the savior of the English language. *sigh*.