Lookalikes 15.0- Seth MacFarlane and Mauro Ranallo

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



The MMA announcer and Family Guy creator.

Lookalikes 14.0: Calvin's Dad and Steve from Married with Children

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


The Dad from Calvin and Hobbes looks a lot like David Garrison, or Steve from Married with Children.

Glory Hole Park

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



While I was writing the entry about the Cubs, my friend texted me this from Aspen.

Worst NFL Pregame Moment Ever

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


I usually avoid NFL Pregame shows but I decided to give them a shot today. I've been so wrapped up in the baseball playoffs that I had no idea what was going on in the NFL, and thought I could benefit from watching. So I flipped to Fox just as it was beginning and James Brown began the show by saying, "Have we got a great show for you today!" then as the camera panned out to show all of the panelists, Brown reached under the desk and announced "But first, with the Iron Man DVD coming out this week, I had to pick up some copies for my guys." And proceeded to distribute DVDs to his fellow panelists as they feigned excitement and poured over the DVD.

I changed the channel and watched Face the Nation. I still have no idea what's going on in the NFL. That was the worst of the worst.

On the Cubs Defecating the Mattress

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Even though I'm a huge fan, I'm not going to let the choking of a bunch of multi-millionaires I've never met ruin my day. After all, I didn't suck, they did. I'm all for watching sports to escape dwelling on work, or less-fun parts of your life, or watching sports so you and a few friends have a better excuse to get together at a bar and drink for an afternoon- those things can legitimately improve your quality of life. But I'm not about to let sports do the opposite and put me in a foul mood for three days.

My dissociation from the Cubs at their time of suck reminded me of my Capstone class in school as a Psychology Major. The class was the Psychology of Sports Fans, and it met once a week for 3 hours. It was one of those classes/fields of study where you think, "I didn't realize someone made this an academic discipline, I'd just always thought this kinda stuff on my own while watching games with friends." Most of it was really intuitive and other stuff was surprisingly insightful. What I took away from the class most was BIRGing and CORFing.

BIRG is an acronym for "Basking In Reflected Glory", for your team. When your team wins and you're feeling great about the win, razz your friends who cheer for the vanquished opponent or wear your team's jersey to work the day after a big win, you are BIRGing.

The opposing of BIRGing is CORFing, or Cutting Off Reflected Failure. My opening sentence about multi-millionaires is an example of CORFing. Sometimes these constructs are referred to as the- "We won, but they lost phenomenon".



Now that my Superego got that off its chest, time for the Id to rant a little.


As I stated in an earlier post: I never want to see Soriano lead off again. Ever. He's a mistake pitch hitter with huge holes in his swing. He'll never be anything different. Of every major leaguer I've seen this year, Soriano strikes me as the player that thinks the least on the playing field. On top of that, he insists on leading off- yet he sucks. That's like if I were having dinner at your house and all the sudden felt nauseated and announced that I might be getting sick, then you said "Ok well, lets get you to the restroom...." and me responding with, "No, I'm fine right here. I'd feel the most comfortable throwing up on the dinner table." Who cares where you're comfortable? Try to quarantine your crap so it upsets as few people as possible. What a joke that guy is.

It was such a team-wide collapse that I hardly think it's worth trying to distribute blame to a select few. Soriano was putrid, but it wasn't just his fault. If he hit .500 they still would have lost. If Zambrano had pitched game one, the Cubs still wouldn't have gotten any hits off Lowe. With the exception of Zambrano, the Cubs didn't pitch, hit or field well collectively.

While the Cubs get to search their souls for answers, I'm gonna be watching the Bears and CORFing up a lung.

A Meta-Compilation of Falls

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

You never see any of these women falling in front of a Mercedes or at a country club or at a board meeting. It's always done in the woods, near an El Eamino or in a trailer. Funny how that works.





There are a few overlapping videos with this one, but it's just more of a good thing.




You can probably guess the subject material for this one too.




This one is more about the "wipeout" I'd say, but it's still awesome nonetheless. The first clip isn't one I find funny, but the rest are.








Great music selection here.




The first few clips I didn't find hilarious, but it gets better. I'd also recommend turning the sound off for this one. This music doesn't go with it and detracts from it. Also the last minute is a montage that's in an earlier video of this meta-compilation.




This one is kinda Polekat $lim-ified (i.e. it's "extreme" and set to metal music. Like a Mountain Dew commercial on steroids), but some of the clips are outstanding.





Please note the irony around the 2:34 mark. This awful driver is wearing a Dale Earnhardt shirt. So this guy loves NASCAR yet drives like a total anus, apparently.

Drunk Monkey Video!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

If you hate stuff that is awesome, this is not the video for you.

All the Info on Hiroki Kuroda You Could Ever Want

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This chart can be found here as well and is a bit easier to read there.

2008 Pitching Splits
Overall	ERA	W	L	SV	SVO	G	GS	CG	IP	H	R	ER	HR	BB	SO	AVG
Total	3.73	9	10	0	0	31	31	2	183.1	181	85	76	13	42	116	.253
As Starter	3.73	9	10	0	0	31	31	2	183.1	181	85	76	13	42	116	.253
Opponent Batting	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	HBP	SO	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
Total	715	85	181	35	1	13	76	42	7	116	7	2	.253	.296	.359	.656
By Breakdown	ERA	W	L	SV	SVO	G	GS	CG	IP	H	R	ER	HR	BB	SO	AVG
Home	3.68	6	2	0	0	14	14	2	88.0	81	38	36	6	14	62	.241
Away	3.78	3	8	0	0	17	17	0	95.1	100	47	40	7	28	54	.264
Day	4.42	0	4	0	0	7	7	0	38.2	38	21	19	4	14	26	.242
Night	3.55	9	6	0	0	24	24	2	144.2	143	64	57	9	28	90	.256
Dome	4.50	1	1	0	0	3	3	0	14.0	17	10	7	0	3	6	.298
Open	3.67	8	9	0	0	28	28	2	169.1	164	75	69	13	39	110	.249
Grass	3.73	9	10	0	0	31	31	2	183.1	181	85	76	13	42	116	.253
Right / Left	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	HBP	SO	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
vs. Left	361	0	94	23	0	9	45	22	3	43	4	2	.260	.304	.399	.703
vs. Right	354	85	87	12	1	4	31	20	4	73	3	0	.246	.288	.319	.608
By Day/Month	ERA	W	L	SV	SVO	G	GS	CG	IP	H	R	ER	HR	BB	SO	AVG
July	5.24	2	2	0	0	6	6	1	34.1	39	21	20	1	4	19	.281
August	2.29	2	2	0	0	6	6	0	39.1	26	12	10	2	6	29	.186
September	2.96	2	0	0	0	5	5	0	27.1	32	9	9	1	5	18	.294
Last 7 Days	0.00	0	0	0	0	1	1	0	5.0	2	0	0	0	0	3	.111
April	3.82	1	2	0	0	5	5	0	30.2	35	15	13	3	8	16	.278
May	2.87	1	2	0	0	6	6	0	37.2	33	16	12	2	13	21	.228
June	7.71	1	2	0	0	3	3	1	14.0	16	12	12	4	6	13	.286
Post-All Star	4.14	4	4	0	0	14	14	0	78.1	84	39	36	3	13	54	.271
Pre-All Star	3.43	5	6	0	0	17	17	2	105.0	97	46	40	10	29	62	.240
By Opponent	ERA	W	L	SV	SVO	G	GS	CG	IP	H	R	ER	HR	BB	SO	AVG
vs. PHI	1.39	1	0	0	0	2	2	0	13.0	4	2	2	0	2	12	.095
vs. CHC	0.59	1	1	0	0	2	2	1	15.1	11	2	1	0	3	14	.204
vs.LAA	4.26	0	1	0	0	1	1	0	6.1	7	4	3	0	2	5	.259
vs. ATL	1.20	1	1	0	0	2	2	1	15.0	8	2	2	1	4	10	.148
vs. CIN	2.25	1	0	0	0	1	1	0	8.0	5	2	2	0	2	3	.192
vs. HOU	0.66	1	0	0	0	2	2	0	13.2	6	1	1	0	4	6	.133
vs. NYM	12.00	0	1	0	0	2	2	0	6.0	15	10	8	3	5	1	.441
vs. PIT	2.08	1	0	0	0	2	2	0	13.0	10	3	3	1	1	4	.213
vs. SDG	5.66	2	1	0	0	4	4	0	20.2	27	13	13	4	7	14	.318
vs. SFO	4.79	0	1	0	0	4	4	0	20.2	27	11	11	0	3	14	.310
vs. COL	7.00	0	2	0	0	3	3	0	18.0	24	14	14	1	4	9	.320
vs. FLA	3.95	0	0	0	0	2	2	0	13.2	12	6	6	2	1	9	.226
vs. ARI	4.50	1	2	0	0	4	4	0	20.0	25	15	10	1	4	15	.291
By Stadium	ERA	W	L	SV	SVO	G	GS	CG	IP	H	R	ER	HR	BB	SO	AVG
Dodger Stadium	3.68	6	2	0	0	14	14	2	88.0	81	38	36	6	14	62	.241
Dolphin Stadium	3.86	0	0	0	0	1	1	0	7.0	5	3	3	1	0	4	.185
Citizens Bank Park	1.50	0	0	0	0	1	1	0	6.0	2	1	1	0	2	5	.100
Chase Field	6.40	0	2	0	0	3	3	0	12.2	21	14	9	0	4	9	.356
Minute Maid Park	0.00	1	0	0	0	1	1	0	7.0	5	0	0	0	1	1	.208
Wrigley Field	1.42	0	1	0	0	1	1	0	6.1	7	2	1	0	3	3	.280
Shea Stadium	20.25	0	1	0	0	1	1	0	2.2	7	6	6	2	2	0	.467
Turner Field	3.00	0	1	0	0	1	1	0	6.0	7	2	2	1	4	4	.269
Angel Stadium	4.26	0	1	0	0	1	1	0	6.1	7	4	3	0	2	5	.259
Coors Field	7.50	0	1	0	0	1	1	0	6.0	9	5	5	0	1	4	.333
PNC Park	0.00	1	0	0	0	1	1	0	7.0	3	0	0	0	1	2	.136
AT&T Park	0.69	0	0	0	0	2	2	0	13.0	10	1	1	0	2	7	.213
PETCO Park	5.28	1	1	0	0	3	3	0	15.1	17	9	9	3	6	10	.283
By Count	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	HBP	SO	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
Count 0-2	54	0	10	1	0	0	4	0	2	26	1	0	.185	.211	.204	.414
Count 1-0	62	0	21	6	0	3	12	0	0	0	2	1	.339	.328	.581	.909
3-1 Count	9	0	3	1	0	1	2	9	0	0	0	0	.333	.667	.778	1.444
After 0-1	345	0	78	16	0	3	26	7	5	78	4	0	.226	.249	.299	.548
After 2-2	147	0	34	9	0	1	13	12	0	40	1	0	.231	.288	.313	.600
Count 0-1	67	0	13	1	0	1	3	0	3	0	0	0	.194	.225	.254	.479
Count 1-1	77	0	22	4	0	0	8	0	0	0	0	0	.286	.282	.338	.620
Count 1-2	96	0	14	1	0	2	9	0	0	46	0	0	.146	.146	.219	.365
Count 2-0	23	0	9	0	0	1	2	0	0	0	0	0	.391	.391	.522	.913
Count 2-1	55	0	17	6	0	1	6	0	0	0	2	0	.309	.304	.473	.776
Count 2-2	115	0	27	6	0	1	7	0	0	33	2	0	.235	.233	.313	.546
3-0 Count	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	13	0	0	0	0	.000	.867	.000	.867
Count 3-2	48	0	9	4	0	0	7	20	0	11	0	1	.188	.426	.271	.697
Count 0-0	107	85	36	5	1	3	16	0	2	0	0	0	.336	.333	.486	.819
After 0-2	137	0	32	8	0	1	12	4	2	54	2	0	.234	.264	.314	.578
After 1-0	263	0	67	14	0	7	34	35	0	38	3	2	.255	.339	.388	.727
After 1-1	263	0	56	11	0	2	24	14	0	54	2	0	.213	.250	.278	.528
After 1-2	193	0	39	9	0	3	14	5	0	72	1	0	.202	.222	.295	.518
After 2-0	79	0	23	4	0	3	9	24	0	8	0	1	.291	.456	.456	.912
After 2-1	120	0	28	8	0	1	15	14	0	17	2	1	.233	.309	.325	.634
After (3-0)	11	0	3	1	0	1	2	22	0	1	0	0	.273	.758	.636	1.394
After (3-1)	24	0	5	2	0	1	3	16	0	4	0	1	.208	.525	.417	.942
After 3-2	48	0	9	4	0	0	7	19	0	11	0	1	.188	.418	.271	.689
By Batting Order	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	HBP	SO	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
Batting #1	96	0	25	6	0	2	9	3	0	11	1	0	.260	.280	.385	.665
Batting #2	90	0	24	1	1	1	6	2	1	19	0	0	.267	.284	.333	.618
Batting #3	84	0	24	4	0	3	14	5	1	9	1	1	.286	.326	.440	.767
Batting #4	80	0	23	8	0	3	14	5	2	12	2	0	.288	.341	.500	.841
Batting #5	76	0	17	4	0	0	9	9	1	13	1	1	.224	.314	.276	.590
Batting #7	74	0	17	6	0	2	6	5	1	14	0	0	.230	.288	.392	.679
Batting #8	72	0	21	2	0	1	7	6	0	10	1	0	.292	.346	.361	.707
Batting #9	65	0	11	2	0	0	3	3	0	18	0	0	.169	.192	.200	.392
Batting #6	78	0	19	2	0	1	8	4	1	10	1	0	.244	.286	.308	.593
By Situation	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	HBP	SO	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
None On, 1/2 out	242	7	54	11	0	3	3	10	3	43	0	0	.223	.263	.306	.569
None On	430	7	99	22	1	7	7	16	5	81	0	0	.230	.266	.335	.601
On Second	53	14	11	3	0	0	8	7	1	8	1	0	.208	.306	.264	.571
On Third	22	5	6	1	0	0	8	4	0	3	0	0	.273	.370	.318	.689
First and Second	46	25	9	2	0	0	7	1	0	5	0	0	.196	.208	.239	.447
First and Third	22	4	7	1	0	1	17	1	1	3	2	0	.318	.333	.500	.833
Lead Off Inning	183	0	44	11	1	3	3	6	1	36	0	0	.240	.268	.361	.629
Second and Third	6	8	2	0	0	0	5	4	0	1	0	0	.333	.545	.333	.879
Bases Loaded	15	8	4	0	0	0	10	2	0	4	0	0	.267	.353	.267	.620
Scoring Posn, 2 out	76	62	20	4	0	0	24	11	0	15	1	0	.263	.356	.316	.672
None On/Out	188	0	45	11	1	4	4	6	2	38	0	0	.239	.270	.372	.643
Close and Late	37	3	10	2	0	0	3	5	0	3	0	0	.270	.349	.324	.673
Runners On	285	78	82	13	0	6	69	26	2	35	7	2	.288	.338	.396	.735
Scoring Position	164	64	39	7	0	1	55	19	2	24	3	0	.238	.313	.299	.611
By Inning / Pitches	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	HBP	SO	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
Pitches 1-15	113	18	28	3	0	3	9	1	1	16	2	0	.248	.261	.354	.615
Pitches 16-30	117	16	26	3	1	1	14	10	1	18	0	0	.222	.287	.291	.577
Pitches 31-45	119	14	30	7	0	3	10	4	0	19	1	1	.252	.270	.387	.656
Pitches 46-60	123	17	33	8	0	3	22	9	5	17	1	1	.268	.341	.407	.747
Pitches 61-75	104	10	32	9	0	1	10	7	0	18	2	0	.308	.336	.423	.759
Inning 1	126	18	33	2	0	3	17	5	1	17	2	0	.262	.295	.349	.645
Inning 4-6	290	31	79	18	0	5	28	12	3	53	2	2	.272	.301	.386	.687
Inning 7-9	69	6	13	3	0	0	3	5	0	12	0	0	.188	.240	.232	.472
Pitches 76-90	92	9	20	3	0	2	7	5	0	19	1	0	.217	.253	.315	.568
Pitches 91-105	39	1	11	2	0	0	2	5	0	7	0	0	.282	.364	.333	.697
Pitches 106-120	8	0	1	0	0	0	2	1	0	2	0	0	.125	.222	.125	.347
Inning 1-3	356	48	89	14	1	8	45	25	4	51	5	0	.250	.303	.362	.666

Glossary Groundball - results vs. "groundball pitchers." Groundball pitchers defined as such before the season begins based on the past five year's performance. A groundball/flyball ratio of less than 1.0 classifies one as a flyball pitcher. A ratio of greater than 1.5 classifies one as a groundball pitcher. All others are neutral. Flyball - results vs. flyball pitchers. Average G:F - results vs. a pitcher classifed as neither a groundball or flyball pitcher. Finesse - results vs. "finesse" pitchers. Finesse pitchers defined as such before the season begins based on the past five year's performance. If the pitcher's BB+SO/IP is less than 0.93, he is classified as "finesse." If it's greater than 1.13, he's classified as "power." All others are neutral. Power - results vs. "power" pitchers. Average F:P - results vs. a pitcher classified as neither a finesse or power pitcher. Close And Late - results in the 7th inning or later with the batting team either ahead by one run, tied or with the potential tying run at least on deck.

Stats provided by STATS LLC

More Fun With The Names of Dodgers Pitchers

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Tonight L.A. trots out Hiroki Kuroda.

I can't help but think how it sounds like the Napolean Dynamite coined word "decroted". As in, "Why don't you go eat a decorted piece of CRAP?" (far right, 5th from top)

Well tonight the Cubs are gonna eat a Kuroda piece of crap. They eat pieces of crap like Kuroda for breakfast.

Dumber Ass: O.J. Simpson or Lawrence Phillips?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


It looks like we filled up the backfield for the All-Time Dumbass Football Team.

Both morons were in legal news today. O.J. was convicted for the 1994 murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman armed robbery, among other things and Lawrence Phillips was sentenced to 10 years in the hooey for armed robbery.

What I learned from all of this is that it's not a very good idea to punch a woman, drive a car onto a football and hit three kids, murder your ex-wife and her friend, or to commit armed robbery while being audio-taped. These are all innocent mistakes we make all the time without even thinking about them. But I hope their convictions make people stop and think about them now. I know I sure will.

One final thought: This conviction makes me question 2Pac's psychic ability. I gave him a free pass for not seeing his drive-by demise coming, but in the song "Picture Me Rollin'" he declares himself "Free like O.J., all day.". This really changes things for me.

Just to Recap: Schoolhouse Rock's I'm Just a Bill

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


Don't be proud, we all could use some brushing up on our political process. Check it out.






See how your Congressmen voted on Friday's Bailout Bill HR 1424

Overview of the Earmarks in HR 1424

See who voted no on the first Bailout Bill, HR 3997

The Bailout Bill, HR Bill 1424, Passes in the House: See How Your Congressmen Voted Here

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


About time. It passed 263 to 171, I'll try to get the names of the 171 House Reps. whose mother's drank while pregnant with them.

UPDATE: The votes of each House Rep. can be found here.

Here are the Nay Votes from Senate (copied from here), in alphabetical order, The Asses are as follows:

1. Sen. Wayne Allard [R, CO]
2. Sen. John Barrasso [R, WY]
3. Sen. Samuel Brownback [R, KS]
4. Sen. Jim Bunning [R, KY]
5. Sen. Maria Cantwell [D, WA]
6. Sen. Thad Cochran [R, MS]
7. Sen. Michael Crapo [R, ID]
8. Sen. Jim DeMint [R, SC]
9. Sen. Elizabeth Dole [R, NC]
10. Sen. Byron Dorgan [D, ND]
11. Sen. Michael Enzi [R, WY]
12. Sen. Russell Feingold [D, WI]
13. Sen. James Inhofe [R, OK]
14. Sen. Tim Johnson [D, SD]
15. Sen. Mary Landrieu [D, LA]
16 Sen. Bill Nelson [D, FL]
17. Sen. Pat Roberts [R, KS]
18. Sen. Bernard Sanders [I, VT]
19. Sen. Jefferson Sessions [R, AL]
20. Sen. Richard Shelby [R, AL]
21. Sen. Debbie Ann Stabenow [D, MI]
22. Sen. Jon Tester [D, MT]
23. Sen. David Vitter [R, LA]
24. Rep. Roger Wicker [R, MS-1]
25. Sen. Ron Wyden [D, OR] <------ Benefited from the Bow and Arrow earmark. The biggest asshole of HR 1424 by far.


You can see the votes of the first bailout bill here

Revised Bailout Bill to go to Vote in the House Later Today

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Since this topic of bailout has been a huge source of frustration, I'll share with you the only good news I've read about it. TheDrudgeReport ran a headline that "Billy O'Reilly blasts Barney Frank over Fannie Mess". That's Rep. Frank (D-MA), the Chairmen of the House Committee on Financial Services, and male prostitute (prostidude?) connoisseur, regarding his alleged role in the Fannie Mae debacle. Whether it was a dig at his previous scandal, an inadvertent pun, or an allegation that he looks like the kinda guy that often has a messy fannie, you Gotta love puns on the DrudgeReport.

Ok, fun's over. The vote today on the revised Bill, HR 1424, is of massive importance, and had better pass. When the original bill (HR 3997) was shot down earlier in the week it had to be re-worked and voted on again because even those that voted "nay" realized something has to be done. As with all things Washington, "re-worked" doesn't mean that the plan was drastically re-rewritten and fundamentally altered, it means that it's still pretty much the same but with a ton of earmarks* attached. Just because passing HR1424 is pretty much a national emergency, does that mean that it's such an emergency that it can't be kitted-out with some pork? Hell no. Just ask Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR). He had time to see to it that a provision (i.e. earmark) were attached to the bill that helped out the makers of wooden arrows (yes, as in "bows and arrows"), and would be worth about $200,000 for Rose City Archery in Myrtle Point, Oregon. Classy move, Asshole.

Now, you might be saying, "Wow, Ron Wyden sure sounds like an asshole alright. But, I'm a NASCAR fan and surely, you'd agree that NASCAR-related tax breaks are as important as a national financial bailout. Are there any earmarks in the bill related to that?" The answer is yes. You are in luck. Taxpayers For Common Sense reports:

"Creation of a seven-year cost recovery period for construction of a motorsports racetrack: Track owners currently follow a seven-year depreciation schedule and write each year's depreciation off their taxes. The IRS wanted to increase the depreciation timetable to 15 years, which would mean the track owner's depreciation would be cut in half. The measure in the keeps the seven-year depreciation schedule for two years and would cost taxpayers $100 million."

Oh good. I wasn't able to find the congressman that added that crucially important earmark, but I hope that information surfaces in the coming days. If you're a mashochist and would like to read more on pork going along for the ride with HR 1424 you can check the following: The previous link to Taxpayers for Common Sense- CNN and the NYPost and probably every other outlet covering this appears to be just be making footnotes to TFCS article. It reads a bit like a textbook, but is very detailed. This CNN article does a good job of making it easier to take in and is a link from this article, in which all of the links in it are pretty useful. http://financialservices.house.gov/ is the homepage of the committee sponsoring the bill (and has a hot pic of your boy Barney Frank). Lastly, Today's NYPost covers it in tradition Post fashion- easily digestible but not too in-depth.

Lastly, I'll make a self-indulgent side note. As you either know or can figure out easily, this blog is not exactly on the radar of national media. No, it's ok to snicker at that, don't feel guilty. But after I ran this article where I display the names of all the congressmen that voted against the original bailout bill, I've gotten over 20 hits from Congressional computers to my blog. Congressmen (or their handlers, more likely) have Googled themselves and wound up here I have also had hits that were linked to here via email- meaning that someone emailed their congressman that page, or someone a congressional representative passed it along to a fellow rep. and probably said something like, "Even a-hole bloggers are calling us out. We probably ought to vote yes, and include less pork this time." That's how you know this bill is a big deal. People in Congressional offices are reading this blog.



UPDATE: Get the Vote Results here.
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Footnotes:


*= Earmarks, or "pork" or "pork barrel spending". What happens too often in Washington is that a Congressman is writing a bill that he needs to pass because he promised its contents to his constituents and he has to grease the skids to get it to pass. He may need just one more vote for to get it to pass, so he'll approach a fellow congressman that he knows will be voting on that bill, who probably doesn't care about that bill one way or the other and ask, "What is it I can do to this bill to ensure you vote in favor of it?" And the congressman will say "Well, I'm about to buy a ranch in Montana and retire there. So if you can add a page to the bill saying "The taxes of all purchases on Montana ranches should drop from 8% to 7.4% that would guarantee my vote." And then it's done. Some bills require more than one earmark from even greedier congressmen.

"Fannie mess" hehehehe.

Fat Fall Friday

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Kind of a slow week for Fat Falls.






What I like about this one is that it appears that the fat faller isn't a friend of the cameraman. It looks like he was looking out his window and then thought, "Wow, fat guy on a little motorbike! I better go get my camera."

Four Cases of Florida Being WhereCrazyHappens

By: Polekat $lim


Exhibit A: Firstly, this is VERY UN-SAFE for work. Check out the license plate in the picture. Yup, it's Forida.

Exhibit B: This little number. Note to all the guys out there: Don't do what this guy did. It's just gonna increase her ego and she'll use it to her advantage next opportunity she gets.

Exhibit C: I bet there was some major jigglage going on when that happened.

Exhibit D: This is just white trash.



-Polekat $lim

Being a Cubs Fan is Like Being in Brokeback Mountain

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


It's true. Being a Cubs fan is like being in Brokeback Mountain: I wish I could quit them, and all they do is B.F. me.


Why Fukudome was in the lineup is something I will never understand. And how he is fooled by breaking balls 100% of the time is even less excusable. Kosuke, how about you sit on a breaking ball and not on a fastball sometime? Seriously. If I saw a three year old girl look as bad swinging and missing as you do on off-speed pitches, I'd tell her to quit baseball immediately.

Lee, Ramirez and Soriano- We should call you The Halloween Hookers, because you guys do a LOT of laying down in October- and make a LOT of money doing it too. Good god. Eli Manning's goobery hangdog face is more confidence-inspiring than the looks on your loser faces in the playoffs. I would be legitimately excited if I saw all three of those chokers benched on Saturday. I have had enough of seeing them look like beaten men in the playoffs.

You guys are gonna give Ron Santo an H.A.

Lookalikes 13.0: Ryan Howard and Tracy Morgan

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Congress Votes on the New Bailout Bill on Friday

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com


You can check here tomorrow to see how your Congressman voted. Just to recap, here is the list of the derelict Congressmen that voted "No" earlier on HR 3997, the bailout/rescue bill.



NAY 228

Abercrombie Aderholt Akin Alexander Altmire Baca Bachmann Barrett (SC) Barrow Bartlett (MD) Barton (TX) Becerra Berkley Biggert Bilbray Bilirakis Bishop (UT) Blackburn Blumenauer Boustany Boyda (KS) Braley (IA) Broun (GA) Brown-Waite, Ginny Buchanan Burgess Burton (IN) Butterfield Buyer Capito Carney Carson Carter Castor Cazayoux Chabot Chandler Childers Clay Cleaver Coble Conaway Conyers Costello Courtney Cuellar Culberson Cummings Davis (KY) Davis, David Davis, Lincoln Deal (GA) DeFazio Delahunt Dent Diaz-Balart, L. Diaz-Balart, M. Doggett Doolittle Drake Duncan Edwards (MD) English (PA) Fallin Feeney Filner Flake Forbes Fortenberry Foxx Franks (AZ) Frelinghuysen Gallegly Garrett (NJ) Gerlach Giffords

Gillibrand Gingrey Gohmert Goode Goodlatte Graves Green, Al Green, Gene Grijalva Hall (TX) Hastings (WA) Hayes Heller Hensarling Herseth Sandlin Hill Hinchey Hirono Hodes Hoekstra Holden Hulshof Hunter Inslee Issa Jackson (IL) Jackson-Lee (TX) Jefferson Johnson (GA) Johnson (IL) Johnson, Sam Jones (NC) Jordan Kagen Kaptur Keller Kilpatrick King (IA) Kingston Knollenberg Kucinich Kuhl (NY) Lamborn Lampson Latham LaTourette Latta Lee Lewis (GA) Linder Lipinski LoBiondo Lucas Lynch Mack Manzullo Marchant Matheson McCarthy (CA) McCaul (TX) McCotter McHenry McIntyre McMorris Rodgers Mica Michaud Miller (FL) Miller (MI) Mitchell Moran (KS) Murphy, Tim Musgrave Myrick Napolitano Neugebauer Nunes

Ortiz Pascrell Pastor Paul Payne Pearce Pence Peterson (MN) Petri Pitts Platts Poe Price (GA) Ramstad Rehberg Reichert Renzi Rodriguez Rogers (MI) Rohrabacher Ros-Lehtinen Roskam Rothman Roybal-Allard Royce Rush Salazar Sali Sánchez, Linda T. Sanchez, Loretta Scalise Schiff Schmidt Scott (GA) Scott (VA) Sensenbrenner Serrano Shadegg Shea-Porter Sherman Shimkus Shuler Shuster Smith (NE) Smith (NJ) Solis Stark Stearns Stupak Sullivan Sutton Taylor Terry Thompson (CA) Thompson (MS) Thornberry Tiahrt Tiberi Tierney Turner Udall (CO) Udall (NM) Visclosky Walberg Walz (MN) Wamp Watson Welch (VT) Westmoreland Whitfield (KY) Wittman (VA) Woolsey Wu Yarmuth Young (AK) Young (FL)

Getting the Cubs Back on Track: An Open Letter to Lou Piniella

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



Lou,

I'm a Cubs fan, not a masochist. With that in mind, let's get right to it.

1. Don't lead off Soriano ever again. If he isn't in one of his twice-a-year hitting streaks, he kinda sucks. He says that he feels most comfortable leading off. Based on his flailing failures at the plate last night, would you use the word "comfortable" to describe him? Me neither. Since he's 0% comfortable, bat him 7th or 8th so he his discomfort can be swept under the rug a bit more, instead of ruining the top of order.

2. Bench Fukudome. You can put him in for defensive purposes later in the game to protect a lead, but let's actually try to acquire a lead first. And it's been difficult as of late to acquire a lead with him in the lineup and Soriano leading off. Put DeRosa in right, and Fontenot at second. I realize DeRo isn't 100% but he's a gamer, he'll be fine. Even if he makes a 2-base error, it can't be worse than what Fukudome does at the plate.

3. Make sure Zambrano is hydrated tonight, and doesn't get his Matt Foley on and drink coffee in the clubhouse for 4 hours (1:22 mark) before the game.


That's it. Do those and keep doing what you've been doing.


Awesome Regards,


T.R.

Wait...The Dodgers Are Pitching WHO?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Apparently the Dodgers are sending a Chad Billingsly to the mound today against the Cubs. No seriously. Chad Billingsly. Anyone with any concern for the awesome knows that Los Angeles has room for only two Billingslies in town, and both slots are occupied. *Ugh,*I'll break down what should already be known.

1) Barbara Billingsly. Pop Culture Icon June Cleaver on Leave it To Beaver. She will forever be the quintessential homemaker and famously battled the also quintessential duplicitous teenage snake, Eddie Haskel. More modern pop-culture junkies will be interested to know that she voiced "Nanny" on Muppet Babies. Any respected judge of television-mother-awesomeness ranks Barbara Billingsley's June Cleaver amongst the likes of Claire Huxtable, Carol Brady, and Lois Griffin as the coolest television mothers of all time. Anyone claiming to be a better Hollywood Billingsley is blasphemous. She is THE Hollywood Billingsley.










2) Peter Billingsley.

Just when you think your city has met it's quota for awesome Billingsleys, this guy comes along. Barbara had long been known as THE Hollywood Billingsley, much like Jean Shepherd long been hailed as THE story-teller of his day. Yet no one could have foreseen that Shepherd's book In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash would one day become a movie that would change a young Peter Billingsley's life and launch him into pop-culture iconography. He'd go onto play Ralphie Parker, the lead role the film adaptation of Shepherd's book; a movie called A Christmas Story, which would go on to be the most popular Christmas movie in Hollywood History. That movie is now a househould staple, and "Ralph Parker", thus forever linking him with Barbara as the only Billingsleys of import in the history of Los Angeles.


So like all good icons, what happened to them? They were copied. The Beatles had the Monkees, Diff'rent Strokes had Webster, Nirvana had Pearl Jam, and Bill Hicks had Dennis Leary. So it's logical to assume that Barbara and Peter Billingsley would one day be copied.

Apparently that day is today. The Dodgers of Los Angeles are trotting out their latest in icon knock-offery, someone named Chad Billingsley. Who does he think he is???? Much like how I would never allege that France needs more black denim wearing guys with B.O.. And I'd never wish we had more Boy Bands to rival the legacies of 'NSync and the Backstreet Boys; America, much less L.A., has no need for another Billingsley. We just don't. L.A. has produced two inconic Billingsleys, and we need to make room for other last names to achieve iconic status. Cheering for Chad Billingsley or the Dodgers on Thursday would be like cheering for someone who called himself Kurt Cobain II, or a band called The Next Beatles; we're content with the prior namesakes, but thanks anyway. So be a good American and vote No for the L.A. Dodgers in tomorrow's election.