All Things Considered, I'd say This is True

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Isn't using the phrase "all things considered" rather pompous? Put differently, doesn't that necessarily mean that you've considered everything that is considerable?

If you Like Fomer Prime Minister of the Czech Republic Named Boner Pictures as Much as I do, You're in Luck.....

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

It looks like Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi knows how to throw a party.

Recently a Spanish website (NSFW) posted some scandalous paparazzi pictures taken from a lavish party thrown by Berlusconi's at one of his villas. The piece d' resistance? A picture taken of a nude and aroused (i.e. his "Bruce Banner" had turned into the Hulk) former Prime Minister of the Czech Rerpublic, Mirek Topolanek. He just likes to rock out with his cock out every now and again. No big deal.

While I'm obviously tempted to say that that pic really puts the Burlesque in Berlusconi, I have a feeling that the definition of "burlesque" doesn't involve old, dirty Eastern European politican dangleatalia.

At any rate, the first story I linked to makes for pretty amusing reading.

2009 Belmont Stakes: Like Father, Like Son

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Moderate longshot (12-1), Summer Bird won the 2009 Belmont Stakes in a very similar fashion to how his father, Birdstone, won it in 2004- coming from out of nowhere on the outside and with happy feet. I'll show both races below and what you'll think for each of them is the same. As they come down the stretch you'll think, "Ok, I don't see him yet. It really looks like the horse on the lead is gonna win. Ok, still looks like the leader is gonna win this r....oh wait, who the hell is that on the outside? Well the leader still has a pretty big. Oh wow. He's still coming from the outside? Who the hell is that horse? Oh wow, the leader looks tired and this closer on the outside has some serious happy feet. Oh jeez, he's gonna win by a few lengths. There he goes..."

The 2004 Belmont won by Birdstone


The 2009 Belmont won by Summer Bird

I Just Realized That...

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

"Google" in Pig Latin is "Oogle gay"

Shout to Cool Art Show

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Last night a friend and I checked out the SMart Show in the Flat Iron Building in Wicker Park/Bucktown. It kicked all kinds of hiney. Here is the page of (almost) all the artists that showed.

Some of my favorites were not on that page which is too bad because I'd like to give them a shoutlink as well. But two I'd recommend are JayBoeldt's acrylic abstracts and Michel Balasis's works which I think would be fair to say are similar to what Lichtenstein would be depicting if he were around today.

Boeldt's pieces, to me, were like a mix of impressionism and abstraction, and even looked digital at some points. They're not so abstract that you have no idea what the subject is, however. Being that the medium is a mixture of acrylic and enamel on wood, the pieces are really shiny looking, which I like. Really eye-catching stuff.

Michel's work is, like I said, could fit under the name of Neo-Lichtensteinian. Many of his works are the Lichtenstein-esque comic book characters complete with dialogue bubble. His works just have a more modern twist in tune with the modern technological age.

I spent a few minutes talking to each of these guys and they're both as cool and pleasant as you'd hope an artist to be while admiring their work.

Sometimes I Impress Myself

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I was trying to think of a succinct explanation for why I really don't like movies. Sure, I like good movies- but everyone does. That's why they're good. But I'm not a "movie person". I don't go out and see a movie just because it's a Friday night, or because Will Smith was in it and Billy Bush interviewed him twice this week. When a friend is over on Sunday afternoon and we're hungover I don't say, "Hey man, lets put in a DVD". I don't see movies because their marketing budget was $45 million, or because its got great special effects or was called a "Blockbuster" by someone I've never heard of, or just because I've never seen it but everyone else has.

In short, I don't watch movies because the media tells me that I should want to.

But I digreezy. So I was trying to think of a few concrete examples. I was thinking I could point the absurdity of the concept of guys like Nicolas Cage, Brenden Fraser, Kevin Bacon, Tom Cruise or Keanu Reeves being leading men. Then I thought I'd probably need a specific, bullet-pointlike example that no sane person would dispute. Then I thought, "Well for one, or two, Tom Cruise played twice played a man in the United States Armed Forces", (A Few Good Men and Top Gun, there could be more for all I know) and he also played a badass in like 19 Mission Impossible movies, AND he played a goddamn Samurai in another movie!

Then came my Eureka moment. There should be a website that has actor's stats- a cross betwixt imdb.com and the back of a baseball card. They'd keep track of a myriad of statistics like- # of guys they've beaten up, chicks they've humped, guys they've mu-rdered (I'd love to see Schwarzenegger's and Stallone's), times they've been killed, times they've been drunk or high, total swear words used, maybe # of kids they've had, # of times they've screamed (who got in this one- Pacino or Catherine Zeta-Jones's husband? I forget his name). You could also break it down by their different kids of jobs they've had- President (Morgan Freeman must lead this category), professional athlete, mobster, priest, Santa Claus, doctor, lawyer, etc. And that's just the "good" category for the guys.

You could have the negative categories like # of times getting punched/their ass kicked, # of times getting cheated on, times they've cried, etc. But that's just for the guys.

For women you could have # of dudes they've humped, times they've been the jilted lover (Gwyneth Paltrow would HAVE to be in the lead- cuz that leads to her signature blushy/pout- I'm smiling on the outside, but crying on the inside look), times they've been cheated on, times they've cried, total # of minutes they've cried, #/total duration of nude scenes, # of times she's been widowed, then all of their jobs as well- e.g. maybe you'd be surprised to know that Nicole Kidman has played a stay-at-home mom more times than Meg Ryan) etc.

That would just be awesome. You could keep track of all your favorite categories AND actors. Directors could also be tabulated as well. It would also help people seek out their favorite genre. If your just getting into Westerns, maybe you'd be surprised to know that there is an actor whom you've never heard of that is a mere 17 murders behind John Wayne in that genre (not counting his war movies). Maybe you're a 17 year old who started smoking pot and you're interested in that genre so you look up directors to see who has the most pot references and you learn about Kevin Smith and Judd Apatow.

Then you could also cheer for your favorite actor in his new movie to surpass a milestone. Like if Seth Rogan can just be high for 11 on-screen minutes, he could into 3rd place all time behind Cheech and Chong. Or if Antonio Banderas can somehow find a way to bed 3 broads, he'll crack the top 10. Maybe a nutsack like Frankie Muniz would explore certain obscure genres in an effort to crack multiple Top 5 lists in categories thereby giving his career some semblance of a legacy- most time doing a voice over for a gerbil, most times by a guy playing an adolescent female, oldest male to play a pubescent teen in the awkward stage, or # of times getting knocked out by one righthand by a guy that his girlfriend is cheating on him with.

Wouldn't a website like that be rad? Go start one!

More Stupidity in a Commercial

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Shockingly its from a commercial that's marketing toward the "Dude demographic".

Those dumbass Axe Body Spray commercials where they say crap like "94% of women think nasty hair is a turnoff. Use Axe Shampoo, so that doesn't happen to you."

Firstly, what kind of brain-damaged monkey is surprised by this? They use the word "nasty" (or whatever the word they actually use is) for a reason. That qualifier IMPLIES that people don't like. That's like asking someone if they like food that is disgusting- by definition, you don't. Otherwise it wouldn't be disgusting.

Secondly, and more scientifically, Axe isn't really promising you a whole lot. They're offering to help you ascend to the "upper" 94% of sexy males. By undergoing the metamorphosis they promise I will become non-nasty.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to go set up my tent outside of Wal-Greens so I can be there when they open tomorrow to buy their product.

You Know How I Knew You Were Gay?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You're a Jonas Brother, you wore a spandex onesie thingy and you did the Single Ladies Dance in it.





To that end, what's the Over/Under on amount of times it takes Sports Centers to, when segueing to clips of Womens Singles events in tennis to say "All my ladies singles, all my ladies singles"? I'm saying it'll be done before the Wimbledon Finals. Although, they could actually have done it already and I wouldn't know. I can't stand to watch that show anymore.

Where Does Jesus Draw the Line?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I realize that taking the Lord's name in vain is a sin. But where is the line drawn with that?

Countless turns of phrase have been concocted to narrowly ellude that: Jeez, Jeepers, Jeepers Creepers, Cheese 'n' Rice, Gee Wiz, Sheesh, etc. So do those count? If not can you creep even closer, without sinning? What if you put the emphasis on the second syllable of "Jesus" instead of pronouncing it "g-Zis" you pronounce it "GEE-zis"or pronounce his last name as "crisst" instead of "CRY-st". Can you say "g-Zis Crisst" and be ok?

And how is taking his name in vain really bad? I don't get that. If he's already omnipresent and omniscient, is it really that much a distraction of you spill milk and blurt out, "Jesus!"? Is that like pranking 911? Does he come running over because he thinks he's called into an emergency only to find you and spilled milk and think, "Oh man a false alarm. I wish he'd stop using my name in vain like that! I could've just missed a real emergency." He's already omnipresent and omniscient, so he must've already known about that.

Sadly, I was turned on to the absurdity of this concept by a 1st grader. When I was younger and was babysitting my neighbors I accidentally blurted out, "Jesus Christ!" and the kids looked shocked and scolded me. The yougnest of the three then asked me, "How would you like it if you were in heaven and people down here made a mistake and kept saying, 'T.R.!', or 'Oh, T.R. Slyder!' ". I told him that he had made a good point.

Only he made a good point regarding the absurdity of the concept of taking the name in vain.

My Hesitant 4th and 5th Cent About Susan Boyle

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Remember in April how I wrote that real buzz around Susan Boyle was that people, (subconsciously, or consciously) thought, "No way! Someone can have such vocal talent but be that ugly!"?

I'm standing behind that still and I think that the latest buzz about her being in the loony bin helps with that. As I'm sure everyone has heard, she lost on her British Idol show and then apparently cracked up and was calling out for her cat while being rushed to the nuthouse. While I understand it's newsworthy because she was such an instant media-sensation, I think part of what gives legs to that story is still our subconscious surprise about her. I think people were still thinking, "this is so weird she's talented and so weird and ugly. Maybe after a makeover she'll be really pretty and this will all make sense."

Then she lost and was rushed to the nuthouse and now people are thinking, "Ohhhhh. I knew she wasn't a true celebrity, or even a normal one of us! Silly of me to think an ugly person could ever leave her caste system. Turns out she's just one of those wacky idiot savants who drools on their sweatpants all day but is freakishly talented at one thing. She probably has like 87 cats too. She totally tricked me!"


And while I'm on the topic of Pop Culture drivel that I just don't understand people's interest in: Is the following analogy correct?

Octomom:Angelina Jolie :: Kate from John and Kate + 8::Posh Spice

I never watch the show or read about it, but I can't help avoid the coverage. I do know that she has a very Nebraska-tastic version of Posh's hair and she seems to think she's one sexy bitch. I could be totally off base.

Lastly, the coverage of this scandal really pisses me off for the same reason that the coverage of the Duke Lacrosse team rape allegation pissed me off: If no one cares about those people (John and Kate, Lacross players) when they're free of scandal, don't expect us to be enraptured in stories about their scandals.

For instance, ESPN devotes about 11 minutes of coverage a year to lacrosse. People just don't care about it. Yet they spent at least 20 hours a week discussing it during the peak of the scandal. That doesn't make sense to me. The buzz with Kobe's rape allegation I get because there is a ton of buzz from a scandal-free Kobe as is, so throw in a scandal and it's huge.

I get the story value of, "Media darling in scandal. Will they be taken down a peg or two? Stay Tuned!" but not when its, "Did those people you don't care about do something immoral??!!! You'll never believe what happened!" There has to be some proportion between the non-scandal coverage and scandal coverage.

Is adultery among people I've never heard of really something I'm expected to care about? If you're gonna talk about scandals that strangers have done at least make them awesome.

Today's Headline That Could Be Taken Out of Context

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

A Story of Depression, Loneliness, and an old man's Love for his dog.

Gentleman, It Has Arrived

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


A handheld console that can play your original Nintendo games. Just take your old games out of the box in your parents' attic, slide it into the console just like you did with the Gameboy, and you're playing. It runs on 4 AA batteries and can be hooked up to your television.

Check it out here, and something similar here.

That invention ranks right up there with the toothbrush, toilet, eye glasses, socks, movable type and this. I can't tell you what a godsend that has been for me.

You can find more awesome inventions like that one here.

Conan O'Brien's First Night on the Tonight Show: LiveBlog

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Some people love Conan O'Brien, and others find him pompous and sophomoric, but I think most people agree that no one could have been selected for hosting the Tonight Show that reveres the job moreso than Conan. He has always professed to hold that job in the highest esteem possible and I don't think anyone could be possibly be more honored and humbled to take the job.

I'm eager to see how O'Brien who made his living catering to the younger, late-night quasi-Adult Swim crowd, will handle catering to his new audience that is more staid than the late night crowd.

I'll go ahead and get a few things over with: I'm a big Conan fan and have seen a LOT of his show. So I'll probably come off as rooting for him and pointing out things that lead you to believe that I've watched way too much of Late Night with Conan O'Brien.

10:35: So far so good. The opening bit involves Conan running from NYC to LA and shows him crossing Chicago's Michigan Avenue bridge in front of the Tribune Tower and also shows him running through Wrigley Field. So far he's won me over.

(Update: The Trib brought up a good point. Conan was running South on Michigan Avenue, which would mean he's running away from Wrigley. Oh well, here's the video of it.
)

He ran through Vegas and his now in Hollywood. It's all setting up for him to run into the studio to start his show. Not a bad idea for an entrance, implying he just ran all the way from NYC.

10:38: Sounds like they're going with the same theme from Late Night, but just a little bit different. Conan's coming out. He didn't do his usual "jogging into his mark" from Late Night. I guess that was one way he decided to act more grown up. Oh, there goes a brief "string dance". I'm going to see if he still does tha,t "Let's hear it for The Max Weinberg 7, everybody! Max-" before he sends it to the band before heading to his desk.

He just introduced Andy Richter. Nice to see him back. He's standing at a podium. Huh.

10:42: First "Clippers suck" joke. The monologue is very "L.A.-centric" which is to be expected, I guess.

10:46: Conan shouts out the "Choco Taco". Friends of mine are snickering.

10:49: Conan's first sketch- he's gonna help out guiding the tour of Universal Studios (where his show is taped). This has potential. He does however, also have a tendency for overdoing it on these sketches. That's always a concern with these filmed-on-location bits. We'll see how it goes. For what it's worth- his hair is especially wonky during this bit.

So far there's some overdoing it. The tour is conducted on like 4 trolley cars that are all linked together. Conan decides to take them out on the street, which isn't a bad idea. Then he stopped in front of a $.99 store and bought everyone something. He emerged from the store with two shopping carts full of $.99 items. Not a bad ending.

10:55: He didn't do it. It was "we've got Max Weinberg and the Tonight Show Band. When we come back we've got a lot more show for you." then it was sent to commercial. Flipping to CBS just in time just to catch #5 on Letterman's Top 10 List.

11:00: Back from commercial and Conan is thanking Jay and the new staff members at Universal Studios. Now a bit is starting up about Conan and his green Ford Taurus prowling the streets of LA. Fabio makes a cameo. Oh sweet, there are some Esse's (sp?) hittin switches on their ghetto sled, and we see Conan's car appears to be equally hydraulically outfitted until the camera pans out to reveal all of the car. Then we notice that Conan's car was bouncing, not from hydraulics, but from fat guys at the rear of the car pushing down on the trunk. I'll take it.

11:08: Commercial for a new Eddie Murphy movie. It's too bad when people hear "Eddie Murphy" they think, "God awful movies" and not, "Maybe the best stand up comic of all-time". To this day he's the only comedian that's ever made me think, "Man that dude's a badass". Chappelle, Chris Rock, George Carlin and Bill Hicks are honorable mentions, but no where near the level of badass, they're just "Man he's funny. He seems pretty cool too." Murphy was just a rockstar. Now he makes movies that would make Matin Lawrence blush.

11:10: Will Ferrell had a good entrance. He was carried in on a float (I forget what those things are called) by Egyptian-like servants.

11:15. Ferrell was funny and will be back after the commericals. He casually mentioned to Conan how it's fun to "Dress up like a ninja, drink a bottle of Midori and do some Peeping Tom action." I found that pretty amusing/insightful.

I flipped back to Letterman again. I did so at the last break but didn't blog about it. Bill Cosby was on Letterman doing his "sit down comedy" and was funny. He wasn't wearing his sunglasses which I thought was surprisingly normal of him. Then I just flipped back again and he's Letterman's guest and wearing sunglasses. Though, now that I think about it, I bet the lights are bright as hell in a tv studio.

11:20: I also noticed that Will Ferrell still has his blazer jacket buttoned while seated. Guys on tv never seem to unbutton their blazers while seated. Although I guess Conan's is unbuttoned. I probably sound like I'm high right now. I'm not actually high though. Actually, that probably sounded like when on TV shows they zoom in on a character's forehead and you hear that character's thoughts. One character's is always predictable, yet funny, and there's always the one character whose thoughts shock you with how inane and stupid they are. The thoughts I just had would probably be the latter.

11:22: I'll be damned. Will Ferrell is singing on Conan's show again. He was singing "Never Can Say Goodbye", not sure if the Jackson 5 were the first to do that song, but theirs is the only version I know. He was singing that song since he felt that Conan's chances of success with this show aren't very good.

Going to commercial, when we come back: Pearl Jam. I hope they play that song Eddie Vedder wrote about the Cubs.

This little ditty


11:28: Oh good. America's Got Talent returns to NBC June 23rd. Well, Pearl Jam isn't playing Someday We'll Go All The Way. Their playing a new song that sounds a LOT like State of Love and Trust. I guess the decade and a half I spent away from Pearl Jam (with the exception of the aforementioned Cubs anthem) didn't result in me missing a whole lot. I'm the best.

More Non-Partisan Coverage on Loudball: With Chris Matthews

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

It isn't that Republicans are bad, but when they they disagree with Obama they are pissants.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

However, if you ARE Barack Obama, well you just might send a furrow up his leg.



Much like how friends listen to Endless Love in the dark, impartial talking heads can get unbiased furrows up their legs.

I'm a Celebrity Get Me out of Here! Premieres tonight!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I copied and pasted this from Perez Hilton.

After just two days of filming I'm A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here in Costa Rica, Heidi and Spencer Pratt have quit the show TWICE!

According to a production source, Speidi took their mics off and exited the jungle, yet relectantly returned for night. On the second day of shooting, they walked out again but have since yet again been persuaded to competing for their respective charities.

This is way too much drama for the jungle!

In the premiere episode, Heidi breaks down crying, Spencer walks off the set and Patti Blageovich almost drowns!

Fuck Yeah!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Great idea for a collection blog/website- Early 90's (old school, literally) photos with laser backgrounds such as this gem. Click here for LaserPortraits.net

I also would like to see a collection blog of really awful botoxed faces. I'm sick of botox and I think that little kids growing up now and watch too much television are going to think that when you get old your faces freezes and you become emotionless. Or that it happens to middle-aged Hollywood starlets (Meg Ryan, Nicole Kidman) and Politicians (Nancy Pelosi).

What Kind of Drinker Are You?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

According to Consultant Psychologist Dr. Glenn Wilson, how you hold your glass while imbibing says a lot about who you are. After observing 500 drinkers, he broke them down into the 8 types listed above.

After you've found your type, click the link and see what it says about you. You must be so excited to meet yourself finally!

As a someone with a degree in Psychology, I'm a sucker for these kinds of things and tend to believe in them more strongly than others. I do have a bit of an issue with Dr. Wilson's hypotheses and that is that he didn't address one's ability to change. For instance, if I'm out with good friends at a bar I don't frequent then I'm definitely the Jack the Lad type. But if I'm in relatively mixed company, or have to play more of a role of a host, I'm definitely The Fun Lover. But I still thought the research was interesting.

This Summer's Club Banger

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

It's a rap by two white bastards in suits about their conservative views and Jesusophilia. It has "Club banger" written ALL over it.

Big ups to my man upstairs on the 1s and 2s, Mr. JC.!




If there's one thing I love more than crap rap from Juvenile and Wax-a-million, it's whitefolk
rapping about their love of Jesus. It's awesome 100% of the time.


Speaking of summer hits...

You know you can't help but keep a running list of your favorite summertime songs?

Mine has:

"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
"Summertime" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
"April 26, 1992" by Sublime
"Homecoming" by Kanye
"Turn Me On" by Kevin Lyttle
"Here Comes Your Man" by the Pixies
"Scar Tissue" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers
"The Party Song" by Blink182
"Warehouse" by Dave Matthews Band
"Dip it Low" by Christina Milian
"Addicted" by Amy Winehouse
"Regulate" by Warren G
"Fantastic Voyage" by Coolio
"GZ and Hustlas" by Snoop Doggy Dogg, the bonus track from Snoop's Doggystle
"Don't Cry" and "You Could Be Mine" by Guns and Roses
"Miami Shit" by Pitbull
"Feel Good, Inc." by Gorillaz
"Shake Down" by Akon
"Drug Ballad" by Eminem
"Home Alone" by R. Kelly feat. Keith Murray
"Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani
"Mr. Brightside" by the Killers
"Rock DJ" by Robbie Williams
"The Irony of It All" and "Weak Become Heroes" by the Streets
"No Scrubs" by TLC
"Anywhere" by 112
"Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol
"She's Crafty" by the Beastie Boys
"Right Thurr" by Chingey
"100 Miles and Runnin'" by NWA
"My Neck, My Back" by Khia
"Love at First Sight" by Kylie Minogue
"Bad Babysitter" by Princess Supastar and the High & Mighty
"What's it Gonna Be" by Busta Rhymes and Janet Jackson
"Don't Talk Just Kiss" by Right Said Fred
"Romeo's Tune" by Steve Forbert
"Ecstasty" by Rusted Root
"Roll up and Shine" by Stereohonics
"Simple Kind of Man" by Lynyrd Skynrd
"Ayo Technology" by 50 Cent and Justin Timberlake
"That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain
"Frank Sinatra" by Miss Kitten and the Hacker
"Sexual" by Amber
"Imigrrante" by Tanghetto
"Last Night" and "Hard to Explain" by the Strokes
"Take California" by the Propellerheads
"Got Glint" by the Chemical Brothers,
"She's Electric", "Cigarettes and Alcohol" and "Morning Glory" by Oasis
"Disco Science" by Mirwais
"99 Problems" by Jay-Z
"Knee Deep [Midnight Mix]" George Clinton and Digital Underground
"Don't Stop What You're Doing" by Puff Daddy and the Family
"Bop Gun" by George Clinton featuring Ice Cube
"Take me Out" by Franz Ferdinand
"Girl From Ipanema" and "Nancy" by Frank Sinatra, to name a few)

Most songs correspond with one specific summer, and if you think hard enough every summer has at least one song that you'll always associate with that specific summer.

Well, I have 2009's. You heard it hear first.

The Cubs May Not Be Getting Sold Afterall. Sonofa....

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I hope the Cubs get sold to the Ricketts family. This news is pretty non-bodacious.

Update: It looks like the sticking point is the contracts of broadcasting rights. Since Wrigley is too old/historic to renovate/overhaul, the revenue garnered from game attendance is relatively fixed. So the owners would have to squeeze all the money out of broadcasting rights that it possibly could. That then puts a premium for the Ricketts family on getting an acceptable valuation of the Cubs media outlets- therein lies the problem. The Cubs' partial ownership of CSN and ownership of WGN tv and radio have created a very costly gray area in that process.

Dumb Stuff I Hate

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Not all dumb stuff is inherently bad. But this stuff is.

1) When people, though it seems like sports debaters do this most often, ask whether or not something "can" happen. Examples are, "Can Cleveland force a game 7 against the Magic?", or "Can the Cubs reach the NLCS this season?". The question is not "will" they, but "can" they. That's the problem.

There is no way to incorrectly answer that question. If you say that the Cubs "can" and later they do that, you are of course correct. Conversely, if you say they can and they do not, you aren't absolutely wrong: they still could have, they just didn't; just like how I could have went jogging at 5:30 am this morning. Could I have? Definitely. Did I? No. If last night I asked you, "could I go jogging tomorrow at 5:30 am tomorrow?" and you answered yes, you still wouldn't be wrong. All you confirmed was a possibility.

So the only way to answer a "can" question wrong is to say "no" then have that action occur. So what is the incentive for answering in the negative? None.

The "can" question obviously makes for lousy television or radio, or any form of entertainment. So why do they keep asking it?



2) Another common stupid comment I have yet to hear anyone rebut in the media. Namely, when defending an athlete against a steroid allegation the defender's rationale is, "No way he's on steroids- that guy works out ALL THE TIME. No way he took steroids."

Right. Let's go over how you get extremely muscular from steroids use again.

1) You ingest steroids.
2) You work out all the time.

So when accuser Y says "I think that athlete did action 1 (as shown above)", defendant X feels t a cogent defense would be, "No way he did 1 because he performs action #2!".

With that putrid logic, two things must necessarily be true: 1) working out without steroids can get you as big as fast as working out with them, and 2) It's possible to take steroids, not workout, and still get huge.

Phrased another way, that's like saying, "There's no way Michael Jackson molested that kid, he loves kids!"