Where Awesome Happens

Lookalikes v. 38.0 Hillary Clinton and Florence Henderson

2010-07-24T09:48:00.006-05:00

That's how I roll.

Nobody Put up a Joel Quenneville Bomb on the Corner of Clark and Wrightwood

2010-07-14T11:09:00.004-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

In this case "Nobody" is a proper noun and is the name of the graffiti artist. This the same tag as I previously blogged about, only on a black background instead of white. I like the new look and it is in the Blackhawk's colors to boot.

Great work, Nobody. The new tag looks great.

That's how I roll.

Why Horse Racing Tells me That Germany Will Beat Spain

2010-07-07T12:37:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Horse Racing Lesson #1: Recent Form Means Everything

Why it favors Germany: Germany won their last two games, 4-1 and 4-0. Spain won their last two games 1-0 and 1-0 with David Villa scoring both goals. Hmmm, that looks like a pattern, does it not? Germany scores 4 a game, and Spain 1. 1 David Villa goal to be exact. Who on Spain has PROVEN they can beat you if Villa doesn't? No one. Spain may have better passing, a deeper team, and a Euro 2008 and trophy, but zero people find their last two wins more impressive than Germany's.

Horse Racing Lesson #2: The Fewer Changes for a hot Horse/Team, the Better

Why it Favors Germany: This could be a wash, because Mueller is out for Germany as well, but with Spain benching Torres, we don't know how that will disrupt their (delicate) offensive rhythm. What if this throws off David Villa? Who else will score? What if Germany just loads up on Villa and lets the new guy beat them?

Horse racing taught me to take a pass on a horse trying something new for the first time at a high level. For instance, if Rachel Alexandra (a dirt horse) ran on grass against elite company, I would bet against her. If she started running sprints (she prefers longer distances) against elite company, I would bet against her. The only way I'd bet a horse trying something new is if they did so against far lesser competition.

Spain is making a change and it is against elite competition. I'd bet Rachel Alexandra on the grass in an allowance race, but not in the Arlington Million. Sorry, Spain.

You don't change horses midstream, if there is any current.

Horse Racing Lesson #3: History is a Factor, Even if you are Unsure why or how.

I'm in a relative hurry to get this post published before the soccer match starts, so I can't research this as much as I would have liked. But certain trends in horse racing can be hard to ignore. When I first heard about these trends I was very skeptical of them because I couldn't explain them, nor could anyone else. For instance- European horses do disproportionately well in Breeder's Cup grass races, and the Arlington Million. Other than Street Sense, the winner of the Breeder's Cup Juvenile hadn't went on to win the Kentucky Derby in a very, very long time. In the last decade, The Arkansas Derby has produced significantly better horses than the Wood Memorial.

Can I offer some explanations for those trends? Yeah, kinda. But I can't paint the whole picture, and I don't think anyone can. As I've gotten a bit better at horse playing, I have learned that the question is NOT "WHY is that the trend?" the question really is more simply, "WHAT is the trend?" and follow it.

I don't think Native Americans could explain why three-leaved ankle-high plants resulted in an itchy rash after touching it, but they ignored those poison ivy plants, nonetheless.

The World Cup tie-in here is that Germany has the history here. They have won three World Cups and Spain is in their first ever semi-finals. Do I know why that is? No. Can I profit from that phenomenon, without being able to explain it? Yes. Historically, Germany has found a way to win and Spain hasn't. That is objective and is there for us to observe. I don't know exactly what about capsaicin on our papillae makes chili peppers taste hot, but I know they are. That's really all I need to know.

Horse Racing Lesson #4: Don't Be Afraid to Pick Against the Experts

Spain seems to be the slight betting favorite in this match. It's about a half-notch below a "Pick 'em", but Spain is favored, albeit slightly. Alexi Lalas picked Spain over Germany though and he knows a ton more about soccer than I do. Shouldn't I be concerned?

Not really. He cited his rationale for why he thought Spain would win, but he could have picked them for reasons we don't know. Maybe he has a Spanish wife or girlfriend. Maybe he thinks Germany will win, but Spain is the trendier pick to make, and he doesn't want to go against trendy soccer thinking. Maybe he believes Spain will win, and is simply incorrect.

Horse Racing Lesson #5: Avoid the Results That Would Make you Feel the Most Stupid

This sounds stupid, but has been done me a world of good at the track. Here it is in practice. I think Germany will win. They scored 4 goals against an ok England team, 4 goals against a very strong Argentina team, and more impressively, held Argentina to just one (garbage time) goal. They shut down Messi and Tevez, so why can't they shut down only David Villa? If Germany won this game 4-1, wouldn't you think, "Well, yeah. I shoulda seen that coming, both teams were trending in that direction." and you would feel stupid if you took Spain.

Taking Spain, essentially, represents your thinking that Germany will, for some reason, score 3 or 4 goals LESS than usual and Spain will probably score more than they usually have been. Doesn't that seem like a big departure? A lot of trends have to end for that to happen. If you DID assume that, and it didn't happen, wouldn't you feel like kind of a dumbass? Let's go over the 4 possibilities and how I see it.

Your Guess/Actual Winner.......Thoughts afterward

Spain/Spain.....Hot Damn. Spain scored a lot more/Germany scored a lot less than they have been trending, and I predicted that correctly. I know my soccer.

Spain/Germany....Goddamnit. I got talked into Spain. I mean, of course I knew Germany looked unbeatable. I just assumed some trends would do a 180, Germany would randomly suck and Spain would score more goals against Germany than they could muster against Portugal. Any monkey with eyes could tell you that Germany looked to be playing better. I just incorrectly predicted a major trend reversal.

Germany/Spain.... Goddamnit. Can't blame me for that one. Germany's last two games were against solid opponents and they had an 8-1 goal differential. Spain? 2-0 overall goals versus Paraguay and Portugal. I took a stand, bet the on-the-field trends, and ignored a lot of experts and the betting odds. I guess they knew something I didn't afterall. Next time I will have to weight their arguments more.

Germany/Germany...Hot Damn! I told you! I told you! I told you! Germany has too stout of a defense, too creative and multi-faceted of an offense, too much history and no reason to think that train was going to screech to a halt against its will.

What option makes me feel the stupidest? The first one of four, so I have to avoid that in favor of the last one.

We'll see how I do. The game is about to start.

That's how I roll.

I also hope this is real

2010-07-07T01:19:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

This is like a 65 year old version of a down-on-his-luck Uncle Rico, drunk, and recently cut off from unemployment checks. I hope it's real.

Which reminds me of this classic.

That's how I roll.

If This is Real, I Love Lindsay Lohan

2010-07-07T01:11:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

That is allegedly an undoctored photo of Lindsay Lohan in Court today. While the Judge was talking to her. If you look closely enough, you can see that it says, "fuck u" in black ink.

I wonder if she'd do that if she knew she'd be found guilty. Either way, it's awesome. I hope it's real.

That's how I roll.

Lookalikes v 38.0- Nate Silver and the Sklar Brothers

2010-07-07T00:38:00.005-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

FiveThirtyEight.com's uber-statistician, Nate Silver looks like the Jose Oquendo-loving, Sklar Brothers. I can prove it.

see.

That's how I roll.

Anothe Reason to Love TheDirty.com

2010-07-07T00:17:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

The little people in this picture are the "midgets" (their words not mine) from the MicroWrestlingFederation that I saw last year that changed my life.

I bought a shirt that said "I Support Midget Violence"

That's how I roll.

My Full Name

2010-07-06T23:59:00.001-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

People ask me what my real name is. The answer?

T.R. That Gigolo With the Lowest Jiggle Slyder

That's how I roll.

Wait....I'm Confused. So IS There Wildlife in South Africa or not?

2010-07-06T12:55:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

It was a big deal for South Africa to get the 2010 World Cup. They are the first African nation to host a world cup, blah blah blah. So through the World Cup were to come to appreciate South Africa as a nation of the modern world that has arrived. Either get on the South Africa train or be left in its wake.

So with the in mind, why is that every time ESPN does a local, South African interest story that isn't about soccer, is it about wildlife? Zero of those stories that I have seen show even a city a block, a building, a taxi cab, a white collar business, an airport, architecture, mass transit, etc.

The World Cup and ESPN's ethos of, "If you don't believe South Africa is a 1st-World country, how do you explain all of these zebras and lions?", should be updated.

That's how I roll.

Salary Cost for Each Cub win vs. Salary Cost for Each Red Win

2010-07-04T15:16:00.009-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Sorry I didn't use charts for this, but you get the idea.

Through July 4th 2010.

The Cubs starter's 2010 salaries- : Wins

Zamrano: $18,875,000- 3 $6.2 mil/win
Dempster: $13,500,000- 6 2.25 mil/win
Lilly: $13,000,000- 3 4.3 mil/win
Silva: $12,790,000- 8 1.59 mil/win
Wells: $427,000 - 4 106,750/ win

Total: $58,592,000 24 = $2,441,333 per win
_____________________________________________

In contrast. The 2010 Reds' pitchers with the 5 most starts

(# of starts) 2010- Salary- Wins

Arroyo (17) $11,650,000- 8
Harang (17) 12,500,000- 6
Cueto (17) 445,000- 8
Leake (15) N/A- 5 (I counted this as "0" since it can't be a whole lot)
Bailey (9) 418,000 1

Total: 25,013,000- 28- $893,321 per win

That's how I roll.

Most Cubs Play of All Time

2010-07-04T15:03:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Twitter.com/Matodgey, get ready to mention this every time you bash the Cubs for the rest of your life.

In the bottom of the 6th today, Mike Fontenot singled with one out. The Cubs are down 5-3 and the ball is jumping out the stadium. Bob Brenley even said that he has never seen the ball jump out of here during batting practice like it did today.

Geovany Soto gets to the plate. The count goes full, so Fontenot will be running on the pitch. Soto strikes out swinging and has a really ugly swing, he tries to duck his head to avoid Red's pitcher Corky Miller's follow through from his throw down to second. Miller hits his head anyway, resulting in a call of Fontenot automatically being out at second due to batter interference. Double play. Inning over.

To add injury to insult, Soto was lying down after the play and being attended to by Cubs trainers. He would stay in the game however (thank GOD!).

That sums up our season pretty well so far.

That's how I roll.

Celebrate the 4th with a 5th!

2010-07-04T14:13:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Why not? It's to commemorate beating the English. Like you even needed a reason, anyway.

That's how I roll.

Holiday Picture Dump

2010-07-04T13:44:00.014-05:00

That's how I roll.

4th of July

2010-07-04T13:41:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

My favorite 4th of July tradition that no one else knows about:

Blind Item reals from CrazyDaysAndNights.net a new one is posted/revealed every 15 minutes. This is like the Super Bowl Sunday for gossip-ophiles.

That's how I roll.

The Most American Thing Possible

2010-07-04T13:22:00.009-05:00

(note: the above picture is not Anti-American. You'll notice that the upside down flag has an "X" through it, therefore it logically follows that he is protesting the upside down flag, and not the rightside up flag. Ergo, this is patriotic.)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Happy 4th of July everyone. I hope your celebrations of America can be nearly as stereotypical as this one.

Major League Eating Entertains American Troops in Guantanamo.

That's how I roll.

Great Upright Citizen's Brigade Video Page

2010-07-03T11:21:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

That show kicked large quantities of hind quarters. Here are some good video highlights.

That's how I roll.

Show me the Size of Your A-hole, Miroslav Klose!

2010-07-03T11:04:00.009-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Miroslav Klose's post-goal celebration could be a cryptic message denote the size of his rectum.

Pay attention particularly at the :59 second mark. It essentially deciphers Klose's code. Here is one of my favorite sketches from Upright Citizen's Brigade:

Upright Citizens Brigade

Bosco's Foot

www.comedycentral.com

Futurama New Episodes

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Russell Simmon Stand-Up Comedy

here is the hand gesture German striker Miroslav Klose makes after he scores:

m'kay.

Oh, by the way, here is Klose coach, Joachim Low picking his nose and eating it.

P.S.

The comedy sketch above was edited. In the actual episode, after Bosco threatened to put his foot in their a-holes, Moses came out and asked if they like tricks.

Upright Citizens Brigade

Moses' Tricks

www.comedycentral.com

Futurama New Episodes

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Russell Simmon Stand-Up Comedy

That's how I roll.

Y AX Y ?

2010-07-02T14:53:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

The actor who plays Rex Known Do (in Napoleon Dynamite) and Lawrence (Office Space) + Bud Dry = Shweeet.

That's how I roll.

How Could You, Crazy Legs Conti??

2010-07-02T13:26:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

There is a conspiracy theory that calls into question the legitimacy of Crazy Legs Conti's achievements in competitive eating.

It's awesome/fucking terrible.

You'd think you could trust someone named Crazy Legs.

That's how I roll.

Uhhh, That Isn't Surprising. Like, at all.

2010-07-02T12:17:00.004-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

CNN is reporting some kind of irregularity while someone was trying to dock at the International Space Station.

Something went wrong during a Space Docking(NSFW text) ? This news comes as no surprise to any visitor of UrbanDictionary.com. Even success in Space Docking is still, really, really wrong.

Least surprising news ever.

That's how I roll.

Great Sports This Weekend

2010-07-02T11:57:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

1. As the English announcer says, Saturday features a soccer match betwixt, "Argenteener and Jaminee." or Argentina and Germany. That will be a doozy. For Germany. The result will forever send the debate between which God likes more: Sausage or Chimichurri. Today's Brazil/Netherlands game taught me that God prefers marijuana and tulips over thongs and tan accelerator.

2. Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin. You aren't going to drop $60 for it on Pay per view? What's that? You're going to go to Twitter and search, "watch ufc116" and going to find an illegal, free feed on the web? No way, me too. I'm picking Carwin to upset Lesnar due to ring rust. He is a long shot, so a safer bet would be to bet that I learned the phrase "ring rust" about two weeks ago. It's true.

3. I Want Revenge makes his long-awaited debut start since his injury that had him scratch on Derby Day in 2009 as the morning-line favorite (only because Quality Road wasn't entered). He is the 7-5 favorite in Belmont Park's Suburban Handicap (Gr.II) on Saturday where he takes on a 2-1 Regal Ransom, among others.

Here he is kicking hiney in the aforementioned Wood Memorial.

That's how I roll.

If God is so Good, Why Is Mark Brunell Brizoke?

2010-06-29T13:20:00.007-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Ex-NFL QB Mark Brunell filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy.

A few years ago my friend, while working for a high-end suit company, was at a store when Mark Brunell came in and my friend was dealing with him. He said Brunell is as Jesus-tastic as one can be, and uses his perceived position with god to be an a-hole. My friend, who had zero reason to lie to me, told me this years ago and said that Brunell was 1. just a prick, and 2. would bless people. Like literally make the sign of the cross and act like he was bestowing some sacred gift upon them. It seemed like Brunell himself felt Christ-like and was gifting everyone with his sanctity- whether they wanted it or not. My friend it was condescending, unwelcome, creepy, annoying, unintelligent and just plain rude and annoying. Apparently everyone there found his pious philanthropy to be selfish and just making a scene and was acting like the most annoying Bishop of all time.

Apparently he forgot to bless his bank account. It makes one wonder why Jesus doesn't bankrupt every non-believer. Or why, if Mark Brunell truly did have a hotline to God as he seemed to feel he did, does he have zero legacy in the NFL.

How about this Brunell, how about anyone with an asset/debt ratio of LESS than NEGATIVE $19.2 mil, blesses YOU instead of you blessing them. Because, let's face it, Jesus obvious likes that person a lot more than he likes you. But if/when Brunell meets someone with debts of $19.201 or higher, he is then allowed to bless them.

Thanks for coming out, Mark.

That's how I roll.

Random Analogy

2010-06-29T00:57:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Goldman Sachs: short selling :: seeing a crime: instead of helping, you grab a camera, take pictures then sell the pictures to the newspaper.

Agree or disagree?

That's how I roll.

Lookalikes v. 37.0 Carlos Tevez and Bubba the Cave Duck

2010-06-27T18:00:00.011-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

It's not so much that they are a spitting image of one another, but whenever I see Carlos Tevez he reminds me of Bubba the Cave Duck. He has a certain, how shall I say, Land Before Time quality. You may need to keep an open mind for this one. Maybe they are more kindred spirits than lookalikes, but you get what I'm going for.

And Bubba, the red haired cave duck.

That's how I roll.

I Told You Germany was Awesome

2010-06-27T11:32:00.009-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter
England : 2010 World Cup :: Tim Henman : Every Wimbledon. Wussy, yet rabidly embraced by fans which lead to unrealistic expectations, humiliation. Thanks for coming out. I'm done respecting Wayne Rooney's international game until he scores a World Cup goal. Or at least puts a decent shot on goal. I can't even recall a good scoring chance he had. England wasted EVERYONE's time this World Cup.

That being typed, Germany looked outstanding. I'm still sticking by them to win it all, and I'm still standing by Mesut Oezil looking like Peter Lorre.
Germany is still the most poised-looking team in the front third I have watched in this World Cup. They get eerily calm in the zone, stay patient and create great scoring opportunities. Even when the opportunity isn't great, Klose finds a way to push it past the keeper or Podolski just muscles it through. Youthful exuberance, power, finesse, skill, momentum, maturity, skill, they seem to have all the physical tools and their coaching has been unassailable thus far to boot.

England looked more like Lynndie England than England.

That's how I roll.

The United States Led for 3 Minutes and 15 Seconds for the Entire World Cup

2010-06-26T16:07:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

That isn't going to get it done. Unless by "it" you mean "the cry and wap", because it will certainly result in doing the cry and wap after the game is over.

That's how I roll.

The Skillz to Slang The Grillz v. 2.0

2010-06-26T12:53:00.000-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

All American Grillz from CRO on Vimeo.

That's how I roll.

Dear Carlos Zambrano, You are Fat. Sincerely, TR Slyder.

2010-06-26T09:40:00.008-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

-Carlos Zambrano is not even the best fat, Venezuelan-born pitcher on the Cubs named Carlos. Carlos Silva is. Zambrano isn't even the second best Cubs pitcher named Carlos: Carlos Marmol is better than him as well.

- He makes $19 million a year and is fat. That tells me literally everything I need to know about him. If he's going to have a meltdown, maybe he can melt down his waistline.

- If he got screamed at/punched every time he sucked on the field, maybe he wouldn't be a fat has-been.

-He was screaming at Derrek Lee. The same Derek Lee that has a World Series ring, THREE gold gloves and is an exemplary citizen and ball player. No one has saved more runs over Zambrano's career than Derrek Lee. To further the stupidity, Lee has been slumping all season long and really doesn't need to get screamed at by anyone, much less by the only Cub (other than Aramis Ramirez) having a crappier season.

- In 2009 Zambrano had to leave a few games due to muscle cramping. He doesn't like drinking water and would drink coffee and Red Bull before games. In other words, he would DEhydrate himself before playing a sport in the summertime while wearing pants and refuse to re-hydrate. He was being paid $19 million at the time.

-After punching his catcher in 2007, the catcher got traded.
- There is a 100% chance that he has the skid-markiest underwear of any Cub.

- Due to his sucking, he was relegated to the bullpen in 2010. Despite being paid $19 million (more than some team's entire starting rotation), he was not good enough to make his own team's starting rotation.

-In a related story, the Cubs have the highest average ticket price in the major leagues, despite being 9 games under .500 and in 4th place in the lowly NL Central. They are 8.5 games out of first place. And 7 games out of last place.

That's how I roll.

Lookalikes v. 36.0 Patrick Patterson and Roger Mayweather

2010-06-24T19:37:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

NBA player (though not drafted yet at time of publication) and Floyd Mayweather Jr.'s Uncle/trainer look a lot alike.

That's how I roll.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

2010-06-23T14:57:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I use a service called StatCounter to track my web traffic. It tells me the basics like the # of visitors, their ISP, location, if they right-clicked any images and downloaded them, which website they came from to arrive here (e.g. Google), etc.

I track the traffic and to see which posts, if any, seem to be particularly popular, but I don't pay a lot of attention to that stuff overall. But today I found an interesting visit to my blog.

I noticed that the Internet Service Provider for this visitor was "United States Senate" in the District of Columbia. This wasn't shocking because I have gotten hits from them before, and the House of Representatives, and even the Supreme Court. But what was eye catching is that they arrived via Google because they Googled, "Dana Bash Bitch".

In 2008 I wrote this article about CNN reporter Dana Bash, but did NOT use the word "bitch" in my article. It's good to know that our Senators are worried about the important issues and not frivolities like warS, an oil leak, or recession.

That's how I roll.

Why The Common Vuvuzela Apology is Stupid

2010-06-23T11:38:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Every conversation about the vuvezela I've heard from World Cup talking heads goes like this:

"Boy, those vuvuzela horns sure are annoying. But I guess that's the custom here in South Africa and we are guests to this host nation so we may as well get used to their customs. When in Rome..."

That rationale forgets what the word "host" at least SHOULD imply: graciousness and empathy. I live alone and I will be honest with you, when I am home alone I burp out loud. Have I ever audibly passed gas while no one was around? No comment. Sometimes When when I get home after a long day I take my shoes off right in my entry way and don't put them away until hours later when I feel like. It isn't unheard of for me to watch television in only my underpants. A lot of times when I shower I don't bring my change of clothes into the shower with me, but instead I walk from my shower to my room nude to find some clean clothes.

But I never do any of those things when a guest is over. That's part of being a host. If I were like South Africa, I would do all of those annoying things when I had guests over and when they look perturbed I would simply say, "You are in MY apartment, after all."

It reminds me of a story my cousin told me. He was at a Stop n Shop grocery store in Connecticut where he lived and several people there witnessed a grubby-lookin dude reaching into the fruit salad bar, taking out lemon wedges, sucking the juice from them, and putting them back in the container. When someone tracked down an employee to complain about this the response from the employee was, "Oh, he does that all the time.".

That's how I roll.

Awesome Joel Quenneville Graffiti on Diversey Ave.!

2010-06-22T19:21:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Update: It was done by Nobody.. Literally, the name signed to the piece on the left side is "nobody." see for yourself here in a better shot I took today. I like the Odyssey reference in the title. Great work nobody! Can anyone email or tweet me some info on the artist? Thanks.

I was in a hurry and didn't have time to catch the name of the artist, but I will check it out again and post the name signed to the work. But this piece is fucking dope!

That's how I roll.

Solution to Flopping in Soccer

2010-06-21T14:09:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Soccer players flopping/diving/embellishing/simulating (as the euros call it) sucks. Every single person agrees except for the players. This has been the case for as long as I have watched soccer and for some reason soccerophiles think it is an unfixable problem.

Here is how to fix it. Have a team of officials review the games immediately after they end. If a player's flopping resulted in another player getting unnecessarily carded, the offending flopper will have to sit out the next game (or a half of the next game).

Since the review of the play would take place after the game is over, as opposed to an official timeout like the NFL does, it wouldn't slow down the game any, which soccerophiles are afraid of. Also under my scenario, the punishment would fit the crime. If a player flops and a foul is called, no harm done (or very little). But if the floppee gets a card, then the flopper has inflicted some damage- especially if it is a player's second yellow card (double especially if both cards resulted from flopping).

My system's post-game review works well too because the call comes not from referees on the field, wherever they may be, but instead it comes essentially from Big Brother. A player is probably correct in thinking they can fool a referee who is 30 yards away, but they'd think again about flopping when they know that a team of officials with 45 different television cameras at various heights, angles and zoom capabilities and all day long to get the call right.

People behave differently when they know cameras are watching.

How would this system not work? Why would a soccer purist not support this?

That's how I roll.

John Wooden Wouldn't Approve of Obama's Handling of the BP Oil Leak

2010-06-21T01:26:00.005-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

After John Wooden's death I saw a re-run of his interview with Tavis Smiley from 2005
(I wish I could embed the video, but I can't). Like I always am after hearing Wooden speak, I was impressed. My favorite part of the interview was at the 7:40 mark when Smiley asked him what is wrong with most leaders today. "I think many drive instead of lead", Wooden responded and Smiley asked him to clarify that a bit. Wooden needed a second to regroup his thoughts and think of a way to articulate a different way to phrase it. "The driver will stay behind with a whip saying 'Get going!', and a leader will be out front with a banner saying 'Follow me'."

I thought that was awesome. I thought about it today while reading more criticism of Obama's handling of the BP leak. All of the criticism really comes down to his oval office speech being more, "Get going", than, "follow me".

That's how I roll.

World Cup Corprolalia

2010-06-18T17:45:00.010-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

- It seems like the 2010 World Cup is becoming a lot like the NCAA men's basketball tournament has been lately. Since kids are leaving college ball increasingly early, the smaller schools have pulled a lot more upsets. The reason is that the smaller schools graduate more of their players and that team is likely to have a cohesive team that is battle tested, has veteran leadership and oftentimes, has played together for a few years. When it comes to crunch time, the battle-tested, savvy veteran teams seem to be doing better against the favored, high-flying youngsters. It seems as though team cohesiveness really does count for something.

England's poor 2010 World Cup showing supports this theory. Algeria had no business tying them, but they did. One reason for England's slump is that they haven't played together. They're basically an all-star team and are playing against actual teams- albeit, teams that are less talented (so far). No professional soccer players play more games in a given year than English Premier League players. All of that club ball is cutting into National Team practices, film sessions, etc. A similar case could be made for France and Spain as well.

The upsets that have taken place have all benefited cohesive teams who lack multiple premier league players with club ball obligations, and victimized the teams with the most marquee talent.

- An investigation should be undertaken to look into how the referee in the U.S. vs. Solvenia screwed up as badly as he did. It looked like he had an interest in keeping the goal total low.

- I'm standing by Germany despite their wonky loss today. Miro Klose getting sent off like 10 minutes into the game kind of tinkled on their offense. So the kids got a baptism by fire and played on their own (kinda poorly). Michael Ballack would have helped there.

- England looks humiliatingly bad.

- One team has a dude named Shabalala. I really hope a racehorse gets named after him sometime soon because I would be way-too-interested in hearing Tom Durkin give him a stretch call.

- Mesut Ozil looks like Peter Lorre.

- Brazil's coach's name is Dunga and they have a player named Kaka. If fecal sounding names is a good thing, Brazil is a shoe-in to win the world cup.

- Is the tradition of holding hands with kids before the game really necessary? When did this tradition start? and why? and Whose idea was it? Unless they're Make-A-Wish kids, it's just odd.

- The announcer with the Scottish accent is just too hard to understand. Furthermore, two accented dudes in the booth can be a bit much. A jingoist, I am not, but it just takes more energy to decipher them and I'd rather focus that energy on watching.

- Despite England's struggles, I like their chances on Wednesday. The reason is that they're playing at Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium. Why is that significant? Because you can't spell "Mandelay" without the "Mandela". That link may be NSFW. It's for Mandelay cream (Man delay cream) that is the featured "male genital desensitizer" at stayerect.com.

- I have learned a bit about the world from the world cup. I didn't know a few of these countries existed. Like, North Career, South Career, and South Africker,

- This English team might be wussiest English sporting entity since Tim Henman's annual Wimbledon collapse in the semis or quarters after getting all of England wussydom's hopes up because he beat a lower-seeded player and this could be his year! The first Englishman to win Wimbledon since Moses's dad did it. I love it when a stereotype comes together.

UPDATE:

I thought of two more.

-Did U2 sponsor this World Cup or something? Enough of them already. It's bad enough they seem to do the Super Bowl every 3 years. And the Grammys. And any aid/relief telethons. Just enough. Not them. Not now.

-A while ago Jeff Van Gundy told a story about watching Rasheed Wallace during practice. During the scrimmage a foul was called on Wallace which he vehemently denied doing. Being a shooting a foul, the fouled player went to the free throw line and missed his first free three throw. Wallace then turned to the ref and said, "Ball don't lie." As if to imply that the ball refused to go in on an unjust call.

Well considering how France got into the World Cup and how they are doing now, I have to agree with Rasheed. Ball don't lie.

-THIS is bad as hell!!! I will tell you how it works, since it took me a minute to figure it out. You highlight the bubble to see which game the dot represents. (for this example I recommend going to Germany's 4-0 win over Australia on the bottom left). So you click on it and it takes you to a streaming twitter stream/feed kinda thing. Scroll down so you can see the moving time bar along the bottom to see which part of the game is being highlighted. The bigger the world bubble, the more mentions on Twitter that topic has had. So you can see the explosion of activity during goals.

That is a really, really cool concept.

That's how I roll.

Is Boston Contagious?

2010-06-18T11:58:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

You know Boston's two most famous sports chants are not pro-Boston, but are instead anti-opponent- "Yankees Suck!" and "Beat LA!"?

I was thinking about that during the US World Cup game when I heard the chants of "U-S-A! U-S-A!" and I wondered if we follow the Bostonian precedent it will only be a few years before we start chanting "Mexico Sucks!" instead of "U-S-A! U-S-A!"

That's how I roll.

Shots on Goal

2010-06-17T13:41:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I know this has been a low scoring World Cup, but what I'd like to know is if fewer shots on goal have been attempted? I have seen about 7 actual saves from goalkeepers so far, and I've seen at least 8938378940043908233737363 shots that were at least 2 yards wide of the goal and never had a chance of going in. When a team is down by a goal late in the game and they have an scoring opportunity, it baffles me when a player's shot misses high and wide by 15 yards despite the shot being taken from about 10 yards out.

With seemingly half of the goals we HAVE seen have been soft goals let in via goalkeeping bluders, I don't understand why more shots are not on goal.

Apparently losing is preferable to benefiting from a garbage goal.

That's how I roll.

How do you say, "I'm Wearing My Predictin' Pants" In German?

2010-06-17T13:00:00.008-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I'm picking Germany to win the World Cup.

They were my longshot pick before Michael Ballack got injured, then I soured on them when I heard Ballack was gone. Like many, I assumed that since Ballack was so good, the team couldn't replace him and would be much worse off without him. Then while watching Germany play against Australia (keeping mind that Australia is pretty terrible) I learned that the German youngsters had won the u16, u18 and u20 world cups. Now that class was in the world cup for the first time- Thomas Mueller, Mesut Ozil and Marko Marin, et al. and appear ready for the big stage. Being that they're youngsters the pressure isn't on them as much as it may be on Miroslav Klose, and the now-with-expectations Luaks Podolski and Bastian Schweinsteiger, who all appear primed and ready to make another deep World Cup run.

I tried to take into account how weak Australia was and how liking Germany after that game was like taking North Carolina in the NCAA tournament because they somehow managed to blowout 16th-seeded Rider, but I couldn't be talked off of Germany. What I impressed me most about Germany compared to the other World Cup favorites I watched was the calm that Germany felt in their opposition's zone. When the other teams would advance the ball deep in the zone, they start to speed up their game and rush things- kinda like a fish tank when you drain out 2/3s of the water and the fish swim faster and more frantically. But Germany was different- they looked just as calm, confident and composed as when they're sharing the ball at midfield. It reminded me of one of the tests psychologists use to evaluate a serial killer. While exposed to footage of a murder, a serial killer will show no elevation in heart rate: a murder scene doesn't faze them. It's just another part of life- you pick up a newspaper, you make a sandwich, tie your shoes, and murder some people. No big deal. I saw some of that in the German squad- dribbling in their zone, passing at midfield, or passing deep in enemy territory- they all looked equally collected and panic-free.

Spain is too wussy for me- they lost to us last summer for God's sake.
Brazil is strong as ever, but they're trying out a new brand of ball that I think is just going to be too much of a challenge for them to win. They will be dangerous as always, though.
Argentina is probably my second choice, but I think they will find a way to screw something up before their time in South Africa is over.
The Netherlands and England will have to show me a LOT if I am going to take them seriously in the world cup.

That's how I roll.

Good Article on Daley's TIF Policy Harming Teachers

2010-06-16T14:46:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

http://www.progressillinois.com/posts/content/2010/06/16/chicago-teachers-increasingly-complaining-about-tif

That's how I roll.

Bill Simmons Being a Little Irregular

2010-06-16T14:08:00.008-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

The top tweet was posted in early December, I think. The contradictory chat post was from last night (6/15/10) from Bill Simmon's NBA Finals chat cast thingy.

I hope no one asks for his daughter's life, but that does seem like an about-face from his previous policy. Or was that his grand coming out? It be like if Jake Gyllenhaal just went out on a date with a dude and when the paparazzi catch him he just shrugs and is like, "Well.....yeah. Did you really think I was straight? Do you really CARE that I'm gay? Ok then." Then went back to eating his dinner on his date?

That's how I roll.

Bad Day for Jesusophiles

2010-06-15T13:46:00.004-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

A Hallmark-level, yet successful painter and crazed Christian, Thomas Kinkade did some stinko drivin. If Jesus is so good why does your art suck and why did you just get popped for endangering lives if you love him so much? Weird. It's almost like he's unintelligent.

$700,000 damage was done to Jesus in Monroe, Ohio. Jesus was struck down by lightning. Maybe a dyslexic somewhere said, "May I strike God down with lightning! Wait, I meant may God strike ME down!", but it was too late.

Better luck next week, Jesus.

P.S. Have you ever been so drunk that you have heckled Siegfried and Roy? Thomas Kinkade has.

That's how I roll.

Looking for a way to Humiliate Your Horse? Have it Race Goldikova

2010-06-15T13:24:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Goldikova, the European version of Zenyatta or Rachel Alexandra kicked more male horse hiney today in England in the Group 1 Queen Anne Stakes.

With her being a miler and Zenyatta and Rachel preferring more of a Classic Distance, I wish they could compromise and race in a 1 1/16th or 1 1/8th race, kinda like how Donovan Bailey and Michael Johnson raced in that 150 meter race.

I digressed, though. The point is Goldikova is awesome.

That's how I roll.

One Metric to Determine Best World Cup Betting Value

2010-06-14T14:09:00.005-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I combined easyodds.com's aggregator for the (betting) odds of each team to win the 2010 World Cup with Nate Silver's world cup (winning) odds to arrive at, given these two sets of data, the dollar amount that a person can "expect" to win with each bet.

What the numbers really tell us is that, for Spain, if it wins you would win $450 on a $100 bet (100 X 3.5 odds + the 100 back that you bet = 450). In combination with Silver's win percentage, that means that you have a 14.85% chance of winning $450. When you do the math, you get an expected return of $66.83 on a $100 bet.

In a sense it's like in Fletch when Chevy Chase says something like, "there's a 50/50 chance of survival. But there's only a 10% chance of that happening.".

So here's the breakdown. I went with only the top 9 teams in descending order of betting odds favoritism. I show their odds, their win payout, then the win %age as predicted by Nate Silver

Country- Gambling odds= (Payout if they win)- Silver's Win %age = Payout * %age

Spain- 3.5/1= ($450) 14.85%= $66.83
Brazil- 4.5/1= ($550) 22.39% = $123.15
Argentina- 6/1 ($700) 10.35%= $72.45
Holland- 8/1 ($900) 10.03%= $90.27
England- 8/1 ($900) 8.18% = $73.62
Germany- 9/1 ($1,000) 4.11% = $41.10
Italy- 16/1 ($1,700) 1.86%= $31.62
France- 25/1 ($2,600) 1.51%= $39.26
Portugal- 25/1 ($2,600) 3.54% $92.04

The single biggest explanation for this is that Nate Silver gives Brazil a huge relative chance (22.39%) of winning the World Cup, over the next likely candidate, Spain at 14.85%- or about 33% more likely. So by Silver's metric, Brazil is a clear favorite, but the betting odds have them listed as a slight second favorite.

We all know that a chain is only as strong as it's weakest link and, some of Silver's win percentages seem questionable (is Brazil really 5 times more likely to win than Germany? or .33 more likely than Spain?), but again, I wasn't claiming to personally swear by all of this data, I'm just saying, "Hey, I did this and thought you might be interested.".

A Few Clarifications for Gambling Rookies

You may be asking what the difference is between betting odds and win odds, since after all, the betting odds are the odds to win it all. The difference is that Silver's win odds, are (his interpretation of) the objective odds to actually win it. The betting odds at various betting sites, are generally an accurate reflection of the probability of winning, but are ultimately designed to entice betting. They are running a business after all.

To help illustrate the difference between the two, consider a hypothetical: If me, you and 9 of our friends fielded a team in the world cup, we would have a 0% of winning (true odds), but the odds-makers would offer a bet on us anyway, just to entice betting, thereby making them money. They would give us odds of 750,000/1 (gambling odds), and gladly pocket the money that our friends bet on us, or people accidentally/drunkenly wager on us, knowing full well the odds of us winning is zero.

Now take that theoretical into a real life example. Instead of you, men and 9 friends, imagine you are in England selling bets to the English betting public. They know damn well English fans WANT to bet on England, regardless of the odds, thereby making it a seller's market. So if England really has a 10/1 chance to win, the oddsmakers want to sell odds at 8/1, since it's a seller's market. And if England does win, that will save them 20% of all payouts. However, the betting public can also shop around a little and take whoever gives the highest odds. This may give our sportsbook incentive to drop their odds to 9/1 in order to offer more value.

Most of the oddsmakers represented at easyodds.com are from England, so in this exercise, I'm not sure how close to true odds these sports books are because so much of their betting is hinged upon taking money on England.

Note: All of the odds used were current at the time of writing.

That's how I roll.

Lookalikes v 35.0- Mesut Ozil and Peter Lorre

2010-06-13T15:28:00.005-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Exciting German World Cup team member Mesut Ozil and Hollywood Legend from Casablanca and The Maltese Falcon, Peter Lorre, look a lot alike.

That's how I roll.

Up Yours, England

2010-06-11T23:55:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Look familiar, Englerlund? USA! USA!

That's how I roll.

You'll Think Less of Me

2010-06-11T17:29:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I accidentally thought of this one and I wasn't about to suffer through it alone.

Below is Li'l Wayne's song, Lolipop where he chronicles the receiving of oral services. The song opens with some clever lolipop-as-fellatio wordplay with him saying, "she said 'he's so sweet, I wanna lick the (w)rapper.' So I let her lick the (w)rapper".

I accidentally found myself singing along but changing the lyrics to "'he's so sweet, I wanna like the crapper.' So I let her lick the crapper."

That's how I roll.

Live Fast, Die Young, Leave an Obese Corpse: The Photographic Ballad of TR Slyder Dogging the McGangBang

2010-06-11T13:39:00.020-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

This is the McGangBang. I learned about it today. It's two items of the dollar menu at McDonald's: the McDouble and the McChicken. Two bucks and 23 cents takes it home- unless you donate to the Ronald McDonald House. You separate the two patties of the double and shamefully, yet, lustfully, insert the entire McChicken betwixt the patties. After that the only thing left to do is temporarily disable to your dignity in order to enable yourself to do something like this.*

I thought this sounded like something I could do so I did it. My friends said, "pics or it didn't happen", so I documentation my culinary descent into culinary hell. The Inferno described by our friend Dante had nine circles, I got right to the 9th circle in only 8 bites.

Theme song, bite #s, and corresponding circle of Dante's hell.

* denotes- N/A to people who drive monster trucks.

Bite 0.

Bite 1. Limbo. Inhabited by The Unbaptized and Virtuous Pagans

Bite 2. The Gluttonous.

Bite 3. The Hoarders and the Spendthrifts

(I couldn't NOT keep it real aqui, senor robles)

Bite 4. The Wrathful and the Sullen

Bite 5. The Heretics.

I thought this pic was blurry and then I realized I didn't have any proof of the date. I didn't have a newspaper in front of me today but I did take a pic of the screen from ChicagoTribune.com covering today's Blackhawks Parade, with my 5-bite bitten McGangBang.

Bite 6. The Violent.

The Penultimate Bite: Bite 7. The Fraudulent.

The Final Bite. Bite 8. The Traitors.

That's how I roll.

The Most American Meal Possible: The McGangBang

2010-06-11T12:17:00.006-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

UPDATE: I ate one.

The Yin and Yang of food manifest. Along with hard drugs, unprotected sex, sky diving, literally playing with fire, and all other good things, the McGangBang is awesome, yet could kill you.

If you put the KFC Double Down in there too you should call it the McCaligula. If that doesn't roll off the tongue for you, I would also suggest the McI'veLostTheWillToLive.

click here to support the fighting of childhood obesity.

That's how I roll.

LoveChildInvestigation v 14.0: Howdy Doody + Bill Paxton = Chris Pronger

2010-06-08T16:10:00.006-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

That's how I roll.

Intervention

2010-06-08T15:02:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Dear Nearly All Black Sports Talking Heads,

Thank you for your unfailing success at mentioning a Kardashian sister every time you talk about Reggie Bush or Lamar Odom. It makes you look hip, virile, non-creepy, intelligent and even more sports expert. Like several other sports fans, I don't watch sports for the games but to gain a perspective for who sports talking heads are attracted to.

-TR

That's how I roll.

ESPN's Horse Racing Coverage Still Subpar

2010-06-05T12:38:00.005-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

First thing is first- I am glad ESPN is broadcasting horse racing and I think Randy Moss and Jerry Bailey are great, as are the little essay readings by Bill Nack. My problem with their coverage is about the direction /scope/focus of the coverage, which I will get to a bit later.

Most of my concerns about horse racing are about the sports as a whole. Specifically, that zero people care about horse racing and the industry has little reason to believe that will change anytime time soon. So what I look for from horse racing events or broadcasts is that it is done in a manner that fosters the participation of new fans. That means less horse racing jargon, a bit more explaining how things work, and so on.

In my opinion the biggest barrier people face in entering horse racing is that they don't know what all the jargon means- place, show, furlong, route, exacta, trifecta, maiden race, etc. Equally obstructive to their participation is the deciphering of the essential bible of horse racing jargon and cryptic symbology- The Daily Racing Form. It's too intimdating for people to want to try to figure out, and, as someone who has explained to scores of people over my life how to read a Form, it would be damn near impossible to figure out what all that stuff means on your own.

It's for that reason that I think ESPN should do a better job of educating the public about how to read the Form and participate in the sport. ESPN should give people the information, which will then lead to the requisite confidence to take their family, friends or girlfriend to a day at their local track.

I'd like to see ESPN's coverage include more racing handicappers (people who try to pick the winners) telling us their selections and why. They could show us the Racing Form on the screen with a telestrator while the handicapper points at the numbers and explains why they factored in his decision. This is the only way to learn how to handicap a race- you have to watch someone do it in front of you while they explain it.

Unfortunately, ESPN's coverage has way too little of this, despite having Randy Moss, who is an excellent and innovative handicapper in his own right. Instead, their modus operandi is to deluge the viewers with human interest stories, biographies of Belmont connections, and Kenny Mayne's questionable hilarity all while trying to shoehorn in the undercard. What they should do is focus on each of the successive races before the Belmont and handicap them, leaving out the human interest stories. When I go to the track with my Racing Form under my arm, I don't know any of the human interest stories. Sure, some are fascinating, but that isn't why I love the sport. Every conceivable aspect of life has human interest stories, so let us focus on what is unique to horse racing- like horses that race eachother and betting on them.

If you like human interest stories, you may not necessarily love horse racing. But if you love horse racing, then you love horse racing. So lets focus on horse racing. You have to aim high- and if someone watching ESPN's broadcast fell in love with everything ESPN was saying, that doesn't make them a fan of actual horse racing, just a fan of horse racing stories. And if you go to the track on any given saturday, you won't know any of the stories. Similarly, if ESPN's broadcast was focused on handicapping and someone fell in love with that coverage, they could visit their local track the next day and help support the sport.

ESPN and the horse racing community need to prepare the populace with the ability to fend for themselves at the track.. Namely arming them handicapping and betting knowledge. That and only that will help bring people back.

Today's broadcast of the Belmont Day is probably the best day of racing in America other than the Breeder's Cup- Four Grade 1 races and two Grade 2s. Sadly, such an exciting concentration of talent is lost on ESPN's coverage. While they should be telling us how exciting the next race is and why, they merely show the odds of the horses in the upcoming race, before going to more human interest stories, debates about the Triple Crown structure and showing the Belmont Stakes odds yet again. The casual viewer at home has no idea what a special DAY of racing this is and how special the horses on their television screen really are. While they could be learning about how important post position or pedigree is to a sprint race, they instead are forcefed another drunken-like stumbling of Hank Goldberg interspersed with Kenny Mayne making sure the focus is on him and not the horses.

I used to wonder why no one follows horse racing.

In Jack Keruouc and William S. Burroughs book, And The Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks, there is a scene where the characters are at a port in NYC and are waiting around to be interviewed for the Merchant Marines. They're bored and nearly broke but they can't leave their area for fear they'll miss their interview. In an effort to cure his boredom, one of the characters picks up a Racing Form and gives it a quick look to see if he likes any horses running that day and can maybe make some easy money before he is interviewed and possibly deployed.

In the entire book about NYC's WWII-era Beatnik Boehemia, that scene struck me as the most outdated.

That's how I roll.

Thanks for Comin out, Illinois

2010-06-04T14:02:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Quick history lesson: Politicians used to be old, successful retirees who used their battle-tested-and-proven wisdom to steer the less-accomplished populace in the right direction. This is how our first few presidents got elected. They achieved, their achievements were recognized and appreciated, and that carried them to office. Our elected officials were kinda like what a company's Board of Directors looks like now: old, accomplished dudes showing the way.

Fast forward to June of 2010 in Illinois's Senate race. In the Republican corner we have Mark Kirk, who is known as the guy who lied about his accomplishments in the Navy. Not particularly classy coming out of the party voted Most Likely to War-Monger in their high school yearbook.

His opponent: Alexi Giannoulias, who is known as the guy who ran his father's bank into the ground when he was in charge of lending, totally shit the bed, quit, and the bank collapsed, partially under the weight of Alexi's poor performance. Now he wants to represent me.

Isn't this the exact OPPOSITE of what politics is supposed to be? Someone who failed to achieve a lot who resorted to lying, pitted against a proven private-sector failure.

Gotta love a bi-partisan system. And to think, I used to wonder why our country has gone to shit.

That's how I roll.

2010 Belmont Analysis

2010-06-04T12:03:00.005-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Update after seeing the Belmont: Whoops.

After looking at the race for the first time I thought that this would be a Belmont that we forget in five years. Ideally, you look at a Grade 1 race and think, "Wow! All of these horses are outstanding, I can't envision a scenario in which any of these 4 favorites lose. I can't believe at least 3 of them will go home a loser." but other times you think the opposite- "Wow. One of these horses gets to exit the track tomorrow as a Grade 1 winner? hmmmm. Well, tt's gotta be somebody I guess, lets see here.....". Saturday's Belmont Stakes falls under the latter heading.

When I see a race like that, I play contrarian and look for a horse that doesn't deserve to win to defeat another horse that doesn't deserve to win, but that has lower odds. Great horses rarely get beat- Curlin, Zenyatta, Rachel, Ghostzapper, Smaryt Jones, Azeri, etc. They are talented, run to form, and their best is nearly always enough to win AND they usually have their best.

Our Belmont has no such horse. It's easy to think Ice Box is THE MAN because he has run two good races. Looking only towards this race, he appears as a looming, scary figure. But a step back reveals that this monster isn't all that scary. This is a Grade 1 race, yet it took him 4 races to break his maiden. After that his handlers said, "whew. thank god he broke his maiden (at the Meadowlands, no less). He can't be that awesome, lets just put him in an Allowance race for his next one." they did and did he go off as the favorite in that modest race? Nope. He went off at 6-1 and to his credit, he won. The victory gave his handlers the confidence to enter him in a Grade 2- where he finished 5th of 10, beaten by 12 lengths.

This is the scary, bully on the block? Really? Despite my Devil's Advocacy there, I think he is the most logical win contender, but he is just the best of what's in front of us. None of these horses are historically good, and none of them have established a history of running to form.

In other words, there are few surprises when AWESOME horses run. Surprises happen in the lesser ranks, and I think this race falls under that heading. I am looking for a surprise. When a huge shocker happens on the track, usually my next thought is not, "I am shocked that unbeatable horse has been vanquished." It's, "I knew that dog horse wouldn't run to his 'form', he's just a two hit wonder."

I am expecting to say that at the end of the Belmont. Now the challenge is to find 1) the good horse(s) that disappointed, 2) the good horses that were legit favorites and finished in the money, and 3) the longshot/dog that was running well at the right time, ran the race of his life, and knocked off an overrated horse. In South America they refer to this kind of horse as "la Sopresa"- "the Suprise". That's not an easy task, but since it pays to try, I'll do just that.

Analysis

This is the only race all year I handicap for breeding and distance. The first thing I do when I look at the race, my first round of cuts, if you will, is to eliminate the horses who can't get the distance, and note the horses that might love the distance. The race that inspired this modus operandi was of course Birdstone beating Smarty Jones.

First things is first for me: does AP Indy have any progeny in this race? Yes. 3 grandsons- Ice Box, First Dude and Fly Down. The three favorites. If my fat neighbor were the grandson of AP Indy, he'd go off at 25-1 in the Belmont. Point being that they lose value for being related to AP Indy. Sure, it's for good reason, but we're just looking for value here.

After looking at the first horses (numerically in Post Position order I think, respectively): Get out of the race, get out of the race, get out of the race, you're likely a last-out one-hit wonder and you lost on that one hit. That = bad value Thanks for comingout top 4."

Bring us the to 5, Fly Down. That name makes me think it means "zipper down" and I'll be honest, I dislike the mental imagery. Anyway, he seems legit enough- his grandfather is AP Indy who won this race in 1992 and sired Jazil and Rags to Riches, two recent Belmont winners. His dad was awesome, and his connections appeared to have always pointed him to route races. His recent bullet work was noted as well. All positives. We'll come back to him.

6- Ice Box. I think he's the legit favorite, but in a race like today's, that is all relative. He's 3-1, and does appear to the best horse, but he is still highly beatable. If he loses by 14 lengths tomorrow you won't think, "What??? No way! How??" You'll throw up your hands and say, "Yeah, I guess he just strung together two good races and those were his career best. We saw him fall back to Earth today.". I try not to leverage too heavily on those horses, but, conversely, if he does win I'll think. "Wow, good for him. I guess he was legit." We'll come back to him either way and decide if he's worth 3-1.

7- I'll put my cards on the table here- I can't wait to bet against him and I hope he goes off as the 3rd or 4th choice.

8- Game on Dude (I'd call him Gay Mon Dude, if I were trackside with my friends). Not by AP Indy, but as a half-brother to Ghostzapper, his pedigree gets my attention/respect. It looks like his connections have always thought of him as a router. Reading his 4 race history from his first race to his last I'm thinking, "Sucked, won a maiden, got humilated after his owners got excited and thrust him in a Gr. 1." then it takes a turn to, "sold and trained by Baffert ok. Baffert (or his veternarian) worked his magic and he improved by 30 BSF points in his second race. Interesting."He didn't beat the world in his last race, but he beat every horse he faced, won comfortably and at a distance and on dirt. This could be the beginning of a trend.". His works show 2 bullet workouts at Santa Anita over Synthetic which intrigues me before the Belmont, even if he was ridden Handily and wasn't merely Breezing. From what I gather about Poly is that it is a bit more tiring than dirt, so his bulleted works on a tiring surface may make for a verrryyy interrressssssting prep before the longest race of his life. We'll come back to him.

9- Stately Victor. I get that he's a wiseguy's longshot, but I'm betting against him. I think he's a BSF two-hit wonder and won't be in the mix tomorrow. He's had plenty of chances to show us he's a dominant horse, and he only showed that a half of a time, sauntering past horses that were running backward in a questionably-stocked race. If he wins I won't have a seizure, but I can't bet on everyone. next.

10- Stay Put. Steve Haskin is high on this guy, and he does appear to offer good value at the very least. Getting the distance shouldn't be as much of a problem for him as it is for others- his grandfather is Unbridled, and it looks like he's always been a router. He is one of three horses whose last 3 races have all produced an 89 Beyer or higher (Uptowncharlybrown and Drosslemeyer are the other two. That could be an interesting angle for a huge Trifecta box). So I appreciate his consistency in this race of horses who are either two hit wonders, or just starting a really nice stretch of races. While he doesn't win a whole hell of a lot, I do like how he always improves his position from his last call to his finish. My guess is that he won't win or vie for the Exacta, but he's type of horse you leave out in your tri and after getting the exacta you look up and think, "Ohhh, who got third? Was it my horse??? What? it was Stay Put?? How'd he clunk up? *checks Racing Form* Oh. Well, yeah I guess that isn't shocking. I just missed him." But since we're looking for value here, we'll come back to him.

11- is he Da' Tara nouveau? Can he steal this race on the lead? Gotta remember he is by AP Indy, afterall. Those are positives. What else is there to like about him? Oh right, very little. What can you really COUNT on him for? If we average his last 4 Beyers to try to estimate how he might run on Saturday- we see the average is 91.25, great. So we'll pencil him in to run a 91.25 Beyer which should put him.......out of the money. So this horse is 7-2 and has reason to run a 91.25 Beyer is a Grade 1. Where I come from that is called bad value. This is the kind of horse you bet on and think, "Well I can't leave him out, he's the second favorite!" and not, "Sweet, this horse has it locked up.". We aren't betting those kind of horses for this edition of the Belmont. But...he is the only horse we are POSITIVE will have the lead at some point, so we will reluctantly take another look at him.

12- I'm looking for him on VH1's new show, "So your career best BSF is a 94 (and 2nd best is 89) and you think you can win a Triple Crown Race, even though your last 6 races haven't been on dirt?". What was your favorite of his wins in 2010? Well, with all of the zero wins to choose from, that question becomes rather difficult. Not my guy.

Phase 2

So who is left? Fly Down, Ice Box, Gay Mon Dude, Stay Put and First Dude (defensively). We could be wussies and box them all for an exacta or trifecta, but we won't just yet. We'll see how the race should shape up.

Upon further review- Stay Put is sorta hard to like in this spot. What I like most about him is that he is consistent and wins at nearly a 50% clip (he is for 2010). But, his two finishes off the board were 5th place finishes in Grade 2 races whose field had un-awesome horses. He's the weak link of our final 4, but worth including in exotics due to his consistency and his value.

What we do know is that First Dude will get sent to the lead, and then something will happen. He is talented enough to wire the field if he gets loose on the lead, so who will catch him? The three remaining horses we have all seem to know where the wire is and pass horses as they near it- that's a good sign for them, but will anyone duel with First Dude on the lead and loosen him up any for our closers? I kinda think the 2 and 3 horse might. My guess is that their owners/trainers are telling the jockey, "look, we probably can't win. we lack talent and we drew inside. IF we have any chance of winning, it will have to be a ground-saving trip near the lead. Give our horse a chance." And I think that will be enough to make sure that First Dude doesn't get away with his hair combed. He may take the lead down the homestretch for a bit, but eventually this will happen. You'll think: "Holy crap, he's still on the lead! Is he stealing this race? He's had the lead forever down the stretch. I think he did just steal the race!! Holy cow! Wait, where is the wire? Oh right this is Belmont and there is a long ways to g.....HOLY CRAP WHO ARE THESE TWO HORSES SPRINTING DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRACK??!!!! They're going to pass him? Holy crap, I forgot how long the Belmont is!!"

And that's the scenario I think will unfold. It could be 3 horses chasing him and only one passes him, or maybe all three will pass him and a few others. I just don't think he'll wire the field.

Looking at Formulator to determine which horse of the remaining three has the best closing kick was a little inconclusive, but it does look like Game On Dude is the weakest of the three. I'd say that Ice Box has the best, with Fly Down in the middle.

BETTING

I will use all five of my "we'll come back to" horses in some exotics.

Our 5 horses were:

5 Fly Down
6 Ice Box
8 Game on Dude
10 Stay Put
11 First Dude

I'd do a trifecta that looks like this: 5,6/5,6,8,11/5,6,8,10,11. Since I think that will be how it shapes up.

If the 11 were better value, I'd include him on top. BUT he is the only horse that we are positive will be in the lead. Whenever that is the case I try to key on him in an exacta, so we'll hope to get some value on the back end of our:

11/5,6,8,10 exacta

Then I'd swing for the fences with a 8,10/5,6,8,10,11 exacta.

That's how I roll.

I tell you what else pisses me off: Perceived News

2010-06-04T10:39:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

The worst type of headline by far is the type that asks whether or not we should be outraged: "Were Glenn Beck's Comments Sexist?" or "Is that Billboard Offensive?". If you are not totally totally outraged within .0005 seconds of hearing it, it isn't shocking or offensive. Outrage is never the result of sitting around like Rodin's Thinker then, in light of all the evidence you have weighed, you are outraged and offended.

What these headlines are really announcing is, 'Slow News Day!' or, 'We're trying to make a scandal for you, America, but we just don't have the materials. Stay tuned!'. It's petty, it's lazy and it isn't a story. It's like a fat lady in bikini, we know what you're wanting to do, but you don't have the goods necessary to do so, let's go with Plan B.

The headline I hate the second most, I'd categorize under then heading of, "uhhh, I don't know. Everyone is talking about him/her/then, so I thought I'd put them in a headline". Case in point: That missing Jonas Brother, Justin Bieber.

Today the Huffington Post had a story that I didn't click on called something like, "6 Justin Bieber Quotes That Remind us he is Still a kid". My first reaction was to be insulted that my home page's editor assumed that I sit back and 1) think about that guy and, 2) while I am thinking about him I think, "man, it seemed like yesterday he was a squeeky-voiced, annoying corporate automaton with a laughable hair(non)cut trying to sell black music to white girls and who seems to be all over Twitter and everywhere else. But now he is so grown up and adult-like. I guess I should just admit he's a grown man now. Doesn't he have a PhD or something? Wait, is he older than me??"

There is no way anyone at the Huffington Post cares about that guy. And they should be positive zero of their readers do too. Their editor got lazy again and thought, "Well, I mean his name is everywhere. I guess we'll put him on our page."

Stop. That kinda thinking is the difference between him being another, predictable, dispensable, cyclically-occurring, and a media sensation. As soon as there is a void in the tween demograhic someone will fill the void- New Kids on the Block, NSync, Backstreet Boys, Hanson, Justin Timberlake, Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers, etc. There is never a vacuum because that's Disney money out the window. There is always one, and it's currently his time for another two years.

It's like the Ecuadorian president. Sure we know there is one at all times, and I'm sure people closest to there find it to be a big deal, but that doesn't mean I need to start caring. The HuffPo got lazy and said, "well we don't care. And you probably don't, but if you do, here's some stuff on this annoying guy your daughter screams over." I don't call that news.

The job of a newspaper is to say, "Hey guy on the street. While you were working we searched around and unearthed this story. You will want to read it because it affects you and you'll be better for this knowledge." not, "Hey, here's this lame-o story. If you care. I mean,I don't personally care, but you might cuz everyone's talking about it. I don't know."

That's called Infotainment and it makes our country dumber. You know how our country's kids are stupid and so are nearly all adults? That kinda crap is why.

That's how I roll.

Where I Draw The Line With Soccer Jargon

2010-06-02T10:34:00.008-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I wanted to get this out before the 2010 World Cup started because this has been annoying me forever.

It makes sense that soccer jargon doesn't sound very American Englishy- the game was neither invented here nor thrives here. Given how geographically dispersed the game is, it also stands to reason that it might have a few verbal oddities too and I'm totally ok with that. At the risk of sounding too jingoistic, there is still one I cannot stand. But first I'll review the tolerable ones.

Pitch- the playing field. As in, "he was the best player on the pitch tonight." I don't know why they can't just call it a "field", but we call a baseball "field" a diamond, so I guess I can cut them some slack.

Nil- zero. As in, "his team lost 3- nil." It sounds a little Eurotrashy, and for some reason seems to be used only for soccer, but I guess I'm ok with it. Well, I'm ok when foreigners use it. I hate when American soccer fans feel obligated to say "nil" as if it ups their soccer credibility.

Match- usually it's a soccer match and not a soccer game. As a former tennis player I am ok with that because I know that in tennis you play points, games and sets, which are collectively known as a match.

Football- I wish the rest of the world called it soccer, but I must concede that calling it football makes a lot more sense than us calling our football, "football".

Here's what annoys me about soccer lexicon- when people refer to a country as plural, as in, "England are very strong right now and should advance to the finals", or, "If Argentina are really ready for the challenge, we'll see it early on."

The country, (e.g. England, Argentina) is singular. It is only one country. Conversely, their team, though it comprises several players, is still singular. The singular verb in that case is "is.". You say, "where is your shoe (singular)?" and "where are your shoes (plural)?". One may correctly say, "The players on Spain are in top form" but you can't say, "Spain are in top form".

Sadly, stupidly, maybe arrogantly, annoyingly, lamely, unfortunately, seriously-what-the-fuck-ly, this grammatical rule is repeatedly broken in an attempt to sound more soccer credible. The same a-hole who will say, "Where is my book? I have zero books. Where are your books?" will later put on a soccer jersey, and turn on the soccer match and state, "England are great. They'll win 4-nil." . And it is fucking awful.

As indicated above, I'm ok with some with some slang unique to one's sport. I don't chastise snowboarders for riding "goofy" or getting "squirrelly". It's how snowboarders talk, and that's cool. But they still have the dignity to keep the rules of grammar in tact. They don't say, "Dude, hill steep I anyway down ride it to the wall balls, bro. What? Oh no, it's ok to make my own syntax because I'm talking about a sport, bro." They know better.

With all of this crappiness (sadly) in mind, the real question is: Do I sound more learned about soccer when I make a poor, jargon-buttressed prediction like, "America are going to win the World Cup 6-nil over Argentina." or when I use non-soccer jargon but make a rational prediction. "If Tevez gets injured Argentina is not going to win 3-zero, but probably 3-1."?

Don't bother trying to answer it. It's an Ancient Chinese Riddle.

That's how I roll.

I was Right. Again.

2010-06-02T10:11:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

The NYPost's Page 6 is confirming what I predicted on March 2, that Erin Andrews would wind up dating her dancing partner.

I know, I know, you're thinking, "I think everyone predicted that." But here's the kicker, I knew you were going to think that!

That's how I roll.

It's Nice to Know I am Being Heard

2010-06-01T13:44:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Chicago Tribune beat writer Paul Sullivan just released this article stating that the Cubs suck. He goes on to mention that they suck by any definition of the word, but suck grandiosly when their high payroll and ticket prices are considered. None of that is new, but what Sullivan reports that is new is that the Cubs front office is finally aware of this.

For the record, I am smarter than the Chicago Cubs because I posted this on 4/10, this article on 4/13 and this article on 5/11. You know who else is smarter than the Cubs? Every single person on Earth. I don't read any Cubs blogs, but I have reason to suspect I wasn't the only Cubs fan making similar points.

Was this realization really all that diffult to foresee? It was like the Cubs front office was juggling plastic explosives in a boat and thought it was totally reasonable. Then after a few botched juggling attempts they kept at it. Only after another drop, a hole in the boat and the ship retaining gallons of water did someone think, "Wait....hang on a minute here.....this hole in the boat is actually a BAD thing.....now just hear me out on this one, you guys...."

It's one thing to field a lousy team. It's another thing to command high ticket and concession prices, but you can't do both. Even Cubs fans will turn their backs eventually. If you're dating Halle Barry and she cheats on you, you might do your best to work through it and see to it that it doesn't happen again. But if the chick from Precious cheats on you, you tell her to get the fuck out.

That's how I roll.

Is Kendry Morales Wussier Than Bill Grammatica and that Soccer Celebration guy?

2010-05-31T18:34:00.004-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

That's how I roll.

A Name for the Israeli Relief Boat Raid

2010-05-31T18:30:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I'm leaning toward Bay Of Latkes right now.

That's how I roll.

Quality Road Hiney Kicking Chronicles: 2010 Met Mile Edition

2010-05-31T17:29:00.004-05:00

(Quality Road photographed above, Vladimir Putin up. Seriously, that's Quality Road. Ok, fine it's not)

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Quality Road did it again, winning the 2010 Metropolitan Mile at Belmont on Monday.

Now, I'm not a licensed equine Psychologist (though I still practice), but it has been said before that when all you have is a hammer, eventually everything looks like a nail. Now put yourself in Quality Road's horse shoes for a minute: All Quality Road has are 4 hooves, and eventually every other racehorse looks like a hiney and he just kicks them. Every single one, every single time in Chuck Norris-like fashion.

That's my theory anyway. How else could you explain that a horse runs fast?

At the 16th pole Quality Road said, "Oh hi, Musket Man. Say, that musket sure is shiny. Now excusve me while I kick your hiney."

All kidding aside, Musket Man ran very well. He's turned into a really nice horse and one of the best horses ever to come out of the Illinois Derby.

That's how I roll.

Kobe or LeBron? or Jordan? Answer that question and you are dumb

2010-05-31T14:00:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

The Kobe or Lebron debate needs to stop. Not just because I think one player is clearly better and it isn't a discussion, but because the discussion is pointless.

Who cares? Even if you could theoretically "win" that debate and convince your fellow arguer that one of the two is better, what have you gained?

If I could go to a lab and prove objectively that one is better than the other, then broadcast my findings to the world, ending all debate on that topic forever, how would your life be different tomorrow?

Would LeBron or Kobe's life be any different as a result? No.

Everyone loves talking about it. Problem is, no one likes listening to it. Do any of your friends ever say, "Shhh shhhh shhh, guys shut up! Matt Weiner and Linda Cohn are arguing about whether LeBron is better than Kobe!"? or, "I'm going to bed. Wake me up if someone debates LeBron vs. Kobe. See you in the morning."

Ditto for Jordan talks. That guy's name is on Sports Center every single time I watch it (which is about never, I'm not a masochist). For what? It's a lazy reference.

You are journalists. If you think Kobe is historically great, tell us that and explain your rationale and give us some statistics. Don't lazily say, "Is Kobe better than Jordan?". Do your job as a journalist, do some research, break down some salient points and articulate them cleverly for us the reading consumers.

Then tackle important debate topics like: Hot dog vs. hamburger, mustard vs. ketchup, chocolate vs. vanilla and dogs vs. cats. And please hurry. I am absolutely dying to hear all of your opinions on such pressing, fact-based debates.

That's how I roll.

I Just Came up With my Competitive Eating Alias

2010-05-31T13:04:00.003-05:00

(photo courtesy of this flickr page)
By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

After seeing Dario Franchitti win Indy yesterday, I felt inspired.

Inspired to call myself Dario FrankEatty if I ever compete in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Competition at Coney Island on July 4th, that is.

That's how I roll.

Sip it and tip it: Gary Coleman

2010-05-28T14:32:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

That's how I roll.

Ancient Chinese Riddle, in Association with TR Salutes, Presents: Cub fan Beer Catch

2010-05-28T01:01:00.007-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

One day a few thousand years into the future, someone will assume this was ancient chinese riddle:

Is the guy in the movie a Gentleman or a Dude? I mean sure he's a dude. No question whatsoever. He's highly rated on the dude scale. But I mean, isn't that the most chivalrous, and thereby gentlemanly thing you can do? Like what Jack Donaghy or The Most Interesting Man in the World or James Bond would do in that position?

*GONG*

That's how I roll.

Article Link Corprolalia: Matt Taibi, Lionel Messi, a Shakespear Imposter, Banksy, M.I.A., and a Rap Song about Harold's Chicken Shack

2010-05-27T23:04:00.012-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

This should be two posts but I'm making it one just so I can be the only blogger of all time to put these together.

First two great articles I read today. And one yesterday. And it took me damn near all day.

1. Matt Taibbi's very important read about our impotent congress grabbing its ankles for wall street and their lobbyists.

2. Sports Illustrated's awesome article about the LeBron James of soccer- Lionel Messi and his relationship with his coach, and is the Babe Ruth of Argentinan soccer, Diego Maradona (pictured above as Lego). If you more or less know most of the story, this article is well-researched (and yes, long) enough to still teach you a lot of new stuff and if you are excited about the World Cup but aren't too familiar with who is good or any storylines, this might be a good place to bone up on your knowledge to make the World Cup more interesting.

3. Not to drink too much of the haterade, but the NYT Magazine coverstory on M.I.A. is good. She had it comin.

4. these two banksy articles. This one on Slate and this one on Salon.

5. This truth-is-stranger-than-fiction story about a teenager who forged a Shakespeare play in England in 1795 and it was made into a play and totally busted because it sucked. It's a sweet article. It's at SmithsonianMag.com

Now the video goods: The Chi doin big thangs in their homage to Chicken Noodle Soup, shown below.

you're welcome.

Dear TR,

They're eating chicken wings on the dance-floor, how playa is that mang?

-Delonte West.

I love that she's wearing Stan Smith's in the very beginning!

That's how I roll.

Two Ideas for ORIGINAL News Talk Shows

2010-05-26T17:07:00.005-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

A lot of stuff sucks and daytime news television is among them. One of the biggest problems is that they are all the same- every show from 12 until 6 on ESPN is the exact same. Same is true for the time slots on CNN, MSNBC and Fox News. Same topics, same/similar guests. As Donna Brazille recently said, daytime news needs more stories and less pundits out scoring points everyday for their respective teams (i.e. political party). I have two ideas.

1) Have a show called News You Didn't Hear Yet Today. If that show were to air here is what it would not talk about today- The oil spill, don't ask don't tell, Immigration legislation, Bipartisan failures. Even ESPN could use this. Instead of recapping last night's games, predicting tonight's games, talking about the latest scandal then in a moment of failed levity talking about pop culture they could actually, oh, I don't know, unearth a story. Not in that lame-o Human Interesty way that ESPN360 tries to do. Talk about the sports that don't get coverage- horse racing, tennis, soccer, iditarod, cycling or any college sport other than baseball or basketball.

I feel like my learning curve for television watching really flattens out about after 19 minutes of daytime tv. Why would I watch Dylan Ratigan, Chris Matthews, then Ed Shulz on MSNBC? they're the same show. What are you laughing at FoxNews? You do the same exact thing.

2) A news show that interviews regular citizens and allows them to discuss how current stories affect them. It could maybe be kinda like Larry King, but with less softball type questions. Like if Rachel Maddow sat in for Larry King one night. I wouldn't even mind if they talked about all the rehashed topics listed above- it would at least be something I wouldn't tune out. I enjoy hearing fisherman in the Gulf tell their stories about how the spill affects their lives. They could interview people affected by the proposed Arizona immigration legislation, people affected by don't ask don't tell, the new health care, etc.

I'd rather hear it from them than I would from Wolffe, Dick on Countdown with Keith Olbermann telling me how this will affect real citizens. Here's an idea- forget the wussy, and just interview the real citizens. Seriously, that guy is on at least 14 times a week.

With all of this punditry going on today, it's hard to take people at their word. They are either trying to score points for their team, score points with the host so they can be back again to promote their new book, or trying to be outlandish for the sake of self-promotion. Most startlingly, they could actually be telling the truth this time. We just don't know. Ordinary citizens would still probably do that to some extent, but much less so.

Oh and get rid of Rick Sanchez on CNN. Holy Moly Buttholey is that guy unwatchable. His ratio of people he's drunkenly murdered vehicularly to minutes I have enjoyed his show is: 1:0. The ideal ration would closer to 0:400.

That's how I roll.

I'm Going Sappy on you

2010-05-25T22:25:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

This picture hung in my room as a kid and I just saw a pic of it on the internet. Its hard to see in this picture but it says, "If you love somebody show it".

It's as obvious as it is simple, but I am always surprised at how few people follow such easy-to-follow common sense.

Robert Hunter wrote and Jerry Garcia sang, "Sometimes the cards aint worth a dime if you don't lay 'em down".

That's how I roll.

It Looks Like You Just Got Yourself a new Favorite Racehorse

2010-05-23T12:48:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Sorry this is in French, but there isn't a whole lot I could do about it.

Above is Goldikova, the Euro equivalent of Rachel Alexandra or Zenyatta, only better*. Her 2010 season got off to a perfect start with a 1/2 victory in the Grade 1- Prix D'ispahan at Longchamp (further reading can be had here). Along with Zenyatta, it's great to see a champion horse racing well into horsey adulthood at age 5. Any European horse that is 2 for 2 in Breeders Cup races, and is still racing automatically cracks my top 5 favorite European horses of all time. Great story any way you slice it.

Oh, but she isn't the horse I was implying will be your new favorite. Our new favorite horse was actually the German horse that finished third in that race. His name is Wiener Walzer.

Here he is winning the 2009 German Galop Derby. Start listening at the 2:02 mark. Stop giggling probably never.

* denotes- it makes for a great horse racing debate, but what is not debatable is that she is a total monster.

That's how I roll.

You Want More Graffiti? Ok.

2010-05-20T21:36:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

watching this stuff never gets old to me.

That's how I roll.

Lookalikes v. 36.0 Rand Paul and Mayor Carcetti from the Wire

2010-05-20T19:13:00.007-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Old boy Randy is on the left.

That's how I roll.

Chicago men Straighten out a Doofus

2010-05-20T15:44:00.005-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I won't put in my $.02 about Hanley Ramirez's dumb actions, but I will quote two other guy's two cents. Both former Cubs. Both referred to physical confrontation. Sadly, only one of them has a jheri curl. But hey, it's better than zero.

First, Rick Sutcliffe was quoted on Marlin's beat-writer Joe Capozzi's Twitter page: Ex-pitcher Rick Sutcliffe re: Hanley's loafing-I don’t know if I could woop Ramirez or not but after watching that, we would’ve found out.

Love it.

ESPN reported this about Hall of Famer Andre Dawson's conversation with , fellow hall of famer Tony Perez and Hanley Ramirez, "Dawson said he did most of the talking, according to the report. He said he started the lesson this way, with Perez at his side: " 'I'm not going to say a lot, because if you say the wrong the thing to me, then you might wind up on the floor on your rear end.'

The city with broad shoulders, baby.

That's how I roll.

Hey Kids, Would you Like to use Your Creativity to Help Your Community and the Gulf Coast??

2010-05-20T09:49:00.010-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

We all share the Earth, right? We share our Gulf Coast with BP, and BP shares their headquarters and gas stations with us. We are all on this planet together.

All you need to help with the Gulf Coast oil spill is a cardboard stencil, some paint, a hooded sweatshirt, a hat and a friend to be a lookout. Here is the link to a map in the picture above. These areas need your help, as do thousands of others across the country.

Silence is consent- speak loudly. Or as the Chicago Transit Authority instructs its passengers, "If you see something (suspicious), say something". Besides, haven't you always wanted to be more politically active?

From Banging Your Head Against a Brick Wall by Banksy-
A Beginner's Guide to Painting With Stencils:

Draw or copy your image on a piece of paper.
Glue the paper onto a bit of card(board) using good glue.
Cut straight through the drawing and card at the same time using a very sharp knife. Snap off blades are the best. The sharper the knife the better the stencil looks. As the Grim Reaper said to his new apprentice: "You must learn the compassion suitable to your trade- a fucking sharp edge."
Ideal card should be about 1.5mm thick- much fatter and it's too difficult and boring to cut through. Any thinner and it gets sloppy too quick.
Find an unassuming piece of card as a folder to hold your stencil in and leave the house before you think of something more comfortable you could be doing.
Get a small roll of gaffa tape and pre-tear small strips ready to attach stencil to wall.
Shake and test can of paint before you leave. Cheap British paint is fine but some brands bleed more than others. Matt finish comes out better and dries quicker.
Apply paint sparingly.
Wear a hat.
Move around the city quickly. Acting like a sad old drunk if you attract attention.
Pace yourself and repeat as often as you feel inadequate and no one listens to a word you say.

Thing globally, act locally. The sea turtles would thank you if they could talk. And weren't dead from suffocating from the crude oil in their respiratory systems.

That's how I roll.

Mayor Daley is Dumber Than 95% of Zoo Inhabitants

2010-05-19T14:08:00.007-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

You've heard of Chicago, right? The city whose leaders have speculated whether or not we need the National Guard to come save us from ourselves and our vomit-ably bad government? The city whose Mayor uses TIF slush funds to channel floods of cash to his cronies while the poor live in a DMZ? And the worst city in the world north of Juarez in which to be the Superintendent of police.

Mayor Daley just suggested he take a pay cut.

In related news, $25 for an 18" x 40" print of the image above seems pretty reasonable. Good lookin out, Ray.

"Deride and Conquer" -Banksy

That's how I roll.

My Mock-Mock Draft Blog

2010-05-19T12:10:00.004-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Last night the NBA held their annual draft lottery. Equally as traditional, and far less fortunate, is the next day when every sports website that blows offers their mock draft. Sports websites, television shows and the like offer up a lot of hot air, but mock drafts may be the hottest.

Maybe Mel Kiper and Jimmy Clausen ring a bell. Or maybe Darko Milicic sounds more familar.

Many of my readers are familiar with the definition of insanity: repeating the same action over and over and expecting a different result. Allow me speak from soapbox of sanity: No one will accurately predict the draft lottery. Ever.

Mock draft boards exist because sports media has to talk about something. They need a new headline on their website, they need a teaser on their radio show to get you to tune after these ~~not~~ important messages. The truth remains that 0 readers have benefited from a mock draft. Much like weathermen, but less altruistic, the blowhard "journalists" know that they don't have to be correct in their picks because all they have to say to their criticis is, "Give me a break! Like you could do any better! You cannot reasonably expect me to predict it accurately!"

Therein lies the rub.

Furthermore, the draft "debate" is inane because we will know the answer in a few months. The draft will happen, and every question will be answered. Rational people save heated debate for the theoretical, or things that are not provable: should we have bailed out the banks, was Warhol good or bad for modern art, was Bob Gibson's prime better than Koufax's, could Secretariat beat Gallant Fox, etc.

To revert to my weatherman analogy- no one debates the weather. While meteorologists may vary in their opinion of tomorrow's forecast, they don't pontificate with their selections. They give their rationale, give their informed opinion, they shut the hell up afterward. And those are scientists! At least when horse racing experts give you their predictions, their accuracy can make you money.

Sports "journalists" have the balls to think the following: 1) we should take their guesses as fact, 2) that only their draft board is the correct one, 3) that this sort of thing is able to be predicted with any accuracy, 4) this is an intellectual endeavor worth undertaking.

We WILL know the answer in a few months. Why speculate or get your hopes up/down for your team based on some scrotum's prediction?

Lastly, while presenting this argument to the aforementioned predictors they would most likely respond with, "give me a break. I am in the entertainment business. We have 800 words to write/3 hours of airtime to fill. We gotta talk about something." To which the rational counter is: Then maybe your column/radio show shouldn't be so long.

If you have so much free time that hearing a grown man play Sports Nostradamus entertains you, I invite you to not reproduce, although your velcro shoes are lovely.

That's how I roll.

Putting it Down for my People People in 513

2010-05-19T11:35:00.004-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I just found out that Freekbass did a song called "Reds Fan". I wish they had more songs on YouTube, but I will take what I can get for now.

In honor of the Reds being in first place in the NL Central (for now), I thought I'd post it.

And this saaaang belaaaaaannnngs to the Reds.

That's how I roll.

Florida Being Florida.....Again

2010-05-18T11:05:00.004-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy: If you've ever tased a Wendy's employee for incorrectly processing your order, you might be a Florida resident.

The taser became enraged when she wasn't given what she thought was the proper amount of mustard and mayonnaise packets, proving once again that you gotta fight for your right to obesity.

Update: Police have confirmed the woman was tased and not Toews'd.

Update update: Authorities now speculate that one way to avoid a fats food employee screwing up your order is to make your own food.

That's how I roll.

Great Photo of Aramis Ramirez's Walkoff HR by the Chicago Tribune

2010-05-18T00:46:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I am all about giving credit when and where it is due. It is due. I just don't know where because I couldn't find it on the ChicagoTribune.com (where these two pics came from), and I would love to give someone credit for it. I am sorry for not acknowledging a job well done, Trib photographer, but I assure you I am not profiting from your good work.

Those two photos arranged like that is great work.

That's how I roll.

Cool View From my Plane

2010-05-17T16:45:00.004-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I wish this picture had come out better, but my camera phone isn't the highest-powered camera of all time.

It's the Willis (formerly Sears) Tower sticking up through the clouds.

That's how I roll.

How T.R. Got His Preak On

2010-05-17T15:55:00.005-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

My Dad's friend has had Preakness seats for a long time and invited us out. So we went. It was my first time at the Preakness and and Pimlico. Leading up to the race all everyone told me, my Dad's friend included, was to not get my hopes up about Pimlico- it's a dump.

We got there Friday on Black-Eyed Susan Day. Here were our seats.

Yes, that is the finish line right in front of us (and that little booth thing on the bottom right that you can't see all that well is the television camera fixed on the wire). So we got there and I couldn't believe how awesome our seats were and how empty the place was. As you can we were inside and we were on the third level. I had never had such good seats for any race ever, much less on the day of a Grade 2 race like the Black Eyed Susan.

I asked my dad's friend how he got those awesome seats and he had a funny story about them. He said that about 20 years ago he asked a higher-up at the company he worked for if he could help him out with some seats for the Preakness and he told him, "I will get right back to you about that." Upon getting back to him he said, "A trainer by the name of XXX canceled his seats. Call Pimlico race track and tell them you would like them and they are yours." So he called them up and they were his. The next year he received a letter asking him if he would like to renew his seats again for that year's Preakness. That is all it took to get seats on the wire for a triple crown race.

This was the section directly across the aisle from our awesome seats. Oh, this was taken on Preakness day. The seats closest to the camera are right on top of the wire and the furthest seats are just past the wire. As you may be able to ascertain, it wasn't all that crowded. When a huge block of some of the best seats in the stadium, your business could probably do better.

Which brings me to my next point about Pimlico: My complaints.

Pimlico wasn't god awful, but it could very easily be twice as good with a few minor tweaks.

1. We couldn't hear the track announcer from our seats. That's a big problem. The sound was piped in, but was hardly audible. It sucked.

2. Not only could we hardly hear the track announcer, but they never told you when the race was about to start (we would have been able to faintly hear an announcement, but there were none). Post Time was posted on a few different tote boards, but when your nose is buried in your Racing Form, it's nice to have an auditory reminder to go bet. It's good business for the track to announce when the race is about to start because when they say, "4 minutes until Post Time" what they mean is, "Hurry up and get your bets in, everyone.". Pimlico didn't do that and of the four people in our party, someone got shut out at the ticket window about 3 times, costing Pimlico precious money that they can't afford to lose.

Saratoga does a much better job of this and I took it for granted. You hear, "5 minutes until post time", then you'll hear, "It is now Post time." or "The horses have reached the starting gate, they're at the post". Which means, "5 minutes to bet", "hurry up and bet, you're lucky the race hasn't gone off yet." and, "you've got about 30 seconds to get your bet in.", respectively.

3. Obstructed views. Not only couldn't we hear the announcer from our seats, but we can't even see the backstretch due to all of the tents and other stuff- and we were on the third level! It's hard to feel like you are watching the race live when you can't hear see the whole race or hear any of it. I watched most of the races on the television monitors.

4. The tote board. No where was I able to see how much money was in the win, place, show or exacta pools- not on the toteboard itself on the infield, or on any tv monitor that I saw at any part of the track. On the off-chance an informed bettor ever went to Pimlico, I bet they would wish they could see that.

Also stinky about their toteboard is how they display the exacta probable payouts. They display it in the usual way: with the horses numbered vertically down the left-hand margin. It might look something like this for a 9 horse field. Then where it says "exacta will pay 2 and" will eventually scroll to "Exacta will pay 3 and", etc. until they show you every combination over the course of maybe 5 minutes of scrolling through all the choices.

win odds: Exacta will pay 2 and
1. 5-2 35
2. 10-1 X
3. scratched scratched
4. 9-5 22
5. 4-1 45
6. 8-1 75
7. scratched scratched
8. scratched scratched
9. 15-1 155

This is where my complaint comes in. It's customary for the scrolling board to simply skip over the scratched horses. For instance, in this example it would go from showing the probably willpays from the 2 directly to the 4. Since the 3 is scratched, he will not be in the exacta and displaying his will pays would be a waste of everyone's time.

Well, at Pimlico they show you anyway.

So it will say
win odds: Exacta will pay 7 and
1. 5-2 scratched
2. 10-1 scratched
3. scratched scratched
4. 9-5 scratched
5. 4-1 scratched
6. 8-1 scratched
7. scratched X
8. scratched scratched
9. 15-1 scratched

then after it finishes cycling through the 7 willpays, it will go on to show the same thing for the scratched 8 horse. For them to show that is unthinkably irrational.

5. There were no restrooms on the third level.

Those 5 things were exceptionally irritating and would be so easy to fix. Let's step it up a bit Pimlico, but otherwise I had an outstanding time.

That's how I roll.

The Chicago Banksy and a Very Handsome Blogger

2010-05-17T15:51:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I checked out the Chicago Banksy today. It was awesome. It's right in the Fulton Market district, which is one of my favorite areas of the city. Thank you to the friendly bystander and fellow Banksy enthusiast for taking these pictures and suggesting the pose in the top picture.

That's how I roll.

Jupiter Lost one if its Rings

2010-05-12T21:41:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Seriously. That's kinda awesome.

That's how I roll.

Free Preakness PP's Available

2010-05-11T16:23:00.002-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

While the entrants are not yet official for the Preakness, the Past Performances of the likely entrants is available at the Daily Racing Form's website.

That's how I roll.

Cool Bannerhead Logo on the Chicago Tribune Today

2010-05-11T15:08:00.003-05:00

I like it.

ChicagoTribune.com

I wouldn't mind if the feathers were hanging from the, "C" in, "Chicago" and the, "T" of, "Tribune" were a Taser. As in "Don't Toews me bro".

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

That's how I roll.

England Being England

2010-05-11T14:55:00.004-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Regrettably, I was watching CNN's resident drunk driving homicide expert, Rick Sanchez, interview an Englishman about England's new PM, Davide Cameron making strange bedfellows with the Liberal party and their leader, Nick Clegg.

The Englishman effectively said, "These are two unlikely groups to make friends with one another, we will see how long the honeymoon lasts. Some people think this could explode." After he said as much he threw in, "...it is what some people in the English media are calling 'The Poisoned Chalice.'."

You can't always count on England to be awesome, but you can ALWAYS count on England to be England. The country that is, not Lynndie England.

That's how I roll.

Loyal Divide, Vision Vision video

2010-05-11T12:52:00.003-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

This video is weird, then cool, then you realize what's going on, and it's crazy awesome. You may prefer watching it on full screen, which means you'll have to watch it on vimeo.com.

If you don't see what's going on, scroll down to the very bottom after the video, read the spoiler, then re-watch.

hat tip to Tello Real for schoolin me to this one.

Loyal Divide - Vision Vision (Directed by BBGUN) from bbgun on Vimeo.

Spoiler Below:

further below

further

closer

ok: the catch is that the video is just real dudes dressed in black with white stripes on their black clothes. There is very, very, very little animation done.

That's how I roll.

Pin the Tail on the Jackass: Would you Support This Mystery Baseball Team?

2010-05-11T12:04:00.006-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

There is an MLB team that is the following:

3rd in team payroll with $146 mil. (see below, win %age inserted next to team name)
1st in ticket average ticket price ($52.56, SPOILER ALERT IF YOU CLICK THE LINK)
2nd in total cost to take a family of 4 to a game ($329.74, $5 shy of first place)
tied f0r 23rd best record in baseball (out of 30 teams) with a winning %age of .424.

1. Could you make a case for any team's general manager being worse?
2. Would you support this team?
3. (Spoiler alert if you click here) By the way, they have about 2 players worth watching.
4. They haven't won a world series in over 100 years.
5. The sizes of hot dogs at their stadium should be small, medium, large, Prince Fielder's Choice.
6. #5 was just something I threw in that wasn't totally related.

2010 Team Payrolls
No.	Team Current Win %	Payroll	Average
1.	New York Yankees .677	$206,333,389	$8,253,336
2.	Boston Red Sox .515	$162,747,333	$5,611,977
3.	XXXXXX .424	$146,859,000	$5,439,222
4.	Philadelphia Phillies .625	$141,927,381	$5,068,835
5.	New York Mets .531	$132,701,445	$5,103,902
6.	Detroit Tigers .563	$122,864,929	$4,550,553
7.	Chicago White Sox .406	$108,273,197	$4,164,354
8.	Los Angeles Angels .441	$105,013,667	$3,621,161
9.	Seattle Mariners .387	$98,376,667	$3,513,452
10.	San Francisco Giants .600	$97,828,833	$3,493,887
11.	Minnesota Twins .656	$97,559,167	$3,484,256
12.	Los Angeles Dodgers .469	$94,945,517	$3,651,751
13.	St. Louis Cardinals .625	$93,540,753	$3,741,630
14.	Houston Astros .323	$92,355,500	$3,298,411
15.	Atlanta Braves .438	$84,423,667	$3,126,802
16.	Colorado Rockies .469	$84,227,000	$2,904,379
17.	Baltimore Orioles .281	$81,612,500	$3,138,942
18.	Milwaukee Brewers .469	$81,108,279	$2,796,837
19.	Cincinnati Reds .531	$72,386,544	$2,784,098
20.	Kansas City Royals .344	$72,267,710	$2,491,990
21.	Tampa Bay Rays .688	$71,923,471	$2,663,832
22.	Toronto Blue Jays .559	$62,689,357	$2,089,645
23.	Washington Nationals .563	$61,425,000	$2,047,500
24.	Cleveland Indians .379	$61,203,967	$2,110,482
25.	Arizona Diamondbacks .424	$60,718,167	$2,335,314
26.	Florida Marlins .469	$55,641,500	$2,060,796
27.	Texas Rangers .563	$55,250,545	$1,905,191
28.	Oakland Athletics .531	$51,654,900	$1,666,287
29.	San Diego Padres .613	$37,799,300	$1,453,819
30.	Pittsburgh Pirates .438	$34,943,000	$1,294,185

That's how I roll.

2 new Banksy pieces

2010-05-11T03:40:00.006-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

courtesey of Maxwell Colette's Flickr page

And this just days after finding a Blagojevich bomb was put up in Lakeview, presumably done by CRO.

That's how I roll.

I'm Gonna Beat WhereAwesome Happens Investigation: "I'm Gonna Beat the Fu&%$ing Mexican Piss Out of you, Homey. You Feel me?" Edition

2010-05-11T03:20:00.007-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

Click Here and at the 1:13 mark you will hear a Seattle cop tell a hispanic man, "I'm gonna beat the f&%#ing mexican piss outta you, homey. You feel me?". (sadly, I cannot embed the video here in the article, you'll have to open it in a new tab and watch it).

But it gets better, and this is where the investigation comes in. At the 1:21 our whitey news reporter is saying, "....watch what happens when our officer threatens to, quote, beat the effing mexican piss out of you, homey". Let's face it, its awkward/hilarious to hear a reporter say that. Aafter he says that, the reporter pauses for a beat or two before beginning with, "as the uncuffed detainee". It REALLY REALLY REALLY sounds like the reporter is smiling. That might sound weird at first, but you know how you can 'hear' someone smiling- their mouth shape changes the tonal quality of their voice slightly enough that you can detect a difference. when he says, "as the uncuffed" he makes as a 3 syllable word, "a-a-as" almost like it has a "ha ha ha" kinda tone.

Well, I think the reporter has it. To me it sounds like he before the camera started rolling he called his buddies at the bar and said, "Swear to God I am not making this up: I convinced my boss to let me say ON AIR, 'I'm going to beat the effing mexican piss out of you homey'. SWEAR. TO. GOD. Tune in at 11. Make sure everyone at the bar sees it. I gotta go."

Then after he said it on air he thought to himself, "My God I have done it!"

That's how I roll.

Blagojevich Tag Now in Lincoln Park (well Lakeview, technically)!

2010-05-07T19:54:00.007-05:00

By: T.R. Slyder, TRSlyder@yahoo.com, @AndyDisco on Twitter

I was walking west on Diversey today (a block west of Clark) and what do I see in an alley but the work of my favorite Chicago graffiti artist?

Here was my view from Diversey

And upon closer inspection:

A little Jailhouse Rock motif for our Elvis-loving-soon-to-be-jailed, ex-governor.

Job well done, Ray. Thanks for bombing where I live! It looks great.

That's how I roll.