By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
ESPN analyst and ex-NFL player Merrill Hoge was playing in a celebrity football game in Miami and had some technical difficulty with his uniform. The problem? He was wearing a thong under his shorts. I don't know where to begin.
1. What dude wears thong underwear?
2. EVEN IF you did prefer thong underwear, if you are in a game of flag football where your opponents will constantly be reaching for something fastened to your shorts and then yanking, shouldn't you dress accordingly? And by "accordingly" I mean, "wear underwear that isn't a thong, or women's underwear"
3. #2 + this will game would have a ton of media cameras around.
4. I just threw up in my mouth
5. This didn't happen to Brian Boitano, Anderson Cooper or Ryan Secrest. This is a former Pittsburgh Steeler who played a man's man's game and now analyzes it on television for a living. Even if you love lacy thongs, just lie to us and act like you wear regular undergarments.
6. Do you think Sisqo would say that Hoge has dumps like a truck and thighs like 'what'?
7. This reminds of the time in one of the Naked Gun movies where Leslie Nielsen got in a fight with a dude with a turban and when he punched him and knocked it his turban off, it was revealed that under his turban, the dude was rocking a hot pink mohawk. Only this is not funny at all.
8. I am going to stop. What the hell? WHAT the hell? What the HELL?
That's how I roll.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
More Proof ESPN Is Classless: Merrill Hoge Manties Edition
The First Super Bowl Tradition on Sunday
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
I just finished one of my newest Super Bowl Sunday traditions, and the first one I do on Sunday. Wake up and check the news to see if any of the players got arrested or missed curfew. It looks like a clean slate for 2010. I'll cope, I guess.
P.S. Favorite double-entendre subplot? Who will be the Lucky Pierre tonight- Garcon or Thomas? There can be only one!
That's how I roll.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Super Bowl Name Karma
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
When the Patriots beat the Rams to win the Super Bowl in 2001 (the game was in 2002, but it concluded the 2001 season), you will recall that in the year of 9/11, the team named the Patriots won the Super Bowl.
This year pits the Colts and the Saints. So was it a better year for Colts or for Saints?
We'll start with the Saints. There wasn't really much news about literal Saints in 2009, and we know that no news is good news. So the Saints get a point for that.
We do know that the winner AND runner up for the 2010 Eclipse Award for Horse of The Year were both female horses (a filly and mare, respectively) and not Colts (dude horses). Furthermore the two females, Rachel Alexandra and Zenyatta, split 100% of the vote for Horse of the Year. Dude horses got zero total votes. So that's a negative for the Colts.
Based on my qualitative analysis of unrelated stuff, the Saints will win the Super Bowl.
That's how I roll.
Quality Road Sets Track Record in the Donn
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Quality Road humiliated the competition in the 2010 Donn Handicap run today at Gulfstream Park. He is what the Ancient Romans would call a malus puer, or bad boy.
This is why I thought he'd win the KY Derby and the Breeder's Cup Classic. If you have a hiney and you are ever in the vicinity of Quality Road be careful because he might kick it. You have been warned.
That's how I roll.
Better Rivalry
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
What is the better rivalry: LOL Cats vs. I Can Haz Cheezburger, or Tea Party Express vs. Tea Party Patriots?
That's how I roll.
Lookalikes v 31.0- Steve Forbes and Senator Mitch McConnel
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Senator McConnell is on the left and Steve Forbes is on the right. They look so similar I don't even feel clever for noticing it.
That's how I roll.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Scott Lee Cohen Saga: Still Aweshome
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Guess where he met his ex-girlfriend? At a massage spa known for prostitution.
I sure won't be happy when this story is ending- so to speak. I can't believe How Jolly this story makes me. It will probably take a lot of legal wrangling for Pat Quinn to try to get Cohen off the ticket. He'll probably need a hand to release Cohen from the ticket. Does this story rub me the wrong way and tug at my heartstrings? Not really. We may as well hand the victory to the Republican party. I think you'd have to be a jerk to patronize a joint that specializes in prostitution.
That's how I roll.
ESPN is Classless Again
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Remember last year when non-ESPN sports media were reporting a likely far-fetched (and later dropped) civil suit rape allegation against Ben Roethlisberger? It just seemed fishy from the beginning and ESPN decided not to run the story because they didn't want to injure their relationship with the megastar Roethlisberger. Well, that wasn't their official reason. They said it was because it was a civil suit and not a criminal suit. After much scrutiny and allegations of putting PR with athletes ahead of journalism, ESPN decided to finally relent and report on the civil suit.
Now ESPN is going way out of their way to report on former ESPN talking head, and current talking head at their rival NFL Network, Michael Irvin's civil suit for rape allegation. It's the same exact suit as filed against Roethlisberger, and in the eyes of many sports fans, a non-story. Michael Irvin is a personality that sports fans tolerate, but no one embraces. A hall of fame player to be sure, but not someone a single sports fan cares about now. But for some reason ESPN has taken it upon themselves to mention Irvin's allegation on it's scrolling ticker at the bottom of the screen and even during it's brief "What's happening now" cutaways between commercials.
Do you think ESPN would do this if Irvin were still on their channel?
That's how I roll.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
More Awesome Chicago Politics
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
On Tuesday, Scott Lee Cohen won the democratic primary for IL Lieutenant Governor. On thursday he was defending allegations that he beat his ex wife and admitting to using injectable steroids.
Politics in Chicago is surreal. But not in the "I've-never-done-injectable-steroids" kinda way.
for further reading, this is a liveblog of a tv apperance
and the Tribune's report of it
and the Sun-Times
update: this too from the Chicago Reader
That's how I roll.
Saw This Today Where I Tutor
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
How 'bout you come inside and help me sort these?
That's how I roll.
I'm Sorry You Have To Hear This: Wedding Edition
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
It'd be awesome if a chick named Chastity married a Jewish guy named Hymen.
That's how I roll.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Up Yours, Scotland
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
The BMW of Glasgow Rangers midfielder DaMarcus Beasley was set on fire on Monday. When Europeans call American's backwards yokels with no culture, I like to point out that our sports fans are not overtly car-blowing-uply racist.
When did I become a champion of racial harmony? I'm not, but DaMarcus and I grew up in the same city and I played on the same team as him and his brother when I was in middle school.
That's how I roll.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
A Contest Where You Would Defeate Me Soundly
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Whoever thinks about this video the fewest amount of times in a day wins.
That's how I roll.
Bad Precedent: A Warning
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Be careful out there, brothers. It isn't illegal for your girl to krazy glue your hunk to your stomach.
That's how I roll.
Music Drop
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
I got reacquainted with some music I haven't listened to since college. Just passin it along.
I tried to include Outkast's Bombs Over Baghdad, so Fresh and So Clean and The Way You Move, but I couldn't get the embed code so I had to link them.
That's how I roll.
I Hope This Cat Snuggles With All of the St. Louis Cardinals Soon
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
This is by far the creepiest cat of all time. Cool, but creepy.
Read here to find out why.
As freaky as the story about Oscar the cat is, some good has come of it. I am speaking of course about how it reminded me of the Danger Kitty commercial from yesterdecade.
That's how I roll.
Friday, January 29, 2010
No Shit: Bill Simmons Names Cubs as the Most Tortured Sports Franchise
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
The article is here.
The Cubs have left all of their fans to do the Cry and Wap (pictured above) more than a few times. I never realized the dire state of fandom until after I lived in Chicago for a while. After the 2008 post season sweep by the Dodgers I was commiserating with the best Cub fan I know. A (female) kindergarten teacher who has lived in Chicago all of her life. I told her that it wasn't so much that I am surprised, or angry, or hurt or anything like that. I wasn't so much pissed off, but it just made me care less about next season because I knew that if I ever got truly excited about this Cubs team, I was just setting myself up for more disappointment. I told her that I vowed never to allow myself to get very excited about the Cubs EVER, and this loss really lowered my ceiling of potential Cub joy. I viewed my allegiance with the Cubs like falling off a ladder: If you KNEW you were gonna fall off that ladder, why bother climb more than a rung or two?
After venting, I was waiting for a saccharine response along the lines of, "oh cheer up, next year will all be different", or "time heals all wounds", etc. Instead she simply said, "I think now you know what it's like to be a Cubs fan"
That's how I roll.
I FINALLY Found This Online: The Titte Brothers
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
My friend Matodgey did some good lookin' out while referencing the passing of JD Salinger. He reminded me that JD himself introduces the avant garde Titte Brothers (at the 7:40 mark) in this clip that changed my life. For a few years I swore to God I was the only person who had ever seen this sketch and remembered the Titte Brothers. It's nice to know that I was not.
That's how I roll.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
A Way to get Through Another Boring Workday
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
We've all been sleep deprived at work and had difficulty staying alert/awake. An asshole truck driver from Ohio named Thomas Wallace has a new idea to combat workplace fatigue while sleep deprived: Watch pornography and commit vehicular manslaughter to pass the time.
Do us all favor and get a vasectomy, Wallace.
That's how I roll.
RIP JD Salinger
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Of all the rap songs mentioning JD Salinger, this one is probably my favorite. His shoutout is at the 2:20 mark.
That's how I roll.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Are you There, Florida? It's me, Weirdo: More Florida Awesomeness
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Thank you to Polekat $lim for sending along this link with the dialogue: and on and on and on it don't stop.... So true, my friend. So true.
Florida is awesome at having crazy people live in it. It's like the Men's Club of America.
That's how I roll.
elBulli to Close for two Years
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
el Bulli is widely accepted as the best restaurant in the world. I guess they're closing for two years to cognitively reload with concepts. I read that, but what I heard was, "we're going to take off two years and try to convince TR Slyder to give us his top secret grilled cheese recipe. If we don't get it in two years, we're closing our doors for good."
That's how I roll.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
When I get That Feeling, I Want Sexual Bending
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
You know how it goes. It starts with sexual bending, it leads to a rear-ending, and winds up as a happy ending. I've seen it a hundred times.
No word yet on if this affects the arbiter bibendi.
That's how I roll.
More like Greg D.O.den
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
After seeing the leaked pictures of Greg Oden's dingles. I keep thinking about this commercial.
You got sophisticated. You got dynamic. You are not a chameleon.
That's how I roll.
Cork Problems Got You Down?
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Of all the French people I've ever made fun of, the dude in the second video might be the least wussy of all of them.
That's how I roll.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
You are Welcome: Jersey Shore Sound Board
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter
Also check out my other soundboard post It's after the youtube video on this link.
That's how I roll.
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