Breaking News!!!: Nancy Grace Still Doesn't Know Where Caylee is!!!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Or do you think that Nancy does know but is just keeping it a secret for ratings? Who would put it by Nancy, I mean really? When was she accused of being warm and/or endearing? She totally knows.

Lovechild Investigation 8.0

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Pete Wentz + Don Flamenco = Tim Lincecum. Proof:
















(I also realize that's the worst web editing of all time)

Farley on Letterman

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is rather unspectacular but it's Farley on Letterman so I thought I'd post it. It was filmed when he was fat.

I don't know if everyone was more innocent then, or if I was just young and clueless, but if this happened again in today's age I think everyone would say, "um, this guy's a coke fiend". When he died I remember thinking "This guy had a drug problem? Really? Wow, that's so sad" then when I watch him I can't help but think "Wow, this guy is loaded. Like really bad."

Bearsss.

Now testify/come up in the spot lookin' extra fly

Hello. I'm Mike Ditka.
Arrrggghhh
Ooohhh can ya feel it, baby? Ow!
Well hello there.
Ooohh, that's the way I like it, baby.
You goddamn sonofabitches!
I get this right here for ya.


Does it hurt to be THIS goddamn sexy? Yeah, kinda. But I deal with it.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Ditka. Polish Sausages. Bearss. Ditka. Ditka.

I don't know a ton about him as a person, but he is easily the best Chicagoan of all time. He is probably the best American of all time, and he could very well be the best man of all time. The more I look at his pictures, the more I realize that a man just has to have a mustache. He just has to. Michael Ditka is by far my favorite guy to look at pictures of. No homo.

Let the Obama Racism Begin!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

First I'll start it off with a video.





Secondly, we'll head over to Europe where Italy's Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi said that Obama was, "Young, handsome and even tanned". Which is maybe not racist per se, but is still stupid as hell.


Thirdly, the backup Center on University of Texas' football team was kicked off the team for posting this on his FaceBook page:

"all the hunters gather up, we have a #$%&er in the whitehouse"

Hilarious! Why wouldn't you voluntarily add that to your FaceBook. Why confine ignorance to just your private life? Why not let your ignorance get you kicked off the team of your school where you were receiving a free world-class education?

You might be asking yourself if his first name is Buck. Yes. Yes, it is.

Idea for an Indian Porn

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


I think there should be a porn that takes place in India, about a guy named Sanjay who does it with a lot of women. It would be called Sanjay Goop'd Ya and the part of Sanjay would be played by a pornstar named Fudgepak Chopra. I don't think a pornstar of that name currently exists, so it would be necessary to make one, much like when Voltaire said, "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him."

Directors of Indian 'ornography, make this happen!

Where Awesome Happens Look Back: Tyler Benchfield

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com
















For my money, Tyler Benchfield will always be the be ultimate mulleted, hunky jock, who dates the sister of the down-syndrome stricken lead character. He was so good in Life Goes On that you can't even say he was "often imitated, never duplicated". Why? Because no one had the balls to try to follow up his act, that's why!!!

He was like a cross between Ben Stiller from Something About Mary and A.C. Slater. They don't make 'em like they used to. They really don't. They really don't.

Who Says National Defense is no Laughing Matter?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Certainly not the person that came up with the name AIM-132 ASRAAM for their missile.



Big ups to Polekat $lim for bringing this to my attention. Way to keep it greezy, Polekat $leezy.

Where Awesome Happens Book Review 2.0

Butterfly in the sky? I can go twice as high!




Where Awesome Happens Book Review 2.0: And The Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks by Jack Kerouac and William S. Burroughs.


This book was an uber-doozie. It's also my favorite kind of book. Namely, the kind of book that is about a topic you had never heard of, and after the book is over makes you want to go research that topic and read 4 other books about it.

Before I get to the review itself, I'll set this up a bit. Kerouac and Burroughs are two of the "Big Three" Beat Generation writers, (Allen Ginsburg, being the other) and this book was published in 2008, despite Burroughs dying in 1997 and Kerouac dying in 1969. So for this book to be just coming out, is like what it would be like for Jazz fans if a collaboration between Louis Armstrong and Billie Holliday were just discovered. The book was written in 1945, while these two writers were still completely unknown and was rejected by publishers. As Burroughs was quoted in the Afterward, regarding no publishers being interested, "And it hindsight I don't see why they should have been. It had no commercial possibilities. It wasn't sensational enough to make it [...] from that point of view, nor was it well-written or interesting enough to make it [from] a purely literary point of view. It sort of fell in-between. [It was] very much in the Existential genre, the prevailing mode of the period, but that hadn't hit America yet. It just wasn't a commercially viable property."

Further pushing back the publishing date is that this is a VERY slightly fictionalized account of an actual murder, between two friends of theirs. In short, what happened was that the murderer (Lucien Carr), who remained friendly with both authors all his life (and theirs), outlived both of them. The estates of Burroughs and Kerouac both promised Carr that the manuscript would not be published in his lifetime. After doing 10 years for the murder, Lucien Carr went on to be a regular family man and hold down a successful job as a news publisher, where virtually no one who knew him was aware of his murdery past.


To me, all of that was just as interesting as the book itself. It was kinda like watching the new Star Wars movie where you're thinking "Wow, a NEW Star Wars movie that not everyone has seen yet!". The book is written in short chapters that alternate being written by Burroughs (from his character Will Dennison's point of view) and Kerouac's (from his Mike Ryko point of view). Much like on Dragnet, the names have been fictionalized to protect the innocent. Well, and the guilty, too I guess. It takes place in WWII New York in 1945 and is basically a biography of a group of beatnik writer friends who never have any money but somehow keep finding enough money to get drunk and party-hop, nonetheless.

Reading the book with no a-priori knowledge of the ending, you'd never know it was a book about murder. Which I suppose, is probably very realistic in a lot of deaths in life- you don't always see the writing on the wall for months leading up to it. Sometimes they surprise you. This wasn't much different; you get some young drunk kids, one of which seemed to be an annoyance to the other, and strange things can happen under those circumstances. The murder occurs in about the third-to-last chapter, then the final chapters deal with how the murderer should turn himself in and that's it.

Like a lot Beat Generation writing, this isn't so much about plot intricacies or surprise endings, but about how it was written, the imagery and the pace of the book. It's fast, hip, crisp, lots of dialogue and makes you feel like you are actually there with them, and not having a boring author report to you in a flowery way about the events. It serves very well as a period-piece for 1945 New York City.

In regards to the actual events of the murder. The afterward does a better job of expanding upon it than I will here, but it happened when they were all very young. Kerouac was like 22, Ginsburg 19, Carr was 17, and Burroughs was 30. Ish. Then the guy that got murdered was like 33-ish. So they were all very young, and the murder had a significant impact on the future writings for Burroughs, Kerouac and Ginsburg, and it more or less represented an enormous loss of innocence for all parties involved.

I'd label this book as highly recommendable. If this were purely fiction by two authors I'd never heard of, it would still be a good read. But given it's authors, it's half-century delay in writing, and the interesting story it tells, it all makes for a great story outside of the book as well.

Where Awesome Happens Book Review

Butterfly in the sky? I can go twice as high!



By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com




Where Awesome Happens Book Review: Bram Stoker's Dracula



Bram Stoker's Dracula kicks effing rear. The reason I felt obligated to call it "Bram Stoker's Dracula" and not just "Dracula" is to indicate that Bram Stoker's is the original Dracula. Stoker made up Count Dracula and vampires. Since then, as you know, there have been countless other stories about Dracula, and I wouldn't want you to be confused as to which book I was talking about.

The book was a lot different than I thought it would be. I thought it would be more of the horror/action genre where a group of guys were always getting attacked by Dracula, or there were a lot of physical encounters. It turned out to be much different than that. Since this was the first Vampire book, it assumes the reader had no idea what a vampire was or who Count Dracula was, or what they did. So the bulk of the book is about a group of 5 people trying to compile all the their facts about this shady Count Dracula character, and see how they can put an end to his misdeeds before it's too late.

Stoker's writing style for the book was as original as his subject. The entire book was written as a compiled series of diary entries and letters of correspondence, among his 4 most main characters. That convention heightened the urgency for the reader since the reader was able to know exactly what the characters knew or didn't know. I found that convention to be much more original and dramatically exciting than the often used omniscient narrator. Being that the book was mostly written as diary entries, it provided great characterization in a short amount of time, and let you in on the characters secret fears regarding Count Dracula that they dare not let on in front of their friends.

Dracula, was also a much faster read than I had anticipated and wasn't at all burdened with the usage of any kind of Dickensian-era English whatsoever.


As far as recommendations go, I can recommend this highly. I'm not a big horror/sci-fi fan, so it certainly helped for me that I read it right before Halloween. But after having read it and being surprised at how un-horror-y it was, I think anyone could enjoy it at anytime of year. I was very impressed by this book.

An Important Contribution to our Visual Arts

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


While viewing this artwork, I ask that you keep not only an open-mind, but an open spirit and idealism. In the midst of being a nation at war, miring with our feet at the top-step of a downward economic escalator, this artwork is a breath of freash-air. While viewing this, let it not be a time for high-mindedness, but rather a welcoming gaze out the window into an alley of celebration of the human spirit. That being said, go on with backin' that thang up and droppin' it, big gurl! Do yo thang!

Where Awesome Happens Election Night Oddsmaking

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



The odds that Obama wins AND in his speech says, "Yes We Did!": 80%

The odds McCain says the word "fight" in his speech tonight: 95%

The odds McCain says the words "my friends" in his speech tonight: 135%

The odds that McCain admits that Joe the Plumber was a campaign consultant: 15%

The odds that Sarah Palin wears red tonight: 85%

The odds that Sarah Palin says "...good people" at some point tonight on camera: 55%

The odds that McCain/Palin win, and in their victory seech say "About the campaign that promised 'Yes We Can'....well hear this friends- Oh no they di'n't!": 3%

(The odds that I want that happen: 100%)

The odds that Biden gets carried away to a Kid-on-Christmas-Day level annoyance: 60%

The odds that the election is NOT decided before Midnight ET: 5%

The odds that Chris Matthews says something so loudly tonight that you think "Was it really necessary to scream just then?": 98%

The odds that he spits, or has saliva visible in the corners of his mouth and looks as though he is rabid: 88%

The odds that someone on NBC, or MSNBC makes reference to how Tim Russert would have loved this and/or, how they wish they could hear Russert's opinion of tonight: 99%

The odds that CNN's Candy Crowley's hair is parted, and straight as can-be: 100%

The odds that Obama wins and while they interview an ordinary citizen that is a black, senior citizen to put this in perspective they say "Ohh ma gaaad": 15%

The odds that Florida has the most talk of voter fraud, or general voter dissatisfaction: 50%

The odds that voter intimdation is most rampant in ONE of the following cities: Philadelphia, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Miami, Tampa, St. Louis (including East St. Louis) or Gary, IN.: 50%

The odds that Obama wins then in his victory speech admits that he is, in fact, a radical muslim: 85% (I borrowed that one from a Texan oddsmaker).

The odds he wins and declares he is a muslim, but not a radical one: 15%

The odds of CNN's Paul Begala looking hetero the entire night, and not beaming like a Broadway actor during the first curtain-call after opening night: .11%

The odds FoxNews's coverage is Pro-Obama: No one should watch Fox News to find out. That was a trick question.

Over/Under on # of mentions of The Bradley Effect on CNN: 20

" " on MSNBC: 18

" " on Fox News: 125 (But you still shouldn't watch)


Odds that McCain/Palin wins and Rachel Maddow gets misty and says she is so proud of Sarah Palin: -77,000%


Odds of Obama winning and you hearing reference to calling the White House "The Black House" at some point in the next 48 hours: 65%

Odds Obama suggests changing his middle name. To "Osama": 6%






Leave your odds in the comments section.

This is Election-Related and Kinda Awesome

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Check out this cool site. The Freakonomics blog linked to it a few days ago, and it's pretty sweet. It's a map and a timeline basically, and the timeline scrolls from 1840 to 2004 and shows how every state voted in the elections. I'd recommend scrolling down all the way, so you can see the years and then hit the Pause button if you want to check it out. It's a doozie.

Don't Billy-Club Me, Bro

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Apparently, if you stand in front of a polling station dressed in all black with a billy club, you will displease not only ivy league student journalists, but also police. Who knew?

Put On Your Voting Caps, America!

Hell yeah.

Free Starbucks if you Vote Today!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


http://www.bizjournals.com/washington/stories/2008/11/03/daily25.html

Don't forget to hit them up. They can afford it.

Song Lyrics I Can't Listen to Without Singing Aloud

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


I think there are a million lines I love to sing, but these are my favorites that I could think of off the top of my head. Or "I spit these straight from the dome" as us freestylers say rap.

Song title (Musician): Lyrics



Last Christmas (Wham): "I wrapped it up and sent it, with a note saying "I love you" I meant it"

The Girl is Mine (Michael Jackson feat. Paul McCartney): tie "Paul, I think I told you. I'm a lover, not a fighter." and Michael saying "I don't belieeeeeeve it"

Here Comes Santa Claus (Elvis): The opening line- "Here comes Santa Claus, uh-here comes Santa Claus."

Contagious (R. Kelly featuring Ron Isley): "Drive me crazy....drive me wiiiiiiiild" AND "I'm about to catch a caaa-aassse." Ok, really this is the best song ever to sing along with. All the lines are great.

Mack the Knife (Louis Armstrong): "Tsuki Tawdry, Jenny Diver, Lottie Lanyard, Sweet Lucy Brown, Ohhhh the line forms on the right, dear."

The New Style (Beastie Boys): "I roll up the woolie and I watched Columbo"

Pour Some Sugar on me (Def Leppard): "Do you take your sugar one lump or two?"

Rebel Yell (Billy Idol): "In the Midnight hour, she screamed 'More, more, more'"

Don't Mean a Thing (Louis Armstrong): "It don't mean a thing-a if it aint-a got-a that-a swing-a."

100 Miles and Runnin' (NWA)- "A 100 Miles from home and yo, it's a long stretch. A little sprintin' mutherfucker that they won't catch."

Gangsta Gangsta (NWA)- "My homey Dre will fuck you up in a minute with right, left, right, left you're toothless then you say 'Goddamn they ruthless' "

Strangers in the Night (Frank Sinatra)- "Love was just a glance away, warm embracing dance and play."

Frank Sinatra (Miss Kitten and The Hacker)- "....we talk about Frank Sinatra. Do you know Frank Sinatra? He's dead....ha ha...dead."

You Rock My World (Michael Jackson)- (in the beginning part with Chris Tucker and Michael are talking) "...she is bangin'....she looks good, you're right" Real believable, Michael

Notorious Thugs (Just Bone n' Biggie)- The entire song, but especially when Puff Daddy does the voiceover where he misquotes scripture and says "Please forgive me, for you know not what you do." to that end, I also love his voiceover in Big Poppa "Tell your friends, to get with my friends, we can be friends. We can do dis every weekend? Dat aight? Dat aight wichu?"

Hey Ma (Cam'ron)- the telephonic conversation between Killer Cam and his friend "L"

"Yo L., I hit it."
"What else?"
"Plus dome."
"Say Word?"

Starry Eyed Surprise (Paul Oakenfold feat. Shifty): "Ladies of the evenin' drinking booze and minglin' "

Welcome to Atlanta Remix (Jermaine Dupri feat. Puff Daddy, Nelly, and Snoop): "St. Louis is the Truth like Sojourner/ Don't need to burn 'er, we learned from Ike Turner/I tried to told you/Don't cross that bridge without permission from the St. Lunatics"

My Two Favorite Politically-Themed Videos

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Thomas Jefferson once said, "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." I don't think any American has ever embodied that fighting spirit, can-do American spirit quite like this guy. No, he wasn't a WWII Veteran from Guadalcanal or an American Revolution war hero. He's something which much more cunning, dignity, fortitude and above all, success.




And lets not let time fade the memory of the this gem. Man, I love this video still.

A Welcome Break From All The Election Coverage

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is actually worksafe.




The guys that did the voiceover for this are my role models.

Florida is Getting an Early Start on Election Stupidity

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Why wouldn't you stand in the middle of a freeway?


And check out which city this was from. I REALLY hope these aren't the people making my butter.

This is Kinda Awesome

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

It Is What The Chinese Call "Erection Day"

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


On Election Day the two websites I most recommend keeping refreshed are FiveThirtyEight.com, CNN.com's Election Center, and TheDrudgeReport. I'll post more today (for a change). But I wanted to get this out.

Breeders' Cup Sprint

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Sorry, I'm picking the favorites here again. I know, I know. But with the Turf, a Euro IS going to win it, and all the Euros were favored. It was unavoidable. The problem with picking longshots in the Sprint is that, with the exception of Cajun Beat in 2003, they never win. The Sprint is unique in that it's such a short, frenetic, well, sprint that it never falls apart and there's no margin for error. You can't be off your game and win. So in order to win you need to be both very talented AND finely tuned. Being that is relatively simple to pinpoint before the race who is talented and who is in great shape, it's easy to install them as favorites, where they often thrive in this race.

The only horse in this field that I would consider to be a good value play is Black Seventeen. His last race was a doozie in the slop where he won the Grade 1 Vosburgh at 24-1 in his fourth race off a layoff. The last time he raced in his 4th off the layoff he ran an equally impressive race, which he then followed with an even more impressive race. If his best races are his fifth race off the layoff, he will be sitting on a huge race on Saturday. Furthering his cause is his post position. With all of the real speed to his inside (except for the hit-or-miss Fatal Bullet) he is at an advantage of his more-favored fellow entrants. If he's at 15-1 or better, he's worth a play. The Daily Racing Form's Jim Kachulis said he's his best bet of the Breeders' Cup.

The big X-Factor of this race is Midnight Lute. Much like Red Rocks in the Turf, this is a previous winner in this race with unquestionably talent who has been lightly raced this year. And by "lightly" I mean "ran once and got humiliated for some unknown reason". If he runs his best race he can certainly win, but the question is whether or not he's capable of running his best. It's kinda like when in Fletch when Fletch says something like "There's a 50/50 chance it will. But there's only a 10% chance of that happening". Being that he is relatively uncertain AND he's the favorite, I'm going to look elsewhere for my winner.

The two I'm looking at are Street Boss and Cost of Freedom. Cost of Freedom drew the rail and is at the biggest post disadvantage of them all. It's something you don't like to see, but it's not a deal-breaker, either. His last race was over this track and distance where he won a Grade 1 race over Street Boss and In Summation, and earning a 110 Beyer while doing so. The race before that also saw him earn a 110 Beyer. While playing with DRF's Formulator I discovered that he and Street Boss appear to have the two best closing kicks in this race, a factor which I think could come into play in such a contested race.

Street Boss while likely go off as the favorite. Before losing his last race by a half-length to Cost of Freedom, where he came 5-wide off the turn, he had won his previous 5 races. He is certainly the most consistent sprinter in this field, possess a dangerous closing kick, and appears to be in tip-top shape. Similarly to Cost of Freedom, the biggest strike against him will be his post position, where he is in the second position.

The last horse I will mention is Fabulous Strike. He's in the third position right outside of these two and appears to be every bit as talented as his foes, but hasn't really freaked since last June. You can be assured that whoever wins this race will run a freakishly good race, and I feel that his days of freaking are behind him. He still warrants consideration, but I think when this race finishes, he may be looking at another horses buttocks. Just to break my personal record of saying "freak" the most times in a sentence, I will say it one more time to establish a new record. Freak.

With Midnight Lute's condition being questionable, this race shapes up as a nice race to execute a few intra-race exotics, like the Trifecta. Boxing these three horses for that is something I will be considering on Saturday.

1. Cost of Freedom- Not crazy about his post, but it should get him the shortest route to the wire and may not affect him all that much since he isn't much of a closer, and you don't want to rely on coming from behind in a crowded sprint, anyway.

2. Street Boss- I can't put much distance between him and Cost of Freedom here, and would not be surprised whatsoever to see him win this race.

3. Black Seventeen-Despite some word that he hasn't been training particularly well as of late, his October 12th work over this track leads me to believe he can't hate it, and I have a feeling he's sitting on a big race in this spot at a juicy price.

Breeders' Cup Turf

(Pictured is Red Rocks in 2006 after winning this race)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


If anyone tries to tell you that the winner of this race will be any horse other than Red Rocks or Soldier of Fortune, you should kick them in them face. Had I any degree of fame, I'd be willing to do something publicly embarrassing should neither of these two horses win. It's a very solid field with plenty of quality horses, but these two tower over the field. Well, they're slightly better than Conduit, then tower over everyone else.



1. Soldier of Fortune- In his last race he beat Duke of Marmalade and Henry the Navigator, who figure to be about the 3rd and 4th favorites in the Classic. He's always in the money in Europe's most prestigious grace races and hasn't had a race with a timeform rating under 124 in his last 6 races. If Red Rocks doesn't run his absolute best race, I don't think this race will be contested for a single step down the stretch.

2. Red Rocks- The only horse to beat Curlin since June of '07. He came in third in this race last year and he won it the year before that. All kinds of talent. His talent isn't the issue, but his health is. Since suffering a staph infection earlier this year, it's not clear if Red Rocks is at 100%, or closer to 90% or so. If Soldier of Fortune doesn't fire, it will be his race to lose.

3. Conduit- You Conduit! Conduit has been garnering a lot of attention after his impressive performance last race. What was so impressive about it was that his timeform rating # came close to numbers that Soldier of Fortune has been running for nearly a year and half now. If this is a new trend for Conduit, it certainly means he will be a major factor in this race. What makes me think that is unlikely is that the aforementioned race was at a 1 1/16 miles, and not Saturday's 1.5 mile distance. His previous two races were at a mile and half, so I don't know why his connections would shorten him up as a prep for a mile and a half race.

Weng Weng Wednesday, on um, Thursday

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Since I was disappointed with the lack of fervor for Installment 4 of Weng Weng's The Impossible Kid I decided to delay it by a day so you'd appreciate it more.

New Guns N' Roses Single

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



I don't think it's all that awesome, especially considering it took them like 47 years to release, but nonetheless, IT'S THE NEW GUNS N' ROSES SINGLE! I will never entertain an argument that they were not the best rock band ever.






It kind reminds me of 14 Years from the blue Use Your Illusion album. I think it was 2 but I'm not positive. Below is a video of them performing it from the Dirty 'Toga (i.e. Saratoga Springs, NY).

Breeders' Cup Dirt Mile

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


I like my BC Miles like I like my women. Dirty. With further ado lets get down to it. AJAJEOKAOMOEKOAKEOKE. That was the ado, now we're good to go.

I'm getting a little tired of doing this, quite honestly, so I'll be brief with this one as I was the last. All of the BC races that have only a $1 million purse are races for glorified also-rans. No one starts the year intent on winning the BC Marathon, or Dirt Mile. What happens is you try for the other, cooler divisions, shit the bed, and wind up here, figuring you at least got a horse to the Breeder's Cup. It's like being in a dorky fraternity. No one set out to be in the them, they all aspire to accept a bid from a cool one, then settle for crap-ass fraternity and feign excitement regarding that fraternity for the rest of their lives. Think of these races as dorko frats.

If First Defense is in this race, he'll win. Think of him as one of the "cool kids" who turned up his nose at the bid from the cool fraternity, because he didn't want all the pretense, and instead sided with a loser frat. If he races in this race, that's just what he will have done. He's an extremely accomplished sprinter, who may pass up the sprint for this busted-ass race. His specialty is 6 or 7F, and a mile is a bit of a stretch, but given the class discrepancy between him and the rest of the field, I think he'd be fine.

Another analogy would be if you were an awesome sprinter, you could either sprint against Usain Bolt and probably lose, or you could run the 400 in the Special Olympics and probably win. The sprint is loaded with talent, and the mile is the dorky fraternity.

Assuming he joins the cool kids at the BC Sprint, I see it like this.

1. Lewis Michael- No need to adjust your computer screen or assume a typo, I actually picked a non-favorite (assuming FD defects). This race had no clear cut dirt mile beast, so that opened things up. It's clear that no one was pointing toward this race, so nearly all of the horses are trying a new distance and/or surface. That's not the case for Lewis Michael. He's a synthetic specialist, and the mile is his best distance. He may not be as talented as others in this race, but he knows how to run this exact race. He's guaranteed to handle the surface well and the distance, and do so with very good talent. I'm taking that over exceptional talents maybe liking the distance and surface.

2. Well Armed- If the BC offered a race at 1 1/4 Well Armed would probably do very well in that. They do in fact over a race at that distance- the Classic, and that's for only for the elite of the elite. Well Armed, being merely elite, wussed out of that race. Probably a good idea. Instead he entered the Special Olympics at a new distance, hoping for the best. He'll take his formidable talent and shorten it up for this motley assortment. If First Defence is out, he'll tower over the field in terms of talent, but I'd just prefer a horse that had been waiting for this race all along instead of a horse I presume was training for the 1 1/4. To make one more analogy, picking Lewis Michael is like picking an average looking, loyal, caring woman to be your wife, instead of the hot bitch who might totally screw you over.

3. Either My Pal Charlie or Two Step Salsa- Why didn't I pick a clear third choice? I'll have Peter from Office Space provide my answer for me: "It's not that I'm lazy, Bob. It's just that, well, I don't care".

Breeders' Cup Marathon

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



I'm not all that excited by this race, hence no picture of a horse accompanying this article, so I'll keep it brief. I can't even wholeheartedly endorse betting on this race, but since I checked it out, I'll pass along what I observed. If Casino Drive is in this race, I'd bet him to win, but my guess is that he's heading for the Classic, so I've excluded him in my picks.

1. Sixties Icon- Ought to go off as the favorite (Sorry, I'm picking another one) but he's a true distance horse. His is a question of class/speed/talent, not an affinity for the distance. With no pace in this race, I'm betting that he can overcome class issues and run his race.

2. Spring House (if he enters this race)- He's no world beater but he is consistent and he's won at this distance at Santa Anita in the Grade 1 Burke Handicap last October.

3. Cedar Mountain- He likes the distance and doesn't suck, basically. But you shouldn't bet this race, anyway.

Breeders' Cup Juvenile Fillies

(pictured is the 2004 winner of this race, Sweet Catomine. She was a lotta horse, baby.)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



We'll get right down to business. The race is over the main track and is 1 1/16ths of a mile. The last 6 winning Beyers for the Juvenile Fillies were 95, 90, 87, 102, 99, and 102. Pretty well varied, as you can see. This year's winning Beyer figures to be somewhere in the mid-90s.

Stardom Bound is certain to go off as the favorite, and I think she'll win. Her last race out was a Grade 1, at this distance, over this surface and she won as the favorite, by 3 1/4 lengths. After finishing second in her first two races by a combined length and a nose, she has won two Grade 1s over synthetic surfaces by a combined 7 3/4 lengths. I should also point out that she's a California horse, and California horses have a knack for winning this race.

The likely second betting-favorite will be Sky Diva. She's 2-for-2 and her last out was the Grade 1 Frizette at Belmont Park. To her advantage will be her stalking style, and to her detriment is her trainer's 0-for-16 record this over synthetic surfaces. Does this mean you shouldn't bet her? No, but you better get about 7 or 8-1 on her if you do. Being the only undefeated horse in the race, I have a feeling she'll be overbet.

The rest of the horses have been inconsistent. At times, winning nice races, at other times, losing to horses they'll be facing on Friday. With so few races under their belt (or girth, I guess) it's tough to say what it all means. The best example of that is Emmy Darling. In her second race (of 4 lifetime) she won a 100k race at Hollywood Park while recording a 94 Beyer, by far the highest career Beyer in the field. She went on to lose her next two races by 10 and 3/4 lenths combined- being beaten twice by Stardom Bound, Palacio de Armor, and Evita Argentina, who are in this race. She could have the most upside in the race, but without consistency it's difficult to know what to make of it. Palacio de Armor has finished second twice to Stardom Bound by a combined 4.5 lengths, with her front running style I'm not sure she'll like the added distance she'll be getting. Nice horse, but not her spot.

The lone European in this race is Ireland's Pursuit of Glory. She's a sprinter who is stretching out for the first time, but being a daughter of Fusaichi Pegasus with a closing style, I think she may fare better with the new distance then several other of her rivals. She went off at 5-1 in a Grade 1 race in her last, was beaten by 1 1/4 lengths and received a Timeform rating that translates to around a 90 Beyer Speed Figure. If she can run that race on Friday, she could very well win this race. She figures to be a fair price as well. The last horse I'll mention is Persistently. She also figures to be a fair price. In her last race she was beaten easily by the impressive Sky Diva who everything go her way in terms of traffic, whereas Persistently had to swing way out wide at the end to pass tiring horses to finish second in impressive fashion. That's not to say that Persistently should have won that race, but she showed a lot more than what it says in your racing form. With a little better racing luck, and the added distance, factored in with a much, much nicer price than Sky Diva figures to be, she would be a very sensible bet.


1. Stardom Bound- In such an unproven field, it's comforting that she won her last race out over this surface, against these foes at this distance. She won't be great value, but I think she'll win, and that is the point of betting afterall.

2. Pursuit of Glory- I'll take a chance on her and hope she can run back to how she did her last out. Michael Tabor wouldn't send a horse from Ireland to California and waste anyone's time. She ought to be running late and a lot of fun to watch.

3. Persistently- She has yet to have a trip go entirely her way, and I'm willing to bet that she can finish very strongly here if she gets a nicer trip. From a speed figures standpoint, she's every bit as quick as Star Diva, but has actually handled adversity before and has handled it well, so I like her here.


Below is the Oakleaf where Stardom Bound passed a tiring but game Palacio de Amor.


This is the Frizette at Belmont Park, which is won by Sky Diva where Persistently works her tail off (figuratively) to place.

I Saw This Last Weekend

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


I apologize for my camera's poor quality. But I certainly make no apologies for my eye for cutting edge art. Also, you may not want to sniff the top of the fire hydrant on the NE corner of Clark and Wrightwood anytime soon. That is a homeless man perched atop it.



Kinda reminds you of "That's nice!" from Billy Madison.

Breeders' Cup Stuff

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


This link will take you to the Breeders' Cup homepage and show you a recap of the workouts on Friday.

This link is a pretty good synopsis of the Eurotrash horses at the Breeders' Cup. In fact, I should probably refrain from calling them "Eurotrash" as their quality is anything but trashy, even if their trainers probably do smoke while strapping their sandals over their socks and beginning their sentences with "How you say.....". Nothing trashy about their horse racing. So do yourself and your wallet a favor and read up on them, because at least 4 will win on Friday and Saturday. Oh, plus their owner's teeth are most likely stained from red wine too. I forgot to get that one in earlier.

What My Readers Want, My Readers Get

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



A Chimpanzee on a Segway.




In there interest of taking some of the fun out of the video: Don't forget apes and monkeys are threatened in their natural habitats. When people think of Pandas, or Polar Bears or Bald Eagles the first thing they think of is "endangered", but when they think of chimps or orangutans they think "Hilarious in that one movie!", but they are in fact equally endangered. A lot of ape and monkey scientists are p.o.'d about these animals being portrayed as comedic (which I do), and not as animals in a threatened habitat. So consider this my equal time for conveying the seriousness of their survival in the wild. So Do NOT order Monkey Burgers if you're in a market in Africa. Please. Thank you.

How Not To Get Hit in the Gonards so Hard That Your Right Shoe Comes Off

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Do the opposite of this.





In the bigger picture it isn't quite as bad as this one, and lacks the southern, pubescent charm of this one, but it's still a doozie.

Breeders' Cup Filly and Mare Sprint

(Pictured: The winner of last year's inaugural BC Filly and Mare Sprint, Maryfield)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


2008 Breeders' Cup Filly and Mare Sprint

As I see it, this race has 3 serious contenders and a few wild cards. We'll start with the contenders. Indian Blessing will definitely go off as the favorite. And for good reason. Since her connections committed her to sprinting, she has been 3-for-3 in two Grade 1s and a Grade 2, has won by a combined 18.5 lengths and has recorded Beyer Speed Figures of 109, 110 and 110. Oh, early this year she set the Santa Anita track record at 6.5 Furlongs- regardless of gender. As impressive a resume as that is, other horses figure to contest her.

Namely, Ventura and Zaftig. Ventura is owned by Juddmonte Farms, trained by Bobby Frankel and is a Grade 1-winning turf miler. So Friday's race will be scaling back her favorite distance by a furlong, and switching from turf to synthetic. If her talent is able to translate equally from grass miles to 7 furlongs on the dirt she ought to be in this race to the wire. That "if" however, is a rather formidable one. Zaftig is a middle distance ace, coming off impressive Grade 3 and Grade 1 wins over 7F and a mile, respectively. In her last out race at a mile, she defeated the aforementioned/highly praised Indian Blessing by 4.5 lengths in the Grade 1 Acorn. She's the last horse to have beaten Indian Blessing, and earned a Beyer of 113 while doing so, which is 3 points higher than Indian Blessing's career high. Since that race, Indian Blessing has shortened her distance to sprints, and is 3-for-3 as mentioned above. Whereas in that same timespan, Zaftig has not raced. So the question then, is whether the change in distance, and sprint-experience of Indian Blessing will be enough to reverse the results of their last encounter. However that isn't the only question, there are still a few x-factors left to uncover.

Dearest Tickski has all the trappings (what is a trapping, by the way?) of a very solid Grade 1, synthetic surface 7 Furlong sprinter. She has even won a Grade 1 over the Santa Anita surface at this distance, but I'm not sure what to do with her. From a Beyer standpoint, she's a notch or two below the top 3 in this race, and her running style is a concern. I may be taking to heart too much what I read earlier about Santa Anita's Pro-Ride surface not rewarding front-runners, but that is a major concern here for this one-run style filly. She's talented, she's accomplished, etc. But I can't be sold on a one-run style of sprinter in this field. Of course, if she does win I'll immediately say "I knew she had a chance...". The X-iest (I'm just assuming that's a word) Factor is a Chilean invader named, not coincidentally, Lady Sprinter. She's 8-for-8 in Chilean dirt sprints and is a Grade 1 winner. Her recent workouts at Santa Anita have been solid, but not eye-popping, but if she gets a few breaks and runs her race she could certainly hit the board here. Lastly, is the Irish horse Psalm who won her last race in a Grade 3 race in Ireland by 8 lengths against the boys in a 7F grass sprint. That is clearly the standout race of her career, but much like Ventura, if her grass talent can translate directly into synthetic talent, she has every right to be among the leaders heading for home.

There are still other horses in this race that are receiving a fair amount of attention, that I feel are over matched. The speedester Indyanne will undoubtedly get some respect at the window, but she's ever gone past 6F, never raced in a Grade 2 or Grade 3, and has yet to prove that she'll enjoy the added distance of Friday's race. Intagaroo is also a talented filly, who has won at 7F, and has even won three Grade 1s at this distance. What I don't like about her is that she has raced 11 of her 13 races on synthetic and her two highest Beyer Speed Figures have occurred on the two races she raced on dirt. Talented horse, but tough to like given Santa Anita's surface in this company.

So what will happen here? I don't really know, but I would suggest that this race would be a great opportunity to "go shopping" and try a bunch of different combinations, because this race has a lot of uncertainty, and crazy things can happen in a BC Sprint. It's tough to be certain about a sprint race before knowing the post positions, and everyone's last works, But I'll make do with the info I have.

1. Zaftig- I think if everyone runs to their ability, she'll win. I like her late-running style, not only because of the surface, but because I think this race will have a lot of front-end traffic, and I wouldn't be surprised if Indian Blessing is part of that and is possibly weakened as a result.

2. Intagaroo- I want to have an original pick at some point and not just regurgitate the three favorites everytime. What I like about her is that she still finishes well in races were not everything goes her way, and won't be daunted by this large field. She has ran past tired horses in traffic before and ought to be running late. She's worth a shot at the price she'll be at.

3. Indian Blessing- She's too talented for me to exclude from the top 3.


For the latest on this race check this out.

Third Installment of Breeders' Cup Analysis: The Breeder's Cup Ladies Classic (formerly The Distaff)

(pictured is 2004 Distaff Champion, Ashado. Did I win the exacta when she won? Well, yes, but who's counting? Oh yeah. Me.)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


The Ladies Classic

The last 6 winning Beyer Speed Figures for this bad boy (or girl, I guess) are: 104, 100,107,102,101, and 111. This race begins and ends with the undefeated Zenyatta. As you may recall, while I wrote for another website, I said on August 4th that Zenyatta Aint Nothing to Eff With. That is still the case. Exhibit A: This is the AppleBlossom from April 5th of this year at Oaklawn Park, the only race were Zenyatta was not the favorite. Why wasn't she the favorite? Because she was going up against the winner of last year's BC Ladies Classic/Distaff, and all-around badass Ginger Punch. So this was the ballyhooed matchup between the old guard and the up-and-comer. Zenyatta humiliated her. Watch the race and her happy feet at the end.



Told ya. As I mentioned yesterday, the come-from-behind style she displayed in the above clip is the ideal running style for Santa Anita's surface. So dominant is Zenyatta, that only 7 horses elected to compete against her on Friday. That's the ultimate sign of respect.

So that's Zenyatta. I like Ginger Punch to finish second. She's an outstanding Mare with over $3 million in lifetime earnings and is one of the most talented female horses in the world, and has absolutely everything going for her, except for opposing Zenyatta. She was however, beaten last time out by another talented horse in Friday's field, Cocoa Beach (Chi).

While Ginger Punch didn't get an ideal trip and didn't much care for Belmont's sloppy track that day, Cocoa Beach has impressively won both of her American races, and boasts an impressive 8 wins in 10 lifetime starts (with a second and a third). She always seems to fire and should expected to do so again on Friday.

Another major player in this race is Hystericalady. Perhaps no other horse in the Breeder's Cup will be more adversely affected by the synthetic surface than her. If this race were being held on any other track, she would be a major factor, but this surface gives her fits. She is 11-for-18 away from Santa Anita and 0-for-4 at Santa Anita. She figures to go off as the third favorite, and take plenty of money from the bettor's, but will be a sucker-bet to me. She may be able to clunk up for third if she catches a break or two, but I can't endorse her to win.

The picks:

1. Zenyatta- I'm no modern-day male version of Catherine the Great, but I really love this horse. She's the best bet of the Breeder's Cup, and may be remembered as the best chick horse since Ruffian.

2. Ginger Punch- I'm willing to forgive her last race, and expect her to finish second here. If Zenyatta is at only 85 or 90%, Ginger Punch is the horse with the best chance to beat her. I am very excited to see these two going head to head again.

3. Cocoa Beach (Chi)- Another talented Godolphin horse with a deep well of talent. I gave her the nod over Hystericalady due to the great work she had on Saturday at Santa Anita.


For the latest information on this race click here.

Second Round of BC Analysis : Breeders' Cup Filly and Mare Turf

(pictured is 2004 and 2006 BC F&M Turf Champion, Ouija Board)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I checked out a few of the races and have some insights to provide.

Firstly, I'm not sure that I'll provide analysis for every race, especially on Friday's card. With all the new races being added to the Breeder's Cup (especially on Friday's card), I feel that the talent pool is watered down and fewer certainties emerge as a result. That's not to say that there isn't still a lot of money to be made on those races, but I just can't get as excited for those races, so I'll handicap them if I have time leftover after handicapping the races I actually care about. That being said, let's get it on.


The Breeder's Cup Fillies and Mares Turf

This race is a 1.25 miles on the Turf (as the name implies). The last 6 winning Beyer Speed Figures for this race, starting with last year are: 105, 108, 108, 108, 109 and 109. So you can see what caliber of Filly or Mare it takes to win this race- a very, very special one. In fact, in the 10 runnings of this race, the lowest winning Beyer was 105, so keep that in mind while you handicap the race.

This race really hinges upon weather European superhorse Goldikova will enter this race or opt for the Breeders' Cup Mile against the boys. If she does enter this race, she will tower of this field and be extremely difficult to beat. I handicapped this race assuming that she would not enter this race, but if she is in the race, I would pick her to win.

What I noticed initially about this race is how few horses had won a race at this distance. The Eurotrash horses are all very talented, but have had the bulk of their success at one mile. I would certainly entertain the argument that Halfway to Heaven could be the most talented horse in this race, the distance remains a question. That's like saying. Whereas her Eurotrash rival, Folk Opera, appears to be less talented, she is 3-for-3 at this distance. Those three races were of lesser quality than Halfway to Heaven's 1-mile long races, so it's a matter of how you value them. Would you rather bet on Usain Bolt in the 400 meters, or the US Champion 400 meter runner? Bolt is more talented, but not tested at that distance.

For the Americans, Wait a While is my clear favorite. She is 3-for-3 on Santa Anita's turf course, and is 3-for-4 at this distance. Most importantly- she has won at this distance at Santa Anita twice in two attempts- both Grade 1 races, including her last race out where she held off a very game Vacare, by 3/4 of a length. Furthering my case for Wait a While, her highest Beyer figure came at Santa Anita at this distance. So you get the feeling she'll be at her favorite track and distance on Friday.

Mauralakana is also a very likable horse. She has won a Grade 1 and Grade 2 at this distance, and is as consistent as any horse in this field- of her 7 starts this year she has 5 wins and 2 seconds. Other notable horses are and Forever Together and Dynaforce. Dynaforce who beat Mauralakana last time out, appears to have the talent to win this race if she fires her best effort, but with only 1 win in 4 attempts this year, I don't find myself salivating over her chances to win. I feel similarly about Forever Together, she's unquestionably talented, but I think this distance is a bit too long for her, and this will be a tough spot to try and win a race that isn't your best fit. Every horse I mentioned, are worthy of inclusion in your exotics, but my top three are the following (again, this is assuming Goldikova is NOT in this race).

1. Wait a While- She's the only horse who will be at her favorite track AND distance today, and she is certainly has enough talent to win here.

2. Halfway to Heaven (Ire)- This horse is dripping with talent and class and has shown an abundance of grit in all of her wins. While this is her first race in North America, and only her second race at this distance, I think she has the experience and talent to make up for any discomfort she may have.

3. Folk Opera (Ire)- I had a difficult time choosing between her or Mauralakana for this spot, but ended up on her due to her being 3-for-3 at this distance, and having a very sharp race last time out in her North American debut. She'll have to be sharp to hit the board on Friday, but the Godolphin Stable doesn't waste their time shipping horses that are not sharp.

4. Mauralakana- She has the talent to win, but I'm not crazy about her last race where she got a poor trip in a field of only 5 as the heavy favorite, and was beaten by 4 lengths to Dynaforce, and barely held on for third against fellow entrant in this race (who recently scratched from this race), the considerably less-talented Communique. She has the look of a top-tier Grade 2 horse, and a second tier Grade 1 horse.



For the latest information on this race click here.

Saw This Sign Today

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


On Lawrence Ave., a few blocks East of Elston Ave.

Lookalikes 17.0 Buck Martinez and Carl from Billy Madison

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Buck Martinez and Larry Hankin. Former Toronto Blue Jays Manager and now TBS Baseball's very own looks like the man, best known to me as "Carl" from Billy Madison.



















Plus, how does no one ever mention this (NOT safe for work) song by 2LiveCrew when talking about Buck Martinez??