By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
This joke is courtesy of my cousin.
Q: What is brown and rhymes with "Snoop"?
A: Dr. Dre.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Thursday Cognitive Exercise
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Weng Weng Wednesday- The Impossible Kid: Installment III of V
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
This is Part Three of my Five-piece Series of the 1982 thriller, The Impossible Kid. As you no doubt recall from week one and week two, our hero is working for the Malaysian branch of INTERPOL and has been assigned to prevent terrorists from liquidating a prominent industrialist that was kidnapped during week one's episodes. Last week saw Weng Weng infiltrate their training facility and beat up two men and a woman. I don't think he was ever on Hee-Haw, but he knows how to throw a ho down. After handing out that fresh ass-kicking, he went back to headquarters where he saved the life of the aforementioned industrialist, only to find out he was unappreciative of Agent OO's efforts. Gaining the trust and cooperation of the industrialist is vital, however it will be no small task. Hi-oooo.
Episode 5 shows Our Hero grappling with a Cobra, sneaking into a person's residence (after parking his motorcycle in front of the main entrance) under the cover night (while he wears a white shirt). It also features him taking target practice while wearing a red jumpsuit that would make a thrift store owner blush. Lastly, this 10 minute segment has more fake-laughter from a villain than any other 10 minute interval in the history of cinematography.
This is another film of Weng Weng's where he plays a little person, a role in which he is very convincing indeed. There are 10 episodes in all and we tackle two episodes a week, so here are episodes 5 and 6 of 10.
Things to watch for in episode 6: A Dr. Evil-esque fake laughter sequence, and how the sound-effect for Agent 00's mini-motorbike sounds eerily similar to a weed wacker, killer special effects ( "special" as in "retarded", not special as in "uniquely great"), and the most uninspired go-go dancing ever captured on film.
Got a Hankering For a Falsetto Sing-Along? I Do.
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
If you like singing in falsetto as much as I do, you are certainly aware of this song. Much like how certain wines pair better with certain foods, the ideal time to sing this song is either in the shower, or immediately after the shower while you're getting dressed in front of the mirror. Just trust me on this one. I know from experience. Lots.
There are few maladies in life that a good falsetto can't take your mind off of. This song will show you why.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
If You Like Awesome Stuff...
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Then click here. Banksy, my favorite artist, has an exhibit in NYC of some new stuff that isn't just his traditional graffiti and paintings. Above is a pic from the exhibit. To see 5 others, just click the link in the first sentence.
Florida, Florida, Florida.
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
I saw the headline and thought "Tell me this took place in Florida." and it did. A dude in Vero Beach tried to pay for his McDonalds with reefer instead of cash. Seriously. Here is a link to the goods.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Congratulations Dr. Kevin (last name withheld)!
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
You know what I'm talking 'bout, brah.
This is Technically Plagiarism
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
I love horse racing, and I love Chicago, so I decided to plagiarize this. Hawthorne Race Course, outside of Chicago is applying for a casino license. That means that in addition to featuring (a god awful quality of) horse racing, they would also be allowed to offer a more complete gambling experience, with full-fledged, Las Vegas-esque casino. Being that casinos are cash cows, this would also provide revenue for an on-site water park and hotel, with revenue leftover still to offer substantially increased purse money for horse racing. Increased purse money means higher-caliber horses. which drums up more local enthusiasm, which drums up more revenue. In short, adding a casino to a horse racing track increases the quality of racing and begins a self-perpetuating cycle of cash.
To read more about the Hawthorne-specific details, keep reading.
Hawthorne to bid for casino license
By MARCUS HERSH
STICKNEY, Ill. – The owners of Hawthorne Race Course and other investors will submit a bid to the Illinois Gaming Board for an Illinois casino license this week, and the Chicago-area racetrack would commence a $500 million redevelopment project if awarded the license, Hawthorne president Tim Carey said Monday.
Hawthorne could be transformed from a moribund Thoroughbred track to a vibrant entertainment destination under the plan. Besides adding a casino, the redevelopment calls for razing the current grandstand to make way for a casino hotel, a water park and suites, a subterranean music theater in the infield, movie theaters, and retail space.
Hawthorne and its partners will submit a bid for the license as an entity called Hawthorne Gaming LLC. The development project is named Champions Resort and Casino. Hawthorne Gaming will bid for a 10th Illinois casino license that has been in limbo since the Gaming Board in 2001 denied a license for a casino in Rosemont. Bids for the license are due late Tuesday afternoon, and the Board will hold a public hearing Wednesday to announce the bidders. Within 10 days, three top bidders will be announced, and the Board hopes to issue a license before 2009.
The principal partners in the bid will be the Estate of Thomas Carey, which owns the land on which Hawthorne sits; Joe Canfora of Merit Management, an Illinois-based national hotel and casino developer that has worked on two racino projects; and Ed Pilarz of Altium Development, another Illinois-based gaming developer.
Carey said that the village of Stickney, where Hawthorne is located, has agreed to all required zoning changes. Frank Kirby, president of the Illinois Thoroughbred Horsemen’s Association, said Monday that the horsemen’s group strongly backed the plan. The Illinois Racing Board, which has a regularly scheduled meeting on Tuesday, also is expected to voice its support.
Carey said the redevelopment would move forward in two phases. A dormant part of the existing facility could be “retrofitted” within a half-year to house a casino, Carey said. The project calls for a 40,000 square-foot casino would that would contain 1,150 slot machines, as well as table games and a poker room.
Legislation is in place that will direct 15 percent of adjusted gross revenues from the 10th casino to the racing industry, regardless of where it operates.
Hawthorne has selling points in its bid. According to Carey, 4.2 million people live within 30 minutes driving time. Midway Airport is four miles to the south, and downtown Chicago is about seven miles away.
“The more we talked about slots, the more we thought something needed to happen here over and above racing,” Carey said. “Racing as it exists here is not going to last much longer.”
Big Brown Retires in Predictibly Poontang-ish Fashion
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Big Brown was retired today after allegedly suffering an injury during a workout. This comes as no surprise to anyone familiar with Big Brown's bizarrely handled racing career. Since Big Brown's loss in the Belmont Stakes, the much-hyped Big Brown has avoided any race featuring a race horse with any chance to beat him. Big Brown is like the Kimbo Slice of horse racing, if Kimbo Slice were to have fought only 11-year old girls then retired before ever fighting a legitimate fighter.
You might say, "Wait a minute, he won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness, for crying out loud." And you would be right, but the competition in those two races was at near all-time-low levels. Admittedly, that's not the fault of Big Brown, but it detracts from his achievement all the same. Secondly, with the advent of increased synthetic and polytrack surfaces, several horses were entering the KY Derby having hardly ever raced on dirt before. Not only was Big Brown's Derby and Preakness competition historically weak, but the weak horses were also racing on what was to them, a new surface. In none of the previous 133 Kentucky Derbys were any horses unfamilar with a dirt surface.
The timing of the "injury" and subsequent retirement are especially conspicuous. Big Brown was scheduled to appear in the Breeder's Cup Classic in two weeks, which is unquestionably the most competitive horse race in the United States, and arguably in the world. To revert back to the Slice analogy, that's like Kimbo Slice beating up on 11 year old girls, then telling the press he's sick of the rumors about fighting pushover opponents and announcing his plans to fight the best fighter available. Then two weeks before his first real fight of his career, he gets injured and retires. Real shocking shit, Big Brown.
In an attempt to preserve Big Brown's "legacy", his (greaseball) owner and (sleazeball) trainer, have done a disservice to race fans and to their horse. He will be remembered as a tremendous talent who was managed by two assholes, who never picked on anyone his own size, much less, beat them.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Chimpanzee
By: T.R. Slyder
A lot people said I didn't have the guts to post pictures of a baby tiger and chimpanzee playing. Take this Haters!!!!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Lookalikes 17.0 and Some Baseball Musings
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
First the lookalikes. Boston's Mike Timlin and underrated comedy actor, Matt Walsh.
Musings
1. Last year the Cubs got swept by a team (Arizona) that got swept (by Colorado) that got swept (by Boston). So as a Cubs fan, lets hope that LA can win at least one and this doesn't happen two years in a row. That would be a pathetic playoff legacy even for the Cubs.
2. Since Tampa Bay has a chance at winning the championship I'll go ahead and say it. If you would have told me in 1990*, "T.R., in the next 18 years, two different Florida baseball teams will have won a total of 3 World Series before the Cubs even appeared in one." I would have replied with "What? Florida doesn't even have a major league team."
* denotes= People love prefacing theoreticals with "If you would have told me X years ago..." But 1) no one ever does that in real life, and 2) if anyone did, you'd think they were the craziest person ever. Imagine if one of your friend called you right now and said "In 20 years you will be a zucchini farmer in Utah." then hung up. That would be kinda odd.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Now THIS is Random. Task.
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Big ups to TMZ.com for getting footage of Random Task from Austin Powers in a UFC fight in 1994 getting repeatedly punched in the genitalias before tapping out while getting choked. A sequence of manuevers otherwise known as "A Saturday night for Justin Guarini".
Apparently Random Task is in the news again for being implicated (by way of DNA) to a gang rape a while ago. Classy.
This Also Is Awesome
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
If I don't spend the rest of my life as a biographer of this automobile, I will have lived my life in vain.
This Is Awesome
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Sadly, the first thing I thought of when I saw this was: It's like the kid is the Cubs and tree was an October choke. You could see the kid freeze and think "Oh shit. I am GOING to hit that tree!" about 4 seconds before he actually did. He froze and just got sucked in to the tree by unbridled fear.
Great parenting here, by the way. The point of buying your kid a helmet is so that you can fasten it so loosely that upon impact it will be in the yarmulka position, as opposed to covering his forehead. Since most impacts will be head-on, with the face and head thrust forward, it's nice to know that the crown of his head is protected in case something falls on it after his unprotected face gets obliterated.
http://view.break.com/586095 - Watch more free videos
I Love This Cover
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
As the kids say, don't sleep on the very end when Amy says "Charlotte Church!" I love Amy Wineheezy.
Chicago AM News
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
To quote R. Kelly: Belie'e me mang, this is how them playas do it in the Chi...
It's a slow Chicago newsday today.
The Chicago Marathon goes down tomorrow. Let's hope it isn't the debacle that it was last year.
Bar Louie in the West Loop has more rats than is permissible.
This hurt me very badly. On the inside. Walter E. Smithe, a Chicago furniture store made this commercial for when the Cubs won the World Series this year. If you are dying to know more info about it, click here, but it's pretty self explanatory. The video is below.
That's kind of it.
Do Your Thing, Florida
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
Smile if you're from Florida AND you poured boling water on your husband's junk.
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