53 Glenn Beck Fans get Tricked, car's towed.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This made me laugh so hard that I teared up.






That's how I roll.

Two Awesome Videos

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Cant get enough of Kid Cudi's Pursuit of Happiness video. The champagne spraying scene was good, but wasn't the best. The best? That is below the Kid Cudi video. (oh and the second video's footage is ghetto, but its the best quality youtube video of that clip. trust me.)












That's how I roll.

Celebrating the Cup of Life with Ricky Martin

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Ricky, there is nothing wrong with celebrating the Cup of Life. Heck, how could I begrudge you when you have so much in common with all of my ex-girlfriends (i.e. a fondness for dude's junk). Ole Ole Ole. (I didn't know how to type an accent mark over the "e"s there.















That's how I roll.

This Damn Near Changed my Life

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Kids doing the last half of Scarface.







That's how I roll.

Enjoyable Accents to do in Solitude

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This article on Deadspin got me thinking about my favorite accents or voices to do while no one is around to hear you.

• Hick- It just doesn't get old. Singing rap lyrics with a hick accent is maybe my favorite thing to do in the world. Singing any other kind of songs with a hick accent is also highly rewarding.
  
• Ghetto- I am always adding to my bag of tricks with this one. I learn new stuff everyday from watching BET, ESPN, MTV, HBO, Comedy Central, reading MediaTakeOut.com and TheYBF.com (especially the comments), rap music, randoms I interact with that speak the language,
  
• Indian-American- the classic Apu from the Simpsons accent. I like using it to say especially crude things, since we never think of Indian-Americans as foulmouthed and then ending the gross rant with, "ooohhh, dats de way I like, bay-be!"
  
• German- Basically I always say "zees" instead of this, and "und" instead of "and". Also, most German accents pronounce "Wi-Fi" as "wee-fee", and that has to count for something.
• Italian- As in someone that lives in Italy and is a shaky English speaker. Eeff ah, you went, ah, to eeTaly, you would, ah, hear a lot of thiss, ah.
  
• Mr. Mackey from South Park- Let's just say it's fun to do, mmmm'kay.
  
• Annoying NYC Sopranos wannabe- voices alarm by saying "Ow!", makes frequent veiled allusions to "knowing people", loves the Yankees and pretends to know about them but doesn't, pronounces "Italian" as "Itayan", and complains about all the food they eat because it doesn't measure up to the food they are used to eating where they are from. Example, "No, no, no. I don't eat there. I'll tell you why. Those people do not know the right way to make an Itayan sandwich."
• a Southern Preacher- End every sentence like-ah, this-ah!!! Because you love-ah, Jeeezizz-ah!
• The Chicago Accent. Pretty much the accent from Da Bears sketch on SNL. The accent works best when talking about unhealthy foods, beer or Chicago sports, since that is what most people with this accent talk about. Example, "Jesussss, that'sss a lotta grilled cheessessss, my frent"
  

That's how I roll.

Good Cubs Article

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I don't know a Cubs fan who is actually excited about the 2010 season. Here is a brief write-up on them, anyway.





That's how I roll.

Great Article About Synthetic Horse Racing Surfaces

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I copied and pasted this article from DRF.com. It's written by Steven Crist, publisher and editor of the Daily Racing Form.

Crist Blog | March 27, 2010

Dubai World Crapshoot

The richest horse race in history was staged in Dubai earlier today, and it was a $10 million advertisement for how synthetic surfaces can make a complete mess of so-called world-class championship racing. For all that it proved about the quality of the contestants either individually or as a group, the results of the Dubai World Cup might as well have been drawn out of a hat.

The winner, front-running Gloria de Campeao, is an admirably durable Brazilian 7-year-old who was beaten 16 1/2 lengths by Curlin in the 2008 World Cup and 14 lengths by Well Armed in the race last year. Those two editions, like the 12 before them, were run on dirt but this year's version at the new Meydan Racecourse was run on Tapeta, a synthetic surface which until this year had never been used for anything more prestigious than a Grade III race at Golden Gate Fields.

The runner-up, Lizard's Desire, came into the $10 million race with a field-low bankroll of $207,442, having finished 10th and 11th in his two prior starts in Group 1 company in his native South Africa. Allybar, who was third, was 0 for 6 in graded or group races of any kind. America's supposed synthetic specialists -- BC Classic runner-up Gio Ponti (who finished 4th), Goodwood winner Gitano Hernando and Pacific Classic winner Richard's Kid -- had no impact on the finish.

Tapeta may well be a lovely training surface, and it has gotten high marks among synthetic tracks, but no one can really explain why anyone needs a third type of horse racing to go along with the dirt and turf racing that has defined the sport and its great horses for centuries. The Maktoums' decision to replace dirt with Tapeta at their gaudy new racing palace was a premature guess that these new surfaces might somehow magically combine dirt and turf racing into one globally-accepted footing. That hasn't happened and isn't going to anytime soon, or probably ever.

Instead, it remains entirely unclear what this World Cup proved other than Bob Baffert's adage that synthetic tracks make good horses look ordinary and ordinary horses look good. (And put down your torches -- this has nothing to with Zenyatta, a transcendently great horse who handles everything and is probably as good or better on dirt than on synthetics.) Sure, plenty of major dirt races end with befuddling finishes (cf. Kentucky Derby, 2005 and 2009) and there were even bigger upsets on grass today than on Tapeta. But in the past, the World Cup was a true showcase for champions, such as Cigar, Silver Charm, Dubai Milennium, Invasor and Curlin. Now? Step right up and spin the wheel.

That's how I roll.

Cribs

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

You know how on Cribs they say stuff like, "If you aint got a lambo, you aint no big dog!", or, "You know you're ballin' if you got one of these!" or when Master P said of his bejeweled necklace, "if you can buy this necklace and actually afford it, you're a true G."

If you have lived here or visited here, you a big dog/G/are ballin"



It's true. I resided there. Second floor. That narrow verticle window was the bathroom. We set up an opaque somethingorother on the lower panel and then the lower window panel could be dropped. So we could put the window down and talk to people on the sidewalk and once I even played catch with a football while in the shower with friends from the sidewalk.

I was Alive With Pleasure only without the newport cigarettes.





That's how I roll.

I am Great

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter




I told you in February that KY wouldn't win the Madness of March.











That's how I roll.

This is an Uber-Doozy

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This is just your typical, two gay guys fighting at a welfare office then when one kicks the other's ass he starts voguing to celebrate being manlier than his vanquished former opponent.

By the way, this happened in Chicago. Don't even mess the gay boys in Chicago. That's why I never go to gay bars.










That's how I roll.

Wow

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This is a doozey. And not safe for work. That is one fountain of youth I would NOT like to drink out of.








That's how I roll.

Big Time A-Hole, Good Apology

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


He owned up to it like a man and sounded sincere.





That's how I roll.

This Would be Annoying

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


What if you discovered a vital property contained in snake oil that was previously unknown. Surely, you'd want to get the word out, and ideally, profit from it. But who would believe you, given the reputation of snake oil salesmen from a previous era?





That's how I roll.

When People go To The Extreme but do NOT Rock the Mic Like a Vandal

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Why do the right wing extremists, the ones who hate the terrorists the most, not see their congressman-threatening actions and language as terrorism?







That's how I roll.

G.W. Bush Wipes his Hands on Bill Clinton After Shaking Hands With Haitians. (?)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter








That's how I roll.

Someone has Gotta Say This: The Diary of a Wimpy Kid Poster Is Creepy

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Note: I was unable to enlarge this picture to the extent of where I first saw it. If what I say about the photo above isn't abundantly clear to you at first glance please see the larger version of that picture here.

This is a photo of the new movie Diary of a Wimpy Kid. The title charcter, is the short, pale kid third from the right.

I will just come out and say it: I think that kid's crotch has been photoshopped to make it look like he has a vagina. )Look at the link to see a bigger photo. )

Here's what will happen: You'll say, "what kind of pervert are you? You must be sick. I will look, but if it is not totally, 100% black and white obvious what you're alleging, then you are disgusting. If it is that obvious though, you may have a point." Then after looking you'll agree that it's too obvious to not be a photoshop job. It isn't a photo of a real wrestling team that I am alleging is photoshopped, it's a movie poster that attempts to make obvious which kid is the wimpiest, or least manly. How could you imasculate a kid? Oh I don't know, how about the time-tested method- give him a cameltoe.

Below is blowup of the area in question. Were folds in fabric a coincidence?

That's how I roll.

John Wall. Who? John Wall

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

My dad invented this dance in the early 90's while taunting me in a game of Monopoly while he was winning decidedly. It is of course, the John Wall dance.









That's how I roll.

Public Service Announcement

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Schizophrenia is a psychological malady that essentially means you are delusional, hear voices in your head, have "undirected thought", and are insane.

Multiple Personality Disorder is where a person thinks they possess more than one person within themself.

Overlap is possible but not altogether common, either. If someone is crazy they are schizophrenic. Let's stop with the analogies like, "This baseball team is schizophrenic: sometimes it's great and sometimes it's horrible", or "one minute she's nice, then the next minute she's crazy, talk about a schizophrenic!".







That's how I roll.

Oh Yee-uh Yee-uh Yee-uh

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Rachel Alexandra and Rachel Alexandra both race tomorrow. Separately. They are both prepping for the MONUMENTAL showdown in the Apple Blossom next month. Zenyatta hasn't raced since she shook up da worl' in the Breeders Cup Classic in November. Rachel hasn't race since she nearly blew the roof of the historic wooden Saratoga in early September at the Woodford Memorial.

My dream has always been: at the same time Rachel Alexandra races Zenyatta in a race with other horses (i.e. not a match race), while Manny Pacquiao boxes Floyd Mayweather in the infield's backstretch turn, while at the far turn is a steel cage match in a 100 yd. x 100 yd. steel cage that is 50% water 50% land that contains a lion, tiger, orca and a great white shark.

You have to dream big. You HAVE to.





That's how I roll.

Ohhh Maaaa Gaaaaa: James Lipton IS Respectable!!!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Gentleman.


Does THIS look familiar?





James Lipton lent the dude voice. This list nearly changed my life. 7 celebrities with bad ass lives you didn't know. Dr. Seuss made a WWII Propaganda film that apparently kicked hiney, and he drew some awesome posters (shown in the link). Rogert Ebert wrote some softcore 'ornography for Russ Meyer. Sir Isaac Newton invented the pet door.

P.S. How awesome would it be if you traced your family lineage back to Sir Isaac Newton and your like great-great-times 19 grandfather was friends with Sir Isaac Newton and left a diary referring to him as "Ike"? I mean, if that were true for me, I'd probably tell chicks that while hitting on them.





That's how I roll.

Sorry K. Ro. You Be Lookin' Hammy, Brah

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


So I guess that is why none of my Jewish friends like Karl Rove.






That's how I roll.

Corey Haim Dead

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

He will always be known to me as the guy who made more strides for the "agape mouth is sexy" movement. Especially within the female teenager demographic. While questions linger about his death, one certainty is that he was #30 on my Big Board for my celebrity death pool draft that never happened 4 years ago.

Corey's spirit (i.e. the movie License to Drive) will live on forever.






That's how I roll.

Maxwell Doing a Larry David Cover

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I watched this past season of Curb your Enthusiasm when it aired. It ended a few months ago, I think, and I enjoyed it. Then recently I've been listening to Pretty Wings by Maxwell a lot and something sounded familiar. When Larry David does his new (I think, this is the first season I've watched of Curb) catchphrase of, "Pretty, pretttyyy, pretttayy, pretttaaayyyyyy good." It reminds me of from about the 2:30 mark to the 3:20 mark (and its best at 3:20) of the aforementioned Pretty Wings.

See fo' yo' gottdamn self.





Pretty Wings by Maxwell (our part is at 3:20)








That's how I roll.

MORE Proof That God Doesn't Exist

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter



Told you.






That's how I roll.

Oh Hell Neezy: Jaime Escalante is In Declining Health!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Check it out on Radar.com

For those of you who don't appreciate the finer things in life, Jaime Escalante was the inspiration of the movie Stand and Deliver.

Or, as I called him, "Himeezy Escaleezy"







That's how I roll.

Where Aweome Happens Singalikes v. 1.0: Manny Pacquiao and Herve Villechaize

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

They are both so awesome.
















That's how I roll.

Best Thing Possible. By Far.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I remember in middle school when a kid in my school would act like he was in a gang, he'd throw up his (alleged) gang's sign and ask, "Do you claim this?". Not sure what it was all about, but I think he was asking if anyone dared show the effrontery to claim that they too were a member of that gang. Blasphemy of that order not being tolerated, a fight would ensure. At least I think that was the point, I never saw anything become of it.

Anyway, the point is that's what I'm doing with this video. I'm posting it and if you don't claim to like it, then maybe we just aren't that into eachother. If you haven't seen the Epic Beard Guy video here's a brief synopsis: a bearded white dude and a black dude have a disagreement on an Oakland public bus, they get in a fight and the bearded white dude beats the crap out of the black dude (who is visibly drunk by the way, making it an unfair fight, but I digress). The black dude got hit in the face a lot and was bloodied, while suggesting someone call an ambulance, he for some reason, pronounced it "Amberlamps".

The remix game is afoot.










That's how I roll.

It's Time we Look Into the Future

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter



Lets take a look at the Las Vegas futures pools for the KY Derby, March Madness, the World Cup, and Baseball. Not because I have some insight that you can gain, but because it's fun to think about the playoffs/post season/huge race, etc. even when it isn't not all that close to us.

First up: KY Derby. (you can find the past performances of the Derby eligible horses here.) If you have never heard of any of these horses that's ok, as I have heard of about 4 of them. This is the second "pool" or round of betting, you can see that atop the list it says "Pool 2", some horses were dropped or added since Pool 1 and odds on some horses have changed, (drastically in the case of Eskendereya- click here to see the race that precipitated his odds plummeting).

KY Derby Future Wager Pool 2 Odds
#	Horse	M/L Odds
1	Aikenite	50-1
2	American Lion	30-1
3	Buddy’s Saint	12-1
4	Caracortado	12-1
5	Connemara	20-1
6	Conveyance	12-1
7	D’Funnybone	30-1
8	Dave in Dixie	30-1
9	Discreetly Mine	30-1
10	Dublin	15-1
11	Eskendereya	6-1
12	Jackson Bend	20-1
13	Lookin at Lucky	6-1
14	Nextdoorneighbor	30-1
15	Noble’s Promise	30-1
16	Odysseus	50-1
17	Radiohead	20-1
18	Rule	20-1
19	Setusko	50-1
20	Sidney’s Candy	20-1
21	Super Saver	20-1
22	Tempted to Tapit	50-1
23	Vale of York	30-1
24	Field (all others)	7-2

Many of these horses raced in the Breeder's Cup Juvenile, the chart of the results can be found here And the race can be viewed here.



That race was 1/16th of a mile shorter than the Derby will be, and was raced over a synthetic surface, whereas the KY Derby will be run over dirt. A few random notes about that race and the Derby:

-You can get 30-1 odds on the winner of the BC Juvenile in the Derby Futures Pool.

- Lookin at Lucky was undefeated going into that race (all of his races coming over a synthetic surface, like he saw in the Breeder's Cup), lost by a head, will race on natural dirt in KY Derby, yet still remains co-favorite at 6-1. Doesn't seem like great value. He also loses value for having a superstar trainer in Bob Baffert- who doesn't hurt his chances of winning the Derby, but also skews his price, much like buying a condo in a Trump-owned building. The owner doesn't make the condo good or bad, but with an owner like Trump, you can be sure you won't be getting a steal, either, in fact, you'll probably overpay.

-D'Funnybone was the 4th betting favorite in Juvenile and is currently 30-1. You can see him winning his 2010 debut here in the Grade 2 Hutechson Stakes.

- Vale of York had never raced on anything but grass before his win in the BC Juvenile.

-Aikenite finished 5th and was the third betting favorite in the Juvenile and is now at 50-1.

-Noble's Promise was the second favorite in the Juvenile, finished third by a head, and is now 30-1 in the Derby pool. Why? Because he has never raced on a dirt surface.

So that's the Derby. I haven't paid much attention to horse racing since the Breeder's Cup, but I am starting to pick it up again now. I am not making any predictions just yet, but just trying to gather the facts, note the trends, and begin watching the upcoming Derby prep races.



NCAA Futures- taken from VegasInsider.com

Future Book Odds ODDS TO WIN THE 2009-2010 NCAA MEN'S BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP Team Open Current Kansas 4/1 2/1 Kentucky 8/1 4/1 Syracuse 25/1 7/1 Villanova 14/1 10/1 West Virginia 15/1 15/1 Michigan State 6/1 15/1 Duke 16/1 15/1 Texas 7/1 18/1 Ohio State 40/1 18/1 Purdue 12/1 25/1

I didn't include all of the teams, but I thought these were the only ones with a chance to win it. It looks like the only real value on the board is Duke at 15-1. The point of playing a Futures Pool is to get better odds NOW then you would at the time of the event. If Kansas goes undefeated until the tournament starts, they still won't be less than 2-1, so they offer terrible value. If you love Kansas, why waste your money now when a player could get injured before the tournament starts, and why not just hold your money and take them at 2-1 on the day the tournament starts? Same goes for Kentucky. Syracuse was great value at 25-1, but 7-1 seems fair, and I can't see their price dropping below that before the tournament starts. Again, the point of a future's pool is to assume more risk (injuries, the unforeseen, team falling apart, etc.) and get a price break as a result. Unless you think that Duke, OSU or MSU will make a big run betwixt now and the start of the tourney, you'd be silly to make a wager on the current NCAA futures.



Baseball- taken again from VegasInsider.com Opening Line Current

N.Y. Yankees	3/1	14/5
Boston	13/2	11/2
Philadelphia	13/2	6/1
L.A. Angels	17/2	14/1
Detroit	20/1	24/1
Seattle	125/1	50/1
Arizona	75/1	60/1
Toronto	75/1	125/1
St. Louis	8/1
L.A. Dodgers	9/1
Tampa Bay	11/1
Chi. White Sox	12/1
Atlanta	12/1
Chi. Cubs	14/1
Colorado	20/1
N.Y. Mets	20/1
San Francisco	30/1
Texas	30/1
Minnesota	30/1

Again. If the Yankees were in the World Series, they'd be about about 1/1, so why take less than 3/1 in March? If your goal is to make $200 on the World Series this year, you could either bet about $65 on them in March, or about $110 in October. I'd prefer the latter, since if you do the latter, you at least know that the Yankoffs are IN the world series. Same for Boston and Philly, If the WS were the Yanks and Philly, Philly would be about 3/1, so why take them now at 6/1?

The only real value I can see might be with the White Sox and Mets, and I am not really sold on either.


World Cup- I got it from this site.

2010 FIFA World Cup – June 11 – July 11 – South Africa

Spain 9/2

Brazil 5/1

England 11/2

Argentina 9/1

Italy 11/1

Germany 12/1

Netherlands 12/1

France 14/1

Ivory Coast 25/1

Portugal 28/1

USA 50/1

Your guess is as good as mine, but my value play is Germany. True story: I have ESPN on while I am typing this and while typing Germany was my value play, I saw they lost 1-0 to Argentina. It's probably an omen. The only stand I will take is to not bet on England, they are just total wussies and love choking on the big stage. Don't believe me? Ask Tim Henman how his Wimbledon career went. England reminds me a bit of the Cubs- they make a lot of not noise, play up their tradition and love of the game, occasionally don't suck, have a huge and wild fanbase, and often confuse their bed for their toilet so to speak.










That's how I roll.

Funny or Die Presidential Sketch

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


This is new, funny and getting a lot of buzz.

Funny or Die's Presidential Reunion from Will Ferrell

That's how I roll.

News Story of the Day

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Can be found here on Mediaite.com

To quote/plagiarize them: "An atheistic student group at the University of Texas, San Antonio has undertaken a campaign to trade pornography for holy books – that is to say, they are distributing soft-core porn for any religious texts they receive. It’s almost as though they’ve undertaken this campaign to get some free press attention. Et voilà!"

the kicker? If you click the link, you can see a FoxNews "expert" discuss the legality of this stunt. He also references an alleged well-known porn which the news anchor had never heard of (nor have I) and describes it as "breasty" before going on to say, "I know my porn".

I'm not making that up.


Update: Still no word yet on whether or not that porn movie won any breastigious awards. Teatails as they arrive.... HELLLOOOOO.







That's how I roll.

Still Stinking: ESPN

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Congratulations ESPN, you managed to once again reprove that you suck.

They re-violated my Duke Lacrosse Scandal Theory (toward the bottom of the article). The short version of that theory is that if you never talk about that sport (like college lacrosse, in my eponymous example) then you don't have the right to cover a scandal about it (rape allegations at duke university's lacrosse team). For example, if a scandal breaks out between two members of the United States fencing team, we shouldn't have to hear about it, since we don't know any of its participants. But since ESPN talked about Tiger Woods at every opportunity before his scandal, they are permitted to talk about his scandal.

ESPN violated that rule today while talking about the murder of an Iowa high school football coach. When did ESPN start caring about Iowa high school football? Oh right, when there's a scandal. If ESPN continues on the scandal-for-ratings ethos, we all lose because that just shows how close to MTV ESPN has become. If we wanted scandal news, we'd read US Weekly or a newspaper. What if I wanted just sports news? Didn't ESPN used to be a channel for that?

Even if I did want scandal news, I wouldn't go to ESPN to get it. I'd go to a publication with more experience in covering criminal cases. With the economy as it is, the last thing America needs is Bob Ley going all Nancy Grace on us.







That's how I roll.

Prediction

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


Erin Andrews will wind up dating her Dancing With the Stars partner.

You heard it here first.





That's how I roll.

Awesome Video by OK Go

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I'm not a huge fan of hipstery music, but this video is totally awesome. It's safe for work and you can listen to it on mute if you'd rather, but you should see this video.








That's how I roll.