Vladimir Putin Looking Fabio-tastic.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

These pictures are awesome. Vlad is the man.
























When I finally write my Socialist Romance Novel, that is totally gonna be the cover. Call me hetero, but I didn't find them to be as entertaining as I did the equine pictures below from Rolling Stone with Angelina Jolie.

























Oh and Vladimir, you can never outdo this world leader picture.




























I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Tip of the Hat

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

To Cubs Catcher Koyie Hill. The Cubs needed you to be come up huge and be available every single day until Soto got back. You have done that. While I have seen players hit the ball with more consistency, you excelled defensively, took zero days off and did your job. When Soto went down the Cubs just started getting hot and that did not change during your tenure as a starter- the precise job description of a substitute; you didn't disrupt the rhythm. As it turns out, you didn't make a case to replace Soto, but that's ok. You made a great a case for being a solid backup during a crucial time of the Cubs ascendency to the lead in the NL Central.

To further my point: I lifted this from here

Hill has caught 207 innings since Soto was hurt. That's nearly three games more -- 27 innings -- than any other catcher in baseball. The Dodgers' Russell Martin is next, at 181 2/3 innings, followed by St. Louis' Yadier Molina (179 2/3 innings) and Milwaukee's Jason Kendall (174).

Job well done.





I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

A Cutesy Story

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I won't get mad at you if you don't click this link and read the story, but if you need a pick-me-up or are skeptical about why I like horse racing, then check it out.

I'll ruin the story for you anyway- a little girl got to pet Rachel Alexandra while Rachel was in her stall at Saratoga. That's pretty much it.

That's what's neat about horse racing. Human athletes can rebuff kids for autographs, or get arrested with a DUI, say something stupid in the media, or hold out for money and leave your town and break your kid's heart. But when your kid likes a horse, they get to pet its nose and maybe even feed a carrot or peppermint before it goes to sleep on it's pile of hay.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

I bet I saw Something More Bizarre on the Northbound Brown Line Tonight Around Midnight than you did

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

I'm on the train tonight, the Brown Line, which, I find, has the most tame passengers of any train line. Anyway, things are fine and then a guy started talking to himself. Not a big deal, you see that all the time and it seemed pretty mumbley, so whatever. Then he stands up and walks to the doorway to check out the map of the system above the door. Not a big deal. He looked either drunk or a little slow- younger guy, out of shape in the way that slower people often are, wearing a pair of grubby, untied Air Jordans, grubby carpenter jeans and some kind of t-shirt. While looking at the map he was touching it with his fingers and pointing to different stops, like he was counting the number of stops until his destination. What made that more odd was that he was pointing to a lot of different lines, almost like he had no idea where he was going or what line he was on. He was also missing a digit on his right middle finger, which seemed to make sense for a gentleman like him.

He was right in front of me, so I was watching him I guess. I had nothing better to do. After his Magellan-like map reading exploits he was leaning on the door, which is not a safe thing to do, but didn't seem like a huge deal since I thought he'd probably go back to his seat in a minute or two as he seemed fidgety and always moving around. Then I see he was reaching above his head at the emergency door open latch. In Chicago it's basically in a little hole above the doorway, and it's a red ball on the end of a metal latch, that you just pull down. So in the middle of the train ride, he reaches up and pulls it down. Being on the Brown Line and on elevated tracks, that's really dangerous, especially for a guy that didn't seem to have the best balance in the world. He seemed drunk, or at least a stumbly as a drunk person- he had been doing a lot of leaning on the pole next to the door. So he pulls the latch and the door opens about two feet wide, and he's seems curious about it. Meanwhile the train is still moving and I'm like, "Ok, this is dangerous." So I get up and rush over to him and tug on the back of his shirt to get him away from the opening. I didn't think he'd be violent or anything, but I had hoped he wouldn't resist my firm suggestion when I said, "You don't want to do that". So I pulled him back as the train stops, and I manage to squeeze the door shut. After I told him that he said in a really docile voice, "ok", and went back to leaning on the pole while I shut the door. He sounded to me like a little kid getting disciplined and understanding why he was being disciplined. I didn't feel like getting in a fight, so it worked out well for everybody.

We were in the first car of the train and the train operator came out of his cock pit thingy and fiddled with the door for a second, then went back to the cock pit and we started going again. Then it was over.










I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Queezy Reezy won the Amsterdeezy

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Quality Road won the Amsterdam Stakes on Monday at Saratoga. TR Slyder scholars will doubtlessly remember that he was my pick for the Ky Derby before a recurring hoof injury sidelined from then until this race on Monday. Most people felt that Quality Road would need a race or two under his belt before he could be expected to be at his best. It appears that he was at his best today because he set a track record- not too bad considering that horses have been running at that track for 141 years.





Did the jockey's silks on the #5 horse look familiar? They are the same ones as Rachel Alexandra's jockey wears (as seen below with Calvin Borel up). They're the silks of Stonestreet Stables, who own the #5 and Rachel.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Are we Positive This Is NOT a Joke?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


1) Shockingly people aren't buying newspapers anymore. Hmmm. I don't understand why.
2) Is not writing on your face really a "rule"?








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Some Context for Rachel Alexandra's 116 Beyer Speed Figure

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter




I'll try to put the 116 in context a little. First, it's the fastest Beyer Speed Figure of the year so far. Second, Big Brown's highest career Beyer was 109. I pulled out the lifetime past performances for every Kentucky Derby winner since 1992 (Lil E. Tee) and checked out their Beyers- so every race by every Derby winner in the last 17 years. Of all of those races, only three horses have earned BSF's of 116 or higher (the 1992 winner, Lil E. Tee ran a 116 Beyer in the 1993 Razorback Handicap, 1997 Derby winner Silver Charm ran a 118 in the '97 Preakness, a 123 in the '98 Kentucky Cup Classic and a 118 in the '99 Santa Anita Handicap, Monarchos won the 2001 Derby with a Beyer of 116, and 2004 Derby winner Smarty Jones won the Preakness that year with a 118 BSF. That's the entire list- 4 horses, 6 times total.

I was looking over some other Past Performances I had laying around and came across the PP's of the 2006 Breeder's Cup Classic. That race featured notables such as, Bernardini, Brother Derek, Flower Alley, George Washington, Discreet Cat (he scratched from the race, but his PPs are still here), Lawyer Ron, Perfect Drift, Suave, Sun King, Perfect Drift and eventual winner, Invasor. That's a nice group. Here is how they fared in a similar evaluation (based on their career PP's up until the Classic)

Bernardini- 117 in the 2006 Jockey Club Gold Cup, and a 116 in the Travers that year.
Brother Derek- Career high of 108
Discreet Cat- Career high of 115 (at that point)
Flower Alley- Career high 112
Lawyer Ron- Career high 105
George Washington- raced in Europe where they don't use BSFs. But received a timeform rating of a 132 and one of a 129, which translate to right around the 116s BSF mark. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
Perfect Drift- 117 in the 2003 Stephen Foster
Invasor- career high 113
Lava Man- 120 2005 Hollywood Gold Cup

The 2008 Whitney Handicap featured exactly one horse who has ran a 116+. Commentator had topped that figure 3 times up to that point. The career Beyer high for the field in the Travers of that year was 106 (Harlem Rocker). None of the horses in the 2008 Arlington Million have come close to a 116.

Oh these are all male horses by the way. None of the horses listed has been female. To mix in some gender-based perspective: the high BSF for the (female) horses in the 2006 Breeder's Cup Distaff was Fleet Indian's 112. No other filly or mare had topped 105, and the highest BSF for a horse in the 2008 Beverly D. (also a race for fillies and mares) was 108.

Female horses just do not run 116's.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

It's Awesome how MSNBC has no Idea That it Shouldn't be Taken Seriously

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

That network gets more biased every day. I used to enjoy it, but now they are as agenda-tastic as Fox News.

Here is some more evidence of their stinkitude.

The article is good also because it talks about how Newscorp and GE got together to agree to silence Keith Olberman and Bill O'Reilly's jawing at eachother. It's funny how few media outlets are reporting on that story that essentially says, "yes corporations control the news when they feel like it". Funny how that works.

update: this is a good artcile about that as well






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Rachel Alexandra got a 116 Beyer Speed Figure for her Haskeel Effort

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


That is HUUUUUUGE. My first instinct was to call that figure "outlandish", or, "ridiculous" but I didn't want to convey that I don't believe in those figures' credibility. I believe in them. And I was expecting a a big figure, but closer to low 110's. I guess therein lies why I feel that Rachel Alexandra really demands me celebrating her, I've never said thought this about another horse before- Rachel Alexandra shocks me every single time I have seen her run.

I don't get called stupid very often, I'm rarely shocked, and I am very familar with the adage, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.". But I am happy to be shocked and shamed by her (does that make me a masochist?).

The list of other horse that have almost kinda nearly shocked me more than twice? Ummm. Off the top of my head? Ummm. Ghostzapper and Smarty Jones shocked me about twice each,but then retired. Other horses have shocked me twice, but for the sake of brevity their names were excluded. But Goddamn, my hat, shirt, pants and underwear is off to Rachel Alexandra. She is the best.












I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

A Feel Good Story. Seriously.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

This is a really nice story that I thought I'd pass along.

Although it's not 100% feel-good in the sense that it makes me feel like a dick for not doing anything remotely similar. But the story is objectively very heart-warming.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Jay HOVA is the Male Rachel Alexandra of Rapping

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Our Boy, Jay-Z, just headlined some festival in place of the Beastie-Boys. He opened with this badass cover of No Sleep Til Brooklyn. He covered the parts of the song sung by MCA who just announced he has cancer (I forget of what, and I'm too lazy to look it up right now), which is why the band dropped out of their gig at the festival.

Great song, great cover song. You're crazy for that one, Rick.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Rachel Alexandra Humiliates the Boys in the Haskell Invitational on Sunday

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

She is unbelievable. ESPN was derelict in not showing this race, but that is beside the point. I digreezy. The point is Rachel Alexandra is ludicrously awesome. You can watch the race (via YouTube) below. Over a sloppy Monmouth Park surface, she beat Belmont Stakes winner Summer Bird and Multiple Stakes winner Munnings in a time that was 2/5ths of a second off the course record. Not too shabby for a filly over a sloppy track.




Her connections still have no plans to run her in the Breeder's Cup, and I am still not blaming them.

Rachel is better at being a successful female racehorse than I am. And I have to live with that. Every day of my life.





I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Shock: I'm Ethical!

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Great article in the Washington Post today about bloggers ripping off newspaper articles.

It doesn't assail quoting articles, referring to them, or linking to them- just when bloggers essentially re-write the article then make little or no mention of its source. The article talks at length about Gawker.com doing this a lot, but I think Perez Hilton is a much larger offender (pun sort of intended, I guess) of this- both financially and influentially.

I borrow for articles all the time, but I link and cite them in the first line when I do. I'm the best.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

The Bartman Chronicle: ESPN Lacking Class. Again.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

ESPN is going to make a documentary about Steve Bartman.

It's despicable that people still use his name. I have referred to him on this blog a few times, but never by name until now. If ESPN is doing a documentary about him, I don't think my not naming him will protect his anonymity.

Among my pet peeves in sports journalism is when sportscasters mention him by name. Everyone knows who they mean, and just calling him "the fan" would suffice, but instead they use his name- and perpetuate his feelings of alienation. Everyone remembers his name, but I doubt many people would recognize him on the street- so using his name is actually doing a lot of damage to the guy and it's not necessary to use it.

I'm as big of a Cubs fan as anyone you'll ever meet, but that guy has had enough. I wish he hadn't done what he did, but it didn't legitimately affect the game. It isn't as though Wrigley Field briefs fans sitting near the playing field to not reach for foul balls that are possibly catchable by Cubs. It's a ballgame. They sell alcohol and let any paying customer in- it's not the row of the emergency exit on an airplane- there is no briefing or screening process. Most people's arguments against the fan's actions are, "He should've known better. You don't interfere with the home team." I think a good bit of that is because he is a relatively young adult male. If it were a 65 year old female tourist from Kenya or Thailand, do you think the ire for the actions would be the same? I don't.

While a lot of people wished the fan knew better, we have no reasonable expectation in the intelligence of the public at large. How often do you seem something annoying in public you wish you could change? A bad driver who fails to use their turn signal while cutting you off in traffic, the moron standing in the doorway at the coffee shop- which is the only place you really shouldn't stand, the waitress who forgot to put your salad dressing on the side, the guy sitting next to you on the train screaming into his mobile phone, the blogger who uses too many examples of annoyances, etc.

I assume that strangers are not intelligent, and you shouldn't either. And you know what? I am proven correct at an alarming rate. Maybe "the fan" is intelligent, but had a momentary lapse of good judgement. It sucks, but is it shocking? Do we have the right to be disappointed that a guy at a sports game, where they sell alcohol, did something unintelligent? How is that surprising?

Since ESPN (along with Fox) beat us over the head Curse of the Bambino, and it is no longer profitable to exploit a dead "curse", ESPN needs profit from the misery of another fan and fanbase. So great job for making a documentary about him, ESPN and profiting from his pain and the pain of Cubs fans. With all of the positive sports-related stories that you could possibly document, you went out of your way to focus on one of the (comparatively) few stories of sports ruining someone's life. That's awesome because I was getting tired of all of that uplifting news that has been saturating the media lately.










I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Finally the Photo All of You Have Been Pestering Me About

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

The subject of this portrait of dudeity might surprise you. The link takes you to a pic of a naked person. You are warned.

hint: It looks like this, only without Frankie Muniz's face over Joe DiMaggio's dingles.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Daily Racing Form EIC Steven Crist

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

He makes some excellent points here. Glad to see someone else is disappointed that no one is broadcasting this awesome weekend of horse racing. This article at DRF.com can be found here.

TV networks conspicuous by their absence
By Steven Crist

SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y. - What a first weekend of August for racing: The gelding, filly, and colt who won this year's Kentucky Derby, Preakness, and Belmont Stakes are all in action, heading for a possible showdown in the Travers; the 15-length winner of the world's richest race, the Dubai World Cup, makes his return to American soil; it's opening weekend at Saratoga, and the second weekend at Del Mar, the two biggest race meetings of the summer.

It's an extraordinary collection of talent, a showcase for the closest thing racing has to household names, and a fabulous opportunity to capitalize on the strong television ratings for this year's Triple Crown and the emergence of Rachel Alexandra as a national heroine. Instead, not a single one of these races is being broadcast by ABC, CBS, NBC, or ESPN.

Existing racing fans will probably figure out a way to see most of the racing, on simulcasts at the track or teletheatres or if they have access to TVG, which is unavailable in some major markets, including New York City. But for casual fans, who might have been attracted to the game by major national network coverage of this year's unusually compelling Triple Crown stories, it amounts to a blackout.

The most disappointing absentee from any coverage is ESPN, which promised a major new commitment to racing when it gained the rights to the Breeders' Cup more than two years ago. Since then, ESPN has has done little except slash its racing coverage to less than half of what it used to be before that new commitment.

This weekend may well represent an all-time low in racing's national visibility. Even as coverage has waned over the last two decades, there was a good chance that someone would find a way to get national exposure for a winner of a Triple Crown race, much less for a clash between two of them such as the meeting of Rachel Alexandra and Summer Bird in Sunday's Haskell. The appearance by Mine That Bird in Saturday's West Virginia Derby would, just a few years ago, have been a virtually automatic broadcast for ESPN.

Beyond ESPN's virtual abandonment of racing, it's unclear where the blame lies or what could be done differently. The invisibility of this weekend's racing reflects the vacuum of authority or coordinated power at the top of the sport. The National Thoroughbred Racing Association has much less money to work with than when it was founded a decade ago. The Breeders' Cup, running an operating deficit this year, is using its scarce marketing and television funds on fall races closer to its own events that it needs to promote.

In addition, individual tracks are playing off the various account-wagering companies such as TVG and HRTV against one another, taking whatever money they can get for exclusive rights to their top races in the absence of national coverage. Even if some organization in racing had the authority or willpower to seek wider coverage of this weekend's racing, it's unclear whether they could get the rights to these events away from simulcasting networks that the average sports fan has never heard of.

Bigger races at smaller tracks a growing trend

Mine That Bird is the first Kentucky Derby winner to race in a West Virginia Derby, which speaks to both his individual circumstances and to looming changes on the national racing landscape.

Since Mine That Bird is a gelding, his connections can have more fun with him than a group trying to establish his value as a stallion might. They can barnstorm with him instead of running in the races with the most prestige and tradition or highest grades.

But we also could be seeing the start of a shift in where those richest and most prestigious races are being run, and it's directly tied to the widening gaps between the haves and have-nots on the "alternative gaming" (slot machine) front. Tracks with slots, such as Mountaineer - which is running races worth $770,000 Saturday in addition to the $750,000 West Virginia Derby - are putting on stakes races with soaring purses that are going to attract better horses and higher grades in the years to come. Mine That Bird's emergence from the $800,000 Sunland Park Derby in New Mexico will probably make that race a Grade 3 next year. Philadelphia Park frequently puts on rich races that will climb the graded-stakes ladder once eligible.

With Hollywood Park's future uncertain, and tracks in California, Kentucky, and Florida cutting back on racing dates and stakes purses without slots, we could be looking at a very different set of "premier" tracks and races a decade from now.

Can the Hitler "shock" References Stop Now?

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Is anything Hitler really still shocking? Isn't that getting a little tired? I almost wrote about that last month but decided against it, then I just saw that Twitter-celebrity Roseanne BarrArnold just did a photo spread as Hitler to "shock" us all and take her seriously again.

When Mel Brooks first spoofed Hitler, it was shocking. Springtime for Hitler? Shocking. Everything else? Played out. The cheap shock that Hitler provides is like when "modern artists" do something anti-George Bush. We get it. You aren't the first to take the fangs out of them, so don't act heroic when you do- they don't have fangs anymore. Please stop.

While I am fully aware that the wounds that Hitler created still run deep- plenty Holocaust survivors are still with us as are, Holocaust orphans, and more tangentially- survivors of WWII casualties. I fully understand that Hitler could still rightfully be a touchy subject for them. And rightfully so. But is Hitler imagery really shocking anymore? I'm almost 30, and my Dad wasn't conceived during Hitler's lifetime.

German people are great. Contemporary Germany is afraid of having a positive national identity, out of fear that it will reflect some sick form of misdirected Nazi pride. They hate Hitler more than Americans do- trust me. They don't like visiting America and having moron Americans say, "Germany huh? What, are you a Nazi? Ha ha, I'm just kidding."

It isn't that Hitler imagery is not funny or shocking because it's too raw or the cliched "too soon". Hitler imagery is about as shocking today as that of Chairman Mao, Pol Pot, or Idi Amin, or Stalin. We get it. They sucked. They're long gone. It's over. It's about as funny as a human with two legs. We get it. Not funny.

Great artists have shocked us- Marcel Duchamp, Pablo Picasso, Stravinsky, and even Elvis, all shocked the masses. Equally shockingly, they didn't shock us using half-century old imagery- they used their artistic genius to create something new- that happened to shock us.


Tangentially related: Can people please stop trying to get away with referencing Hitler and not expecting controversy? I don't mean in the artistic realm- those people that go for shock and fail woefully, and conformist-ically short. I mean those in the professional realm, when college football coaches say things like, "Just because we failed doesn't mean we didn't have a plan and try our hearts out- heck, Hitler had a plan, tried his heart out and failed."

They think the references are not controversial, just historical fact. Yet too many artists still think they're shocking us. It's time the artists should take a cue from the professional morons.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

3 Quick Thoughts

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

1. I just read that Erin Andrews called 911 and the tape was released. She called 911 because a car was parked in front of her house in her gated community. Apparently she felt that those people were papparazzi, so called to have them moved. That all makes sense. But I remember her telling someone in an interview (I think it was Bill Simmons's podcast, but I'm not sure) that her favorite website is TMZ. And that is how karma works.

2. One of the first thoughts I had after hearing that Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz had cloudy tinkle was how disappointed John Kerry must be. While on the campaign trail in 2004, Kerry famously told a reporter that his favorite Red Sox player was, the non-existent, "Manny Ortez".

3. If you're filming a movie and your budget is under $40, does that jogger dude/babydaddy from Juno automatically join the cast? Or is your indie script green-lighted only after you promise to include him? Does he just show up on the first day of filming after having found you?

Update: I guess I had more to say on the second topic than I initially thought.

I really don't care that the Big Ortizer flunked his wiz quiz. It was in 2003 when it was agreed upon that the players' identity would never be disclosed, there was no penalty for a positive test, and it was just for information gathering purposes. It wasn't illegal in 2003.

When I realized that I don't care that the Big Ortizer tested positive, I was surprised at how little I cared. Then I realized that my apathy was twofold.

Fold #1) It isn't shocking. He was a slugger during that era, and his power numbers fell off the table this year. That raises flags. Even Red Sox fans speculated that he used PED's.

2) I tend to associate steroid useage with "unfair advantage", and I tend to associate Red Sox with, among other things, "Yankees". So when I heard that he was juicing one of my first thoughts was, "Oh man, doesn't this necessarily taint their 2004 World Series? Wait, was it steroids alone that broke the Curse of the Bambino?? Maybe they never should have beaten the Yankees in record-setting fashion in the 2004 ALCS!!" before I even finalized that thought, I woke up and remembered what baseball era this is. The 2004 Yankoff team that they beat included known juicers Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi. And those are just the ones we know for sure. Sadly, in this instance Papi's use of the juice merely made for a LEVEL playing field.

3) Even though I don't feel this taints their series with Yankees, that doesn't mean that Ortiz's career numbers aren't tainted. Of course they are. I'm sure his success came at the expense of countless pitchers who were playing within the rules, and maybe the Red Sox didn't even deserve to be in the 2004 ALCS.

In a way, his ascent to stardom mirrors Clemens's prolonged success- they both rose from their ashes after being discarded- Clemens by Boston, and Papi with Minnesota. It has been reported that Clemens began using once he was traded to Toronto, due at least partly, to make Boston regret his release, thereby preserving his ego. It's possible Papi did something similar upon arriving in Boston.

The point of all of this is that Bud Selig is a shitty comissioner.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Synthetic Horse Racing Surfaces Not Working Out So Well

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


I shouldn't have to preface my article with this but I will anyway- I take no pleasure from any harm done to race horses. I'd rather be wrong than see any get hurt.

That being said, as you know by now, several *coughCalifornia* horse racing tracks have recently dug up their dirt tracks to replace them with a dirt-like synthetic surface that is much more unlike dirt than anyone initially though. Their intentions for doing this were altruistic though- they felt that this new surface would make for a safer running surface for the horses.

After several horses broke down (the industry word for breaking a leg while racing), pressure from both outside and from within horse racing mounted to make the sport safer for its horses. Everyone agreed that was necessary. Horse racing insiders knew it was time to take a long look in the mirror and drastically tighten up lax drug policies. Drug laws were becoming increasingly loose as the years went on, and eventually enough was enough for the horses- they started breaking down. Too much muscle on too small of a frame (have you seen how small their ankles are?), and too many injured horses running full bore having no idea they were injured- thanks to drugs.

Many tracks took the more shameful, but more PR-friendly way out this PR mess- to prove their commitment to equine safety they voluntarily tore up their dirt tracks and installed, a newer, therefore safer track surface. Nevermind that Japan tracks have 90% less breakdowns despite a dirt surface, because they allow virtually 0 drug usage.

Tracks putting in these new surfaces began a PR movement that I think would be similar to a politician proposing tighter laws on drunk driving- you're really not free to speak out against the changes because you'll be branded as cold-hearted. If you're against stiffer drunk driving penalties you're obviously in favor of drunk driving, and if you oppose new, synthetic surfaces (thereby making them superior, clearly), you obviously care more about upholding tradition and profit than you do equine safety.

So with the current state equine safety going through a PR nightmare, no one stood up to loudly protest their implementation (with the only exception I am aware of, of Andy Beyer).

The new surfaces being built in absence of the cooperation of tightened drug rules, has resulted in little change. May I present Exhibit A-Z.

It's a shame. 6 horses died in 10 days at Del Mar racetrack, one of the jewels of American horse racing and the most prominent track to feature a synthetic surface. One of the horses broke down on the grass course, mind you, and that can happen anywhere, but a horse is more likely to breakdown as a result of drug use than as a result of what its running on.

The story doesn't end there, however. A rationale (but uninformed) person could then ask, "Ok, so they tried to save the horses and it didn't work out. That's too bad, but at least they tried. Did an honest attempt to help horse safety really put you out?"

In a word, yes.

Firstly, and much more importantly, it was a sham in the first place, and I'd be willing to bet the "equine-atarians" who were behind this were aware of it the whole time. Secondly, the new surfaces have hurt the sport (I wrote about it here, among other occasions). California's leading trainer, Bob Bafffert, moved his stable out of California, home of a few synthetic tracks, to New York because he didn't like how the surfaces impacted his horses performances on the track. No one in California could argue that a Hall of Fame trainer in his prime leaving their state has helped California horse racing.

Furthermore, its just an alien surface. We now have grass, dirt and synthetic surfaces. Regular readers of this column are well aware of my frustration over Zenyatta and Rachel Alexandra possibly never racing head-to-head. This are the two best mares since Ruffian, AND they're at their peaks at the same time! This should be outstanding for the sport, but instead it has almost the opposite effect- it just frustrates people. Zenyatta is a synthetic specialist, and Rachel a dirt horse. If synthetic tracks weren't around, Zenyatta would be a dirt horse and they'd run against each other. Now, both are afraid to try a new surface and lose to their other horse on her "home" surface and the worst part is- I really can't blame either horse's connections. I'd do the same if I owned them. Sure I want to see them race one another, but I can't blame the owners.

Another problem its causing is a decrease in betting on horses who are "crossing over". The Kentucky Derby is run on dirt. Many Derby entrants are California horses trying dirt for the first time in the Derby. Since bettors don't know what to make of them- they don't bet them. That's bad for the tracks. It's also bad for the horse players both ways- if a solid California horse, raised on synthetics loses in the Derby, they say, "I knew a horse can't win the Derby on his fist try over dirt." and if a synthetic horse were to win, the bettors who didn't bet on it because its a "synthetic" horse would angrily say, "How the hell can you expect me to bet on a synthetic runner? Finally one of them wins, and I was supposed to bet on it after I just saw 20 of them shit the bed in previous years? I'm never betting on the Derby again" And that hurts the tracks and the bettors. That saga gets far uglier when the Breeder's Cup is run on a synthetic surface- which stupidly was last year, and unforgivably will be again this year. Suddenly the specialists on the new surface, which does no good for horse safety, shouldn't even exist, and is on only a handful of tracks, have the advantage over every other horse. The result? Apathetic or angry bettors at best, apathy at worst. Running the Breeder's Cup over synthetic surface has miraculously, made horse racing less popular.

I am sorry that the horse at Del Mar died. Lets not make their deaths be in vain- tighten drug laws, and put dirt tracks back. Do what was right for the horses all along, and also what was right for the bettors and the fans all along.











I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Your Tax Dollars, uh, Hard at Work

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter


A Goldman Sachs attorney got his "solicit a 15 year old for sex" on.

No word yet on how the cookies tasted in Chris Hansen's living room.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

New Feature on WhereAwesomeHappens That Ought to Bolster Your Self Esteem

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

On the margin on the right you'll see a new "Search" feature. You can type in any word or phrase and it will show you a link to any article in which that word or phrase has been used.

How does that help your self esteem? Type in a crude word or phrase, notice how many times I've used it in 11 months of blogging, and be thankful that this isn't your blog.

Examples: Nutsack, Scrotum, Baby Jesus, monkey, drunk, fat, buns, ass, wap, "drop anchor", plop, weed, gay, dingles, obesity and "Uncle Joey", just to name a few.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

BBC America Hilarity

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Note: I'm typing this while watching the episode, live-blog style. Pardon the typos, poor grammar and the like.

If you ever watched BBC America's, You Are What You Eat, you know what I'm talking about.

The hostess of the show falls right in line with the British stereotype of reality show hostess alongside Simon Cowell, the Supernanny and the Weakest Link "lady". While I have no reason to believe she's a fighter, she is a lover- a tough lover.

In the few episodes I've seen she looks at the project/contestant/subject's tongue and then is able to analyze a lot about their overall health based on its appearance. It's funnier than it sounds. Even more hilarious, and I swear this is true, she analyzes, personally, the stool samples of the subjects. Seriously. After analyzing their plop, she then uses its conclusions to berate the, um, sample providers, in front of their family. Seriously. She's not afraid to comment on its foul odor, either.

On the episode I'm currently watching, she has taken on two women, one of which is a former model. While talking about where their diets went horribly wrong, the host and narrator informed us about how "...she went from modeling to waddling".

This show has something for everyone: People interested in diet information, judgememtal people, those interested in two grown women talking about plop, pointing-and-laughing, watching rude hosts, etc. That's basically every type of person I can think of.

Then they lay out on a buffet table the entire food intake each person consumes during the average week- it's always staggering. One lady consumes 4,600 calories a day- a full 2,000 more than the RDA for women her age.

The host just referred to the pair of subjects as "lardy ladies"

Now on the show, is the time when the host makes her subjects eat a healthy meal for the first time, tailored to their dietary needs. The subjects find this first meal somewhere between repulsive and inedible 100% of the time. This time is no exception, they laugh off it's repulsiveness and both avoid eating the beans in their salad- much to the displeasure of the hostess who is watching from afar.

LOL. The teaser before commercial break the hostess says to the camera, "They aren't taking this seriously. When they get together, they don't take it seriously. My plan for tomorrow is to divide and conquer them.". Then we see the hostess has sat the former model on a regal-looking throne and has her wearing a sash and a tiara and then says, "Now look in the mirror." and the former model cries and says, "Why would you do this to me?"!!! Is this show awesome or what??

We're back. Our former model is a boozehound, apparently. LOL, "our former beauty queen has traded in her hourglass figure for a wine glass."

Now we see what the mirror crying was all about. The hostess had her sit in a makeup chair for a while for what the former-model thought was a regular makeup makeover session. Instead they painted liverspots on her and made her face up to look like that of an old, obese alcoholic. The hostess was appealing to her vanity- apparently with success in the form of the, "Why would you do this to me?". I think this tactic worked and the hostess has broken her spirit. And by "spirit" I mean "gleeful pursuit of obesity". Oh hell yes- they're playing REM's "Everybody Hurts" during her time of realization. This show has it all. Now she's washing the makeup off, enjoying her George Bailey-esque second chance.

Enough of the model, time to work on Sonia. Her vice? Ice cream. Sonia isn't taking things seriously enough for our hostesses liking.

So the way to do let her know she's serious? In a graveyard where a coffin is consctructed out of chocolate, and in it is the amount of ice cream she eats in a year, complete with cones and wrappers thrown in with it. The hostess explains she's killing herself with all that ice cream. Christine started sobbing and saying that she's afraid that she'll die early like her mother did- who died when she was only 12. Sonia is broken too.

Just made a poop reference that I will omit.

And another.

Now the hostess has turned the "lardy ladies" loose. Before they were living in a house with her, and subject to her rules. But now they're allowed to go back on their own, and incorporate what they learned and tried to get their families used to their new healthy lifestyle.

Sonia's (non-obese) sons are not interested in her newfangled "rabbit food", nor does her husband, or the huge mole on his neck.

Christine the model lives by herself and appears to be startlingly gung-ho about her lifestyle. We've just received word that Christine will face a lot of dietary temptation at work, with everyone eating all kinds of junk food around her.

This just in: Sonia is feeling stressed about the new lifestyle. So the hostess decides to visit. LOL, the hostess surprises her, and when Sonia sees her and goes to hug her, the hostess says, "Air kiss! I don't want to get near the cold sores!"- then we learn that Sonia has developed cold sores, likely as a result of stress.

Another surpriser: The hostess invited Sonia and herself over for an alcohol-free cocktail party (e.g. fruit smoothies drank out of cocktail glasses and getting all dressed up).

LOL another fat pun. The chicks start to karaoke and the hostess, while narrating, says, "Lookout Simon Cowell, this is the X-tra Large Factor" (Simon hosts a UK show called "X-Factor"). Then after the party when our prissy hostess is getting ready to hit the hay, she pulls out a camping, mummy-style sleeping bag to entomb herself in because she doesn't want to catch their "germs, or whatever else they've got floating around out here". Classy.

6 Weeks Later

Christine doesn't miss the booze, all the bread she once ate, and enjoys excercising.
Ohhh, on the "after" photo shoot she's looking sassy, going from size 20 to 14. And used to weigh 14 stone 12, whatever that means. Now she weighs 12 stone 12. Whatever that means.

Sonia also went from size 20 to 14 and lost 6 inches on her waist. She lost a stone and a half of weight, whatever that means.


The moral of the story: If you talk rudely about obese people behind their backs and analyze their plop, you'll be doing them a favor because it will make them lose weight.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

First Day of Racing at Saratoga

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

Let's get some links out of the way:

NYRA.com

Starting at 11:45am ET the above link will be home to a daily handicapping seminar for that day's card, hosted by the always informative and entertaining Andy Serling. I would recommend it. update: get it here

DRF.com's Saratoga Page

Andy Serling's Twitter

Steven Crist's Blog- he's the editor of the Daily Racing Form and probably the most influential bettor in America. He is also the first guest on Andy Serling's show on Wednesday.


It's gonna be an awesome season.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Soriano Will Get Plunked Tonight

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, AndyDisco on Twitter

After Alfonso Soriano did some extended-edition showboating following a walkoff home run last night, look for Houston's Roy Oswalt to plunk him. Oswalt has some professionalism to his plunkings- you can expect it betwixt the knees and shoulders, nothing dirty.

My question then is: With the Cubs being the home team tonight, should Ryan Dempster hit an Astro (like Carloss Lee, who homered last night and has plenty of padding to absorb the impact of a Dempster fastfall to the thigh) in the top of the first in the hopes that both benches get warned? If he hits Lee, there's an increased liklihood that both benches will be warned, since he hit the aforementioned home run last night.

update: For all you fellow lovers of A Christmas Story....

Mom: "Whatcha cryin' for?"
TR: "Oswalt's gonna plunk, Fonzy (Soriano's unofficial nickname)."
Mom: "I promise you, Oswalt is not going to Plunk Fonzy"


















2nd update: I was either wrong, or just being sarcastic. You'll never the truth.




I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Why aren't more pitching changes made in the middle of an at-bat? That would put the batter at a huge disadvantage.

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

I guess my headline kinda took care of it all.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

The Most Important News Possible: Michael Jackson Inspired Milton Bradley

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Wow. Check it out here. This is probably the least necessary article of all time.

It also contains one of the best lines ever to take out of context:

"....by the time I started understanding and realizing it as a young kid, I had the glove, I had the jacket, I did the whole "Beat It" routine for my sister's friends when they came over to the house for entertainment."


-Milton Bradley








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Two More Articles on Goldman Sachs

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

1. 10 members of the House of Representatives sent a letter to the Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, asking him to explain why the let Goldman gamble with taxpayer money.

2. Will holding Goldman Sachs' feet to the fire be the first stop for the Elliot Spitzer comeback train?









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

ESPN Has a List of People Banned From Their Network

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

Nothing fosters dissemination of information like banning people providing information. What if every other journalist in the country "acted against" ESPN and wound up on the list? I'd like to see that.

Anyone who thinks that ESPN is a sports information network and isn't just concerned with entertainment and protecting those who protect them, is sadly mistaken. Between burying the news Ben Roethlisberger's civil case, and their double-standard of Erin Andrews coverage (i.e. no one can profit from Erin Andrews attractiveness but them), their true colors are shining brighter than ever.

They are well on their way to being the Al Jazeera of sports. Congratulations, ESPN.






I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Rachel Alexandra to Skip the Breeder's Cup

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

The news is disappointing but I applaud her connections for skipping it. The Breeder's Cup shouldn't be held over a synthetic track in the first place, and this just reinforces that. It would be a shame for Rachel to run over a foreign surface and underachieve- it would tarnish her record (justifiably or not), and would alienate fans who dislike betting on races run over synthetic surfaces.

Of course it is possible that she would run over the surface and win. Sadly though, Rachel has too much to lose in a possible showdown with Zenyatta, and cannot risk it over a surface she has never tried. That would be like asking Usain Bolt to run an olympic race over a gravel surface- he would maybe consider it if he were less successful or if the stakes were not quite as high- but why should such an accomplished runner be forced to alter their style to conform to anyone else's?

In a related story- you'll be shocked to know that the Breeder's Cup has been stricken by financial trouble. Huh. Who could have predicted that?

It's almost like if the Super Bowl were played on sand instead of a football field. Imagine the shock you'd feel when you read reports that less people were interested in watching the game, and far less were interested in betting on the game. It would just be a huge shock because it's such an outstanding idea- messing with tradition.








I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Who Looks More Like Eazy E in Their Molester Sunglasses?

(photography courtesy of TR Slyder. Shot on Location at Wrigley Field)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com



My money is on the well-bred ivory gentleman.









I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.

Don't Ask Me to Hate This

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com

This is pretty hilarious.













I'm T.R. Slyder, and that's how you Tangueray.